by Kahlen Aymes
Jarvis moved aside to let Derrick leave before I could respond. I didn’t know what to say anyway. I didn’t know what to do, either.
MISSY
Jensen convinced me that I didn’t need to worry about Dylan while I was away. He’d promised never to leave my son’s side, and they were having a blast in Atlanta while I was sitting alone in my Philadelphia hotel room on Friday night.
Jarvis had gone to his room just after we’d gotten to the hotel, but the girls were pestering me with text after text requesting that I join them in the bar for a nightcap. Part of me wanted to hole up inside my room; the old part of me, but my new resolve to control my fear made me change my clothes and refresh my makeup. I would go down there and have some fun!
When my phone rang it was after ten, but I wasn’t concerned anything was wrong. Jensen told me he was taking the kids to a baseball game and they would be home late.
Dylan’s exuberance was palpable as his voice came excitedly through the phone. “We went to a Braves game, and Jensey and Chase took me into the locker room! I got a signed baseball from Sean Newcomb!”
“Wow! That sounds amazing, baby!”
“It was so cool, Mom! I got to meet the whole team and the coach!”
“Did Remi like it, too?”
“Nah, not too much. Miss Teagan wouldn’t let her go into the locker room with us guys.”
I smiled, loving how happy Dylan sounded, but I understood Teagan’s reticence. All of the naked men walking around would explain her decision. I was a grown woman, and sports reporting was my job, and I was shy about it.
“Well, it sounds like you’re having a fabulous time with Jensen and Chase!”
“I am! Chase has to go to Kansas City for practice tomorrow. I wish we could go watch, but Jensey said we can’t this time.”
I knew that nothing would enchant Dylan more than being on the field watching Chase and his teammates during practice. There was a game with Ecuador early in the season taking place in Orlando. Their baby should arrive by then, but I’d heard Chase and Teagan talking about it. Chase didn’t want to go without his family, but it might be too soon for the baby to travel. He would have no choice but to go; he was the star forward on his team. Teagan told me about their wedding at Disney World, per Remi’s expectations, and it sounded absolutely magical. I was sure the kids would want to go if given a chance. Dylan had never been to Disney, and he’d adore it, but he’d love seeing a live soccer game even more.
I shook my head, stopping my thoughts. I had no right to think of Dylan and myself as part of their family; as if we’d be automatically included in the future, but they’d all been so welcoming that it was difficult not to let my mind wander in that direction; especially when it came to Jensen. My heart was so full of him. He was literally like my knight in shining armor coming to my rescue when I needed it most, and equally important, becoming such an important role model for my son. It didn’t hurt that he was strong and gorgeous, or that he stirred a physical and emotional response in me like I’d never known before.
“I’m sure he’ll take you someday,” I said, hoping against hope that our dreams of Jensen being part of our lives would come true.
“Yeah, that’s what he said. He promised.” I could picture my son smiling from ear-to-ear. He seemed content with Jensen’s answer, trusting that he’d make good on his word. A far cry from what Dylan could have expected from Derrick.
“Is he there with you?”
“Yeah!” Dylan said with his mouth full; obviously eating something before he went to bed. “Wanna talk to him?”
“Yes, please. Be good, baby. I love you.”
“Love ya, too, but could ya stop calling me that, Mom? It’s not cool,” he mumbled and then yelled into the room beyond the phone. “Jensey! Mom wants ya!”
I almost blushed. The innocent statement from my little man couldn’t be truer.
“You want me, huh?” Jensen’s smooth voice came across the line with a smile lacing his tone.
I smiled wide, my cheeks almost painful as I laughed softly. “Guilty, as charged,” I admitted.
“Well don’t worry, it’s mutual,” Jensen said. “Did our boy tell you what a great time we had? I have to get him some display cases for all of his sports paraphernalia.”
“You spoil him,” I replied, still blushing, my love for him growing deeper at his reference to Dylan as ours.
“He’ll be okay. You should have seen him running around shaking hands with all of the players. It was classic.”
“You’ve become so important to him. I think he’d trade me in if he could have you instead.”
“That won’t be necessary.” His voice was sultry and made me physically tingle all over. “What are you up to?” he asked, his voice falling into a lower, more seductive timbre.
“Michelle and Liz want me to go down for a couple of drinks.” I wished I could tell him that I’d rather spend the time talking to him on the phone and that he made my insides melt like butter.
“Are you going, then?”
“I am. For a little bit. We don’t have to be at the stadium until tomorrow afternoon.”
“I know,” he answered. “Just be careful.” I knew he meant that I should be on the lookout for Derrick.
“I am, I promise.” I sank onto the edge of the mattress, wishing I hadn’t told the girls I’d meet up. I’d much rather stay and talk to Jensen on the phone than be with anyone else in person. “Keeping track of me, huh?” I asked playfully.
He inhaled so deeply I could hear it over the phone line. “Exactly. No sign of the asshole at the ballpark. I was keeping my eye out.”
“If he is lurking anywhere, it’s around Dylan. I’m just glad he doesn’t know where he is.”
“I did some research today. He’s working on the McIntire building downtown. It’s a big project, so he’ll be here for a while, unfortunately.”
“He used to send a supervisor and a crew to any remote jobs. He gets bored easily.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to reassure Jensen or myself that he wouldn’t stay very long in Atlanta.
“Well, it isn’t about the job this time; that’s obvious. Don’t worry. I got this.”
“I know you do.” At that very moment, a text came through on my phone.
“The girls are bugging me. I hate to run, but I think I should meet them.”
“Sure, you go ahead. We’re just having ice cream sundaes and watching Field of Dreams.”
“Hot fudge?” I asked playfully.
“Is there any other kind?”
I laughed happily into the phone before he continued. “Call me later if you want. I’ll be up.”
“Sounds good. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. Bye for now.”
After I hung up the phone it wasn’t Liz or Michelle’s name that I saw on the screen of my phone as I’d assumed; it was Derrick’s.
In an instant, I went from being happy and relaxed to anxious and freaked out. My heart started pounding harshly, feeling as if it would break free from my chest. My hand was shaking as I held on to the phone. I wanted to ignore it, but that wouldn’t solve anything. It could make me even more vulnerable if I didn’t know Derrick’s location.
I opened his text.
Come downstairs. We need to talk.
Oh, shit! Was he in Philly or did he think I was at the apartment in Atlanta? Somehow, I had to find out, but I could barely type out my response.
In the parking lot?
I didn’t have to wait long for his response.
No. The bar.
I dropped the phone on to the low pile of the carpet and put both hands over my face.
Fuck! He was here.
The hysteria I used to feel with Derrick was resurfacing. My eyes began to blur, and the blood thundering at my temples made pain burst in my temples. Both hands clutched in my hair as I tried to calm myself down. Was I was having a panic attack?
My phone dinged from the floor again. Another text ca
me in, and I scrambled down to pick it up.
Come down unless you want me to come up there.
I took a shaky breath. At least the girls, and hopefully part of the station crew, would be around and I’d find safety in numbers.
I’ll be down shortly.
I stood and walked to the bathroom to check my appearance in the mirror. I wiped an errant tear away from beneath each eye and concentrated on even breathing. I touched up my mascara with trembling fingers, moved slowly into the other room and picked up my purse; sliding the phone inside. I couldn’t let him see that he still had the power to make me crumble.
The elevator ride to the lobby was the shortest in history. I was still shaking on the inside, but the fake calm I’d learned to master in my years with Derrick had kicked in. Just before entering the bar, I texted Liz to tell her I’d be a little while and that I was meeting someone else in the bar first. I didn’t wait for her to answer before I returned the phone to my purse and walked through the open doors of the hotel lounge.
My eyes scanned the perimeter for Derrick. He wasn’t at the bar, though Liz, Jeremey, and Michelle were. They were all staring at me as I walked in and Liz lifted her phone. She’d gotten my text. I made brief eye contact with her, but then found Derrick sitting in a booth back in the far corner.
I made my way toward him as unwaveringly as possible. He didn’t stand when I approached, but his narrow eyes burned into me as he waved a hand at the empty seat across from him.
I sat down and slid in. “What do you want?” I made sure to keep my voice even, and as unaffected as I could muster.
He had a drink in front of him, and from the amber color, it had to be some sort of whiskey or scotch. He always went for the hard stuff. Memories of him beating me in a drunken rage erupted like a horror film inside my head.
“I told you. I want my kid.”
I met his eyes without flinching though I didn’t respond.
He lifted his hand to call the waiter over and ordered me a glass of white wine. It was his habit when we were married. I didn’t object, deciding to save my energy for the real fight.
“You followed me to Philadelphia to talk to me and convince me you’ve changed?” I spat in disgust. “This is you not stalking me?” I huffed angrily, shaking my head.
“I didn’t follow you.” He smiled in that condescending way that infuriated me. “I’m bidding a job,” he said casually, digging into the bowl of cocktail nuts in front of him and removing a few. The way he chewed made me insane. My hatred for him had no bounds. I wished I could scratch his fucking eyes out of his smug, arrogant face.
“Sure, you did.” I couldn’t help crossing my arms over my chest, unsure if it was an unconscious way of protecting myself or trying to hide the trembling of my hands. “I’m not an idiot.”
He popped some nuts into his mouth at the same time that he shrugged. “Believe me or not, I don’t give a fuck, Melissa.”
Well, at least that was honest. He never gave a damn about what I wanted, how I felt, how our son was affected. My animosity grew as I sat waiting for him to continue. I’d just let him say what he wanted to say and then get up and walk over to my friends.
“You’re traveling every weekend, and so he can be with me. Where is he this weekend, anyway?”
I kept my mouth shut.
“If you don’t let me see Dylan, I’ll hurt you.” Derrick’s demeanor was calm, like a glassy lake in a mountain valley. He sat there calmly drinking from the glass and swirling what was left of the liquid around inside the glass, his eyes burning into me. He was such a ruthless bastard.
“I don’t care,” I said. And, I didn’t as long as he didn’t hurt Dylan.
“Really?” He continued to eat, unperturbed. “Do you care if I hurt Romeo?” His eyes locked with mine. “Ah…” He pointed at me, a sly smile sliding grotesquely over his lips.
“Sure, you will. That’s why he beat the shit out of you the other night, right?” I couldn’t keep the contempt out of my voice.
“I admit, he took me off guard, but he hardly beat the shit out of me. I have friends in low places, Melissa, so don’t forget it. You won’t pin anything on me, even if you tried.”
“Stay away from us, Derrick, or I swear to God, I’ll get another restraining order!”
“Oooooh,” he said patronizingly. “I’m scared.” He took another handful of nuts from the dish. “Look, Melissa, I just want to get to know my son, and you have no right to keep him from me.” His face was still an angry red, but instantly, his expression changed. His demeanor changed on a dime. “I’ve changed.”
“I can see that,” I seethed. “Sociopaths don’t change.” It was a bold move that I knew it would piss him off, but I didn’t care.
His face filled with hatred and he leaned forward menacingly, putting his elbows on the table.
“Look, you little whore, I won’t have some pretty boy who is fucking my wife raising my son! Jensen Jeffers, right? Yeah,” he said, gauging me for any inkling of feelings. “I know who he is. I know he works with you.” He tossed a few more nuts into his mouth and chewed, studying me. “I’ll haul you to court for custody, and this time I’ll win. I’ve got a hundred character-witnesses lined up to testify on my behalf,” he warned. “Some were Dylan’s teachers and doctors. Some of your old lovers who say you brought them into my house and screwed them with Dylan in the other room.”
I gasped at the absurdity of it. He practically had me under lock and key the entire time we were married. “None of its true. We both know I was a virgin with you.”
He laughed harshly, a sound I’d grown to despise. “Doesn’t mean you didn’t have affair after affair while we were married. I’m sure ESPN will love having two of their sportscaster’s names in the national news for shacking up after they just met. I’m sure your boss will want a known whore working at ESPN.”
“You’ll never win.”
“Won’t I? I haven’t violated the fucking restraining order once, and it’s done now. Over. Yeah, I had a lawyer go to court in Wyoming, and because you didn’t show up, I won. How does it feel, you little bitch?” He was furious, I could hear it in his voice, even though he didn’t display anything physical for the other’s in the bar to witness.
My eyes widened in shock. “I didn’t know, because I wasn’t notified!”
He shrugged casually, and his face turned mocking. “Well, see that’s just it. That’s not what our records show. We filed with the court, and let your lawyer know. Is it our fault he didn’t notify you? How were we to know he’d be killed in a car accident right after we filed our motion?” Derrick sneered. “Yeah. I hear it was faulty brakes. It was a bloody, bloody mess.” Terror ran through me at the picture he painted as he met my eyes. “I know what you’re thinking, Melissa, but you’ll never know, will you?”
I knew. He killed my lawyer. He’d orchestrated his death and made it look like an accident.
“Anyway, I got the result I wanted,” he said casually, taking a swallow from his glass. “No show in court. Ta da!”
I shook my head, wanting to vomit. “You despicable bastard,” I accused.
Derrick just laughed, taking pleasure in my misery. “Careful,” he warned. “You haven’t even let me talk to Dylan, and as I said, I have character witnesses galore. On both of us. I’m a saint, and you’re unfit.”
“Dylan hates you. Why do you want to see him now?” I asked, panic filling my soul.
“If he hates me, it’s because you poisoned him against me. I won’t let you give my son to someone else! I won’t watch that asshole raise my son!”
I should have known it was all about control. Derrick couldn’t care less about Dylan. He just couldn’t stand being out of control of the situation, or of me. The truth was, I knew what my ex-husband was capable of. I knew he’d be able to buy people off. Worse, he could convince those who just met him that he was pure as the whitest snow, and their conviction was far more threatening than the truth.
“Dylan loves Jensen! Don’t destroy this for him!”
Derrick’s lip lifted in an ugly sneer. “He isn’t his father. I am.”
He must have taken my stunned silence for acquiescence because he continued, unfettered, on with his rant. “This is what you’re gonna do, Melissa; convince that fucker you’re done with him, or he’ll have an accident. Then, ease Dylan into the idea of seeing me gradually, and we can work out a reasonable visitation schedule for the time I’m in Atlanta. Tell him I’ve missed him or whatever you have to say; tell him that I want to be his dad again. If you do that, we’ll work this out; I don’t want to hurt Dylan, or you,” his tone took on a commiserate, condescending tone.
I’d have to be mentally challenged to believe one fucking word that came out of this man’s mouth. The back of my eyes burned with frustrated tears. “Yes, you want to hurt me. That’s what you live for.”
A sly sneer slid across his face; a face I once thought handsome was now revolting. “Maybe I do, but you better not give me a reason,” he said, standing and throwing down a few small bills onto the tabletop. “Keep Dylan away from the daddy-wanna-be, or I promise I’ll do something you and your lover-boy will both regret. I just want my son. Melissa. Maybe you can come back to Dallas, too, if you’re really nice to me. Maybe I can forgive your whoring around. Who knows? I’ll be in touch, sweetheart.”
With that, he walked out of the bar, and for minutes, I just sat there shaking with the wine he’d ordered in front of me untouched. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. My skin was crawling, and I wanted to rip it off with my fingernails.
“Missy!” Liz’s voice broke through my haze. “Who was that?”