by Kahlen Aymes
I fell forward, one hand pressing down on the top of her desk to take my weight. I was breathing hard, still convulsing as the aftershocks shook through us both.
I sucked in a deep breath and gently disengaged from the woman who now owned me. I closed my pants then pulled Missy forward until her feet found the floor, and putting an arm around her to steady her, I used my free hand to pull the hem of her skirt back in place.
When her eyes opened, she stared at me with tear-filled eyes.
“See? You love, me,” I said, gently brushing a loose tendril of hair back behind her ear. “So, enough of this nonsense about breaking up.”
She swallowed and licked her lips. “Sex isn’t love.” She was doing her best to deny what was between us, but the tears in her eyes belied her emotions.
“You’re right. But you know damn well, that was love. It’s been love since the first time,” I said softly.
Tears tumbled from her eyes, as her arms slid up around my neck. I pulled her tight against my chest, kissing the side of her face tenderly.
I could have held her all day, but I needed to find out what the hell happened in the past forty-eight hours that could cause this meltdown.
“So? What happened?” I prodded gently, still holding her close.
She pulled away a bit, looking up into my face. She was so beautiful; tear-stained face and running mascara, it didn’t matter. I cupped her face and used both thumbs to brush the tears from her cheeks.
“He showed up in Philadelphia.” Her face crumpled again, and I closed my eyes. Fury exploded inside me.
“Fuck me,” I breathed out. “We have to call the police, Missy. You should have called them on the spot.”
“He said he was bidding a job.” She shook her head adamantly. “Even if he didn’t intend to accept it, or he bid high to ensure he wouldn’t get the job, it would explain his presence there. He’s a snake. He thinks of everything.” She closed her eyes, touching her forehead with the fingers of one hand. She frowned. “We can’t talk about this here. You’ve got things to do, and so do I. I don’t want anyone at the station to know about this, Jensen. I can’t jeopardize this job.”
I sighed again, the air making my lungs tight. She moved a few feet away and sat down at her desk, her fingers dropping from mine. I took the chair across from her once more.
I understood how much being independent had come to mean to her. This job was security and security that wasn’t dependent on me, Derrick or any man. “I understand, but we have to deal with this prick,” I said calmly, but sternly. “Tell me what he said. Everything.”
She related the entire thing. He’d ambushed her in her hotel, threatened to hurt her, Dylan and me. I couldn’t stand the trepidation in her voice. I couldn’t stand that she was scared enough to sacrifice her relationship with me, willing to subject herself and her son to that fucker for even one single minute. “How could you agree to any of that?”
“I didn’t agree!” she said with bitter sadness. “But I know what he’s capable of, and at first, when I didn’t answer your calls, I was trying to figure it out, but then—” she threw her hands up in defeat. “I decided you didn’t deserve to be in the middle of all this. I didn’t want you hurt.”
“Chase and I—” I began.
“No! I can’t endanger Chase! Teagan is about to have her baby, Jensen. They’ve already done so much. You all have, and I absolutely can’t risk any of you.”
There was no way in hell I was going to let her deal with this alone. I knew that people as inherently evil as Derrick Ellington do not change, and it would be over my dead body if he harmed one hair on either Missy’s or Dylan’s head.
“Well, I’m not letting you take chances with yourself or Dylan.”
“I thought if I let him see Dylan, he’d realize how much work being a parent is and leave us alone.”
“What the fuck?” I exploded. “I think that’s denial! He’s not going to give up until you’re back in Dallas submitting to his abuse. I won’t let you put Dylan through that. No fucking way in hell.” I shook my head. “No way!”
She straightened her back in visible resolve. It was like she’d just given up any hope of resistance; not the strong, sassy woman I had come to know.
“Do you think I want to put him at risk? I know Derrick. I know how to handle his anger better than anyone. I don’t know what else to do.”
I rubbed a hand over my face and jaw. “Have you told me everything?”
“Yes. I have.”
The way she said it; in that awkward, strained way made me doubt it was the truth. There had to be more to it, but for whatever reason, she didn’t want to tell me.
“Well, we have to figure out a way to deal with this miserable son of a bitch.” I was still unsatisfied with the outcome of this conversation.
“You and I can’t see each other, regardless,” Missy insisted. “It’s for your own good.”
“Fuck my own good,” I said getting up to leave, opening the door to her office. “I’ll call you tonight.”
“Think of Remi, Jensen. And Chase and Teagan. Don’t underestimate Derrick. He is evil.”
I stopped and looked back at her through the doorway. “I’m not underestimating him. Not at all. But I’ll be damned if I’ll leave you to deal with him alone, so answer my calls, and I’ll tell Walsh I’m leaving early. I’ll pick up the kids.”
“Teagan said she would,” she said.
“Nope, I’ll let her know I’m picking them up. We’ll all be over to their house because Chase is in KC, and I’m not leaving any of you alone. I’ll have dinner delivered, so why don’t you join us, and pack a bag. We’re all having a sleepover.”
She only nodded in affirmation, a look of relief finally settling on her beautiful features. “Thank you.”
I nodded, leaving her office to head to my own, thinking the entire way. That motherfucker must have something over her, or he threatened her in some other way. In my heart, I knew Missy was as in love with me as I was with her. I was determined to find out what was really going on… and fast.
MISSY
I spent all day at work worrying. I was fidgeting with my phone, waiting for a call or text from Derrick; as if I was waiting for a bomb to drop. I wasn’t answering Jensen’s many attempts at contacting me because I didn’t know what to say. I mean, what could I say? I love you, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, but I can’t be with you? The thought alone made me die a little on the inside.
I struggled with how to break up with him and not lose it completely. Even though doing so was to protect him, I couldn’t tell him I was miserable, or he’d never accept my decision to put the relationship on hold. I wasn’t sure he would, anyway. He was smart, and he knew everything about Derrick, so how could I expect him to believe me? My thoughts were utter torture, and they were killing me. The last few sleepless nights were starting to take their toll.
Wednesday morning started off like shit when Jensen ambushed me in my office after my meeting with Jarvis, and it all went downhill from there. I tried to convince him that things were moving too fast and we needed to slow it down, but I should have known better. He knew me; really knew me, and it wasn’t long before I’d melted into his arms and sobbed my heart out… and then wholly succumbed to my need and love; we had the hottest sex I’d ever experienced. I’d never be able to convince him we should take a break after that… but maybe I could convince him to keep it secret, for now.
I should be happy to have such a strong, sensitive man taking care of my little boy and me, but instead, I was terrified my ex-husband would hurt him in an underhanded and violent way and Jensen couldn’t be possibly be prepared. Derrick was viciously ruthless, and if I was honest, I was scared out of my mind for all of us.
After I’d gotten back to the hotel the other night in Philadelphia, I’d opened my laptop and Googled my attorney in Jackson Hole, tears rolling down my face due to what I found. The car accident was real, and it was b
loody. He’d crashed through a railroad crossing at the bottom of a hill near his home, smashing his car into the side of a moving train, chopping it into pieces and sending it rolling for several hundred feet. His wife and young son also died in the crash. The picture in the local newspaper showed no skid marks, so Derrick was telling the truth. I wondered how he’d managed to tamper with the brakes on my attorney’s SUV. It flashed through my mind like a scene from a Mafia movie. I’d felt sick and ended up puking into the wastebasket near the bed.
Finally, I looked up the court records to my case, and everything Derrick said was true. My restraining order had been overturned the day after my attorney was killed; noting no opposing counsel appearing. I wondered why he hadn’t notified me about the court date, but at this point, it was moot.
I’d spent the entire night huddled in my bed, hugging my pillow and crying in desperation; wondering what I was going to do. What could I do? I had to protect Jensen and Dylan, and I had no idea how other than to give in to Derrick’s demands. Later that night when Jensen called, I was a coward and didn’t answer my phone … I’d made it through the weekend assignment by the skin of my teeth, only because I wasn’t taking Jensen’s or Derrick’s calls. It was the only way I could keep it together.
All the trepidation I felt in Philadelphia, was still there despite the morning with Jensen in my office. My beautiful new life was crumbling around me.
Now, it was 3:30 PM and I was still struggling and preoccupied; pretending to research the players and teams for my upcoming assignment when I was startled by my cell phone ringing. I picked it up; frantically fumbling with it, I almost dropped it. Part of me was afraid that it would show Dylan’s name on the screen, but then I’d hear Derrick’s voice when I answered. I felt sick to my stomach.
“Hey, Mom!” My son asked, and a wave of relief flooded over me. My entire body relaxed, alerting me for the first time how tense I’d been.
“Hi, babe!” I greeted brightly, hoping to sound normal as I gathered myself together.
“Mom! I asked ya not to call me that!” Dylan lamented.
“Oh, sorry.”
He seemed satisfied by my apology, rushing on to the purpose of his call. “Can I go to Jessica’s birthday party on Saturday? It’s at PlayDaze! Remi and all the guys are going, and so please!”
My instinct told me I shouldn’t allow it. I’d have to start talking to Dylan about seeing his father, and I was dreading his reaction. This party would be the excuse I needed to keep Dylan from Derrick, for at least one more weekend. I could leave him with Jensen or Teagan and Chase when I went out of town. It was the only way I knew he’d be safe and the only way I’d be able to do my job. Nothing said I had to tell Derrick where the party was, or who the child was they were celebrating.
“Who’s the little girl?”
“She’s in our class and her brother is into soccer n’stuff! I really wanna go! Please, Mom? I gotta tell Jessica today cuz her mom said so!”
I understood the urgency, but it put me on the spot. Birthday party venues required advance notice of the number of children in attendance at their events; I found that out when I had Dylan’s 5th birthday party at All Fun and Games in Jackson Hole.
I sighed loudly. “Okay, honey. Can I call you honey?” I asked quickly, with a smile in my voice, realizing my mistake.
“Mom! Jeez! That’s for babies!”
I couldn’t win. “Oh, okay. I’ll stop.” I was sad that my little boy was growing up and he didn’t want me calling him sweet names anymore. Hopefully, in a few years, he’d be okay with it again. Maybe I was just weepy because of the trauma from the previous weekend or the ocean of fear that I was drowning in, but my eyes flooded with tears; causing my surroundings to blur. “Please ask Jessica to tell you what time and which PlayDaze it will be at, okay?” I cleared the tightness from my throat.
“Yay! Thanks, mom! I gotta invitation! All that stuffs on it, already!”
“That’ll be good, then! Make sure to bring it home.” I tried to sound happy for him, but I was afraid to let him out of my sight. Maybe I could chaperone if it ended before I had to fly out. “Jensen is getting off early to pick you and Remi up. Not Teagan, okay?”
“That’s awesome! I gotta go play with the guys!”
“Dylan!” I said, a little too sternly. “Make sure to stay with Remi, and both of you stay inside the school and wait for Jensen to come in and get you, okay?”
“Awww, Mom! Do I hafta? We were gonna play basketball on the playground,” he bemoaned. “We started a game at recess, and my team is winning! Maybe Jensey could come’n play with us! Maybe he could call the plays like he does on TV!”
I couldn’t help a little smile. When it was Jensen commenting, it was super cool, but when I did it, I was just his mom doing her job. I wasn’t jealous. I was happy he loved Jensen so much, but it would only make the introduction of Derrick back into his life that much harder to bear. “Well, you can’t today. Just stay inside.”
“But, why?” he whined.
“Dylan, do as your told! I mean it,” I said sternly.
“How come?” he persisted. My son had a mind of his own and was always needing answers.
“Because Jensen said he’s coming into the school and he doesn’t need to waste an hour sitting in the pick-up line, plus I don’t want him looking all over the schoolyard for you,” I lied. “Got it?” The last thing I wanted was to lie to Dylan, but even less so, to scare him.
“Okaaaay,” he lamented.
“That’s my boy. I’ll see you at six.”
I took a deep breath as I hung up the phone, setting it on top of my desk. I leaned back in my chair but had barely done so, and it began to ring again. I answered without thinking.
“Did you forget something?” I asked into the phone.
“You’re hard to get a hold of. Are you ignoring my calls?” Derrick asked harshly. Any attempt at his fake facade was lacking. I could almost hear the snarl in his voice.
I gasped. “Actually, yes.” I couldn’t help my answer or the blatant hatred that dripped from my voice. I had more disdain for him after his threats than I’d ever had before; even when he was forcing himself on me, or during one of the beatings.
“Careful, Melissa. Remember what I said.”
“How could I forget, you were so persuasive,” I said sarcastically under my breath.
“Don’t push me or I’ll show you how persuasive I can be,” he answered, making my blood run cold. His tone had softened, but he still sounded like the devil to me. He made my skin crawl with every syllable he uttered. “I’ll pick up Dylan on Friday night at 6.”
Anxiety had a stranglehold on my lungs, but I pushed out the words. “No, Derrick, I’m afraid that won’t work.”
“Make it work,” he growled. “This isn’t up for negotiation; your paltry little stall tactics won’t work on me. I thought for sure you had learned one thing from me, and it’s that I get my way.”
I closed my eyes. The level of hatred I had for this bastard left me breathless. “I’m not stalling, Derrick. Dylan has a birthday party to attend on Saturday, and it’s an all-day thing. He’d already been invited before you showed up in Philadelphia.”
“I don’t believe you. Why didn’t you tell me, then?”
“Gosh, I don’t know,” I said, as sarcastically as I could manage. “Maybe because you stalked me and caught me off guard?”
“Don’t be a bitch, Melissa.”
I gnashed my teeth, and my jaw jutted out of its own accord. He was one to talk.
“All his friends are going, and he’s very excited. Can’t we work out something else? This whole thing will work better, and he’ll be more receptive to you if you let him make a gentle transition.”
I held my breath waiting for him to answer. Derrick was never gentle; I knew that first hand. Waiting was the worst part of dealing with Derrick. It always had been. I didn’t know what to expect. Sometimes he exploded like a nuclear bomb and other ti
mes, was completely calm and reasonable. The not knowing was the killer, and I often wondered if it was a deliberate tactic designed to drive me insane.
“I can take him. Where is it?”
“Um… I can’t remember right now.” I hadn’t seen the invitation yet, but it would implode the excuse that the party had been on Dylan’s schedule for a while. Plus, there was no way in hell I was telling Derrick where my son would be. I scrambled for a response. “I’m still new to town, and I haven’t gotten all of the pizza places and kid-friendly stuff down yet. I can let you know, but it starts early, so I can just take him.”
“You leave town on Friday or Saturday, don’t you?”
My mouth opened, then shut without saying a word. It was true. My work week was Wednesday through Sunday, and he knew it.
I finally found my words. “I’m leaving on Saturday evening this week,” I said, honestly.
“Fine. Then I’ll pick him up and keep him Saturday night and Sunday. Half a weekend is better than nothing. Who’s been taking care of him?”
My right hand covered my mouth as panic took me. I was running out of excuses, and I cleared my throat. My mind was racing; I’d have to get a lawyer and at least try to keep Derrick from Dylan. Lawyers and court fillings took time; maybe a judge would put a hold on visitation while the case was in process.
“Answer me, Melissa!” Derrick demanded, shaking me out of my thoughts.
“A friend has been, but my mom is moving to Atlanta and will be here mid-week next week. She’ll have him then.”
“No, she won’t. I’m his dad, and he’ll be with me when you’re gone. She can babysit if you have to work late, but I want first right of refusal if you can’t be with him. I’ve already talked to my lawyer about it. He’s putting it in the parenting plan he’s drawing up.”
I was verklempt. This was getting out of hand.
“He hasn’t seen you for two years, and you want to hoist yourself on him all at once? This little father-act won’t fool him, Derrick.”
“Fuck you, Melissa. That friend you leave my son with better not be your pretty-boy. Did you end it with him yet? Lie to me, and I’ll know.” His voice was dangerously low.