Shaking his head, Ken turned and started walking back toward the house.
Behind her, Beck let out an amused-sounding snort.
She turned on him. “What?”
He shook his head. “Dewi, I gotta hand it to you. You found a winner in Ken. And I mean that seriously, not snarkily. Because…” He held his arm out, indicating Ken’s departing back. “Fuck, man. That was OG shit, right there. Damn. If that’s a fraction of what he was like that day in Idaho when he killed Segura’s men? Damn.”
She couldn’t feel too ticked at Beck, because she agreed with him.
Ken was definitely a winner. Which was why she loved him so damn much. “Help me get this guy over to the wood-chipper,” she said, leaning down to grab an arm.
“No, ye don’t.” Badger stepped forward, his hand out and warding her off. “March yerself back to the house wi’ yer mate, missy.” He pointed in the direction Ken had headed. “Yer in no condition to do any heavy liftin’.”
Her jaw gaped. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. An’ I won’t hesitate to Prime ye, either.” He pointed again. “Go on wi’ ye.”
“I am a Prime Alpha wolf and Head Enforcer of the Targhee Pack!”
“Yeah?”
“And I’m head of the expanded pack council!”
He planted his fists on his hips. “Yeah?”
“My brothers are the pack Alpha and his second in command! My grandfather was the pack Alpha, and is on the expanded pack council!”
“And yer point bein’?”
Jaw gaping, she turned to Beck, who held up his hands. “Nope. Sorry, hon, but I never argue with Badger. That’s successfully worked for me over the years and I’m not about to fuck things up now.”
Speechless, she stared from Beck, to Badger, and back again before finally throwing her hands in the air in frustration and letting out a growl. She turned and stormed off after Ken.
Behind her, Badger chuckled before he called out to her. “That’s it, missy. Listen to me once in a while now, and life’s a lot easier. Come on, Beck. Let’s get this bloody bastard mulched.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Dewi hurried after Ken. Now that Segura was handled and she had time to think…she didn’t like the way Ken was walking, with his shoulders hunched, a force in his step.
Determined.
Pissed off.
“Ken?” She finally caught up to him and tried to match his pace. “What’s wrong?”
“Seriously, Dewi?” He caught her off-guard, turning, backing her up as he screamed at er. “What’s wrong? Are you fucking kidding me?”
She found herself torn between trying to figure out why he was upset…
And turned right the hell on and wanting to jump his bones.
Jeezus.
“I mean, we got him,” she said, “and—”
“You are fucking pregnant!” he yelled. “You’re my wife, and my mate, and the mother of my child! You cannot go letting fucking asshole drug lords kidnap you just so you can wood-chip them!”
She couldn’t help it—the look on his face when he realized what he said was totes adorbs.
“And I shouldn’t ever have needed to say that damn sentence in the first place!” he added.
“I am sooo fucking turned on right now,” she admitted as she reached for his shirt.
But he grabbed her by the wrists, preventing her from fisting his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss. “No, Dewi. We need to talk. Right now.”
She didn’t fight him or pull away, but she did struggle not to Prime him so she could fuck his brains out. “Talk about what?”
He actually closed his eyes and she heard him mentally count to ten through their mate bond.
“I’m not a child,” she said.
His eyes flew open. “Then stop acting like one, dammit!” It looked like he finally realized he’d grabbed her and something akin to horror flashed across his expression. He released her wrists and turned away from her, once again heading to the house.
Didn’t take a rocket scientist for her to realize he’d associated that with what his step-father had done, the abuse perpetuated to Ken’s mother, and that he was disgusted with himself now on top of everything else he was feeling.
She darted around him, blocking his way. “No, talk to me. You said we needed to talk. Let’s talk.” Behind them, she heard the wood-chipper crank up.
Ken’s eyes dropped closed at the unmistakable sound of the chipper bogging down momentarily before it revved up again. He looked like he might puke.
Then, silence settled through the woods once more as the chipper shut down.
He opened his eyes and looked at her. “I get it. We aren’t like regular people. But I should not have to shoot a Mexican drug lord in my fucking backyard so that my pregnant wolf wife, who let the fucker kidnap her, won’t accidentally eat one of our friends or family because I don’t have enough raw goddamned meat to give her!”
He was practically screaming by the last several words.
Okay, practically was being…conservative.
He absolutely was fucking screaming.
And she was absolutely fucking horny now.
He held up a finger as he started backing away from her. “No. Dewi, no, I am not letting you rage-fuck me out of having this conversation with you.” He blinked. “And, again, that is not a sentence I should ever have to say to my wife.”
She pulled up short at the tears in his eyes. “Wait, you’re really upset?”
“Yes, I’m really fucking upset! Gawd!” He dug the heels of his hands in his eyes before looking at her again. “Dewi, I get that you aren’t used to having to restrict yourself or your actions. Before you were pregnant, you know what? I mostly agreed with you, no matter how uncomfortable it frequently made me. You had a job to do, and you do it well. But you can’t do that now. Not anymore.”
“Ken—”
“No.” He jerked away when she reached for him. “I don’t want you Priming me to make this better. If you touch me, you’re going to fuck me, and then how many times do we keep having this fight, huh? Pregnancy isn’t slowing you down or making you think about things, apparently. Do I have to beg Duncan and Badger and Peyton to Prime you to forbid you from taking unnecessary risks? Or to, what, not have our child in a damn carseat while you go chasing after someone? Or, that you can’t bring fucking assholes to our house to kill them and chip them if our kids might see? All because you apparently won’t listen to me? Where does it fucking end?”
His rage had totally knocked her off kilter emotionally. “I…I didn’t think you’d mind—”
“Where is the line, Dewi? Where does it stop? When do you let yourself be happy and have a life? When will our child be enough for you? When am I going to be enough for you? Will I ever be enough for you? You told me your main mission in life was making me happy, but I gotta tell you, right now? This very minute? I am not happy with you, or with being ignored about this, or not being consulted about this and getting a chance to sign off on it first.”
He turned and stomped toward the house, his words leaving her so stunned she actually needed to stand there for a minute to process them.
* * * *
Ken needed some time alone and was actually glad Dewi hadn’t followed him immediately. He felt so angry he was literally shaking.
He hadn’t even felt this rattled that day in Idaho when he shot Segura’s men.
Or drove off the fucking side of the mountain.
This was their property, their land.
Theirs.
It was supposed to be the one place he could feel safe and at peace.
It was his home, his family.
Yes, the confrontation with Endquist wasn’t Dewi’s fault, and he didn’t blame her for that in the slightest.
This?
He absolutely blamed her for this.
Once he met Dewi and accepted his life had changed forever—for the better—he wasn’t supposed to have to worry about
his safe haven being breached. Hell, he might as well be back in his small apartment with Dave randomly showing up to mooch off him and threatening to beat him up.
That’s what this felt like, the emotions evoked by the events.
It reminded him of his terror growing up.
It reminded him of his mom dying.
Maybe I have PTSD.
He hated that he wasn’t strong enough to stand up to Dewi, that he wasn’t an Alpha.
How was he supposed to raise a child with her if he couldn’t even convince Dewi that doing this kind of shit while pregnant was bad? How was he ever going to stand up to Dewi, to their child?
How was he supposed to discipline a child if Dewi was going to do shit like this and totally ignore him?
He also couldn’t forget the fear in Trevor’s voice when he’d showed up with Tamsin that day. The tears in his eyes as he told them about losing Maisie and Rupert.
His grief.
Ken never wanted that to be him.
I am way out of my wheelhouse now. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn’t be happy with what we had. No, I had to go thinking that I could improve on perfection and fuck everything up. Then I accidentally got her pregnant because I was an idiot and didn’t think about what we were doing that night.
Okay, so Dewi had also taken joint responsibility for not thinking about what they were doing as being risky, but still.
When he reached the house he drew the gun and stashed it in its normal hiding spot in the cabinet, along with the holster.
Something else that angered him, that he’d been forced into needing to learn these things so he could protect himself and his children.
That he’d had to kill the guy because Dewi wasn’t thinking ahead and hadn’t planned to let Beck kill the guy. She’d totally intended to shoot Segura herself, even knowing she’d need meat later.
And she toyed with the fucker like it was a game.
Before Dewi could return to the house, he grabbed his shopping list, his reusable shopping bags, and headed out to his SUV.
Guess I’d better double up on London broil and steaks.
* * * *
Dewi stood there and tried to process what just happened.
Did we just have our first…fight?
She wasn’t sure, but she was thinking…yeah. Pretty much.
Wow.
This wasn’t something she was used to. Arguing with Badger or her brothers about work- and pack-related stuff, sure.
This…
This felt…wrong.
Bad.
This left her feeling emotionally gut-punched in an ugly way.
And it’s my fault.
No, Ken wasn’t being unreasonable, or controlling, or an asshole.
Once they’d learned she was pregnant, he’d asked her to please take it easy, to not put herself in any unnecessary danger.
Could she have simply shown up at the hotel room with Badger, Beck, and Duncan, and Primed the fucker and brought him to the house to take care of him?
Sure.
But this had been more…satisfying.
Fun.
Yes, her plan had put less of the general public at risk, but still…
Shit. He’s right.
When she reached the house, she heard the sound of Ken’s SUV starting up out front, but by the time she got inside and made it to the front door, he’d already left and was nowhere in sight.
That left her feeling…
Miserable.
She tried calling Ken’s cell, but he sent the call to voice mail.
She didn’t leave a message or try texting him. He was angry, rightfully so, and needed time alone.
When he returned home, she’d apologize then.
Badger and Beck returned to the house a few minutes later and found her in her office.
“Did ye calm ‘im down, then?” Badger asked.
“No,” she glumly said. “He left before I got back. I think he went to the store.”
“Dewi, no offense,” Beck said, “but I’m going to side with Ken here. He was really upset, even before you got here. I didn’t think much about it when you called me, because I’m used to you being…you. Not until I saw it from his side and he made a valid point that he should have had a say in this. But yeah, I think you crossed a line.”
“I know,” she grumbled.”
When Ken finally returned from the store over an hour later, she walked out to meet him and forced herself not to use Prime when she touched his arm. “Hey, talk-talk. No Prime, I swear.”
He stopped and but didn’t turn. “Yeah?”
She took a deep breath. “I’m really sorry. I screwed up.”
He finally turned and leaned against the side of his SUV and looked at her, although he pulled away from her touch and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Do you understand why I’m upset?” he asked.
“Yeah. I just…I’m sorry. I’m not used to not being…me.”
“You are you, but you’re going to be a mom. You could have done a lot of different things differently today and I wouldn’t have begrudged it at all.”
“I just wanted him to feel fear. To suffer.”
“I know. But you made me suffer, too.”
That emotionally gut-punched her. She wrapped her arms around him and tried to blink back her tears. “I’m sorry. I…I won’t do anything like that again.”
“Or anything risky.”
“Or anything risky. I promise.”
He finally wrapped his arms around her. “I’m still angry with you.”
“I know.” Oooh, boy, did she know. It radiated off him.
“And I’m upset.”
“Yeah.”
“And scared.”
That made her feel even worse. “I know. I’m sorry.”
He took a deep breath. “I love you, babe. We need to talk about this again later, when I’m not so…raw. You know what sucks? I’m not even upset that I killed him. He needed to die, and I cannot believe I’m feeling that way.” He sighed. “When are our guests arriving?”
“They’re on the way. I think you’ll like them.”
He finally released her and moved to get the groceries. “Go ahead and tell me that part of the story.” He reached for grocery bags, but she stopped him.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Dewi.”
She kissed him. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
He nodded. “Tell me the story. We’ll talk later about this. I want to know about them before they get here.”
She hugged him. “I swear,” she promised.
He finally hugged her back, hard, and the way his voice choked ripped at her. “Don’t you ever fucking scare me like that again.”
She tearfully laughed. “Like you scared me by driving off a mountain?”
He froze, but when he started laughing, she sensed the worst had passed. “Okay, to be fair, you have a point.” He nuzzled noses with her. “So that makes us even, right?”
She smiled. “No, I’m always going to try to make this up to you.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
December 22nd
Dewi sat sideways behind her desk in the office, her laptop balanced on her lap and her feet propped up in another chair. Dewi, and those still left in Florida, were all flying out to Idaho tomorrow morning. She’d received a phone call that morning from Peyton that had…complicated matters.
Nami, Malyah, Lu’ana, Da’von, and Bebe had flown out last week to Idaho, because Dewi suspected there was a secret baby shower being planned for her. Although the excuse had been that Gillian and Asia wanted to take them all, including Brianna, to a ski resort for a few days. Gillian, Asia, Tamsin, and Nami would enjoy the resort’s spa facilities and take care of Bebe while the others went skiing with Lu’ana, Da’von, Brianna, Asia’s kids, and some other close pack members.
Dewi, Ken, Badger, Beck, Duncan, Reggie—and everyone else—was flying out tomorrow to meet at the pack compo
und to celebrate Christmas, staying until January second, when they’d all fly home together.
Except…
Sigh.
There’d been a…complication.
Briana and Da’von had fallen for each other—fallen hard.
Fortunately, Nami had already decided she loved Brianna and had basically adopted her into the family by the time Gillian and Asia caught on—and caught Brianna coming out of Da’von’s room that morning.
Then Gillian and Asia had sat the two of them down and got them to confess they were in love.
Keep in mind that Da’von still had no clue about the “wolf stuff.”
Malyah stumbled across the discovery while it was in progress, but Nami and Lu’ana didn’t know yet.
Which left Peyton in a pickle, of sorts. He swore everyone to secrecy—including not telling Nami and Lu’ana—and called Dewi to tell her and put her on the phone with Brianna.
And of course Peyton gleefully passed the pickle to Dewi to handle, since she was in Florida with Brianna’s protective brother and brother-in-law. Brianna begged Dewi to tell the men for her so she didn’t have to worry about them being upset at Da’von upon their arrival.
But that wasn’t the only reason Dewi needed to talk to the two men this morning. Hopefully, the shock of the first bit of news she’d be dropping on them would help offset the shock of the second bit of news she’d be dropping on them.
Goddammit, Peyton.
When Carl appeared in the open doorway, with Mateo behind him, Dewi waved them in.
“You wanted to see us?” Carl asked.
“Yeah.” She pointed at the two chairs in front of her desk and turned to face the men, putting her feet on the floor. “Need to show you something Badger, Asia, and Gillian dug up.” She clicked into the file, a .pdf, and turned her laptop to show them, setting it in front of them on the desk so they could read it.
Carl grokked its meaning first. That much she could tell from the shock that filled his expression. “Holy shit!” he whispered, making her smile.
Mateo blinked, tears filling his eyes. “Are…are you sure?” Carl laced fingers with him and brought Mateo’s hand to his mouth, where he kissed it.
Bleacke Spirit (Bleacke Shifters Book 4) Page 17