by Rose, Amelia
I bit my lip, paced the same way Hutch did, ran a hand through my hair, managing to spill most of it out of its pins and all over my neck.
"The grocer's wife, she said they need people like the Bradleighs in town." I looked at her, imploring, meaning it very much as a question.
Annie made an exasperated sound. "We need their money, I'll grant that, but they're not going to go away because Mrs. Bradleigh lost another child. It's sad, for her, for him, though he doesn't have the sense God gave a goose if he keeps on with her and expects he's going to have a son to leave his fortune to."
She rose and came to where I'd retreated near the fireplace mantle, biting my lip, chewing on my nails. She pulled my hand from my mouth, took both hands in hers.
"You did nothing wrong, Maggie. You couldn't have known, and you would have gone even if you did. You're good."
"How can you say that? After – " I waved toward the kitchen.
She dismissed it easily. "Lots of girls get silly over Matthew. Many mothers who have lived hard lives before they're expecting lose their children. You have set out to harm no one, Maggie," she said, releasing me and turning to move toward the windows. "Forgive yourself. Everyone else has."
And there she'd gone too far.
"No, they haven't."
When she turned back, it was with surprise. "I don't understand."
I told her. About the visit to the Gold Hill grocer, about the people on the street, about going to buy sundries and finding I couldn't even be waited on. I didn't cry, didn't drag out the story. I just told her.
When I finished, she shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger. "Small minded people. But I think Matthew has news that will make a difference."
"Matthew," I said, not understanding.
"Matthew," she agreed. "Come, let's eat the dinner you've prepared."
The day waned as we sat to supper, the four of us, and it was less uncomfortable than I had feared. If there was a tension between Hutch and Matthew, it was still greatly improved from how I had last seen them together.
I hadn't spoken to him, or even seen him, since the day Hutch had thrown him out of the house and since then, I had been afraid to mention his name. Now, I needed to get past my fears and talk to him, with Hutch present.
Handing him a plate of chicken and corn from Annie's house, I said with mock severity, "You couldn't see your way clear to letting anyone know where you were going?"
Matthew looked anything but contrite. His eyes were shining and he kept grinning.
"No, no, Maggie," Hutch said much too carelessly. "I told you that Matthew did leave word – with the most drunken, least dependable man he knows."
"Nonsense," Matthew said. "That would have been Jason Seth."
A comment destined to stop the conversation in its tracks. Except that Matthew was still smiling, as was Annie.
Hutch looked from his sister to his brother, frowned at his brother for several seconds, and looked back at his sister. "What do you know that I don't?"
"So very much," she said lightly.
Hutch looked at me. "Will you talk sense?"
The undercurrent of suppressed glee was getting to me. "I will talk wedding plans, if you like, husband."
He glowered. "I am not your husband."
Another potential conversational gambit sure to go wrong, but something had happened, something that made Matthew smile at his chicken and Annie look contritely at everything but either Hutch or me.
Hutch looked from Matthew to Annie to me, and then settled to simply eating. Matthew was able to bear it for no more than two minutes, before he put down his fork, pushed back his plate, and said, "Annie and I went to Alturas."
Hutch regarded him. "We are aware of that, Matthew."
"But you don't know why." When he had all our attention, he stood. "You were sending our father part of every paycheck before we bought the mines, were you not?" Without waiting for Hutch to answer, he went on. "And once we bought the Silver Sky, or you did and I bought in, once it was producing, you sent home a lot of money."
Hutch had stopped moving, his fork resting on his plate, his food pushed away.
I held my breath.
"Father bought the cattle ranch with what you sent him."
He was beginning to look smug. Hutch must have thought so too, because he turned to Annie and said, "His news is the story of my life?"
"Shh," she said, patting his arm as if she were listening to a riveting story and resented it being interrupted by a small, undisciplined child.
"He invested," Matthew said simply, leaving Hutch confused.
"Then what did he buy the cattle ranch with?"
"Not all of it, brother," Annie said.
"Just enough that we can either inherit the cattle ranch, or set ourselves up for another business," Matthew added.
My heart lightened a bit. Hutch would be unlikely to take charity, but money earned from money he'd earned? If there was a chance to save the house, or the mine – neither of which I wanted. The afternoon in Virginia City had given me a freedom I didn't expect to find in Gold Hill. Maybe people would forgive and forget but more likely, they would close their minds or, at best, tolerate and ignore.
That wasn't the life I wanted.
Hutch wasn't smiling either. "My house is in foreclosure. The mine has stopped producing. Annie – "
"Annie never wrote and told them how dire straits were," Annie said, standing to start clearing plates because no one was eating. "Did you?" she asked Matthew.
"I don't write letters," Matthew said. "And Hutch does, but he talks about me."
"There's so much to discuss on the topic," Hutch said dryly. He was beginning to smile. "Are they set? Can we borrow? Would they – "
"Not borrow, I don't think," Annie said. "If you were in California, they would set you up with acres of the ranch, get you started so that you could make a living. If you had told them that the mine was in trouble, rather than telling them that Matthew was in trouble, which is hardly even interesting, let alone new, then perhaps they would have offered assistance before."
Hutch was smiling still.
For him, the future had just changed. Whatever plans he made, there was a chance to save the house, a chance to save the mine.
A chance we would stay in Gold Hill.
I'd wanted to love it here. I did love the house, and the garden, and the sage-covered foothills, and I had wanted to fit in with the people in the town, know my neighbors, make friends.
But the house was another woman's house, where another woman's choices were kept by her husband. The garden had been planted by other hands and cared for by other people, and in that garden, I had almost lost everything.
The people in town would recover. Maybe. But, I didn't think I would. The grocer's wife, learning I had not been at fault, might try to make amends. I would accept apologies but I was not sure I was a kind enough person to forgive. I definitely wasn't kind enough to forget.
Hutch, though. Hutch had been given a reprieve, a way to hold on to what he had earned, to make his life where he had chosen to make it. If I was going to be his wife, I would stand by his choices.
I surfaced from my thoughts to hear the other three discussing some childhood infraction of Matthew's, a topic I was convinced could easily entertain all of them through the remainder of our meal and the pie I'd baked the night before. I rose without thinking, so uninvolved in the story, I didn't realize I'd said nothing.
It was Matthew who stopped me, reaching up and touching my arm lightly and just as quickly moving away.
"There's something else," he said, and I sat, equally without thought, my mind turning over ways I could stay in Gold Hill and yet thrive.
Annie's smile lit the room. Matthew looked fit to burst. I glanced at Hutch. He shook his head, as confused as I was.
"The Faro Queen," Matthew said.
My heart leapt. I looked quickly at Hutch, to see him looking stunned just
before the grin spread across his face.
"You've found a location?"
"Empty casino in Virginia City, far end of C Street."
"How close is it to the Silver Queen? Bucket of Blood?"
"Far enough from both, close enough to the entrance of town, close enough to homes."
"There's enough from what Father – "
"There's enough to buy a herd of saloons."
"Herd?"
"Fleet. Covey. C street. Did a good trade."
"Then why?"
"Owner died."
"Gun fight?"
Matthew shrugged. "His own damn fault."
"There are ladies present."
"There are!" Annie laughed.
"The Faro Queen," Hutch said.
"Our Faro Queen," Matthew said.
A fresh start, I thought.
"Are we running away?" I asked.
Hutch had come out to join me on the front porch in the July night. Annie had gone home, escorted by Matthew, to see if I was as bad at gardening as I had warned her I was. I thought she'd be pleased to see I'd overestimated my lack of skill.
Hutch sat down beside me, rested his arms along the back of the bench, stretched out his long legs, crossed at the ankle. "Would it bother you if I said we are?"
I hadn't anticipated the question. "It would, and it wouldn't."
"Because you don't want to run from a fight but would be glad to leave?"
That was accurate enough to make me stare at him. "Yes."
Hutch tightened his lips in a rueful smile. "We're not running. We're making a change. Annie may buy the house, or Matthew might. He's probably going to stay here."
I frowned. "Why would he want a house?" I glanced at Hutch. "What do you know that I don't?"
"So very little," he said. "But I do know there's a certain Mayor's daughter who has been biding her time."
"The Mayor's daughter," I asked.
Hutch looked content. "She's the one he goes back to, between the others. I always thought he was the one coming and going and making it hard for her but looks like she's sent him away each time."
I couldn't think of anything to say to that.
Hutch could "Smart girl."
"What does that make her now?"
"The one he pursued. And after that? Mrs. Longren."
And that I really couldn't think of anything to say about. I moved over into the lee of his body and Hutch dropped his arm from the bench to my shoulders, pulling me close.
"So that's one of the Nevada Longren boys married."
My heart sped up.
"And Annie's set, she's going to buy a dress shop."
"How long was I out here?"
He laughed. "She told me as she was going. She was so angry about what happened to you, and so excited about what's happening to Matthew - "
"Excited?"
"Amazed?" He leaned down and kissed my hair. "You smell good."
"I spilled vanilla when baking."
"Mm. You smell good."
I turned my face up to his and he kissed me, softly, his fingers caressing my face and throat.
"So when will the other Nevada Longren boy get married?"
"He's not a boy," I said. I traced his mouth with my fingers.
"How fast can you sew a wedding dress?"
"I'll start tomorrow." A thought struck me. "Or I could buy one from Annie's shop."
He looked at me. "I've no objection. You were the one looking to economize."
I took a breath. "When I went to Virginia City today, a man came looking for a midwife at the shop I was in."
Hutch frowned. "Why there?"
"There's a midwife in Virginia City. Jennie, I think. She was gone to Dayton for the day, so I went with him."
Hutch drew in a breath and stopped moving. His eyes searched mine. "You're all right?"
It almost seemed a strange question. I hadn't been the one giving birth. But I had been frightened.
"I'm glad I went," I said. "They had a daughter. It's her first child. She was afraid and he was scared out of his wits." And I wondered what he'd think of me talking about it but if we were going to be together, if I were going to continue to midwife, we'd have to talk about it, wouldn't we?
He kissed me. I wasn't growing used to that at all. Every kiss was like fireworks. I moved closer, pressing against him, finding his mouth with mine. He complied, but pulled away before I was ready. I looked at him questioningly.
Hutch stood up fast and paced away from me on the porch, staring out at the street.
"Hutch?"
I started to stand. He motioned me back down. "Just let me get through this, Maggie, please?"
I spread my hands, confused, afraid, wondering if now, somehow, when it looked like matters had resolved, I was going to lose him anyway.
He paced, ran his hand through his hair, and stopped at the edge of the porch. When he turned back to me, he was a silhouette against the sunset.
"When you went to the Bradleigh's house, when you came back here and told me about it, I didn't help you."
I wanted to get up and go to him. I wanted to absolve him of this guilt, to say I understood when I wasn't certain I did. Or rather, I wasn't certain he did but I thought he needed to learn. My hands wrapped around each other, tightening into a hard grip, and I waited.
"Annie talked to me tonight."
Again, I wondered how long I had been outside as the others talked.
"I didn't know about Mrs. Bradleigh. Maybe I should have, but." He shrugged.
I took a chance. "You don't gossip much?"
That actually made him laugh. "Oh, men gossip. Some days I think that's why the mine doesn't produce more. But no one had ever told me about Mrs. Bradleigh's past, and I might not have listened if they had."
I took another chance. It seemed like a good time to learn something about men. "What kind of gossip do you listen to?" I was teasing. A little.
"The kind that is not fit for a lady's ears," he said promptly. Then, more seriously, "You were hurt by what happened at that house. I knew that. I just couldn't be close to it. I didn't expect what happened afterward. I never thought our neighbors would act that way. And that must have hurt you more."
I laced my fingers very tightly together and stared wide-eyed at him. I was not going to cry.
"You know what happened to Ellie." He paused and didn't speak again for several breaths. "I didn't know you were a midwife."
"What?" It was surprised out of me.
"Your mother said nurse."
Confused, I looked around the porch, then down at my hands, then back at Hutch.
Who shrugged again. "It was many years ago. Maybe you were thinking of becoming a nurse. Maybe someone used the wrong term. Maybe I remembered it wrong. It doesn't matter."
"It does matter," I said quietly. "It must have been a shock."
He stared at me, silhouetted head cocked toward me, then began to pace again. "When you went to attend, and the child was lost – "
Oh, I thought, and wanted to go to him but he was tense against the sunset, every muscle set against me.
"I should have thought how it felt to you. It wasn't my loss."
"It wasn't mine, either," I said, my head down. I looked at my hands in my lap.
From the corner of my eye, I saw him nod. I didn't think he had listened.
"But you saved the mother."
I looked up at him, a rush of horrified understanding. How horrible that must have been for him, another midwife arriving too late and yet in this instance, the mother – someone's wife, a wife like Ellie had been, and this time, she lived.
Now I wanted to cry. I wanted to run. I wanted to have never come here, never met Hutch Longren. My hands went up over my face. I couldn't have stopped them. I had hurt this man, too many times, too badly. There could be no going back. My shoulders shrugged up around me, my head dropped toward my chest. I sank into myself, withdrawing from everything around me.
His steps
crossed the porch fast. His arm went around my shoulder. His hand tilted my head up and brushed my hands away from my face.
"No," he said, shaking his head, his eyes looking deep into mine. "No, Maggie, you don't understand. It's when you saved her I understood that anything could have happened with Ellie. Maybe if the midwife had come early and the baby late, maybe they both would have been lost anyway. Maybe there was no saving her. Maybe nothing could have.”
"I let her go, Maggie. All this time, in this house, with her tea pots, with her curtains. Her house. Her memory."
I waited. I couldn't breathe. My hands tightened convulsively around each other, refusing to let go.
"Whether anything could have changed, whether anything could have been different, it didn't and it wasn't. She's gone and I miss her, but I need to leave her house and garden and the things she held dear. I need a new life."
I was crying now. I couldn't even properly hear him. I didn't know if he was saying goodbye, or hello.
"I need someone to share that life with."
I looked up at him. His blue eyes were serious and looking straight into mine
"Maggie Lucas, will you marry me?"
Chapter 12
The raging heat of July settled into comfortable, hot days of August. Just as a routine had been falling into place, it changed. Now Hutch was working with Matthew, securing a buyer for the mine, which should have been difficult. The silver had stopped flowing in Nevada, Mt. Davidson was, if not finished, at least much less generous. Around us, fortunes that had been made were being lost. Eilley Bowers had been foreclosed on in 1876, ending her reign as one of the richest women in the world. Now, other families were facing defeat. Times were changing, and we were changing along with them.
The buyer for the mine, when discovered, was none other than Jason Seth, who, despite having bought the lien against the Longren house and knowing how close to foreclosure we'd been, still believed there was silver in the Silver Sky mine.
The five of us sat at dinner one night, discussing the pending sale. There were often groups around Ellie Longren's big, well-scrubbed pine table these nights. Matthew frequently brought the Mayor's daughter, Chloe, and the two of them would be lost to the general conversation often as not, all supposedly secret glances and stolen moments. Not that Hutch and I noticed, given our own obsessions. He helped me serve, helped me clear, helped me do anything that meant the two of us were in another room, where we could steal kisses and whispers.