by A. American
So, I patted her ass instead. “And it looks amazing.”
She paused from putting on eyeliner and looked at me in the mirror. “You really think so?”
I stepped up behind her and grabbed her butt. “Oh yeah. You’re hawt,” I said, using the term humorously. Then I leaned over her shoulder and whispered, “You know. Since you’re all dolled up, it’d be a waste to not take full advantage of it. If you know what I mean.”
She was back to putting on her eyeliner and replied, “Oh I know. Go get dressed and we’ll see. Your clothes are hanging in the closet.”
I went out to find a pair of khaki pants, a button-up shirt and a pair of dress shoes. It’d been so long since I’d worn anything like it that I immediately said, nope. I kept the shirt, it was nice enough in the generic way of button-down dress shirts. But instead of the khaki pants, I pulled down a pair of blue jeans. But, pulling them on, I quickly realized they were a no-go. I could pull them down to my knees even when they were zipped up.
So, I pulled out a plastic bag I kept older clothes in. From back when I was skinnier and younger. In there, I found a nice pair of Wranglers. And I stood in the closet laughing when they fit, perfectly, and looked pretty good. I grabbed my cowboy boots, another thing I hadn’t worn in forever, and carried them out to the bedroom. Once I was dressed, which required drilling a new hole in my leather belt, I stepped into the bathroom.
Mel looked at me in the mirror and said, “That’s not what I picked out.”
I held my arms out and made a little pirouette and replied, “I think I look pretty good.”
She turned from the mirror and studied me up and down. After considering me for a minute, she replied, “Not bad. I haven’t seen you in jeans in a long time.”
I slapped her on the ass and said, “You look pretty good too.” Then I gave her a kiss and turned to leave. I smiled when she slapped my ass as I headed out.
The girls were all busy getting dressed when I came into the living room. Little Bit was already dressed and looking adorable. She was in a little white dress, complete with pantyhose. Lord only knows where those came from. She had a little headband on with silk flowers. She was the perfect picture of a little girl about to participate in a wedding.
“You’re really pretty today!” I said to her.
She bounced on the sofa and smiled. “You look really pretty too, dad.” I leaned over and kissed the top of her head.
Meanwhile, the older two were busy arguing in the bathroom. I walked down the hallway and poked my head around the corner. “You two knock it off and get ready.”
“Wow, Dad, you look great,” Lee Ann said.
“Have you seen Mom?” Taylor asked. “She looks amazing.”
“Yes, I have,” I replied. “And yes, she does.”
“We’re almost ready,” Lee Ann said.
“If you’ll get out of my way!” Taylor shouted.
Lee Ann rolled her eyes and stepped out the door. “There, now you can finish.”
I put my arm around her and said, “You look good, kiddo. I haven’t seen you in a dress in a long time.”
Lee Ann looked down at herself and said, “Yeah. Well, as soon as this is over, I’m taking it off.”
I went out to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of tea, then went out to the living room and sat down with Little Bit. She was holding a basket full of flowers and practically vibrating with excitement.
“You ready to do this?” I asked. I wasn’t involved in all the planning, but I’d picked up on what was going to happen today. Little Bit was going to be the flower girl as both brides walked down the aisle¸ for lack of a better word. Jace was going to be the ring bearer. But he was only going to carry the brides’ rings, as the guys didn’t have rings. Not that it was that big a deal.
Mel came out of the bedroom and announced, “Alright, everyone, let’s go.”
Taylor came out of the bathroom, still brushing her hair. “Give me a minute.”
“Hurry up,” Mel replied. “We need to go.”
Once she finished brushing her hair, we were ready to go. I had everyone gather in the living room. My family looked really amazing. After so long of not seeing anyone dressed up, it was incredible to see them all decked out and ready to go.
“I wish I had a camera,” I said. “You all look so good.”
Mel looked at the girls and said, “One thing we didn’t prepare for. Family photos after the apocalypse.”
“Alright,” I said, “let’s get this show on the road.”
We walked over to Danny’s house and could hear voices out back. The back porch was crowded with people. Thad was dressed in a suit and I had to do a double-take.
“Where in the hell did you find a suit to fit you?” I asked in amazement.
He held his arms out and said, “It wasn’t easy and Miss Kay had to make some adjustments. But it fits.”
“You look amazing,” Mel said, and she stepped up on her tip toes to kiss him on the cheek.
Thad blushed and smiled. “Thank you, Mel.”
I shook his hand and patted his shoulder. “Looking good, buddy.” He smiled and nodded.
Aric was sitting in a chair against the wall. He was leaned forward on his knees as they bounced rapidly up and down. I walked over to him and he looked up. “Nervous much?” I asked with a smile.
He sat up and bit his thumbnail. “Kinda.”
I laughed and patted his shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, buddy. You got this?”
He smiled nervously. “Yeah.”
The ladies were all inside and much chatter leaked through the door to the house. I was informed no men were allowed inside. I looked around the porch and saw Ian and Jamie sitting on a chase lounge on the far end of the porch. Perez was in a chair beside them.
“Where’s Sarge and guys?” I asked.
“They’ll be here soon,” Ian said.
“Anyone seen Dalton?” I asked.
All I got in reply was blank stares. I shrugged. “Maybe he’ll show up.”
I heard a truck roll up out front and walked around the porch to check it out. Sarge’s Hummer was idling in the yard. When the door opened, I was surprised when Mitch stepped out.
“Mitch!” I called out. “Hey, man, great to see you,” I said as I stepped down off the porch. Then Cecil got out, dressed in a suit no less. It was such a shock to see these guys dressed like they were. When Michelle got out, she looked amazing as well. I greeted each of them and hugged Michelle.
Then the old man got out and I nearly passed out. He was in a suit as well, tie and all. As soon as our eyes met, he pointed at me and said, “Say one fucking word and I’ll break your legs.”
I blinked and shook my head. “Uh, no. You look really sharp. I genuinely mean that.”
Then Ted, Mike and Doc piled out of the back of the truck. Ted and Doc were both likewise decked out in a nice suit. It made me scratch my head. Where in the hell did all these suits come from? I wondered. Then I took a second look at Mike. He was wearing a jacket. But it was over a pair of Multi-Cam pants and combat boots. I had to shake my head and laugh.
Mike looked at me and asked, “What?”
Still shaking my head, I replied, “Nothing. You look exactly like I’d expect.”
Mike grabbed the lapels of the coat and looked himself over. “I think I look pretty sexy myself.”
“You look like some kind of retard that dressed himself,” Sarge shot back.
“Nailed it,” Ted added.
Mike smoothed the coat and said, “Y’all are just haters.” And he headed for the steps up to the house.
We all filed up onto the porch. Sarge opened the door and started to go in. Mike went to follow him, but the old man stopped and pushed him back, “Nope,” he said
as he slammed the door in Mike’s face.
“What the hell?” Mike asked.
“No guys in the house,” I replied.
Mike pointed at the door and asked, “What the hell’s he doing in there then?”
I shrugged. “He’s giving them away. Guess they’re working out how that’s going to happen.”
Ted grabbed Mike by the shoulders and said, “Come on. Let’s go out back and I’ll get you some juice and cookies. And we can put your helmet on before you hurt yourself.”
Mike shrugged him off and replied, “I’ll stick my helmet up your ass.”
Mitch and Michelle went into the house as well while the rest of us waited on the back porch. We were doing this early, trying to beat the heat. We were sitting on the back porch shooting the shit when the old man came out and said everyone needed to go out and grab a seat. Mel and the girls came out, along with Jess and Kay. We all made our way out to the back of the pond. But I saw Mike dip out and head around the house. I really hope he’s not up to anything nefarious.
Mitch was standing in front of everyone, a huge smile on his face. I looked at him and asked, “What are you doing?”
He smoothed his coat and said, “I’m performing the ceremony.”
“Where the hell did you figure out how to do that?”
“I have the analog internet.”
“What’s analog internet?” Lee Ann asked with a hint of excitement in her voice.
“Encyclopedias,” Mitch replied.
I laughed. “That’s a hell of an idea. Having a set of them.”
“We’ve had them for many years,” Michelle said. “I used them when I was a kid and took them when we got married.”
“Awesome idea,” I replied. I looked over my shoulder at Lee Ann and said, “Sorry, kiddo. Not what you were expecting, I know.”
Thad and Aric walked up and stood in front of Mitch. He shook both their hands. There were a couple cat-calls from the crowd, which got a smile from Thad and nods from Aric. Suddenly, we began to hear a guitar and everyone looked back.
Sarge was heading towards the pond, Fred on one arm and Mary on the other. Behind them was Mike, like a strolling troubadour, except, thankfully, he wasn’t singing. But he quietly strummed something like the wedding march as he followed the brides towards their grooms. Little Bit led them as she dropped handfuls of azalea blooms onto the ground.
The crowd fell silent as they made their way towards where Mitch waited for them. It was quite the sight to see the old man in a suit with Mary and Fred on either arm. Each wore a beautiful dress, and I glanced at Mel and saw her wiping tears away at seeing her wedding dress again. The three made their way up the small aisle created by the arrangement of chairs. Fred and Mary were both smiles as they made their way to the front.
I caught Danny’s eye. He was watching Mary. She wore Bobbie’s wedding dress and I’m sure a lot was running through his mind. But he had a slight smile on his face. Bobbie may not be here physically, but she certainly was in spirit.
Mike stepped off to the side and kept the chords going on the guitar as everyone got into the position. Sarge hugged and kissed each of them before stepping back and clasping his hands behind behind his back. Mitch whispered a couple of things as Mary took Thad’s hand and Fred took Aric’s. Then Mitch nodded and cleared his throat.
”Friends, we are gathered here today to join these two couples in holy matrimony in the eyes of God and their community. Who gives these women today?”
Sarge held his hand up, “I do,” then he looked at Thad and Aric and added, “and they better take damn good care of them.” A little laugh spread through the crowd.
Mitch looked at Thad and asked, “Thad, do you have any vows prepared?”
Thad nodded and Mitch motioned for him to continue. Thad brought Mary’s hands up before him and said, “I never thought I’d find happiness again. I was in a deep and dark place. Then you brought the light back to my life. I promise you before everyone here, I will protect and provide for you. I love and laugh with you and together, we will help strengthen our community.”
Mitch nodded at Mary and she flushed. Very nervously she started. “I’ve watched you for a long time, Thad. You are a good man, noble, honorable and strong. I’ve thought of this day for a very long time. Like you, I was in a dark place and you thought I was the light. But you were mine. I promise to love you, to provide for you and to be by your side until the day I die.”
Everyone was getting teary-eyed. The words they offered one another expressed exactly how everyone sitting here felt for one another. This marked a change in our lives. No longer were we simply trying to exist. It was the first step, the first real step, to making our world anew. Not to what it once was, but maybe, what it always should have been.
“Thad, do you have a ring?” Mitch asked.
Jess ushered little Jace up the aisle. He had a small pillow with a ring on it. Thad knelt down and took the ring from the grinning boy, patted his head and stood up.
“Thad, do you take Mary to be your wedded wife?”
“I do,” Thad replied with a smile.
Then repeat after me,” Mitch said. “With this ring, I thee wed.”
Thad took Mary’s small and delicate hand into his massive strong hand. Positioning the ring in front of her finger, he looked into her eyes and said, “With this ring, I thee wed.” And he slipped the ring on her finger. Tears rolled down her cheeks as he slid the band on.
Mitch leaned in close to the couple and asked, “Do you have a ring for Thad?”
Thad shook his head. “No. But that’s alright.”
Suddenly, from the woods behind us, came a thundering voice. “And one ring shall rule them all!”
Everyone looked up to see Dalton come strolling out of the woods. He was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. I had to do a double-take. Then another. I’d never seen him in anything other than what most of wear on a daily basis. He walked towards the brides and grooms as everyone stared at him.
He walked up to Thad and gripped his shoulder. “I know I haven’t been here long. But I consider you all family. And it’s just not right for you not to have a ring on your wedding day. Dalton reached out and took Mary’s hand. He pushed his clenched fist into her hand, leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, saying, “Congratulations.” Then he opened his hand and dropped a simple gold band into her hand.
She looked at it and began to cry, then looked up at Dalton and reached out to hug him. He had to lean over so she could. She thanked him, over and over. Then Thad hugged him too. Dalton patted his back and congratulated him as well. Then he stepped out of the way.
Mitch looked at Mary and asked, “Mary, do you take Thad to be your wedded husband?”
“I do,” she replied.
Mitch smiled and said, “Mary, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.”
Mary smiled as she held Thad’s big hand. As she slid the band on, she excitedly shouted, “It fits!” We all laughed and she blushed as she looked at Mitch, then back at Thad. “With this ring, I thee wed.” A round of claps erupted from the crowd and the couple stood before us, smiling and holding one another close.
Mitch took half a step forward and said, “We’re only half-way done!” And once everyone settled down, he stepped up to Aric and Fred.
Mitch looked at Aric, then Fred. “Have you prepared any vows?”
Aric shook his head. “No. I love her with all I am and ever will be.”
“And I love him with all I am and ever will be,” Fred replied.
Kay ushered little Jace back up with Fred’s ring on the pillow. Aric knelt down and took it from the smiling boy, tussled his hair and stood back.
“Aric, do you take Fred to be your wedded wife?” Mitch asked.
“I do.”
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“Fred, do you take Mitch to be your wedded husband?”
“I do,” she replied.
Mitch then turned to Aric and said, “Repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.”
Aric repeated the verse and slipped the ring onto Fred’s finger. She wiped a tear away as she held her hand up to look at it. It was the same ring she’d been wearing since the announcement. But, now it meant more. Dalton stepped up and pushed another gold band into Fred’s hand. The tears flowed from her when she looked at the simple gold ring and she reached up and hugged him.
Mitch gave her a minute and said, “Alright, Fred, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.” And she slid the ring onto Aric’s finger.
He looked at it and asked, “How did you size these? It fits perfectly.”
Dalton smiled. “I pay attention to detail.”
Mitch addressed the crowd. “Alright, everyone. If there are no objections—”
I’d been waiting for this moment and stood up. To Mel’s obvious shock and horror as she grabbed my hand.
“I wasn’t going to say anything. But now that you mention it—” I trailed off, not intending to say anything. But everyone was collectively holding their breath.
Sarge cut his chin over his shoulder and said, “Shut up and sit-down, Morgan.”
I laughed, and it broke the tension. When I sat down, Mel asked, “What the hell was that?”
Patting her hand, I replied, “Just having a little fun. It’ll be a story for them to tell later.”
Mitch stepped forward, putting his arms around the two couples, and moving them with him, he announced, “By the power vested in me by, well, you guys, I now pronounce you husbands and wives!”
A collective cheer erupted as everyone leapt to their feet, clapping and whistling. I noticed Mike took off at a sprint and disappeared. A procession line of sorts formed as everyone made their way by the newlyweds to shake hands and offer hugs. When I got to Thad, he pointed at me, shaking his head, “You a mess, Morgan. You a mess.”