FrankenDom

  Jesus, I’ve missed you so much. I love you, Rachel.

  The words came back to me as if he were radioing them directly into my brain, and I whimpered. At Bangenschloss, Colin had been my lover, my companion, and I’d been devastatingly lonely without him. Was that how he’d felt about me? Somehow I’d thought that still having Julian would be an acceptable consolation—or more than I had, anyway. I had neither of them. I’d made the sacrifice so that they’d still have each other. What right did Colin have to be angry?

  I’ve missed you so much.

  Oh God, had he really missed me that much? I’d sort of assumed he mostly just missed using his cock on someone else.

  You went all subbie and hot the very first time you saw him. I know because I was standing right there watching your face. I wasn’t even a blip on your radar. You didn’t even notice I was alive.

  My stomach went painfully hollow. Why had he been watching my face? It hadn’t even occurred to me to wonder when he said it. I was a brand new resident, timid and insecure and anxious to please everyone, and Colin pleased no one but himself back then. Why would he have cared how I felt about him?

  I’m his to do with whatever he pleases, and it’s made me a better man—and believe it or not, a better Dom—than I ever thought I could be.

  He was a Dom, wasn’t he? He’d been one from the beginning, or at least felt the urge to be one. He’d tied up girls and wanted to tie me up. Had he gone all hot and dominant for me right away and I just hadn’t seen it, hadn’t responded to it?

  I wanted to be reserved for you. I love you, Rachel.

  Chills rose on my skin and I started to tremble. I’d always thought Colin had some hidden agenda when he was with me, and in Montaneva I’d decided it was getting me together with Julian.

  But what if it wasn’t? What if Colin’s whole agenda all along was becoming my Dom?

  The minute I thought it, I knew it was true. Colin had been in love with me long before I ever thought about wanting him. He’d loved me even before he loved Julian, and wanted to be better for me. Wanted to be worthy of me. He’d waited and worked for me all those years, and he’d been thrilled to have me back.

  And I’d left him.

  Tears burned in my eyes, and then I started to sob. I’d was so wrapped up in what I was doing to Julian, it hadn’t even occurred to me to wonder what Colin might be suffering. Oh God, how could I have been so blind? Colin was the love of my life, and apparently I was the love of his. And I’d just…given up on it.

  Suddenly I realized it was getting hard to breathe. Oh crap, my nose was stopping up and I had a penis in my mouth. I needed to stop crying, stat.

  A hand reached down and unzipped the lower part of my hood, releasing the gag. “You’re okay, sweetheart—just take a few deep breaths.”

  Colin rubbed my back and I burst into tears again.

  “Colin,” I sobbed, shaking in my restraints. “I love you so much, and I was so blind. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because you needed to see it on your own. You needed to see me. And did you?”

  I nodded emphatically. “Yes, Sir.”

  Kneeling at my side, he tipped my chin up.

  When he pressed his mouth to mine, I sobbed even harder and tried to pull away. “I’m all snotty!”

  “I don’t care.” He kissed me again with his mouth open, sucking on my upper lip. “Everything about you is mine now, Rachel Anne. Even your snot.”

  A choked laugh escaped me. “You never did have any limits, did you?”

  Colin didn’t smile. “None, where you were concerned. I craved every particle of you from the first time I saw your sweet smile. I wanted to hold you, own you…absorb you through my very pores. I needed to be the one who made you tense with submissive wariness whenever I was in the vicinity. But you wanted nothing to do with me.”

  Sniffling, I cringed. “I’m sorry!”

  “You should be.”

  “Well you have to admit you acted like kind of…”

  “An assmunch?”

  “Yes! You even said as much.”

  “That didn’t make me crave you any less. And I don’t think I was acting like an assmunch when you left me in Montaneva.”

  “I wasn’t leaving you,” I started. Annoyed by the leather obstructing my vision, I shook my head around. “Would you please take this damn hood off and let me out of here so I can see to talk to you?”

  “I don’t think so,” he said flatly. “And excuse me, but you did leave me. You packed your shit and walked out without even talking to me.”

  “I talked to you! You’re the one who didn’t talk to me.”

  “Because Julian wouldn’t let me, or believe me, I’d have had a few things to say about your letting Dirk and Vince top you. I sure as hell had a few things to say to them after you left.”

  Blinking hard, I froze. “Really?”

  A hard slap landed on my butt and I squeaked.

  “God dammit, Rachel, yes, really! You’re mine!” he roared.

  “I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” I shouted back at him.

  He took a deep breath and then said in an eerily calm tone, “You will after we’re done here today.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Well he certainly made me tense with submissive wariness now. “What do you mean?”

  He stood up and walked away.

  “Colin, talk to me, please,” I begged.

  “Settle down, I’ll be right back.”

  That was enough to calm me for the moment. I took a few deep, shuddering breaths and tried to relax. Colin loved me, and he’d loved me for years. He wouldn’t hurt me too badly…would he?

  Though he certainly had pinned my wrists so that Julian could beat my butt until it was bruised. And he’d caned Julian black and blue.

  A fine tremor passed through my bones. Now that I knew he was my Dom, Colin was suddenly an enigma to me, an unknown quantity, and it threw me off balance. I loved it, and I hated it. He was safety and danger all rolled into one gorgeous, frightening package.

  And Jordan though he was FrankenDom’s monster.

  “Well if that isn’t a sight for sore eyes.”

  I twitched. Julian was here. And he was looking at my stuffed rear end.

  “I thought you weren’t coming home until this evening, Sir.” Then I remembered he wasn’t my Sir anymore. “I mean Julian.”

  “Sir is fine, Rachel,” Colin said. “Now that you and I have sorted out who your owner is, you may address all Doms as Sir if I’ve given you permission to speak to them.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “And Julian’s home because things came to a head between us a lot sooner than I expected and I wanted him to be here to protect both of us.” The buckle at the back of my neck was unhooked and he started unlacing the hood.

  “What do you mean, to protect us both?”

  “I mean, you need to be punished for letting Dirk and Vince top you, but I’m so angry, I’m afraid I’ll go too far. He’s here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

  The breath rushed out of me. How could I feel better and yet more frightened at the same time?

  Colin squatted in front of me, looking serious but not furious as he took off my mitts. “Rachel, I’ve got all the implements that they used on you and I know exactly how many you took from each. Julian and I discussed it, and I’ve decided to give you a choice. You can take everything they gave you times two, only I’ll probably hit you quite a bit harder with everything except the canes. Or you can take a simple caning. Fifty strokes from the rattan and ten from the Delrin, plus a warm-up.”

  My mouth fell open. Fifty?

  Oh. Crap.

  My mind worked feverishly, trying to remember how many strokes I’d taken altogether, but it was no use. I was a wreck when I let them top me. All I remembered was that I’d taken eight from the Delrin. Ten was only two more than that. Surely I could take that. But fifty?

  Then I frowned. “Wait, warm-up? What kind of
warm-up?”

  “A bare-handed spanking. Without it, the caning will be a lot harder to handle, Miss Tenderbottom.”

  Oh God, now I was really scared.

  Colin took my face in his hands. “Rachel, look at me.” When I did, he said, “Not a punishment spanking, like the one you got from Julian—just a warm-up, something to build on. It’s like exercising—if you do it without warming up, you’re more likely to perform poorly and get hurt.”

  Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Okay. Caning, Sir.”

  “Good girl.” Dropping to one knee, he wrapped a hand behind my head and gave me a Colin-kiss, long and involved and emotional. I was a quivering mess by the time he pulled away.

  “I’m sorry, Sir,” I said unsteadily. “I shouldn’t have let them top me and I think I knew it. You’re right to punish me. I’ll feel better. Eventually.”

  He grinned. “There’s my girl. And yes, you will feel better. We both will.”

  “And you’ll forgive me?”

  “If you’ll forgive me.”

  “Always, Sir.”

  “Then let’s get to it.”

  When Colin moved away, Julian sat down in the chair in front of me, wearing jeans and a dark gray tee shirt. “Hello, beautifully bound slave.”

  “Hello, Sir.”

  “It feels better like this, doesn’t it?” he asked. When I looked at him quizzically, he said, “Colin being mine and your being his. There was something not quite right about having to divide my attention between the two of you. I couldn’t do either of you justice that way.”

  “I think you’re right, Sir.” I swallowed and said, “Thank you for saving him for me.”

  He leaned down and kissed me. “It was my pleasure, little slave.”

  When Colin removed the dildo and tail, I was surprised to feel too empty, and even more vulnerable. As if they would have been any protection at all.

  “All right, Rachel. Time to warm up.”

  “I’m ready, Sir.”

  He started out lightly enough that I was almost impatient. I thought he must have been kneeling behind me, using both hands all over both cheeks until they started to feel warm, and then hot—and I started to feel hot, too. I wouldn’t mind if he did this all day.

  Of course, the minute I thought that, he stopped and stood up.

  “Okay, now the rattan,” he said, laying a hand on my low back. “I’m going to start lighter and faster, in bursts of five strokes, so they’re easier to take. The last ten will be the hardest, and I’ll give you more time to process them, all right?”

  I took a shuddering breath. “All right, Sir.”

  The first five taps scattered over my left cheek made me hiss. They weren’t as bad as even the first one Dirk had given me on the front of my thigh. The second five on my right were about the same, and I relaxed a bit while he rubbed both sides. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I remembered.

  The third five and the fourth made me whimper and writhe, especially after the pain had time to blossom and mature. “Ow, ow, ow!”

  “Almost halfway there, Rachel,” Colin said, rubbing my cheeks again.

  “Yay,” I said in a tremulous voice.

  Julian smiled and stroked a tendril of hair away from my face.

  “I’m going to move to the other side to change my angle so I don’t keep hitting the same spots, Rachel,” Colin warned me. “No more bursts. You’ll need time to process these.”

  Frightened, I nodded. From there on, I flinched and hummed after every stroke, keeping my eyes closed and trying to let the pain go through me instead of trying to stop it. By the time he reached forty, I was straining against my cuffs and collar, sobbing quietly, but I’d managed to keep from screaming. Colin’s hand on my hot, swollen flesh was almost more than I could take, and I cried out, “Sir, please!”

  “Shh,” he said, rubbing. “It’s almost done, Rachel. Your ass looks amazing. I think you’ll be very pleased.”

  My sobs ebbed and I opened my eyes with a frown. Why in God’s name did that make me feel excited?

  “Badges of courage,” Julian told me.

  “I don’t feel very courageous, Sir,” I mumbled wryly, “but I’ll take it.”

  “Last set,” Colin warned. “Don’t try to hold back, Rachel. You need to let it go this time. Nothing you say will be grounds for punishment or hurt feelings. If you need to scream you hate me and want to rip my balls off, do it. Whatever you have to do to get through. Got it?”

  Oh God. “Got it, Sir.”

  Molten fire streaked across both sides of my butt at once and I jerked hard in my restraints, growling through my teeth, “Son of a bitch!”

  My language went downhill from there, and I probably ground quite a bit of enamel off my teeth, but I made it through without screaming—and Julian was covering his mouth with his hand and trying not to laugh.

  Colin felt no such compunction. “I knew there was a seasoned sailor in there somewhere,” he chuckled, touching my twitching, flaming flesh again.

  “Hands off my ass!” I ground out.

  He started rubbing with both hands. “I don’t think so, slave. In fact, I think I’ll leave off the Delrin and get right to fucking this beautiful ass. What do you think, Sir?”

  Startled, I looked at Julian and he raised his brows at me. “What do you think, slave?”

  I knew I’d probably kick my own ass for this later, but I said, “No, Sir. I want the last ten.”

  After a long pause, Colin said, “Rachel, I’ve forgiven you. There’s no need to go any further.”

  “I disagree, Sir. You deemed fifty and ten a suitable punishment and if I don’t get them, I’ll feel like I still owe them. I don’t want them hanging over my head.”

  He rubbed circled on my cheeks. “If I give you the last ten, I probably won’t feel right fucking your ass.”

  “I’ll have no problem fucking yours, though,” Julian drawled.

  “That,” I said immediately. “I want to see that, Sir. Please.”

  He sighed. “Rachel, I—”

  “I had a one-night stand on my dive trip.”

  Colin gave a bark of laughter. “All right, my slave. I already knew that, but you’ve just convinced me you do need the last ten.”

  “Yay.” Wait, why the hell was I cheering? I was going to get ten strokes from the horrible, mean cane across my already blistered butt. And how did he already know that?

  “Prepare yourself, Rachel—the eight you took from Dirk were on relatively unmarked flesh. This time your ass looks like a checkerboard. These are going to bruise you, and it’ll hurt like hell, so I’m not going to drag it out. You were still holding back on the last ten, but don’t do it this time. Let it fly.”

  It was all over in twenty seconds, but it was the longest, most intensely painful twenty seconds of my life. I started screaming and crying and trying to get away, and I didn’t stop even after they’d released me from the stockade and Colin had taken me in his arms. He kissed streaming my eyes and my open mouth while I held my butt, writhing and howling like an animal caught in a bear trap.

  “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he murmured. “You are so good, Rachel, so beautiful.”

  “Make it stop,” I sobbed.

  “Soon,” he promised.

  As promised, soon cool cloths were laid over my traumatized tush, pulling out some of the pain along with the heat, and I fell into another world.

  * * * * *

  I had one of those cognitive leap dreams, where you think you suddenly understand some complex idea normally beyond your reach, like the molecular structure of peanut butter or how your car’s engine really works. But then when you wake up, it all slips away.

  When I awoke, I was startled to find myself in my bed from Bangenschloss. It was dark except for the dim bedside lamp and I realized I must have been out for hours. I mean truly out—there was a wet spot on the sheet where I’d drooled.

  “Pretty,” I muttered, rolling to my side. I winced when I
sat up. My butt still felt like it was twice its normal size but the pain wasn’t too bad.

  The bathroom wasn’t as opulent as my bath at Bangenschloss, but it had double sinks and a whirlpool tub big enough for two people. After using the toilet and washing my face and hands, I used the hairbrush on the counter make myself halfway presentable and then went looking for something to put on.

  Then I remembered slaves didn’t have clothes and sighed. Guess I’d have to wander the house naked. If Colin planned on this being a permanent state of affairs when we were home, I was going to have to negotiate a robe or something to leave downstairs in case I had to answer the door.

  The upstairs was quiet and seemed to be deserted. I looked around the main floor and found no one. Had they gone out? Surely not. Colin wouldn’t leave me zonked out after a scene, and neither would Julian.

  I found the basement door open and started down the carpeted steps. About halfway down I heard a rhythmic sound and stopped to listen to what sounded like throaty masculine humming. And was that a flogger slapping flesh? It was awfully fast, but that’s what it sounded like.

  Biting my lip, I continued down far enough to peer around the corner. The lights in the workout room were off, but dungeon door was halfway open and inside I could see Colin cuffed naked to the cross, his head hanging forward limply. Hidden by the door, someone—I assumed Julian—was beating his shoulders and upper back with two long-tailed floggers in a smooth, even rhythm.

  Now I recognized Colin’s rumbles of appreciation, and my mouth hung open as lust blazed a trail from my eyes to my suddenly wet pussy. God, he was so beautiful.

  Then it hit me—was it Julian flogging him? Colin had said Julian never hit him again after the day everything went to hell five years ago.

  My breath came faster and faster as I crept toward the door. Part of me felt like I shouldn’t intrude on their privacy, but they knew I was here and they had left the door open. And it wasn’t as if Colin were shy about anything, especially being watched during scenes. He loved being watched.