by Jane Godman
“I’m starting to think I died in that fire and this might be heaven.” She turned to look at Torque. “You do know I may never leave?”
“You haven’t started on that paperwork yet.” Although he kept his voice light, the thought of Hollie staying in his life sounded just fine to Torque. If they could close the door on the rest of the world for eternity, that would be okay with him. He had grown used to her company with frightening speed. And if he could shut out everything else, he would be able to keep her safe from the person who had started that fire, from anything that might harm her. It was so damn hard. He would go to the ends of the earth for this woman...but he couldn’t tell her that.
Ever since the conversation in his garden when Hollie had confessed to wanting him and he had turned her down—like an idiot—they had been tiptoeing around the subject. The attraction between them burned brighter with every passing minute. They were just doing their best to ignore it. Which was somehow making the whole situation even more tense.
Torque felt like he was living in a constant state of arousal. He was intoxicated by Hollie, drinking her in until his senses were filled with her. Unable to concentrate on anything else, he was barely aware of the practicalities of the forthcoming tour. Much to the annoyance of his manager.
“I have to go out in about an hour to a rehearsal.” He grimaced. “Ged isn’t happy. He thinks we haven’t spent enough time together before we hit the road.”
They headed back down the stairs into the open-plan living space. Although this place was incredible, it never quite felt like home to Torque. He had given a designer free rein with the decor, and the end result was stunning. The white and chrome furnishings were comfortable as well as classy, with everything chosen to make the most of the views. Even so, it had always been just a place to stay. He had only ever had one home. The mountains of Scotland had been forged in fire around the same time that the Cumhachdach dragon clan was born. Now the closest thing he had to a home was the house in Maine.
“How important is it to rehearse? Don’t you already know your songs and each other really well?” Hollie asked.
“We do, but we have other people onstage with us. Backing musicians and singers, some dancers. And our special effects are always evolving.”
“Nothing will ever beat the display you put on a few years ago in Marseilles.” Her eyes shone with excitement. “The one where it looked like wolves stormed the stage.”
“You liked that?” Although Torque smiled at her enthusiasm, he remained wary. The band had done its best to cover up what had happened in Marseilles. In reality, there had been a genuine werewolf strike during one of their concerts. The band had all shifted in response and fought off the attackers. Caught on film, they had been forced to pass the whole thing off as one of the greatest special effects displays ever. They had succeeded, but they were constantly trying to cover up the reality.
“Liked it? It was incredible. I only wish I’d been there to see it in person. The atmosphere must have been amazing.”
“You could say that.” He decided a quick change of subject was in order. “Anyway, this week will be intense. It’s always hard work just prior to the start of a tour, but Ged is right. He always is. The rehearsals are necessary.”
Her gaze scanned his face. She was getting good at reading him. Just not too good, he hoped. There were many hundreds of years of secrets he didn’t want to reveal. “I’d always wondered what made Ged so important, but when you speak about him, I can see it. It goes deeper than affection, doesn’t it?”
It was a scarily perceptive comment. Ged was the glue that held Beast together, but he was so much more. He was the reason they existed. Each member of the band owed his life to the giant bear-shifter. “Yeah. Ged is a good guy.” Such an understatement.
Hollie shook her head. “Do you ever stop being enigmatic?”
He laughed. “Only long enough to get coffee. But first, let me show you to your room.”
There were four bedrooms, each with its own dressing room and bathroom. Hollie held up a small gym bag. “How will I ever fit all my stuff in?”
“We have to get you some new clothes.”
“Torque...” She groaned. “That was not my way of trying to get you to purchase me some expensive new things. You’ve given me a job. I can buy my own clothes.”
“That reminds me, we didn’t discuss your salary. And I should probably see about giving you an advance—”
She dropped her bag and marched toward him. Reaching up, she placed a hand over his mouth. The action started out as a joke, but it violated their unspoken “no contact” rule. As soon as her fingers touched his lips, heat blazed from the point of contact through every part of his body. He saw Hollie’s eyes widen and knew she was feeling it, too. So much more than attraction. It was their own firestorm and they were helpless against its power.
And...he wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but his hands appeared to have developed a life of their own. His intention had been to move her gently but firmly away. Instead, his unruly body disobeyed him as he gripped her waist and pulled her closer. Now what was he supposed to do? With her parted lips so achingly close, there seemed to be only one solution to his dilemma.
As Hollie swayed closer, the temptation to kiss her grew into a necessity. Every reason why this was a bad idea had just flown out of his head when they were interrupted by a buzzing noise.
Hollie blinked as though she had been roused from a trance. “What was that?”
“It’s the concierge. I’m expecting a delivery.”
She sighed, resting her forehead briefly against his chest. “Then I guess you have to go.” The disappointment in her voice almost undid his resolve.
“Come with me.” He took her hand. “This is for you.”
Hollie quirked an inquiring brow in his direction, but followed him without comment. When he opened the door, the uniformed concierge handed Torque a small package. Once he had tipped the doorman and closed the door again, he gave the box to Hollie.
“It’s a cell phone.”
She turned the carton over in her hands. Her expression was hard to read, but Torque was caught up in that swirl of conflicting emotions coming from her once again. She was feeling regret and sorrow. Why, Hollie? What’s bothering you?
“You are such a good man.” When she raised her eyes to his, he caught a glimpse of tears before she blinked them away.
“Tell me.” The words were out before he knew he was going to say them.
“Pardon?” He knew she’d heard him.
He shrugged the question aside. Now was not the best time. “Nothing. You need a way to keep in touch with your overprotective friend.”
“If she’s taking calls.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and pressed her lips to his cheek. “Thank you, Torque.”
To hell with restraint. Her warm, soft mouth felt perfect on his skin, and just for a moment, he let it happen. Allowed himself that one, tiny indulgence.
“While I’m out you can try and contact her.” He grabbed his jacket, turning back as he reached the door. “Be careful.”
Her brow wrinkled. “About calling my friend?”
“Until Kirk gets in touch to say the guy who set fire to the bar has been caught, you need to be careful about everything.”
She looked sweet and vulnerable—and so incredibly beautiful—that it took every ounce of self-control he possessed to walk out the door.
Chapter 5
Hollie took the new cell phone through to her bedroom. Her feet felt heavy, the sensation slowing her down, and she kicked off her shoes in an attempt to make herself comfortable. It didn’t work. Her discomfort wasn’t physical. Torque had been so generous, and asked nothing in return, not even an explanation. She hated taking advantage of his kindness. Sometimes she wondered if she should just tell him everything, but even though they
had grown closer, there were still those nagging doubts attached to him. She was as sure as she could be that he wasn’t the person who had tried to kill her, but there was still a mystery surrounding the night of the Pleasant Bay Bar fire. No matter how many different ways she looked at it, no matter how many explanations he gave about timing, Torque should not have been able to walk through those flames.
If she was honest, she’d admit there was another reason for her reluctance to tell him the truth. Once Torque knew she had deceived him, things wouldn’t be the same between them. It was unlikely they could continue the way they were. When she examined her motives, this was the strongest. She didn’t want to leave Torque and this enjoyable bubble in which they were living. It was that simple.
She wondered if he was aware of the Incinerator’s activities. The arsonist had received some press attention, but because the attacks were geographically so far apart, there hadn’t been the same sensationalism as if he was operating within a smaller area. And McLain had done a good job of keeping the details out of the public eye.
The thought of the chief made Hollie eager to call her. Surely by now McLain would be back in her office and everything would be right with the world? They would clear up the issue about Vince King and Hollie would persuade her boss that sticking with Torque was a good idea. If that didn’t happen? She frowned. It had to happen. She wasn’t giving up on this now. As she set up the new cell phone, she tried to analyze what this was. Was it still the Incinerator investigation? Or was it something new, something to do with the unbreakable ties that bound her to Torque? By the time she had completed the setup process, she still hadn’t decided.
When she tried McLain’s number, her hands were shaking. Because she already knew what the outcome would be. Sure enough, she got the same voice mail message as last time. Bowing her head, she took a few deep breaths.
Okay. There were other ways to contact McLain. Trying the field office, she got through to the main telephone operator. “I’d like to speak to Assistant Special Agent-in-Charge McLain, please.”
“I’m sorry, the ASAC isn’t here right now. We’re not sure when she’ll be back...”
Something was very wrong. Hollie had already known that, but now she was unable to push aside the feeling of doom. Calling the service provider for the new cell, she explained that she wanted ID blocking enabled on her account. When that was in place, she called Dalton.
“Hollie, where the hell are you? And why are you withholding your number?”
“I don’t have much time.” She used the excuse as a way of not answering his questions. “What’s going on with McLain?”
“No one knows. She seems to have vanished. It’s crazy here right now. But, Hols, there’s something else... I don’t know how to tell you this...”
She could hear the distress in his voice and it triggered answering prickles of dread along her spine. “Just say it, Dalton.”
“Your apartment building burned down yesterday.”
She sat down abruptly on the bed, closing her eyes as the room began to spin. “Was it the Incinerator?”
“It’s too soon to say, but it’s looking that way.”
A wave of nausea washed over her. She wanted to run to Torque, to cling to him and be comforted. But she couldn’t. Partly because he wasn’t there, but also because to him she was Hollie Brown...and Hollie Brown didn’t have an apartment. All those precious things the Incinerator had destroyed? The books, photographs and mementos? They belonged to Hollie Brennan, FBI agent, and Torque had never met her.
Her thoughts skittered around wildly. The attack on the Pleasant Bay Bar had been personal. That was bad enough. But this latest fire meant the Incinerator knew her real identity...
“Are you still there?” The sympathy in Dalton’s voice made the lump in her throat swell until it felt like she was choking. “I’m sorry, Hols. Some things shouldn’t be done over the phone.”
“Can’t be helped when I’m on the road.” Her voice was gruff as she fought back the tears. On the road. Careful, Hollie. She didn’t think Dalton could pick up on where she was and what she was doing from those words, but it showed how easy it was to slip up.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you need to come in. Let us keep you safe.”
She could hear the concern in his voice. It wasn’t just because he was a colleague. He still cared and this had shaken him up.
He was talking sense. Dalton was what she knew. Okay, so she didn’t love him, but he represented the real world. Her world. For some reason, the Incinerator had switched his attention to Hollie and she needed protection. She shouldn’t hesitate on this. There was no way she should be considering staying with Torque. Ever since she had started this job, her head and her heart had been at war. Her head was trying to convince her to give it up, while her heart prompted her to stay with Torque. Now things had gotten a whole lot scarier.
She should do what Dalton was suggesting. Let the might and resources of the FBI protect her. She should go home...except the place she had called home no longer existed. And the nearest thing she had to it now was the man who had walked through flames for her.
She guessed her choices were that stark. Dalton and the FBI represented her head. They were security and reason. Torque? He was fire and magic. He was her heart.
Hollie had never believed in gut reactions. Her response to those who did was always with facts. Data, figures, science, proof...they were the things that mattered to her. Now her world had been tipped on its head. Her instincts were telling her, loud and clear, that she needed to stay with Torque. It was a primal warning, coming from somewhere deep within her. If she left his side, she was doomed.
“Got to go, Dalton. I’ll call you soon.” She heard his blustering protest as she ended the call.
Flopping back on the bed, she held the phone to her chest for a moment or two. The tears were fading. In their place, her determination to catch the Incinerator was growing stronger. So he had chosen to switch his attention to her? Well, he had been her enemy for the last four years. Now they would find out who was stronger.
If the arsonist was trying to scare her, he was succeeding. But, for some reason, alongside the fear there was a feeling of empowerment. The woman who had walked into that bar in Addison was not the same one who was here in New York. Fundamentally, she was still Hollie, but something inside her had shifted. It sounded foolish, but she had been living a half-life until now. Having experienced the difference, she wasn’t going back and settling for less.
A knock on the door shook her out of her musing. “Hollie?” Torque’s voice was muffled by the thick wood. “Rehearsal finished early. How do you feel about pizza?”
“Um, hold on a second.” She padded barefoot across the thick rug. When she opened the door, he scanned her face. His gaze was like a caress. How did he do that? It was almost as though he knew how she was feeling and he was using his presence to comfort her. “How do I feel about pizza? Pretty much the same way a drowning woman feels about a lifeboat.”
He grinned. “After we’ve eaten, we’ll get you some new clothes.”
* * *
Hollie had been subdued since they arrived in New York. No, Torque could pinpoint exactly when her mood had changed. She’d been fine at first. Then, after he’d left her alone and gone to his first rehearsal, he’d returned and they’d gone for pizza. Although Hollie had done her best to maintain the pretense that nothing had changed, Torque could tell she was upset. Every now and then, she’d lapse into silence and he would catch a glimpse of real anguish in her expression.
It caused an answering tug of pain in his own chest. Something had happened while he was at his rehearsal. The most likely possibility was that she had called someone during that time and what she’d heard had caused this distress. More than ever, Torque wanted to put an end to this charade. To tell her once and for all that there
was nothing she could do or say that would turn him against her. If he could find a way to do it that didn’t involve explaining about shifters, fated mates and the reasons why he wasn’t able to offer her a normal life, he would do so in a heartbeat. Instead, he tried to offer her a reassuring presence.
Torque sensed Hollie was grateful for his understanding, and the knowledge made him angry. Even though he could never have it, he wanted more than her gratitude. He didn’t want to be viewed as the kindly friend with the broad shoulder on which she could lean. When he looked into her eyes, he saw everything he wanted. Love. Passion. Laughter. Warmth. All of those things and more. Forever.
“I’m still not sure this is a good idea.”
Hollie’s words drew Torque’s attention back to another, more mundane problem.
Persuading her that meeting Beast prior to the tour would be fun had been hard work. They had been in New York for five days and the first concert was taking place in two days’ time. Despite Torque’s reassurances, she clearly viewed the approaching evening with dread. They were in a cab now on their way to meet the others, and her expression had been growing more apprehensive with each passing block.
Finding a place to eat that catered for the different tastes within the band was always difficult. Torque supposed that was true of any diverse group, but Beast was unique. Not that Ged was likely to share the precise details of their differences with a New York restaurateur. A booking for a dragon, two werewolves, three big cats and a bear? Oh, and Hollie would be joining them...so, yeah, they’d need the mortal menu, as well. Celebrities got away with a lot of weird stuff, but that wouldn’t slip by unnoticed.
Being part of Beast was a curious balancing act. Living in the human world was all about one simple rule. Mortals must never know shifters walked among them. Anonymity was key, and all shape-shifters, no matter what animal form they took, went to great lengths to maintain it. Yet the members of the band were rock stars, constantly in the limelight.