by Claire Raye
“How long does he think it’ll take to clean it out and get the repair done?”
“Not sure. He didn’t say.”
“And you didn’t think to ask?” Ellen responds, her tone teasing, because she then says, “Too busy flirting to do your job?”
I don’t even dignify that with a response. I just begin shoveling my salad into my mouth.
“What’s flirting?” Olivia asks, and I shoot a dirty look at Ellen. She damn well knows these kids are listening to everything we say and now one of us has to explain it to Olivia because she won’t be satisfied with a half-assed answer.
“It’s when two people who like each other…”
“It is not!” I say too loudly given the fact that we’re all sitting together, and quickly cut Ellen off by saying, “It’s when someone is really annoying like Jack.” I whip my head back to Ellen, wrinkling my nose at her to show her I won this battle.
But then, just to prove that Ellen is always right, Olivia huffs and says, “Oscar is always flirting with me too, Aunt Lauren.” She rolls her eyes dramatically, as if to say solidarity sister, but all I’ve created now is a mess.
“This is why honesty is the best policy, kids,” Ellen responds, chastising my ability to lie so easily to my niece and nephew.
The rest of the meal goes on without mentioning Jack or his annoying tendencies. We talk about their upcoming vacation to Disneyland and what rides they are most excited about. The conversation is light and fun, and as much as I like my privacy, I’ll miss having them with me every day. Not like they’re going far or anything.
Ellen, her husband Will, and the kids live about ten minutes away, and more than likely will probably spend their whole summer, with the exception of their vacation, here. It’s just been nice coming home to dinner and conversation.
Ellen’s washing dishes, her eyes looking out the window over the sink as I put the leftovers in the fridge.
“He’s not that bad, you know?” she says, and I quickly shove the containers in and move so I’m now looking over her shoulder.
Jack is on the back deck, his feet resting on the table, a glass of wine in his hand, and fuck me if he doesn’t look amazing.
How can someone be so hot and so obnoxious at the same time?
I’m silent, not responding, not wanting to add fuel to her fire.
“You should’ve been a little nicer to him when you were kids. Who would’ve thought he’d grow up to look like that?” Ellen waves a hand at the window and I grab it, pulling it down just in case he happens to look over here. He does not need to know we are talking about him. It will just add more to his already overinflated ego.
“Give me a break, Ellen. He’s still single. Who is thirty and not married? There’s obviously something wrong with him.”
Ellen drops the sponge into the soapy water and spins around to look at me. Leaning up against the sink, she raises an eyebrow at me.
“You can’t be serious, right? You’re single, nearly thirty, and hell, there’s definitely something wrong you.”
“I’m single by choice,” I defend, and I give a little nod of my head.
“I don’t think being left…”
“Too soon, Ellen!” I shout over her and walk out of the room joining Oscar and Olivia on the floor, inserting myself into their game of Uno.
It’s after nine by the time they leave, the kids and I watching the Lego Movie for the millionth time, and my house is now back to being quiet.
It’s almost too quiet, and as much as I know Ellen didn’t mean anything by our earlier conversation, I can’t stop thinking about it.
I like to believe I’m single by choice, but anyone in our family, anyone who works at Somerville’s knows I’m guarded now.
This is not where I expected to end up. I love running the vineyard and the winery, but I never thought I’d be doing it alone.
I step outside into the cool evening air and take a deep breath. One of the greatest things about living here are the warm days and the cool nights, and tonight I need the cool air to clear my head.
I begin to walk, first up one row and then down the next, with each step I feel lighter. The sweet smell of grapes reminding me why I love it here.
The next row I walk up is the one where Jack knocked me down, my entire body covered in mud. I laugh a little at the memory. As much as he pisses me off, as much as I hated having him here that winter, he is in every one of my memories.
I look up at the cloudless sky, each star a bright white, making it look like a scene from a movie. The landscape and the night’s sky working together, and I feel myself settling.
My eyes are closed when I hear the sound of footsteps; each step rustling the grass and the leaves on the vines begin to move.
My eyes pop open and I suddenly wish I’d grabbed a flashlight. This place is deserted and there shouldn’t be anyone on the property, but in the past we have had trouble with local kids coming out here after dark. Playing hide and seek and eating grapes off the vines.
The grapes aren’t meant to be eaten; these aren’t your store-bought variety. And all I can hope is that I don’t have to call the police again.
I call out, hoping to scare off whatever or whoever is roaming about, but the footsteps progress in my direction and my heartbeat quickens.
“Hey!” I shout this time, but it comes out shaky and high, giving the impression that I’m not here to scare anyone off.
Damn my nervousness!
I can barely see my hand in front of my face, but I can feel the presence of someone coming closer and instead of running in the other direction, I again yell out, “Go away!”
A voice responds with, “Settle down, Lu.” His accent catching in my ears on the first syllable and I slap at his chest and shove him when he stops in front of me.
“What the fuck are you doing out here so late?” I demand, angry with him for scaring the shit out of me.
“I could ask you the same question,” he responds back casually.
“Um, I live here.”
I walk around him, making my way back to my house, but as I slip past him, he shines a flashlight right in my face, my eyes blinking rapidly to try and recover from the shock. I push my palms into my eyes, rubbing gently.
“You okay?” Jack asks. “You look sad.”
“I’m fine, but shouldn’t you be in bed?”
He doesn’t need to know why I’m out here or that I am feeling a little shitty. Nothing I do is his business, as I pry into his life.
“I fell asleep earlier, but the time change is fucking with me.”
He’s following me as I walk back to my house and I stop, letting him catch up so we’re now walking next to each other.
“How about you have a drink with me,” he says, shrugging one shoulder, and he’s not asking me, but rather indicating that I should.
“I’m not having a drink with you, Jack.” I shake my head, my lips set in a firm line. He’s really pushing hard at this friends thing.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m your boss,” I quip back, but realizing how stupid I sound. I’m just looking for an excuse not to get close to him.
“What, you worried you’ll fall for me?”
“Definitely not,” I say, a small condescending laugh falling from my lips. “I’m worried I’ll have to fire you for sexual harassment.”
“It’s not harassment if both people are enjoying themselves, Lu” he adds, winking at me. “Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy this love/hate thing we’ve got going on.”
I blow a hard breath out my mouth and hold back from starting an unnecessary argument with him. It leans way more toward the hate end than anything, but a part of me shivers in response to his words, my stomach suddenly fluttering.
“You sure you don’t want to have a drink with me? I brought a bottle of Shiraz from home,” he says trying to sweeten the deal.
We got drunk off a bottle of Shiraz when we were kids. Jack stole it from the wine r
ack in the cottage and we drank it together one night under the stars. It was a cool evening, much like tonight, and we sat taking swigs straight from the bottle until the whole thing was gone.
I smile a little at the memory, and Jack catches the look on my face immediately and says, “What do you say?” Trying his hand at using our walk down memory lane to convince me, and if I’m being honest, he’s almost there.
“Go to bed, Jack.”
“One drink, I swear that’s all.” He holds up one finger and gives me that cheeky smile. He’s strangely hard to say no to. Either that or my sudden loneliness is pushing me in his direction.
“Fine,” I say, finally conceding and I watch Jack’s face light up in a way that I’ve never seen before. “But you owe me a package of Tim Tams.”
“Deal.”
Chapter Five
Jack
She follows me inside, a strange silence settling between us now, as though neither of us expected our night to end up like this. Truth be told, when I’d woken up twenty minutes ago, the remnants of a dream about her lingering, I’d been overcome with a sudden urge to just hang out with her, like we’d sometimes been able to do when I stopped teasing her for five minutes back when we were kids.
So, I’d pulled on some clothes and headed over to her place, not really sure what I was going to say or how she was going to react to me just randomly dropping by. Only just as I’d gotten there, I heard her front door slam. Following her, I couldn’t stop the smile on my face as she wandered down to the fields, slowly walking a path through the vines. I’d been half-tempted to sneak up and tackle her for old times’ sake, but figured it was a shitty thing to do in the dark.
“Help yourself,” I say, gesturing to the packets of Tim Tams sitting on the kitchen bench.
Lu looks over at them, an audible “Holy shit,” falling from her mouth when she sees how many packets I brought over.
I smile as I grab the bottle of wine and two glasses before walking out to the back deck. Lulu eventually follows me out there and I hand her a glass and take a seat, propping my bare feet up on the rail. She takes a seat beside me, slipping off her shoes and mirroring my pose.
“Why’d you bring so many?” she asks.
I look over and grin. “Figured I’d look you up while I was here,” I say. “And they might be useful as a peace-offering,” I add. “Or at the very least, could be used for bribery,” I continue, winking.
She gives me a strange look. “You didn’t know I’d be here when you took the job?”
I shrug. “Your sister has a different surname, figured your folks had sold the business.”
“Never,” she says. “It’s been in our family for generations.”
I nod, but say nothing more. “Anyway,” I say, holding my glass out. “Cheers, Lu. Here’s to you and me, together again.”
Lulu doesn’t move, staring at me for a few seconds before she lifts her glass and clinks it against mine.
I watch as she smells the contents of her glass before taking a sip, slowly swirling the liquid in her mouth before swallowing it. In the low light, surrounded by nothing but silence and stars, the whole thing is strangely erotic and I feel my own mouth go dry just watching her.
“Wow,” she says, reaching for the bottle. “This is amazing. Is it one of your dad’s?”
I say nothing as she reads the back label on the bottle, the lighting only just bright enough that she can make out the small print.
“Holy shit,” she says, looking up at me. “You made this?”
I nod, giving her a smile as I take a sip of my wine.
“It’s…it’s really good, Jack,” she says, obviously shocked. “Like really good.”
My grin widens now. “Bet that was hard to get out,” I say, nudging her bare foot with mine.
Lu swallows hard, her eyes never leaving mine even as I leave my foot resting against hers on the railing. We’re barely touching, but the heat it’s generating between us feels like a furnace, as though it could combust at any second.
I have to swallow hard as she continues to stare at me.
Eventually she pulls her foot away. “Only you would say something like that,” she mutters, looking away.
I chuckle, taking another sip of wine as I slide lower in my chair and stare out at the night. “It is good to see you though,” I say, my eyes wandering over the rows and rows of grape vines. “Seriously.”
Lulu says nothing and when I turn to look at her, I see she’s also staring out at the night, a strange look on her face.
“How’s life been these past fourteen years?” I ask, genuinely interested.
She shrugs, still not looking at me as she replies, “Busy, hard work. But of course, I wouldn’t trade it…”
“For anything,” I finish off, smiling a little. “I know what you mean.”
“You ever think about getting your own place?” she asks, sipping her wine. “Instead of making wine for everyone else.”
“Yeah,” I admit, reaching over to top up her glass. She shoots me a look that says, what happened to only one drink? And I smirk at her. “There’s no way we are leaving this wine open and unfinished,” I tell her. It’s an eighty-dollar bottle, Lu.”
She raises her eyebrows in surprise and I can’t tell if she’s impressed my wine is worth that much or shocked I’m choosing to share it with her.
“Anyway,” I continue, topping up my own glass. “For sure I’d love to have my own place,” I confess. “But it’s hard breaking into the market in Australia. Plus, it would be a huge capital outlay and probably not something I want to do myself, especially from scratch.”
“So, no significant other waiting for you back home to help out?” she asks.
I turn to look at her and she meets my stare for a few seconds before looking away, suddenly embarrassed at how personal this conversation has gotten.
I grin even though she isn’t looking at me. “No, Lulu, no one waiting back at home for me,” I say, knowing just how true that is. “What about you?” I add, nudging her foot again. “Seeing anyone?”
I watch as she takes a deep breath as though contemplating whether she can continue the unspoken charade of Oscar and Oliva being her kids. Clearly she realizes she can’t and I watch as she turns to face me, a strange look on her face as she says, “Nope, no one special.”
My heart lurches at the look in her eyes, the sadness that now fills them. “Lu,” I say gently, half sitting up.
But she shakes her head and looks away. “So,” she says, taking a large sip of wine. “How long do you think it’s going to take to fix the crusher?”
I focus on her, watch as she fights to regain her composure, hide the hurt I know I just saw. Wanting to lighten the situation, I say, “Don’t tell me you’re trying to get rid of me already?”
A half smile tugs at her mouth. “Well,” she says, shooting me a sideways glance.
I grin. “Come on,” I tease. “Admit you like having me here again,” I say, nudging her foot once more. “Admit you’ve missed me all these years.”
She rolls her eyes now, muttering something under her breath as she takes another sip of wine. She doesn’t move her foot this time though and I chalk it up to a small win that she lets me keep resting mine against hers.
The heat is back again too and it’s making my fingers itch. It’s surprising how much being this close to her is affecting me. Despite wanting to see her, eager to know how she is after all this time, I hadn’t expected it to have such a big impact. Especially considering everything I was running away from in Oz.
We sip our wine in silence now, me topping our glasses up once more until eventually the bottle is empty. It feels peaceful and relaxing sharing this moment and this wine with her. And a million miles away from all of the fucked up drama I was dealing with back home.
And even though this country is so different to Australia, a part of me can’t help but feel at home here. I don’t know if it’s because of the nearly two months I s
pent here as a kid or because of Lulu and the way I feel drawn to her, even after all these years apart.
Either way I’m glad I’d taken the job. Even more glad that I get to work with and see Lulu every day as a result.
“Well,” Lu finally says, draining her glass and standing. “I should let you get some sleep.”
Immediately, I want to ask her to stay, my hand practically reaching for her as though I can somehow make it happen. Swallowing, I stand and face her, our eyes meeting in the darkness.
Lulu blinks at me and I don’t know what it is, but I feel myself taking a step toward her, my hand reaching for her, my fingers circling her wrist as my thumb brushes against the soft skin on the inside.
Inside my chest, my heart is going double time, the noise so loud I swear she can hear it.
“Lulu,” I whisper, her eyes widening as I take another step closer, our bodies only inches apart now.
The space between us feels charged with electricity, the attraction intense, as though everything I felt for her as a kid has only been magnified by all the time we’ve spent apart.
I’m suddenly overcome by want, by an urge to pull her against me, wrap my arms around her and kiss her hard, convince her not to go but to come inside with me instead.
But as though she can read my mind, she suddenly blinks, pulls her arm from my grip and says, “Goodnight, Jack,” her voice strange in the silence of this moment.
I watch as she walks down the back steps and over to her house, going in through the unlocked back door, not once looking back.
Shoving a rough hand through my hair, I finish off my wine as I attempt to get myself back in control. Whatever that was just then, I have no idea how to explain it, I only know she felt it too.
When I head back inside, I notice the packet of Tim Tams she obviously chose are still sitting on the kitchen table. Knowing this is likely a really bad idea, one that could get me yelled at, or worse still, fired, I pick up the packet and walk back outside.
Over at her house, I watch as the kitchen light switches off and is replaced by a light in what I assume is her bedroom. Without stopping to think, I walk quickly down the back steps, cross over to her yard and go quietly inside the back door, holding my breath in case she hears me.