by Claire Raye
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I respond, trying not to let it show that I’m bothered by Jack’s friendliness toward Penny.
Tommy rests his hands on my shoulders, his eyes looking directly into mine. “Don’t let anyone change the progress you’ve made. Things are good. You’re good.”
I nod my head unable to speak, a lump forming in my throat at the kindness in his words. I fight back the tears that form in my eyes, blinking hard as I hear Jack call out my name.
“This guy giving you a hard time, Lu?” Jack calls as he approaches, a stern look on his face. He slips his arm around my waist and I shy away, that feeling of tears suddenly returning.
“No Jack. Tommy and I were just discussing some production issues.” My voice sounds hollow and right now I’d give anything to be back in the shed with Jack, the hose drenching both of us. It’s better than feeling like this.
“I gotta get back to work,” Tommy says, his glare staring deeply at Jack.
“Good call, mate,” Jack quips, and I turn to look at him, my lips pursed as I swat at his arm.
“Mind your business, Jack,” I warn, walking away to finally change out of these wet clothes.
“Need some help?” Jack calls after me, jogging a bit catch up. “I’ve had me a shower, but I’m happy to help you out.” He nudges me with his shoulder and it’s hard to not find his blatant comes-ons kind of charming.
“While I appreciate your help, I think I can take care of this myself.”
“Well, I guess I’ll see you later, Lu,” Jack says, giving up far easier than he usually does and the stupid part of me can’t help but read into it. Maybe he is interested in Penny? Maybe I’ve played hard to get for a little too long? “Hey, Lu?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re lucky Olivia caught us because that kiss was about to be fucking epic.”
And just like that he draws me back in.
The night comes quickly, but sleep doesn’t. I’m three wines deep, but still wide awake and my thoughts are swirling with everything that Ellen, Tommy and Jack said today. I turn off the TV even though I know I’m not going to fall asleep.
I slide my feet into my boots and grab a flashlight this time, but when I look out the window, there isn’t a light on in the cottage Jack is currently occupying. Guess I don’t really need to worry about him sneaking up on me.
The flashlight is unnecessary. I know the path in the darkness. I’d know it with my eyes closed. It’s something I’ll never be able to erase from my memory.
It only takes me about five minutes to walk there, my key slipping into the lock of the small shed set a little farther back.
I turn the light on and find the fuse box, flipping the dozen or so labeled switches and I take a deep breath before I walk out.
My eyes are closed when I step out the door, and for a second, I rethink my actions. It’s been awhile since I’ve done this and I should probably just head back to my house.
But I don’t stop myself from opening my eyes and taking in the hundreds of trees and grapevines covered in tiny white lights. The trellis’ flowers are now blooming and they practically glow under the sparkling white lights that are wrapped around it.
This is where I was supposed to get married, and while the chairs are missing and the people are gone, I can still picture it like it was yesterday.
The flowers on the trellis were planted a year in advance, pale pink Eden roses, because I needed them to be in bloom on that day. They’ve been growing ever since, even when I don’t water them, even though I couldn’t care less if they die.
I stand under the trellis for a few seconds before my gaze falls on the Weeping Willow’s trunk wrapped in lights; the swing still tied with thick rope to one of its branches.
I remember watching weddings take place here as a kid and being mesmerized by its beauty, and I knew then that this would be the place where I would get married. I’d sit on the swing in my white dress, the backdrop of the vineyard and the lights. It would be as perfect as all the weddings I’d seen play out here.
But now it’s all ruined.
I hate that he was able to take my happiness with him, but I hate that he ruined all the wonderful memories I have of this place.
I walk over to the swing, tugging on the rope, wondering if it will hold me. It’s been unused for some time now. There have been no pictures of brides or grooms on it for months.
I’m certain Oscar and Olivia haven’t used it either, especially after I yelled at them on a particularly bad day. Telling them to get off it and never come back here again.
Olivia had cried and called me mean. It broke my heart and still does, but Ellen constantly reminds me that they are resilient. They forgive easily and they love with all their heart.
This vineyard is as much their sanctuary as it is mine and I ruined a part of it for them just like he did for me.
Because I am bitter.
Because I am lonely.
I sit down on the swing, my feet pushing off the ground to get it moving and it picks up speed, my head falls back, letting the wind blow through my hair.
With each pass of the swing, I feel lighter, like the weight I’ve carried today is disappearing, and I try to take myself back to that moment in the shed with Jack. His lips nearly touching mine, the happiness I felt being near him. It was the first time in a long time that I can remember laughing, like truly laughing.
It wasn’t forced. I wasn’t reminding myself to laugh. It just came naturally as does my attraction to Jack. There’s something about him that calms me, but also makes me feel alive.
My eyes are closed as I swing, my hair blowing wildly and when I open my eyes, the vineyard is lit up like a single ship on an empty ocean. Everything around it is dark, pitch-black except the millions of twinkling lights.
I often wonder if it can be seen from the sky, a beacon of light in an otherwise black existence.
One thing I do know, if you’re anywhere on the property at night, you can see the glow radiating from this part of the fields.
Chapter Nine
Jack
My phone ringing is what wakes me and for a second I think I must be back in Australia because no one has called me since I got to the States. I reach for it just as the ringing stops and when I see the name on the screen, I’m glad I missed the call.
“Fucks sake, Mel,” I mutter to myself.
It’s bad enough all the emails she keeps flooding my inbox with, but to now start calling me. I’d thought I’d made it pretty obvious the last time I saw her that I never wanted to speak to her again.
Clearly, she isn’t getting the message.
There’d been a heap more emails when I finished up with work yesterday, only this time I’d actually opened a couple, only to immediately delete them when I saw all the bullshit they contained.
It had totally killed any ideas I’d had of heading over to Lu’s house and trying to pick back up with that almost kiss we’d had earlier in the day too. Instead, I’d sat on the couch nursing a beer in the darkness, my eyes blankly watching a TV show that I wasn’t following, before I eventually dragged myself to bed.
My phone chimes out to let me know she’s left a voicemail. Groaning, I drag myself from bed, pulling on a pair of track pants before wandering into the kitchen to make some coffee.
I most definitely need caffeine to hear this, probably laced with alcohol if I’m being honest.
I switch on the machine and while it does its thing, I take a deep breath and listen to the message I really should just ignore and delete.
“Jack, hi, it’s me, Mel,” she starts, as though I can’t possibly work out that the voice belongs to the woman who ruined my life. “Look, I don’t know where you are or what’s going on here, but we really need to talk. Can you please answer my emails or better yet, return this phone call? Please, Jack, I…” she pauses and already my body is bracing for what I think she’s going to say, the words that are nothing but lies. “I miss you, okay and I…”<
br />
The message cuts off before she has a chance to say anymore and I’m grateful. Throwing my phone on the counter, I turn and grab my coffee just as a knock sounds at the front door.
Walking over, I nearly drop my cup when I see who it is.
“Lu, hey,” I say, grinning at her, the voicemail now a distant memory.
“Hi,” she says, her eyes flicking to my bare chest.
I watch as she licks her lips and swallows hard and I can’t resist saying, “You here to finally take me up on my offer?”
Lu immediately rolls her eyes, shaking her head as she pushes past me and walks into the house. I follow her into the kitchen, chuckling a little while also using the opportunity to check her out. She’s wearing some sort of summer dress that’s nothing more than a piece of material that stops just above her knees, thin straps on the shoulders that I’m already itching to pull down.
“No, smart ass,” she says as she walks in and pours a coffee for herself.
“No?” I repeat.
Lu shakes her head as she grabs her mug.
“Ok, so what are you here for?” I ask. “I mean aside from the whole you can’t stop thinking about me thing, obviously.”
Lu rolls her eyes again. “Oh boy,” she mutters. “Even though I’m already regretting this, I’m actually here to see if you want to take your rental car back. It must be costing you a fortune hanging on to it and you can use ones of ours. I was going to suggest I follow you into town so you can return it. Maybe, ahh, maybe see if you wanted to grab lunch or something before we come back?”
My grin widens as I stand watching her, hip against the kitchen bench, coffee in hand.
“What?” she asks defensively.
I laugh. “Oh nothing,” I say, shaking my head a little as I finish my coffee.
“No really, what?” she repeats, frustrated. “What are you thinking right now?”
I shake my head. “Nothing, Lulu, nothing at all,” I tease. “I’m just gonna take a quick shower before we go though,” I add on my way out of the kitchen. “Did you want to…” I pause, gesturing first to her and then in the direction of the bathroom.
“Go,” she says, throwing a tea towel at me.
When I walk back into the kitchen, Lu is perched at the kitchen bench, another mug of coffee in front of her, alongside what is now a half empty packet of Tim Tams.
“I thought we were going for lunch?” I ask, grabbing the packet from her.
She swallows, groaning a little. “It is seriously criminal that you keep all of these in here, you know,” she says, licking her lips. “You can eat them anytime you want, you really should just give them to me.”
I chuckle, grabbing my wallet, sunnies and keys. “Is that so?” I ask, gesturing toward the front door.
“Yes,” she nods as we head out to the cars.
“Tell you what,” I say, half way into my hire car. “How about I give you a packet for every time you’re nice to me?”
Lu stares across the roof of her car at me, a small smile tugging at her mouth. “Well in that case,” she says, smirking. “I’ll just grab the rest of the packets when we get back then, won’t I.” Then she hops into her car, slamming the door as she gestures through the front window for me to do the same.
The drive into Napa takes about thirty minutes and as I follow Lu, I can’t stop thinking about what’s brought all this on today. I’ll admit, I’m intrigued, but more than that, I’m happy she’s actively choosing to spend time with me.
I’d never mentioned anything about ditching this car, even though I clearly didn’t need it and hanging onto it was costing me money. But for some reason, not only has Lu thought to save me a few bucks by lending me one of the work cars, she’s also volunteered to be the one to help me out.
Obviously, I am starting to have an effect on her; a thought that has my mind racing with possibilities and a grin plastered on my face the whole drive into town.
After we’ve ditched my hire car, I slide into the passenger seat of Lu’s SUV.
“So where to?” I ask.
She smiles. “You remember much of this place?” she asks, gesturing out the window.
I glance around, nothing much coming to mind as I shake my head. “Not really.”
She nods before pulling out of the car park and heading back toward downtown. Eventually she pulls into a spot in front of a bar and grill specializing in American food.
I grin. “Wow, this place is still here.”
“Uh huh,” she says as we both get out of the car.
“I loved this place,” I say, half to myself as we make our way to the front door. Lu’s family had taken my dad and me here the first day I’d arrived in the US for my summer holidays. I remember being amazed by it, how it was so different to any restaurant we had in Australia and instead, exactly like the restaurants you saw in American movies and TV shows.
“I remember,” she says, holding the door open for me.
I can’t help but grin at her, pausing to say, “Check you out, all reminiscing and shit.” I run a finger down her nose and then walk inside before she can say anything.
Lu steps in behind me and as soon as what looks like the manager sees her, she comes over.
“Lauren, hey,” she says, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “It’s been ages.”
“Hi Carey,” Lu replies. “I know, sorry, I’ve just been so busy and all.”
Carey is nodding, even as she glances at me, her brow furrowing as though she’s trying to work out where she’s seen me before. “Is that…?” she trails off, not finishing her question.
Lu nods once. “Yep, it is,” she says. “Back to fix some stuff for us and, you know,” she adds, waving a hand in the air as though this will explain things.
“Is that so?” Carey asks, smiling a little as she blatantly runs her eyes all over me.
I shoot Lu a glance, but she ignores me, instead rolling her eyes at Carey as she adds, “No, not that.”
Carey’s grin widens as she turns back to Lu and says, “Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that.”
She reaches for some menus now, her hand out motioning to the large French doors that lead to an outdoor patio that overlooks the river running through the middle of downtown.
We follow her outside, taking a seat at a corner table under a huge sun umbrella. Lu orders us a bottle of wine and Carey runs through some specials that I pay zero attention to, before finally walking off and leaving us to decide what we want.
“Ok,” I say, as soon as she leaves, my arms resting on the table as I lean closer to her. “What was that all about?”
“What?” she asks, her eyes on the menu.
“Ah, that,” I say, reaching over and lowering her menu so she’s forced to look at me. When she finally does, I flick my eyes inside as if to emphasize what I’m talking about.
Lu shakes her head, eyes back on her menu as she says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I shake my head at her explanation, a smile tugging at my mouth as I see Carey heading toward us again, bottle of wine and two glasses in her hands. “I see,” I say, turning to grin at Carey now. “Sorry, Lu didn’t introduce us before.” I extend a hand out to her. “I’m Jack.”
Carey places the glasses on the table before shaking my hand, giggling a little as she says, “I know.”
I cock my head to the side. “You do?” I ask, shooting a quick look back at Lu, who’s now studying her menu like her life depends on it. “Have we met before or something?”
Carey sighs a little as she murmurs something that sounds like that accent before she opens the wine and pours a taste into my glass. I gesture to both glasses, trusting Lu’s choice as Carey continues. “You were here like fifteen years ago, right?”
“Yeah.”
She nods. “You came to our school dance, the winter one.”
I look at Lu now, who’s shaking her head, a look on her face that suggests she wants the balcony to open up and dump her into t
he river below.
“Ohhhh,” I say. “You guys went to school together?”
Carey nods. “Yep.”
“And you remember me from that night?” I ask, grinning. This is fucking fantastic.
Carey smiles back at me. “Oh, we all do,” she says, her smile widening.
“Okay, I’m having a burger with everything, he’ll have the same only extra pickles,” Lu suddenly says, interrupting our walk down memory lane as she grabs my menu and shoves both of them at Carey. “Thanks, Care.”
Carey looks at Lu, who avoids her gaze now as she reaches for her wine glass. I pick up mine, holding it out in a toast toward her as Carey finally walks off.
“Everyone remembers me, huh?” I say, grinning as I hold my glass out to hers.
Lu rolls her eyes, clinking her glass against mine as she takes a long sip. I do the same, swirling the buttery chardonnay in my mouth before swallowing. It’s good wine.
“How do they all remember me, Lu?” I ask, nudging her with my foot under the table.
Lu puts her glass down, sitting up a little straighter as she meets my stare. “Don’t get too excited,” she says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “It was just the winter dance I was forced to take you to, that’s all.”
I chuckle. “Forced? From memory, I thought I actually saved you that night, taking you when you didn’t have a date.”
She rolls her eyes at me, reaching for her glass. “Pfft, whatever,” she says, taking another sip. “You were just some novelty to a bunch of bored teenagers,” she adds, trying to act like this isn’t a big deal. “The tall, mysterious foreign guy with the hot accent, whoopee,” she adds, shrugging. “If anything, you were great for my rep because all the girls were swooning and all the guys were jealous as hell.” She waves a hand in dismissal as though none of this is a big deal.
I burst out laughing. “Lulu,” I say in mock scolding. “You never told me any of this.”
Lu scoffs. “Like your ego needed anymore stroking, Jack.”
I grin at her, as she sits across from me, trying to fight the smile I know she wants to give me. I watch as she bites her bottom lip, lowering her sunglasses to her eyes as though it’s the glare and not the reminiscing that’s bothering her.