by Claire Adams
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ryan
My hand reached down and grasped Alissa’s wrist, and I squeezed hard as I looked down at her brave face and smiled. I turned and looked at Christina, who was standing there with her arms crossed in front of her, her foot tapping on the floor. I took a step toward her and stood tall, not willing to take her shit for even one second more.
“Do you want the truth?” I asked.
“Of course, Ryan,” she said in her fake sweet tone.
“I have been trying so hard since Alissa called me and told me that I should give you a chance to come back in our lives for Kayla,” I said, ignoring her look of surprise and glancing over at Alissa. “I have been racking my brain on how to make this work, but to be honest, I am just tired of it. I’m tired of trying at something that my heart just isn’t into.”
“Ryan—”
“No,” I said, putting up my hand. “Let me talk. I have watched you so closely since you came back, and I have made excuse after excuse in my head for the way that you’ve been acting. I have given you chance after chance, hoping that I was making the right choice for our little girl, but you have done nothing but show me that you don’t actually like being back with me and Kayla. I didn’t send Kayla to my father’s so I could spend time with you, or to give her time with him. I sent her there for a few days to give her relief from this hell. She has been coming to me over and over again, asking me why you were so mad at her. Do you know how much that breaks my heart that my daughter has to ask me why her own mother is angry at her? Your actions have alienated you, and you have driven Kayla even further away from you.”
“That is not true,” Christina said. “I have not been acting mad toward her at all. You have to understand how strange of a situation this is. I won’t lie and say that I feel completely comfortable, knowing my husband is watching me like a hawk, judging my every move, and some woman is lurking by the door to snatch my family away at any second. Do you know what kind of pressure that puts on me? I am trying to make this work, but I don’t feel okay enough to let down my guard and feel free to be who I am.”
“Let down your guard?” I asked, getting angrier. “Why would you have a guard to let down? You were the one that left us. If anyone should have their guard up, it should be me and Kayla, to protect us from the likes of you, and how selfish of a person you really are. I knew you didn’t really think you made a mistake. You just proved it by defending yourself and blaming the outcome of this on everyone but yourself.”
“Ryan, I came here to put our family back together,” she said angrily. “I came here so that we could fix this, and we could become that loving couple and daughter that we used to be. I want us to have that. I want us to be a family again. Why can’t you see that?”
“We had a family, Christina,” I yelled at her. “We had a family until you decided to up and leave us for Dale.”
“There is no reason that we can’t have that again,” she said pleadingly. “That we can’t have our home with our traditions and our togetherness.”
“You don’t give a damn about any of that,” I scoffed. “You haven’t shown me one damn thing to make me feel otherwise. You have mocked me and my choices at every single turn. You got mad when I didn’t want to talk about you and me, when I wanted to focus on Kayla, which should have been the most important thing for you. I don’t understand why you are in such a hurry to push this relationship crap. Didn’t you get enough relationship when you ran off with Dale to God knows where? Or did you do the same thing to him, too? Did you get tired of his bullshit charm and just woke up one day and bailed on him, leaving someone else there to clean up the mess? Not that I give two shits about that man, but it seems to be your MO to just use and abuse people and throw them out.”
“Goddamnit,” she screamed. “He broke up with me, okay? Is that what you want to hear? He crushed me like I’m sure you would love to do to me as well.”
I stopped and dropped my hands to my sides, looking back at Alissa in disbelief. Her eyes got wide, and she shook her head, thinking exactly what I was thinking. Christina didn’t come back here of her own free will. She had nowhere else to go. Anger started to bubble in my gut, thinking about how hard I pushed to help her have a relationship with her daughter. I had given up the love of my life, thinking that I was doing the best thing that I could for my daughter, and all for someone who was running from one relationship back to the safety she thought she would find here with me and Kayla.
“Ryan,” she said, realizing that she had just fucked up.
“Shh,” I said, trying to collect my thoughts. “Just be quiet for a minute so I can process what you just said.”
My heart was beating furiously in my chest, even though my outside demeanor was calm and collected. It was taking everything in me not to toss her straight out the door in a fit of anger. I paced back and forth, rubbing my chin before stopping and looking up at her, an eerie laugh escaping my chest.
“You mean to tell me that you came here under the guise that you realized you made a mistake and you wanted us, not him. But you really were just trying to find a safe place to land? You thought you would come right back into our lives and slide right back in without thought. You came back to my house, and broke up my relationship, and turned Kayla’s life upside down, and you were doing it all because your little boyfriend kicked you to the curb? How fucking typical is that? You’re a selfish little bitch. How dare you think you can march back in here? How dare you call Alissa the homewrecker when, in fact, you’re the one trying to wreck this house? You’re the one that came in, trying to break up something really good between me, Kayla, and Alissa.”
“Ryan, I know it sounds bad, but that is not how it happened,” she said, putting up her hands. “I was already ready to leave, wanting to come back here and be with you and Kayla. He did me a favor by cutting it off.”
“Oh, stop with the bullshit, Christina,” I said. “Please, stop. I don’t want to hear any more of your damn lies. Can’t you, for once, just be fucking honest? Can’t you admit that you just came back here for my roof, my bank account, and my stability because you have thrown away every relationship with every person you have ever met?”
“That’s not how it is, please Ryan,” she said, pleading.
“No, that is exactly how it is. You don’t give a damn about Kayla. You never have, and you never will. That is why it was so hard for you to be a mother to her, because you don’t actually give two shits about your own fucking daughter.”
“How dare you?” she asked through gritted teeth. “I have raised that little girl from the time I pushed her out of my womb. Do you know how much I have sacrificed for the two of you?”
From behind me, I heard a small giggle, and I turned and looked at Alissa. She had stayed silent this entire time, which I was sure had to have been difficult. She was shaking her head and rubbing her face, completely done with listening to the two of us argue back and forth.
“What the hell is so funny?” Christina shouted at Alissa. “Just leave!”
“No, nothing is funny,” Alissa said through an exhausted laugh. “There isn’t a single thing about any of this that’s funny. In fact, it’s really sad. It’s sad that you think you can come in here and act this way when you are the one with the problem. I’m sorry, Ryan, but I’ve held my tongue for far too long with this situation.”
I nodded and gestured for her to continue.
She turned back to look at Christina. “You said earlier that you came to fix what you had broken, but sweetie, you are way too late for that. Where were you when Kayla would cry herself to sleep every night? Where were you when she would stare out the window, hoping you would show up for holidays? Where were you when her grades began to slip, and she didn’t give a damn about anything? Oh, that’s right. You were shacked up, trying to live the single life. You are the most selfish woman I have ever met. Children are a blessing, and there are so many people out there who can’t have them. You
can, and you did, and you threw her away like some little doll you got tired of playing with. You don’t deserve to be here. You don’t deserve Ryan in your life. And you definitely don’t deserve one single hug, kiss, or kind word from that beautiful little girl. If anyone should leave, it should be you. Before you do more damage than you already have. Go find some other guy who will fall for your bullshit, and get the hell out of these beautiful people’s lives.”
I looked over at Alissa with love and thanks for the words she spoke. I could tell she was more upset than I realized. Everything she said was the honest truth. It was a truth I couldn’t have said better myself. Alissa had cut right to the heart of things, and I could see how much she loved Kayla. It was all the more obvious compared to the coldhearted bitch that pretended to call herself a mother.
I was proud to have such a strong and loving woman beside me through all of this. I didn’t deserve it, not even for a second. Before I could even reach out to grab her hand, I saw Christina move in my peripheral vision.
“How dare you, you bitch,” she screamed, racing forward with her arm cocked back.
Christina approached and began to swing her hand toward Alissa’s face, and I grabbed her around the waist and pinned her hands behind her back. She screamed and struggled as I moved her toward the door and pushed her away from the two of us. I grabbed her purse from the coffee table and raced back toward her, watching as she tried to gather herself amongst her tears and anger. I threw her purse at her chest and shook my head.
“You are the biggest mistake I ever made,” I said calmly. “I don’t want you anywhere near this house ever again. Do you understand me? I could call the cops right now if I really wanted to, but I won’t. Instead, I’m giving you the opportunity to leave and completely forget that we exist. Don’t call, don’t show up, don’t send gifts, nothing. I will deal with the aftermath of what you have just done to our little girl, but I promise you it will be the last time that I ever do this. If I so much as hear that you are thinking about Kayla, I will take you to court and get your rights taken so fast, that you won’t even realize what happened. You wanted to be alone. Well, there you go. You got your wish. You’re all alone. Now get the hell out of our lives.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Alissa
I stood there, completely shocked at the turn of events. I had no idea that me speaking out like that would cause Christina to completely lose her mind. I stared over at this shell of a woman as she clutched her purse to her chest, tears streaming down her face and her hair matted to her forehead. Ryan was breathing heavily after grabbing her before she could slap me right across the face.
“You know what?” she asked through her sobs, clenching her fist and shaking it at Ryan. “I now realize that coming here was a huge mistake.”
“You think?” He smiled and taunted her, and I could tell he felt justified in his response.
“You are a piece of shit with no future,” she said, looking at Ryan. “I knew I should have never married you in the first place. You had no ambition in life.”
“Yes, because starting a company from scratch and growing it to what it is now takes zero ambition.” He chuckled. “I wasn’t the one who sat around drinking wine, gossiping, spending money, and ignoring her family while taking credit for being mother of the year.”
“You son of a bitch,” she growled. “No wonder Kayla has turned out to be such a spoiled little brat. I can’t even recognize her as my own daughter anymore. It’s sad what you have turned her into. She used to be so sweet and girlie, and now you are satisfied with baseball uniforms and letting her do whatever it is she wants to do. You want to blame me for everything, but you don’t even know how to properly raise a little girl. You are the one that screwed her up, and you can be the one to blame for me washing my hands of you and her. I won’t be seen with people who don’t know how to be civilized and have some sort of class.”
“Yes, you are the model of class right now.” He chuckled. “Just go.”
She turned around, huffing and puffing, opened the door, and slammed it behind her. I stood there, blown away. All the adrenaline that I had running through me left with Christina, and my hands were clammy and shaking in the same rhythm as my shoulders. I had never been through something like that before, and if it weren’t for Ryan’s quick actions, she would have slapped the hell out of me. When I saw her coming, I froze, unable to even think about moving from my spot. I was completely open and unprotected. I wanted to reach for Ryan at that moment, but I couldn’t. I was too overcome by emotion.
I never meant for any of that to happen, nor did I expect it to happen, either. At best, I assumed Ryan would lead me out and tell me he would call me later. Everything just started to spiral out of control, but for some reason, I felt completely numb about all of it. I didn’t mean to push Christina out of Kayla’s life completely, nor did I mean to ruin something that I wasn’t sure was there or not. As soon as Ryan turned around and looked at me, I burst into tears, pulling my hands over my face and sobbing uncontrollably. He rushed over and wrapped his arms around me, shushing me softly. He rubbed my back gently, and I leaned my forehead against his chest, trying to catch my breath.
“Shh,” he said softly. “It’s all over now. She’s gone, and everything is okay. I am here with you.”
“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into his shirt. “I couldn’t control myself, and I just let the words fly out of my mouth. I completely destroyed your family, and that wasn’t my intention when I came over here. I just wanted you to know that I loved you.”
“Hey, hey,” he said quietly, lifting my chin up and looking into my eyes. “You listen to me. You did not destroy this family. Christina did. Do you understand me?”
I sniffled and shook my head, swallowing hard and feeling the tears recede enough to see his face in front of me. He was looking at me with complete caring in his eyes, and his warm hands were comforting on my face. I sniffled again, and tears rolled down my cheek. I couldn’t seem to stop it.
“Lately, Kayla has been constantly asking for you,” he said. “She sleeps with the doll you gave her and practically takes it everywhere she goes. She has been dreading spending time with her mom, and this was coming long before you knocked on my door. You just gave me the open opportunity to finally get her away from me and Kayla. I’m sorry she tried to attack you. I’ve never seen her so unhinged before.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” He chuckled. “Come here. Come sit down.”
We walked over to the couch and sat down. I flung my head back and took in a deep breath, blinking my eyes so that I could see clearly again. Knowing that Kayla had wanted me made me feel so much better about everything, and I was sure that what I had done was the right thing. Still, I didn’t know what Ryan was feeling. It had been quite a while since we had seen each other, and I wanted to know if he was still in love with me.
“And how about you?” I asked. “Have you been missing me?”
“You haven’t left my mind for even a day,” he said, rubbing my cheek. “You are the woman that I want to be with. No one else. I made a mistake thinking that I could solve all of this by making myself miserable. I want to have a family, and I want that family to be with you.”
I let out a deep breath and smiled, leaning into Ryan and feeling his strong embrace. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. I whimpered as his mouth moved over mine and his hand cupped the back of my neck. I had missed him so much.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed me over and over again. “I have missed you so much. Your hair, your smile, your laugh… your body.”
Immediately, I could see his eyes darken, and he reached down, pulling me on top of him. I straddled his body and leaned over, caressing his lips with my tongue. I wanted to be close to him. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I wanted to know this was all real. As our mouths washed over each other and our tongues tangled tog
ether, I reached up and began to unbutton my blouse, pulling it off my shoulders and dropping it on the floor. He reached behind my back and unclasped my bra, catching my heaving breasts in his palms and massaging them deeply, our mouths still locked. I could feel his cock between my legs, pushing to get free from the restriction of his pants. He ran his fingers down my sides and pushed them up my thighs, pulling my skirt high above my waist. The heat was gathering in my black satin panties, and instantly, I was on fire.
Ryan turned and laid me down on the couch, reaching under my skirt and running his fingers across the stitching of my panties. He pushed them to the side and stared down at me as his warm fingers pushed through my folds and slid up to my clit. I closed my eyes and grabbed my tits, squeezing them hard as he slowly ran his fingers in circles through my wetness. As he moved down through the creases, he paused for a moment before pushing two of his fingers deep inside of me. I moaned loudly, arching my back and feeling every inch of him pushing in and out of my juices.
Between the adrenaline before and the passion between us now, I was already ready to explode, and I picked my hips up and began to grind them in the air. He reached his other hand up and rubbed my clit as he fingered me fast and hard, sensing that I was about to come. I let my voice carry through the house, allowing him to hear every moment of pleasure that he was inflicting on my body. As his thumb grazed over my clit and pressed down, moving in small, fast circles, I could feel the fire in my stomach explode, sending pulsing waves of ecstasy through every vein in my body. I screamed out, stiffening my legs and back and taking in a deep breath, allowing the pressure to release. I grabbed on hard to my tits as I came harder than I ever had before. I could feel my juices running down his fingers as he kept the pace until my body once again relaxed.