Her gaze flickered up then and his heart stopped beating for a moment as he realized that she was telling him this for a reason. When his heart started up again it went into a gallop.
Before he could respond, she was shaking her head and rolling her eyes as if irritated with herself. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“What? Why?” His grip on her hand tightened without him meaning to and he loosened it when she looked down at their joined hands. “I mean, why shouldn’t you have said that? We’re being honest here, right?”
She licked her lips and the rare display of nerves made him bite back a groan. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be all right.
But he had no idea what the future held, and she seemed to be thinking the same thing.
“I might never leave,” she repeated slowly. “But I can’t promise that.” She looked up at him and the vulnerability he saw there slayed him to his core.
He knew what she was trying to tell him—she couldn’t have been more clear in spelling it out. She couldn’t promise to stay, just like he’d made it clear that no matter what happened between them, he couldn’t leave his family again.
Her eyes held a question. So where did that leave them? He supposed in her mind the answer was up to him. Was he willing to take a chance on her even if she might end up leaving?
The thought was terrifying. He wasn’t too manly to admit that, even to himself. If they did this and she left…he knew without a doubt that it would crush him.
Even more than that, it would test his loyalty to his family in a way he’d never planned on and wasn’t entirely sure he could handle.
Yet he would have to. He was determined to make a change in his life. But that also meant putting himself on the line. No one ever became a better man by sitting on the sidelines and playing it safe.
His gaze moved over Claire greedily, soaking in the glow of her ivory skin in the lights coming in from outside, the way her dark hair curled around her face, softening her features and letting him see the real woman behind the perfect façade she’d created for herself.
If there was a chance, even just a tiny shot, that she could be his—didn’t he need to take that? Yet, if she left this town and never looked back, his heart would be crushed. They hadn’t even started dating and he already knew he’d lose a part of her heart if she left tomorrow.
But what if she didn’t? What if she found a reason to stay here in Lulu? What if they could give each other the home they were both seeking?
He may have his faults, but he’d never considered himself a coward before. His parents had raised him and his siblings to believe in taking a chance on love.
And that was what he aimed to do.
He shifted so he was facing her in the cab, their hands still joined. “Claire, I’m sorry about that kiss—”
He felt her stiffen instantly beside him as she tilted her head down, avoiding his gaze. “I told you not to apologize—”
“I’m not apologizing for the kiss itself.” He leaned forward so she was forced to look at him. “I wouldn’t take back that kiss for anything.” Reaching out he did what he’d been dying to do for the last ten minutes and stroked her soft cheek with the back of his hand. “That kiss was magic, Clarabelle. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
Her eyes widened and her lips parted with a soft gasp.
“But I do want to apologize because I went about it all wrong. A woman like you deserves to be asked out on a proper date, not kissed like she’s some teenager at a kegger in a dirty old barn.”
Her lips curved up and she chuckled softly.
Man, he loved that sound. From here on out, he aimed to make her laugh every day that he spent with her. He could only hope that time didn’t come to an end anytime soon.
She turned her hand so she could lace her fingers through his. “So, what are you saying, Cole?”
He grinned as his chest swelled with a kind of hope and happiness he hadn’t known he possessed. “Claire Geddy, will you go out with me this Friday night?”
Her smile was slow and sweet, her smile teasing. “Cole Deckland, I would love to.”
Chapter Thirteen
Friday night had seemed to take forever to come around. But now that it was here, Claire wasn’t sure she was ready.
Oh, she was ready, practically speaking. She’d spent an inordinate amount of time in front of her bathroom mirror, applying makeup and curling her hair in a way she hadn’t even thought to do in nearly a year.
All the while her nerves had taken control of her body. Her hands were shaky as she applied mascara, her belly had rebelled at the idea of a late lunch, and her lips were begging her to stop chewing on them already.
This is stupid, she told herself harshly in the mirror as she finally finished primping. She was a grown woman, she’d gone out on dates before. Not to mention, she used to perform in front of hundreds on a regular basis and didn’t get so much as the jitters.
But somehow the prospect of a date with Cole was shaking up her whole world.
It wasn’t just the thought of being alone with the world’s sexiest biker that had her stomach in knots. It was the fact that he’d likely ask about her progress with her task.
She was supposed to be reaching out to her contacts and over the past few days since that epic kiss—which was how her brain insisted on labeling that night—she had made zero progress.
Walking back into the living room where her laptop sat open, she sank down next to it. That wasn’t entirely true. She’d opened her laptop just like this every day since the kiss. Like slowly peeling off an old Band-Aid, she’d gone through the slew of emails in her inbox, had listened to the unheard voicemail messages on her phone. In the days, weeks, and even initial months after her accident, and word had spread through the community, she’d been inundated with an outpouring of gracious and thoughtful remarks.
Some had even checked in multiple times, some of her closer friends had left so many messages, texts, and emails that it had taken her hours to get through them all.
But just like in those first few months, the task of responding had seemed too monumental to consider.
At least now she’d read and listened to the messages. That was a start, wasn’t it? And she’d had every intention of reaching out to these people to help the Decklands.
She glanced at the clock. Cole would be here to pick her up soon. With his ranch at stake, as well as his family home, somehow “it’s the thought that counts” didn’t suffice. Good intentions wouldn’t help Alice book the guest houses for this summer or arrange for any grand events, which is what they’d need to put their place on the radar of the rich and influential.
The thought of seeing the Decklands lose everything—to see Cole lose his family home and land now that he’d just discovered how much it meant to him—that was quite possibly the only thing that could have compelled her to finally bite the bullet and respond to these well-intentioned friends and acquaintances.
Oddly enough, the more casual her acquaintance, the easier it was to reply, so she started with the ones who she knew professionally but not well personally. One was from a former instructor she’d always admired. His thoughtful note about her talent and the community’s loss nearly brought her to tears. Then there were some former classmates from the ballet academy who’d reached out to say how sorry they were to see her burgeoning career come to such an end.
She knew they meant it, too. Professional ballet might be extraordinarily cutthroat and competitive but those within the world know just how hard she’d worked to get where she’d been. Few outside the world could truly understand all she had lost due to one fatal flaw of a ruptured tendon.
To those acquaintances she sent a brief but gracious email in response thanking them for their thoughts and updating them on her new path. She chose to leave out the fact that she was currently running her family’s bar and instead added a postscript about how she had ta
ken on a temporary role at a nearby guest ranch that she was passionate about. She made sure to attach the brochure pictures that Alice had compiled and sent to her the very same night she’d agreed to help.
After sending the first one she felt buoyed, as if just the act of writing positively about her current life was enough to trick her ego into believing it. Or maybe it was just that sending the pictures forced her to think about the Twilight Ranch and her brief time there the other night.
Oh all right, and that kiss.
She certainly did have a one-track mind these days.
She honed her message, tweaking it for the different contacts. Then she moved on to the next group that she’d mentally categorized as friendly acquaintances. Hannah Bailey was one and she supposed most would be nervous about responding to the television star, but she’d never been daunted by the gorgeous starlet’s fame. Maybe because by the time they’d met at a charity function, she was a celebrity in her own right.
They’d both joined the board of a charity that provided arts scholarships to underprivileged inner city children and they’d shared surprisingly fun times together while hosting events or speaking at local schools.
It was with a smile on her face that she replied to Hannah’s gracious and sweet message. With her, she felt confident enough in their former friendship to outright ask for any assistance she might be able to give in spreading the word about her new guest ranch endeavor. Hannah might be kind and humble in person, but she was still a celebrity and her word would carry the kind of trendsetting weight that she needed.
Funny how she’d already started to think of the Twilight Ranch as her project and not just a favor she was doing for the Decklands.
She’d just hit send on Hannah’s email when there was a knock at her door. Grinning, she shot up off the couch. She had to stop herself from running toward the door. Now that he was here, the nerves seemed to ebb and she was drowning in excitement, pure and simple.
When was the last time she’d felt this rush of bubbling enthusiasm? She couldn’t even remember. It reminded her of how she used to feel when she danced, back before it had become her profession and her sole means of making money. Back when it had been her wildest dream and her favorite fantasy.
That pretty much described Cole to a tee, she realized as she threw open the door and saw him standing there with a bouquet of flowers in hand. His dark hair was slicked back slightly, just enough so it didn’t fall into his face like usual. His jaw was clean shaved and, the most shocking part…he wasn’t wearing his trademark leather jacket.
His gaze was moving over her while she studied him and she was grateful to see his unabashed smile of delight. “You look amazing,” he said, his voice filled with awe.
Suddenly she was excessively glad she’d spent so much time primping. It was worth it to see that look in his eyes. Besides that, she felt good. Confident, poised… a little like her old self.
Narrowing her eyes, she pursed her lips teasingly as she gave him another once over. “Who are you and what have you done with Cole Deckland?”
He dropped his head back with a laugh. Ah, there he was. His laughter was irresistible as he ran his free hand over the front of his suit jacket. “Like it? I’m going for a new look tonight.”
She nodded. She did like it, but she also liked the leather jacket. She had a funny feeling she’d like just about any look this man thought to try out. “I’m just glad you’re not wearing a tie,” she said. “I might have fainted from shock.”
His grin made his eyes crinkle up at the corners in the most delicious way. “I thought about it, but then I worried there would be no restaurants that allow a man in with a tie in this state.”
She laughed, the last of her nerves melting away at the familiar teasing. “Good call. We wouldn’t want you to get turned away for being too gussied up.”
He leaned in, handing her the bouquet as he dropped a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Now we just have to worry about you.” His low voice made her shiver as his warm breath tickled her ear.
“What about me?” she asked.
He pulled back and grinned down at her. “You might just be too pretty to take out. You might break some sort of law accidentally distracting every man in sight.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think there’s a law about looking too pretty.”
“Maybe there should be. You’d definitely cause too much of a distraction in this little town of ours.” He cocked his head to the side as he gestured for her to precede him out into the hallway. “How would you feel about a road trip?”
She led the way down the stairs, her heels clunking loudly on the old wooden steps. She’d forgotten how rarely she’d ever worn heels in her hometown. “Road trip?” she echoed, unpleasant thought occurring to her. “You mean, on your bike?”
His laugh cut into her thoughts of messy, wind-blown curls and a frigid ride. “I borrowed Alice’s car.”
“Oh.” They reached the bottom landing and he hurried to hold the door open for her. “Then sure, I’m up for anything.”
She was rewarded with another smile as he held the door open of a compact car that so didn’t seem to suit Cole. But it was far more practical than his bike and less clunky to climb into like the truck, so she wholeheartedly approved.
“Great, then a road trip it is,” he said as he slid in beside her. Gesturing behind them to the backseat, he said, “If you get too hungry, I packed some snacks.”
She watched his profile, his expression filled with an unbridled excitement that perfectly matched her own. Snacks. Cole Deckland had packed snacks for her. It was too cute, really.
Then a new thought occurred to her. “How far are we going if I’m going to require sustenance?”
He shot her a grin. “Bozeman.”
She raised one brow. That was nearly an hour and a half’s drive. “Ashamed to be seen with me in Lulu?” she teased.
His laughter was low and rumbly. “More like, worried about your reputation if you’re seen with me.” He glanced over at her. “Also, it’s impossible to find a restaurant in Lulu that you haven’t been to a million times over and where we won’t be interrupted by town gossips looking to get the scoop on Lulu’s hottest new couple.”
She stared at him as surprise and giddy excitement had her pulse racing. Lulu’s hottest new couple. Were they really a couple? Was that how he thought of her?
She had to focus on taking slow deep breaths to keep from bouncing in her seat with giddy excitement. Was that how she wanted him to think of her?
That stirred up unwanted questions about the future. Questions she couldn’t answer and didn’t want to think about anytime soon. And certainly not now when she was heading out on her dream date with her high school crush.
So instead she focused on the fact that he was taking her out of town on their very first date. “I’m not some excuse for you to run away again, am I?” The moment the teasing words were out of her mouth, she doubted them.
Oh shoot, had she said the wrong thing? Was that topic too sensitive to tease him about?
To her relief, he turned to give her his trademark grin, making his eyes crinkle up in that way that made her stomach do a backflip. “Yeah right,” he said, his voice filled with amusement. “I’ve decided to run away with Lulu’s greatest treasure.” He glanced over and laughter filled his eyes with a mischievous twinkle. “Ruby would have half the town after me by the time we hit the next gas station.”
Claire laughed, relaxing a little more at the easy way he talked. It was like being with an old friend—which she supposed in a way was true. They hadn’t been close back when they were kids, but in a town that small and a school with classes made up of ten kids or less…it was hard not to be pretty familiar. And that familiarity had transitioned into a comfort she didn’t feel around many people, particularly not men.
She let herself relax into it, leaning back in her seat and picking at the chips he offered as he caught her up on what he’d been doi
ng the last few days to ready the barn for dance classes.
Seemed he’d been hard at work on her behalf.
Guilt niggled at her gut until she felt compelled to confess. When he’d finished telling her about the custom barre he and James had made and installed, she interrupted clumsily. “I didn’t make any progress with potential guests.”
He glanced over and she saw his surprise, but luckily no anger.
In fact, he shrugged. “No problem, no one expected it to become your first priority.” His grin made her guilt triple. “We know you have a life to lead.”
Life? What life? Aside from her monotonous job slinging drinks and fried food, she had no life. Even her mother’s world was in such good order, she was hard-pressed to find new ways to get her organized.
She shifted uncomfortably. She could let it slide and just let him assume that she’d been busy. But even though it was just an omission, it would have felt like a lie. She and Cole might not know where this thing they had together was heading, but she knew that he deserved the truth from her. After everything they’d shared in the truck the other night, there was no way she could give him any less.
Licking her lips, she forced herself to spit it out. “I did send out some emails asking people to spread the word, but I didn’t do it until today.”
He glanced in her direction but didn’t say anything. Maybe he could tell that she wasn’t done.
“It wasn’t that I was so busy before today, it’s just….” She bit her lip and looked out the window. Shoot, this shouldn’t be so hard to explain.
She started in surprise when his hand reached out and squeezed hers in comfort. “You don’t have to talk about it.”
“No, it’s okay…it’s just….” She turned to face him. “It’s just not easy to admit what a coward I’ve been.”
He frowned and she knew he was going to try and deny it. Maybe even defend her to herself. But she wasn’t being harsh, she was being real. “It’s true,” she said, adding a rueful smile so he’d know she wasn’t trying to sound pitiful. “I’ve been a coward.”
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