“It’s more than okay, Lo. It’s great.”
He smiled then, giving me that cocky grin I’d grown to love. “Well, yeah, I’m pretty fucking fantastic.”
I laughed and pushed his face away but he grabbed my hand and kissed my open palm. “Really, though, I want you to know that you can trust me.”
“I wouldn’t have slept with you if I didn’t trust you.”
His hand stroked up and down my back as he held me close to him. I was bone tired and sore in the best possible way, in awe of the fact that a little more than a month ago I couldn’t stand Logan and now I was naked in bed with him.
Something tugged at my heart again and I tried to tamp down on it, leaning in to kiss him softly. “Thank you for tonight.”
“For the sex or dinner with my siblings?”
“Both.” I answered honestly. Yeah, the sex was mind blowing and I’d never had that much fun in bed before. It was something I’d never forget. But tonight, Logan let me see a part of him that I had a feeling not many people were privileged enough to see. I was able to see him interact with his family, catch glimpses of vulnerability with his siblings. I got to learn bits and pieces of his childhood, and in such an intimate setting, surrounded by friends and family, I felt honored. It may have sounded strange. Hell, it felt strange. But I was touched.
“Is it safe to say I’m sleeping in this bed with you tonight?”
“You better be.”
Chapter 11
A fter having sex twice more throughout the night we slept well into late morning. The sheets were torn off the bed, the lamp that rested on the nightstand was now on the floor, and there were two bowls of melted ice cream on the floor due to the fact that Logan became way too infatuated with my breasts as I was trying to eat.
Between my legs was sore and I was horrified to see hickies and beard burn scattered across my neck and collarbone. But I couldn’t say it was all bad. Logan had marked me, claimed me, and I was basking in the sense that I felt like I was slowly becoming his as he was becoming mine.
Shit, I’m a mess, I thought as I yanked my bedhead into a messy ponytail. Logan’s henley that he wore last night now hung loosely on my body and I pulled the collar up to my nose, inhaling his scent. I felt like a giddy, lovestruck teenager. I couldn’t seem to help myself.
Maybe all of this was a bad idea and maybe it was going to fall apart, but I’d spent so long hiding away and living a black and white life that when things burst into technicolor I couldn’t help but push the doubts away. At least for now. I wanted to stay in this little bubble with him and figure out the rest later on.
I was wiping excess mascara from underneath my eyes when there was a loud pounding on the front door downstairs. Poking my head out of the bathroom door, I saw Logan struggle to sit up and grab his jeans. There was a loud crack and I had no idea where it came from, but based on the wince he gave, I could only assume it was his RA acting up.
“Do you need help?” I asked softly as he stood, slightly hunched as he pulled his jeans up his legs.
Logan’s eyes met mine and he looked me up and down, my bare legs pressed together and his henley covering me just enough to be decent. “You can help me by getting your fine ass back into bed. Naked, preferably.”
I started laughing but stopped when the pounding started up again. Logan’s eyebrows furrowed and he pointed at me. “Stay here.”
Yeah, right, I thought wryly but nodded, watching the red marks on his back as he retreated downstairs, wincing because I didn’t want anyone to see them. It felt personal, something between the two of us. But then I smiled because, hey, I marked him like he’d done to me, and the thought made me warm.
I was in so over my head and sinking fast, for the first time in my life not thinking about the consequences of my actions. I was so present, so stuck in the here and now, that I didn’t care what happened next. It would change once I had time to slow down and think, maybe once I had time by myself to gather my thoughts. For now, though, I was enjoying myself. I felt my age for once and it felt damn good. Young. Carefree. Alive. Making hasty decisions that made me feel good instead of being scared that I was going to disappoint someone.
The truth was that I didn’t have anyone to disappoint. I had no idea where my parents were, if they were even alive, and Gran was gone. The thought put a slight damper on my good mood, and that wasn’t something I could just push away. I’d never brought a man home to meet Gran because I’d never been serious with anyone, but I had a feeling that I would have brought Logan home to her. I also had a feeling that she would have liked him. The woman had been able to see through everyone’s bullshit, but I had a feeling that even Logan would have been able to charm her with that smile and the mischievous look in his eyes.
I pulled on my jeans, shimmying as I pulled them up my legs before tiptoeing down the hall to the stairs. I craned my neck with my head cocked to the side, listening for any sign of trouble. With how angry the pounding was, I could only assume that something bad was going on.
You’re a damn snoop, I heard Gran’s voice in my head and scowled. I wasn’t snooping, I was just… keeping an eye on Logan. Or an ear.
Whatever.
“You couldn’t have called?” I finally heard him say, his voice still slightly rough from sleep.
“I did call, Logan. Four times. Where the fuck is your phone?” another voice, this one very deep and very unfamiliar, responded.
“Shit,” Logan responded and I heard him move across the room. There was a slight shuffling and I had to assume that he was taking his phone out of his jacket. “I’m sorry, I, uh…” he trailed off.
The man laughed. “Listen, I don’t care what, or who, you were doing, but you should sit down because I’m about to give you some bad fucking news, man.”
I was instantly on alert, straightening my spine as my palms began to sweat. Bad news? Had Conlon done something? My mind began to race as uncertainty settled in my stomach.
“Give me a minute,” Logan said. I couldn’t hear him, but all of a sudden he was at the bottom of the stairs getting ready to call up to me. When he looked up and saw me eavesdropping, his jaw clenched. “Can you come down here?” his voice was tense and I didn’t like it.
Caught, I wrung my hands together and slowly moved down the stairs, stopping in front of him. “Sorry,” I whispered.
He arched a brow and then grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together as he led me into the living room. “Juliette Foster, meet Ronald Hart. This is the guy I was telling you about.”
I looked up at him, startled. “The cop?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Ronald responded and stepped forward, engulfing my hand in his. His skin was dark and his face was friendly, a slight gap in his front teeth.
He was also pushing six foot five and without a doubt the broadest man I’d ever laid eyes on. Even though he was wearing a thermal, I could see the bulge of his biceps and he had those big muscles that connected his neck to his shoulders.
Ronald was huge.
“Nice to meet you,” I said politely as Logan led the three of us to the couch.
Sadie, who had been sitting quiet and alert on her bed, moved towards me when I sat down, resting her head on my knee while I scratched behind her ears. Mac, always the attention whore, shook his head like a maniac with a toy in his mouth.
“Alright, lay it on me,” Logan said and leaned back, extending his arm along the back of the couch. I eyed him carefully and noticed him wince before looking at Ronald to see if he caught it, too. But he didn’t.
Because I was the only person who knew.
Something fiercely primal bloomed in my chest at the knowledge that I was the only person who knew Logan’s secret. I couldn’t explain it, but I liked it, liked knowing that he was comfortable enough to have a certain level of vulnerability with me.
That meant something, right?
Ronald cleared his throat and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He seemed to hesit
ate for a moment, perhaps trying to choose his words carefully before he finally blurted them out. “Nicole’s back.”
Logan’s nostrils flared and his jaw clenched, but he said nothing as he waited for his friend to continue.
“It must have happened yesterday or the day before. I was doing a drive-by last night after my shift ended and saw her standing on the lawn. The girl looked good, man. Put together, like she had her shit together. I don’t know what brought her back.”
Logan was already shaking his head and he stood up, pacing around the living room. He ran his fingers through his unruly blonde locks, bare chest heaving.
I couldn’t imagine what was going through his head. He must have felt betrayed. Angry. Disappointed in his friend’s choice to go back to her abuser. He’d worked so hard to get her out of a bad situation, stood by her side and gone to her rescue so many times. Logan had risked his life, was still risking his life for Nicole and how did she repay him? By coming right back to Boston because she was too weak to stand on her own two feet.
I couldn’t fight off the anger that speared me. I was angry for Logan and wished there was something I could do. Frustration was coming off him in waves and all I wanted to do was get up and wrap my arms around his waist, but I felt that with Ronald there it wouldn’t be appropriate.
“Logan,” I started, but the look he gave me shut me right up.
With eyes that looked black, his cheeks were flushed and his posture was tense. He turned in a circle once, twice, looking a little lost before focusing on Ronald. “You end up getting anything on Conlon?”
“I’m working on it. Give me a few days.”
“You said this would be done in a week,” Logan practically snarled.
Ronald’s eyebrows raised and he stood. “Greg Conlon isn’t my only fucking job, Logan.”
They stood there staring at each other while I sat on the couch, and I’d never felt so small being surrounded by so much testosterone. Logan was practically vibrating with anger and Ronald didn’t look too happy either, and I imagined this wasn’t an ideal situation for anyone involved.
Anyone other than Nicole, anyway.
Finally, Logan relented and then shook his head. “Look, my bad, okay? I just… I wasn’t expecting this shit.”
“I don’t think any of us were. Get in touch with Nicole and tell her to figure her shit out.”
“Trust me, I will.”
“Great,” Ronald nodded with his hands on his hips. “Can we kiss and make up now? I think we’re scaring your girlfriend.”
Logan’s eyes shifted to the ground and he shook his head. “She’s just my neighbor.”
I wasn’t stupid. I knew that one night together didn’t mean we were in a relationship, but I thought I was more than just a neighbor. Or, I thought I was more than just a friend. But the fact that Logan couldn’t even look at me spoke volumes about where we stood with each other.
I suddenly felt uncomfortable and wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. I wasn’t sure if it was because Ronald referred to me as Logan’s girlfriend or if it was Logan’s lack of response, but I wanted to go home. Not upstairs to his bed, but home. My home with my things and sleeping in my bed. The fact that he didn’t even have the decency to look at me made me feel unwanted, and I hated that it hurt me so much.
“I’m not his girlfriend.” I laughed and then stood, reaching out to shake his hand with a fake smile plastered on my face. “Mr. Hart, it was so nice to meet you. I need to head upstairs and pack my things, though. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
“Enjoy the rest of your day, Juliette,” he responded and nodded, flashing a handsome smile.
I took the stairs two at a time, ignoring the twinge in my heart as I moved around the room, throwing clothes into my bag. Of course I wasn’t Logan’s girlfriend. I wasn’t dumb enough to think that I was, but I thought we were turning into something. I was sure it had something to do with Nicole, but until he got that figured out I was going to stay away, give him his space to figure things out.
Maybe it would be good to get some space. Not breathing the same oxygen as Logan would help me get my bearings and give me some perspective. It was painfully obvious that I was getting too wrapped up in what happened last night. I wasn’t a lovesick teenager but an adult who didn’t get wrapped up in a man because of sex.
Even if the sex was out of this world.
I zipped up my duffel bag and then looked down, realizing that I was still wearing his shirt. I quickly whipped it over my head and tossed it on the unmade bed, shrugging into a sweatshirt.
I was lacing up my boots when I felt Logan’s presence in the room. Not looking up, I said, “So, I’m gonna head out. I’m sure you have a lot to do and I have to be up early tomorrow for work.”
He didn’t respond and I finally looked up, peeking at him through my lashes. His face was impassive, expressionless as he stood with his hands in his pockets. I didn’t like the empty look on his face and wished there was something I could do, but I didn’t know what he wanted. I felt like we were in limbo and it made me wonder what that meant for us as friends. Or lovers. Or something else entirely.
“I thought we agreed that you would stay until all of this was over.”
Me, too. But plans change, I thought to myself and stood. “I think it’s for the best if I go home. We don’t want things to get… complicated.” I gestured between us.
I turned and grabbed my bag, my grip tightening on the straps as he walked up behind me, warmth radiating from him and seeping through my shirt. Logan pressed his forehead against my shoulder, his breath on my neck. “It was a kneejerk reaction. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t want him to be sorry. Hell, I didn’t even want him to feel bad. But it hurt that he was so quick to respond, almost like he was afraid.
Shit. Was he? Was it fear that caused him to respond the way he did? I didn’t want Logan to feel obligated to do or say anything he didn’t feel comfortable with, and I sure as hell didn’t want him to think that I was an all or nothing kind of woman. This whole thing was just as new for me as it was for him and I was still confused about my own feelings.
I was growing attached. Quickly. I cared if his RA was acting up and cared if he had dinner or not. I cared if he was stressed or upset. I cared in a way that was more than a friend and it was scaring the ever loving shit out of me.
“I’m not mad at you,” I finally responded and turned around, feeling his arms wrap around my waist as he held me against him. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I was just a little caught off guard.”
“I know, and I didn’t mean for that to happen. He just…”
“Said the word girlfriend and you felt like your balls were in a vise grip?”
Logan laughed really hard and then pressed his lips to my forehead, still chuckling as we swayed from side to side. I was starting to think that was a thing for us; our weird little dance was something that only the two of us shared.
“Look,” I said as I slid my hands up his arms. “I don’t need you to call me your girlfriend or your fuck buddy or your wife. I just want to know that I’m something, Logan. Maybe a little more than just your neighbor.”
He was nodding before I even finished my sentence. “There’s just a lot going on, especially now with Nicole coming back and fucking everything up. But I promise you are more than that, J. After all of this is said and done I’m gonna wine and dine you so good, it’ll knock your socks off.”
I laughed and nodded before looking over my shoulder at my packed bag. “I should go, though. You have some things to figure out and I’m so behind on things at work. Rose is going to kick my ass tomorrow if I don’t go through the list of adoption papers tonight.”
It was obvious that he wanted to say something, but instead he kept his mouth shut and nodded before reaching around and taking my bag. “Fine, then at least let me walk you home. Now that Nicole’s back, I have a feeling Conlon and his buddies won’t be sniffing around here. At leas
t for the time being. But I need to get in touch with her and see where the fuck her mind’s at.”
We walked back to my house hand in hand with Sadie trotting along in front of us. Logan seemed quiet, reserved, and I couldn’t help but feel bad that he had so much going through his head. I was worried about both his physical and mental strength and made sure he knew to call or text if he needed anything.
Something bad was coming. I felt it and I had a feeling Logan felt it, too. The air was cold and we were in the dead of winter with Christmas fast approaching. But nothing about the holidays felt happy. No, a storm was coming and unless we put a stop to all of this we’d all be ruined.
THE NEXT TWO days I was slammed at work, and it was more than adoption applications. Something was wrong with the heating vents in the barn and two of my dogs were in the vet’s office because of a nasty case of fleas, which meant that I had to check the other dogs for fleas three times a day and scrub each kennel, as well as order two new dog beds and still make sure each of the dogs had some outdoor time, even with all of the snow on the ground.
It was stressful, to say the least.
It didn’t help that both Rose and Violet were on top of me fishing for information about what had gone on between me and Logan. Violet saw the hickies on my neck- I’d texted Logan that night and told him that if he was going to leave a mark on me then it couldn’t be in a place where people could see. He’d replied with some very, ahem, creative alternatives- and all bets were off.
“We slept together!” I finally shouted as the three of us walked some of the dogs along the path. The trees arched over us, snow capped and beautiful as my breath came out in small clouds. It was cold and I knew the tip of my nose was red, but I took a moment to enjoy the simple beauty of it all.
“I knew it!” Violet shouted and pumped her fist in the air.
Rose rolled her eyes. “And? Was it a one time thing, or…”
Reckless and Wild: A Small Town Romantic Suspense (Port James Series Book 1) Page 9