My eyes watered and I sniffled, wiping at my eyes. My cheek was swollen from Conlon slapping me and there was a jagged cut from the tree branch. I looked and felt like a mess, but I was alive.
I was alive and going home.
With Logan.
I looked up at him and smiled, resting my chin on his shoulder.
He regarded me seriously, those chocolate eyes that I loved so much boring into mine with such an intensity it made my heart flutter.
“Say it again,” he said after a moment, his voice rough with emotion.
My eyebrows furrowed. “Say what?”
“You know what. Say it, Juliette. Tell me.”
I smiled and let out a shaky breath, so lost in love, lost in Logan, that I wasn’t sure I’d ever find my way back. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Leaning up, I kissed the tip of his nose and then pressed my lips softly to his, lingering there for a moment with his bottom lip tucked between both of mine.
“I love you,” I whispered against his mouth. “I love you more than my little house, Logan. I love you more than my isolation. I love you more than I love myself and I never thought I’d feel that way about anyone. But I do. I love you and I’ll never stop.”
He smiled, and I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes, but soon he was blinking and they were gone. He turned, cupping my face between his hands and swiping his thumbs under my eyes. I didn’t even realize I’d started crying as I spoke the most brutally honest words I’d ever said.
“You know,” he started and then shook his head. “I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone. I never thought I’d want to share a life with anyone, let alone share a life with my uptight neighbor with the fiery hair and perpetual frown. You have turned my whole fucking world upside down, J. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m not letting you go now. Me and you? We make a good goddamn team and I’ll be damned if I’m about to let that slip away now that we finally have a chance at normalcy. I love you, Juliette. So fucking much. I always have.”
“Always have?”
“Always will.”
Chapter 21
“A re you sure this is a good idea?” I asked a few days later as Logan and I walked up the walkway in front his parents’ house. It was Christmas Day- well, technically Christmas night- and, considering I hadn’t exactly left on good terms with the Ashford clan, I didn’t think I’d be a welcome guest at their annual Ashford Christmas bash.
He placed a still bruised hand on the small of my back and guided me up the front steps with a low chuckle. “Trust me, I want to be here about as much as you do. But my dad asked me to be here, and after what happened the other night, I don’t want to leave things unsaid with anyone. Including my dysfunctional family.”
I glanced over at him and smiled. Logan not avoiding his family was a huge step and I had to admit that honesty looked good on Logan, as did the clothes he was wearing. Black slacks, a black button down and a burgundy tie had my boyfriend looking like some sort of dangerous, don’t-fuck-with-me man and it was definitely turning me on.
We’d spent the last few days giving our statements to BPD, visiting Nicole in the hospital and visiting Ronald at home. He’d been in a foul mood then, having just found that he was on desk duty until he got the all clear from his doctor. His wife, God bless her, was patient and kind, but even she lost her temper with him once or twice.
As for Conlon, we didn’t know much, but with my testimony paired with Nicole’s, things weren’t looking good for him. As well as a charge for domestic abuse, Conlon was also being charged with kidnapping and two counts of attempted murder. Needless to say, he’d be going away for a long, long time and he wouldn’t be hurting anyone ever again. Nicole was finally free of the prison Conlon had confined her to. She was getting the fresh start she always wanted but didn’t know how to get. After a few more days of psychiatric help, Logan and I would be helping her figure out a plan for what to do next and, until then, she’d be staying at Logan’s.
I finally started sleeping in my own bed again, much to Logan’s dismay. We- I- came to the decision that I wouldn’t be moving in with Logan. We had, after all, only begun our relationship a little while ago. Everything was new and I didn’t want to move too fast. Not while we had time to figure everything out and move slow. I was only three houses down and we were still spending our free time together. But the only reason I was staying with Logan in the first place was because Conlon was a wild card and making threats against me. Now that he was behind bars, well, I didn’t need the protection anymore.
In an alternate universe, Logan and I were living together with a bevy of pets and enjoying our happily ever after.
Realistically, however, our relationship was brand spanking new and I was determined not to rush into things. No matter how much I loved him. No matter how much I loved sleeping in that big comfy bed. Right now, sleeping in my own bed under my own roof was the best decision for both of us. But that didn’t mean Logan hadn’t slept in my bed already once or twice, even though we technically didn’t get much “sleep”.
I hadn’t seen or spoken to anyone in his family since our last visit to his parents’ place and my stomach was in knots as we entered the way too familiar foyer. The house was filled with people dressed up and everyone had a drink in their hand. I could definitely use a stiff drink right about now, I thought and then grimaced. I hoped and prayed that tonight wouldn’t be awful. I was always so lonely around the holidays, this was the first one since Gran’s death that I didn’t feel completely alone.
“You made it!” Abby appeared next to us with a tentative smile on her face. She looked nervous, like she didn’t know where she stood with her brother, or with me.
I was in the same boat, convinced that Abby hated me for not telling her the truth about what was going on with Logan. “Hi…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
Her blue eyes darted down to Logan’s left hand. “Is that… is that a cane? Are you okay?”
He had been so reluctant to use his cane tonight, but his arthritis was acting up in a bad way and he needed it. He was sore, aching, could barely stand up this morning. It had taken some convincing, but Logan finally agreed to use his cane tonight. He’d been honest with his family about everything else, he needed to be honest about this too.
“I’m fine.” Logan nodded his reassurance. “Really. I need it from time to time, and tonight just so happens to be one of those times.”
She hesitated for a second and then nodded, leaning forward and kissing his cheek lightly, wiping her lipstick away after. “Merry Christmas. Let’s go get drinks for you guys.”
We followed her through the throng of people that congregated in the large room, moving into the sprawling kitchen that looked as though it was never used. “Mom’s already drunk,” she said over her shoulder as she poured us two hearty glasses of wine.
“Of course she is.”
Abby turned to face us and tapped a finger against her own glass. “But, Lo… um, I’m pretty sure Robbie wanted to talk to you.”
I saw him hesitate for the briefest of moments before nodding. He leaned down and kissed my temple, smoothed a hand over my hair and then hobbled off, leaning on his cane. I watched him go, proud that he’d been brave enough to come here tonight, brutally honest about the disease that would plague him for the rest of his life. He was facing that head on, and I was damn proud to be by his side.
Abby and I stood there for a few awkward, tense moments, both of us looking around and not making eye contact. Finally, she cleared her throat and I looked at her through my lashes, taking a small sip of what was possibly the nicest cabernet I’d ever had.
“So, um, about last week…” she started.
I waved my hand, really not wanting to get into it. “It’s fine. Really. I understand.”
She adamantly shook her head. “No, it isn’t okay. I never should have reacted like that. Of course it wasn’t your place to tell me what was going on with Logan and I shouldn’
t have acted like it was. The both of you must have felt so attacked by me, by Robbie. Our mother.”
“Abby, really. It’s fine. Logan was keeping secrets for a really long time and then he unloaded a lot of stuff on you guys that day. I’m sure it was overwhelming. I don’t blame anyone for their reaction.”
She bit her bottom lip. “So, are we okay? You don’t hate me?”
“Of course I don’t hate you!”
She put her glass down and hugged me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and squeezing tight. “I really like you, Juliette. I think you’re really good for my brother.”
I smiled, my cheeks heating. “Thanks. He’s… he’s really special.”
We made small talk after that, laughing and drinking as she introduced me to some of her family members. Simone was there, looking beautiful in a long silver gown with a black velvet shawl over her shoulders and not a stitch of makeup on her face other than a deep red lip. She was so effortlessly beautiful, smiling and talking to everyone.
Everyone other than Robbie.
I was trying to find the bathroom when I nearly walked into Genevieve, who looked beautiful in a green wrap dress with her hair pulled up in a twist. She regarded me coolly and I straightened my shoulders, preparing for her to tell me to get the hell out of her house.
But she didn’t.
“You look nice.” she remarked and looked me up and down, taking note of the dark blue sweater dress I wore.
“Thank you,” I responded quietly. “So do you.”
“You’re here with Logan, I assume?”
“Yes. He’s around here somewhere.”
“I saw him.” Genevieve pointed somewhere behind her. “I saw that he had a cane.”
I nodded my head, my heart beating just a fraction faster.
She sipped her wine thoughtfully and looked around. I didn’t know if that was my cue to be dismissed, so I stayed where I was, looking out at the crowd with her.
Genevieve eventually drained her glass and then cleared her throat. “I don’t believe my son would have told me the truth if it weren’t for you.”
I paused. That was the last thing I expected her to say. How was I supposed to respond to that? I was expecting an argument, and the woman standing before me was not the same woman who had accused her son of being a drug addict just days before. I was caught off guard, wondering if it was a trap when she started speaking again.
“He’s always been a bit wild, that one. Logan was never a follower, always a leader. You definitely can’t tell him what to do.”
“No, you can’t.” I agreed.
“You’ve changed him,” Genevieve said and looked me in the eye. They were the same exact color as Logan’s and it took my breath away. She really was a beautiful woman. “I can see it in the way he looks at you. He’s different.”
“I-”
“And I may not like the way you spoke to me the other day,” she continued, talking over me. “But you make him happy. You keep him grounded. That’s all I care about.”
I didn’t know what to say. “Well, good. That’s all I care about too.”
Genevieve gave me the ghost of a smile and then nodded curtly. “Enjoy the rest of your evening, Juliette.”
I smiled and nodded, watching as she walked away. I was still trying to find the bathroom when I felt a familiar hand on the small of my back.
I turned and smiled up at Logan. “Well, hey there.”
“Did I just see you talking to my mother?” he asked with an arched eyebrow, his hand sliding down to squeeze my butt.
“You did. She told me I changed you.”
“She’s not wrong.”
Smiled and leaned up, pressing my lips to his. “How did things go with Robbie?”
He turned us and we headed towards the kitchen. “We came to an understanding. Everything’s fine. Well, mostly everything.”
I turned, hating how serious he sounded. “What’s wrong?”
He sighed and then frowned, shaking his head. My heart leapt into my throat.
“It’s just… I hate the fact that I can’t get you out of this fucking dress right now.”
I laughed, shaking my head and slapping a hand against his chest. I was so crazy in love with him. With his sarcasm and his laugh, the smile that lit up his entire face. I was so in love with the way he looked at me.
“Later,” I promised with a wink.
THE PARTY WASN’T COMPLETELY awful. Well, for the most part. Eventually, Genevieve got way too drunk and started picking fights with everyone, including me and poor Knox. The place cleared out soon after that with Robert and Robbie helping Genevieve up to bed. We offered to stick around and help clean up, but Abby insisted we leave. I had a feeling it was because she and Knox were hoping to sneak off for some alone time, but I wasn’t going to say that to Logan.
We sang the whole way home with me dancing in the passenger seat.
Things came so easily for us. Smiling with him was easy, laughing with him was easy. Loving Logan was the easiest thing I ever did.
I ran my fingers through his hair as he pulled into his parking spot, my fingers tugging at the hair at his nape lightly.
Logan smiled, grabbing my hand and kissing my knuckles. “Always have?”
“Always will,” I whispered.
It seemed that saying that was our thing. Huh. I never thought I’d have a thing with anyone. But there I was sitting in the front seat, hopelessly in love, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
We walked to his house hand in hand, greeted by Mac and Sadie as soon as we were over the threshold. Whenever one of us was gone, we left the dogs together. It seemed as though they’d become best friends, nearly inseparable.
“You know what my favorite part about tonight was?” Logan asked as he locked the door, turning me in his arms.
“What?”
“That smile.” he responded, the tip of his finger tracing my mouth.
I gave an ear to ear grin and then playfully took his finger his finger in my mouth, swirling my tongue around the digit and sucking all the way down to his knuckle.
His smile vanished, jaw clenching as his eyes zeroed in on my mouth. When he went to pull his hand away I grabbed his wrist with both hands, looking up into his eyes as I repeated the motion, my tongue circling his finger.
“Every part of you tastes so good,.” I whispered as he cupped my face with both hands.
“Funny,” he whispered back, his lips millimeters from mine. “I was just about to say the same thing.”
Logan’s mouth crashed against mine in a bruising kiss. I clung to him, opening my mouth against his onslaught while he swallowed my moan. He backed up against the side of the couch, fingers tearing at my coat and pushing it off my shoulders while I did the same to him. I giggled against his mouth at his impatience, biting his bottom lip and tugging until he groaned.
“Vixen,” he said against my mouth. “You’re a fucking vixen.”
We tumbled onto the couch and I laughed until I saw the pained look on his face. I quickly tried to get off him but he grabbed my hips, holding me against him. “I’m fine.”
I shook my head. “Lo, I-”
He clapped a hand over my mouth and flipped us over, shoving my dress up over my hips and settling himself between my legs. I felt his erection right there and my eyelids fluttered closed, my back arching instinctively.
“I want this. Want you. Always.”
The sincerity in his voice brought tears to my eyes and he kissed me again. Slowly. Tenderly. But I didn’t want slow and tender. I needed him. Craved him. Wanted him inside me as soon as humanly possible.
“Lo,” I moaned, my hands tugging frantically at his tie. He helped, his fingers deftly undoing the knot at his throat.
I watched, mouth watering as he slid the silk tie off, draping it over the side of the couch as he knelt between my spread thighs. His big hands splayed across my creamy skin, kneading the velvety soft skin of my inner thighs as his eyes drank
me in hungrily. His thumbs traced tantalizing circles closer and closer to where I needed him most.
When he brushed his knuckles over the thin material that covered my center, my jaw went slack and my mind blanked. I couldn’t even speak, could only feel. I felt his hands push my dress up and pull it over my head. I felt him unclasp my bra and toss it away.
I felt how much I loved him.
“Need you,” I gasped, sitting up and unbuttoning the dress shirt he wore. It was off within seconds and then he was tugging his undershirt over his head, his blonde hair mussed and sexy, and I loved it so fucking much.
I licked my lips as I eyed his cock straining against his pants, palming him teasingly. He was achingly hard and the small amount of pressure I applied made him growl low in his throat. The sound shot right to my core.
“Stand up.” he commanded and pulled me to my feet, his hands sliding around to grip my ass. “Mine,” he said against my mouth.
I nodded my head, my tongue flicking out and catching his top lip. Within seconds, Logan’s fingers hooked into my underwear and tugged them down so they pooled at my ankles, tangled around the black pumps I wore. When I went to take the shoes off, Logan stopped me, shaking his head and tucking his knuckles under my chin, tilting my face up so that our eyes met.
“Those stay on,” he whispered seductively, darkly. “You’re going to be dirty for me tonight, aren’t you? You want it?” He placed my palm over his cock, closing my fingers around the base of it.
I nodded my head, completely hypnotized by him. “Fuck, I want it.”
“That’s my girl,” Logan crooned before dropping to his knees. I heard the telltale crack as his joints popped, but I bit my lip instead of saying something because I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
He helped me step out of my underwear and then slid his hands up the backs of my legs, fingers trailing lightly over the backs of my thighs. “I can see how wet you are,” he grunted as he shouldered his way between my legs and widened my stance. My cheeks flamed at his words. “I fucking love it. I love how this is all for me.”
Reckless and Wild: A Small Town Romantic Suspense (Port James Series Book 1) Page 19