by Sidharth
`I just ... It was just ... for one moment. But it passed. I was not going to do it ... I just ...'
`What if you had? What if that moment had not passed? What if you had taken the pills before the moment passed?'
`But I did not! And things are better now. I am okay. I really am ... You don't have to worry about me,' she said, cringing at the look on Amitabh's face. Amitabh wanted to tell her everything. He wanted her to know that it was him who had the affair and not her mother.
`How was I to know? I could not just assume so. What if you had tried something again? I could not sit here and do nothing. I needed to talk about it to someone.'
`You didn't have to tell her.'
`Who else? Deny it all you want, but she is your mother,' Amitabh said. He sat down on a chair lying nearby, as if unable to stand anymore. `Had something happened to you, I could not have faced it alone.'
They stayed silent after that. Natasha had tears in her eyes. So did Amitabh. Natasha meant everything for him. After his wife left, his daughter was the only thing that kept him going. It would have killed him to see her go.
I could have saved her. The thought would have haunted him forever.
He would never have been able to forgive himself. He wouldn't have been able to carry on. He was already a failed man with a failed marriage and a daughter he couldn't keep happy.
`Could you leave us alone?' Amitabh looked at Natasha's mother. Natasha's mom left with tears in her eyes.
Amitabh's tears started to trickle down his cheek. He didn't remember the last time he had cried. He was a rock. He was known to be. The smart, business magnate who wasn't fazed by anything.
Natasha went to her dad and bent down on her knees in front of his chair. He looked up and met her eye.
`I'm sorry,' she whispered.
`Did you not think about me even once?' Amitabh asked. The question had haunted him ever since he had spotted the bottle of sleeping pills.
`I did. I'm sorry, Dad. Please ...'
`Don't ever do such a thing again. You have no idea what I went through,' he said, sadly. He had failed as a father. As a husband.
She sniffed. `I won't. I promise I will never do such a thing again. I don't know why I was going to do it, but ... I would not have. I had thought against it before you came to my room that day ...'
`What made you change your mind?'
`I told you-the moment just kind of passed ... after I got Shreya's call.'
`Is there something you want to tell me?' Amitabh asked.
`It is all okay now, Dad. I am keeping myself away from the things that drove me to that stupid decision.'
He nodded. She got up on her feet.
`Dad ... what did you want to tell me? You and Mom were talking about something now ... ?'
He took a moment to answer that. `We were talking about her coming back. We want her to shift back here ...'
`In this house? With us? Please tell me it's not like that'
`Listen to me first. There are things that you don't understand. Give it some time and it will make sense to you. She is your mother and she needs you. You need her.'
`But she left ... she never loved me ...' Natasha said softly.
`She came back, didn't she? Can't we try to leave the past behind? Can't we concentrate on what lies ahead of us?'
`Why did she go?'
`I cannot answer that question, not now,' her dad said.
`Then I can't forgive her either.'
`Try to understand, beta. Some things just. . .'he sighed. `I want her here. You need a mother. I cannot do this alone anymore.'
`You don't need to worry about me.'
`It is not that simple, Natasha. Just think about it, okay? You know she won't shift back unless it's okay with you. We are leaving it up to you.'
She did not say anything. Amitabh wished she would understand and let her mother come back and live with them. He wanted them to be together. He was scared about Natasha. He was seeing her destroy herself.
Finally, her dad said, `You should go to sleep now.'
`Yeah ... the quiz ...' she mumbled.
`That too. Do well, beta.'
She nodded. `Is she staying here tonight?' They both knew who she was talking about.
`Yes. For tonight. It's late.'
She nodded again and left for her room. Amitabh stepped into her room late at night. Natasha was sleeping. Like a child. He liked that. Maybe Natasha would understand, after all.
11 their preparation for the quiz went down the drain. The questions asked in the first round were as basic as they could be. It seemed like the teachers were only looking for a way to select one group out of so many students. It was a mere formality. Though Natasha thought others might have had a little difficulty in answering the questions.
`Shit. Like really. We studied so much . . .' Natasha said after they handed in their answer sheets.
`Never mind. At least we did fine,' Shreya said.
`Yeah. That's a good thing. I guess we might make it.
`Not if we had left it up to you,' Vicky said from behind them.
They turned around. Natasha and Vicky had had more than one argument in the half hour they had taken to answer the questions. She wanted no more of it. `Get rid of him,' she said to Shreya and went to stand a little away. She could still hear the conversation.
`I told you it will be aspirin. But you listened to her,' Vicky said.
`What do you mean?' Shreya asked.
`The answer is aspirin. The carboxyl group COOH is in aspirin, not picric acid,' he said. `And in the cyanide extraction process of silver, the agents are oxygen and zinc!'
`How can you be sure?'
`I just Googled it,' he waved his phone in front of her face. `If we lose because of her ...'
`Relax. Just a couple of questions. It's hardly going to matter,' Shreya tried to calm him.
`Seriously? Two incorrect answers because of her. There are people who had all answers correct. We stand no chance.'
`How many answers did we get wrong?'
`Just these two. Both because of her,' he said with gritted teeth.
`Enough, loser. Stop crying like a baby,' Natasha came closer to Vicky and said. `Why the hell are you so interested in the freaking quiz anyway?'
`Because I studied for it. Unlike you. Chemistry was yours. You were supposed to know, weren't you? Or did you not study inorganic?'
`One wrong answer. Big deal.'
`Two-' he started, but Natasha cut him off.
`You didn't know it either. You were just guessing.'
`I told you it would be oxygen and zinc.'
`Oh please. Let go, okay?. We got two answers incorrect. Just two. So we did very well and we have a very good chance of making it. So, stop fretting,' Shreya intervened.
`Yeah. Buzz off,' Natasha added.
And before he had a chance to say anything else, they turned around and left. It was like old times! Shreya had taken her side, even when she was the one at fault. But that' what best friends do. The thought came to her mind before she could stop it. Her heart skipped a beat for she had a friend after long. Someone who would stand up for her.
When they got out of Vicky's earshot, Shreya said, `Can I ask you something?'
`Yes?'
`Did you prepare Chemistry for the quiz?'
Natasha chuckled. `You know, don't you?'
`I thought so, but I was not sure. Tell me. Did you study at all?'
`Yeah. A little. Like-one topic. After that, you asked me to study with you, and we started Physics. So I didn't get time.'
`But you suggested Physics, I didn't.' Shreya was still a little confused.
`Yes, I did. Because I wanted to know more than Vicky about his subject!'
`Oh! Now I get it.'
`Okay. Enough about the quiz and studies now. I'm bored. Shall we do something?' Natasha asked.
`Eat, probably? I'm starved.'
`Let's go out after the classes are over?' Natasha asked
.
`Sure thing.'
The school ended in a bit and they went to eat something at the KFC nearby. They ate, they laughed, and they cribbed about how much they ate. It didn't end there. The very next day, and the day next to it, they found themselves in the corner seat of the KFC outlet. It had started to become a routine. A week passed and things were changing drastically.
Natasha's life was no longer about sadness and revenge. It was about little chicken burgers and movies after school. She didn't forget anything. But other things started to take a backseat. She was happy.
And even though Natasha loved every minute she spent with Shreya, there was a constant fear at the back of her head. What if Shreya found out about the magazines? What if she never forgave her and never talked to her again? She was afraid that the truth would ruin their newly rekindled friendship.
But she could not keep it a secret anymore either. Shreya had always been good to her. She deserved the truth. Natasha felt something that she had not felt before guilt. And it was not the usual tinge. It was a constant and jab. She hated to have caused so much pain and humiliation to Shreya once upon a time, for her own selfish motives. And she hated to keep it a secret anymore. But she was scared.
After thinking long and hard, she decided to tell Shreya all about it. She would lay it all out in the open and she would apologize. Then, she would hope that Shreya forgave her. She knew it was too much to ask of anybody, but she could not help it. She needed her too much.
Exactly a week after the first round of the quiz was held, the results were out. One team from every section. Natasha crossed her fingers. One team, out of so many.
She was not scared of Vicky, but she did not want another argument with him. `Two incorrect answers ... if we lose because of her ...' Phew. She could not stand that guy at all. She did not relish the thought of her team losing in the first round itself, because of those two answers. The names of the four selected teams were up on the noticeboard. Everyone rushed to check if they had made it, but Natasha hung back.
`What? Let's go!' Shreya said.
`No. You check and tell me?' Natasha suggested.
`Are you nervous?' Shreya looked surprised.
I just want us to make it. Now go!'
They had made it ... to the second round. And they had done it in style.
nanya looked at Yuvraj. He had been acting weird since the last few days. She had a feeling that something was wrong, and she asked him about it more than once, but he just did not tell her. She was getting concerned about him. She had no idea what had been bothering him.
`So, are you excited about it?' she asked.
`The quiz? No, not really,' Yuvraj replied without taking his eyes off the road. They were driving back home from school. Yuvraj came from a family of hardworking parents. Both IlTians and both from the IIMs. Yuvraj always had money, though he never abused it. He used the school bus on most occasions.
`Why? We are entering the second round. I think that's exciting.'
`Hmm.'
`Do you know who are selected from the other three sections?' Ananya asked.
'No.'
`Why are you acting like this? Could you please tell me?' she asked for the zillionth time.
`Acting like what? I don't know what you're talking about.'
`You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Please, Yuvraj? Don't be like this. Tell me what's wrong?'
`Nothing is wrong. I've already told you,' he said, with his eyes still set on the road.
They did not speak after that. When Ananya got home, she kept feeling a little disgruntled. She wanted to know what was bothering Yuvraj. She could not bear to see him that sad. For the last few days, he had seemed lost in some other world. Even on the day of the quiz, he had only answered the questions he knew. No discussions. He was barely even speaking anymore.
Ananya and Yuvraj's relationship was perfect. Cute times spent in the last seat of the class, scribbling on notebooks, long late-night chats on the phone. Everything was straight out the fairy tales. The only few times that they had fought was over Rishab. Ananya loved Yuvraj. And though Yuvraj knew that, he was always very insecure about Ananya talking to Rishab.
Ananya was restless. She had to talk to Yuvraj.
A little while later, she dropped Yuvraj a text message.
Ananya: Can we talk?
Yuvraj: Yes?
Ananya: Will you tell me what's wrong?
Yuvraj: Nothing is.
Ananya: Quit it, Yuvraj. I need to know. Please.
Five minutes later, she got a call from him.
'Hi.'
`Yuvraj ... tell me, please? What is it about?' she pleaded.
`Rishab,' he replied shortly.
`Rishab? What do you mean? What happened?'
`Don't act as if you do not know anything. We both know what is going on.'
`No! I do not know what is going on. I do not have any idea what you are talking about,' she said, shocked.
`Don't act innocent. Just tell me-since when has it been going on?'
`Since when has what been going on? What are you saying, Yuvraj?'
`I'm asking-since when have you been meeting Rishab without telling me?' he shouted at her.
`What? You think ... you think I'm ... cheating on you . . . ?' Ananya was speechless. She had not been expecting that at all.
`I don't think you are cheating on me. I know you're meeting him without telling me. What do I make of it?'
`Where is this coming from? Why do you think I'm ... ? Don't you trust me?' her voice trailed away.
`Oh, stop it already! And be honest.'
`What do you want to know?'
`Everything. What. Why. When. Where. I want to know everything about it. How many times have you met him?' Yuvraj asked.
`You don't want to know the if of it?'
All I know is that Natasha saw you and Rishab on your date. And I know she could have been lying, but I know she was not. I can tell her truths and lies apart.'
`She said that she saw us together and you just assumed that we were on a date? That I have met him before, too, and not let you know?' Ananya asked.
`Why the secrecy? Why didn't you tell me? What's there to hide?'
`Because I didn't get a chance to tell you the day after my `date' with Rishab. That day, Natasha saw us in the library . . . and since then, nothing has been the same. You have been in this weird mood ... I did not want to bother you.'
`Then ... it was not a date?' he asked.
Ananya stayed silent.
`Tell me it was not! That's all I want to know!' Yuvraj prodded. His tone changed. Ananya knew that he had realized that he was wrong.
`Your distrust is insulting,' she said shortly.
`I'm sorry, baby! I trust you. I do. But when Natasha ...'
`You believed in what she had to say. You did not even feel the need to ask me once.' These were statements. Her tone was not questioning. She felt cheated; she was giving her all in their relationship, and he trusted her so little?
She had tears in her eyes. She had been worried about Yuvraj . . . when in all that time, he had been thinking that she was cheating on him. She was hurt. She didn't want to talk to him. She hung up and threw her phone on the bed.
He called her as soon as she hung up. But she did not take his calls. She was in no condition to talk. She needed some time to herself. But when she saw the phone ringing, she just could not not receive the call. It was after all Yuvraj ... she could never be mad at him for long. She realised that.
She took his call.
`Hello? Ananya? Ananya, are you there?' he asked frantically.
`Yes,' she sniffed.
`I'm so sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt you ...I
'I know'
`Please don't cry. I'm really sorry. Am I forgiven?' he asked.
`Do you trust me?'
`Yes. Yes, I do. I trust you completely. It was stupid of me not to ask you about it, I know. I just ...'
'What? Why did you not ask me about it?' Ananya asked.
`I wanted to. But I did not like it that you met him and kept it from me. I wanted you to tell me about it yourself.'
`I was going to! But you seem so stressed already-'
`I know. I know. I realize that it is my fault. And I promise it'll never happen again. I trust you. And I love you ... will always do. Am I forgiven now?' Yuvraj asked.
`Hmm,' she replied softly.
`Cool. So, that done, tell me-how soon can you meet me?'
Now?,
`Yes, now! I need you. I have been missing you,' he said.
`Why should I care? I was right there with you all the time. You were too busy doubting me!'
`I know. Stupid me. But I said sorry. And you said I'm forgiven. So a make-out should follow, right? Make up make out?'
`Pervert,' Ananya laughed. They bantered around like that for a while. She was relieved that things were back to normal. She then told him about what had happened with Rishab. She could tell that he was relieved that she did not have anything for Rishab. He must have been stressed about it. It was not the first time there had been a rift between them because of Rishab. She hoped Rishab would just understand how things stood. That she loved Yuvraj more than anything else in the world. The last few days had been really tough on her.
She wished Natasha would not cause any more trouble.
t had been three days Natasha had been holding on to the video from the surveillance tapes of the library. The security guard still thought she was the Head Girl and gave it to her. It clearly showed Ananya and Yuvraj kissing and making out. Clear enough to get both of them expelled and humiliated in front of their parents.
All she had to was to mention the date and the time of the video to the school authorities. It would be the school authorities' job to get the video. But she wanted to leverage the video and torture Ananya a little bit. She had not decided if she would eventually get them expelled, but she wanted to play around and make Ananya and Yuvraj's lives hell.
`Hey Ananya! Long time, no see?' Natasha called from across the canteen when she spotted Ananya.