by Richard Hein
“An associate of ours owned a copy,” Circe said, inclining its head. Circe’s grin stretched ear to ear, a Cheshire Cat smile that could never happen on a human face. “Based on… many talks, I learned much about the contents of this tome. I wish to know more. Third-hand knowledge is not sufficient.”
Interesting. So there were multiple copies of Day’s book. Did we have the original? It still didn’t answer the question of why Circe required it, but once I was back at Sanctuary and found our copy, I could give it a read and see. Worst case scenario, were there anything dangerous in it, I’d just have to break the deal. I wished I could call up Daniel and have him check, but cell service in another universe was non-existent.
I nodded in acceptance. “Let’s do this. In exchange for information for our missing monster you get a book.” I held up a finger. “A copy of the book. I’m not keen on letting anything in our possession take a permanent vacation.”
“We have an accord,” Circe said. “Make no mistake, Samuel Walker of the Ordo Felix Culpa. Should you fail to deliver your end of the bargain, you will—”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, waving an irritable hand. “Fire and brimstone, forty days of darkness, my blood spilled, et cetera. I’ve heard this song and dance before.”
Circe surged from the throne, drawing up to full height. The pristine sky above darkened in a wave rippling from horizon to horizon, a swirling crash of blackened clouds. Six hands rose to the sky. The pleasant and hot wind roared to a tempest, whipping and slicing across my exposed flesh, swirling down from the throne and Circe. Kate held up a hand before her eyes and retreated before the onslaught. My jacket wrenched at me, billowing out like a parachute, and the sudden sensation of palpable wind against the weeping cut on my stomach set it burning with pain once more. I winced, stumbled, and narrowly caught my footing before being blown across the smooth stone.
“Do not make light, Chancellor,” Circe said, words striking at me like the wind. With slow, deliberate motions Circe descended the stones, the wind howling louder with each step.
“You place yourself on a pedestal,” Circe intoned, gesturing toward me with too-long fingers. “Greater than us. Better than us. You will not make this deal lightly. My word is binding, and I swear to you now, should you not deliver up that which I seek three days hence, I will call down such a reckoning that the stones themselves will weep for you. I will not destroy you, Chancellor Walker. I will break you. And when I tire of your screams, I will peel the flesh from your bones and lash them into my throne. Now. Swear.”
I swallowed and shared a silent look with Kate. She looked wan and pale, but gave me a slow nod.
“I swear,” I said. The wind cut off in an instant, and the blackened sky retreated, leaving it blue once more.
Neat trick.
“Speak,” Circe said, returning to the throne. “Who do you seek?”
“The name we were given is Simon,” Kate said. “He is known about Seattle for—”
“Simon,” Circe hissed, eyes narrowing. Her hands gripped the skulls on the arms of the throne hard enough that bone cracked.
Kate and I both took a discreet step back.
“Simon,” Circe repeated, twisting the name as if it tasted foul.
Long moments passed as the queen watched us with smoldering eyes. The assembled masses of twisted creatures stirred, taking a menacing step toward us.
“Fetch an address for these two,” Circe said at last. “Give them what we know.”
The bartender threw a bow and retreated down the tree, to the beach and the door to our world. That must get old, all the back and forth. I watched until the creature vanished.
Minutes dragged by. “So,” I said, clapping my hands together and spinning to regard the servants. “Y’all just kinda stand here all day worshiping? Does that get boring? Do you get union-mandated breaks or anything?”
Nothing but silence.
Kate pressed close, one hand on my shoulder, lips close to my ear. “Circe is not happy about us hunting this Simon fellow.”
“Yeah,” I whispered back. “I’m not sure what that’s about. There’s plenty here we don’t know, and that’s more than a little worrying.”
“You’re seriously going to give over the book?”
I glanced up at Circe. The creature still bore a look like a thunderstorm made flesh. I gave a little wave.
No response.
“Well, it was that or live here permanently,” I said.
“I could exorcise you,” Kate said. “We’re the outsiders here. I could have sent you home free and clear. God knows I’ve had enough practice.”
I thought back to a time when she had attempted to do such a thing while we’d been outside the universe at Dieter and Stefan’s home away from home. It had almost worked then, which had been impressive given Kate had never tried to exorcise something before. She was right though. Here we were the Extra-Dimensional Entities, the alien invaders from another universe — just ones without the immunity to damage that actual demons gained coming to Earth. Either of us could send the other home.
“And leave you here amid a tropical paradise?” I asked with a shake of my head. “Maybe — maybe — if they had a little cabana full of fruity drinks with tiny umbrellas in them.”
She gave me a warm smile. “I never thought Samuel Walker would willingly turn over anything to an Entity.”
It’s for the best, Lauren thought into my mind. Math even you can do. Everyone gets something, you lose nothing.
“You and me both, but the times, they are a-changin’. I need the money this job brings, and it’s just a book.”
We broke apart as the bartender returned. The obese creature stuffed a slip of paper into my hand. I unfolded it and read the contents.
An address and a phone number. How mundane.
“The address is where Simon used to reside,” the bartender said with a grimace, as if talking to me physically pained it.
“You keep tabs on where you guys pay rent?” I muttered.
“The number,” it said, pushing on, “is for my cell. Report back in when you know more.”
“1-800-Dial-A-Demon,” I said, punching it into my phone. “Got it.”
It takes a while to spell out demon pig goddess with T9 typing.
I stuffed my phone and the note into a pocket. Spinning to face the queen, I gave my most regal, mocking bow. It hurt like hell with the laceration across my stomach, but I swept one arm out to the side and kicked a foot back.
“Well, your majestyness,” I said as I rose, “it’s been a thing. We thank you for your generosity and this tiny piece of paper.”
“Leave,” Circe thundered.
With a shrug, Kate and I retreated from the royal hall, down the tree, across the beach, and back to Earth.
Chapter 9
My thoughts roiled as we drove back. Lockyer. Circe. Simon.
The Lockyer situation could be good for us, maybe give us the resources to tackle jobs like the hunt for the missing demon without stretching ourselves thing. Money would help. I needed to figure out his angle. It could be altruistic, hoping to join forces to fight evil and all that. People are rarely that straight-forward though. Everyone has sneaky little goals.
That was ignoring the spectacular exorcism I’d witnessed. Something like that could be useful, but I had no answers as to what I’d seen. I needed to talk to the Twins about it at the least.
Simon seemed simple. After I checked in at Sanctuary, we would go investigate the place, hope to find clues, and sleuth the crap out of this. By comparison it seemed almost easy, something I could focus on and handle.
We turned into the wide parking lot around the portal to Sanctuary and snatched up my phone, thumbing over to the number for the Twins to report progress.
“Samuel, are you a goddamned lunatic?” Kate asked, a quiver in her voice. “Do you not remember I was in a car accident that deprived me of my parents and parts of my memory? The same one Michael used to erode my wi
ll? Pay attention!”
“It’s an empty parking lot,” I said. “I’m not going to—”
She reached out to grab my phone, and we were both slammed forward as we impacted something. Glass spider-webbed. The squeal of tortured metal clawed at my ears. My whole body rocked up as the rear of the car lifted a little, head whipping forward. I had a wild, crazy moment to wonder where the hell my air bag was before my head rebounded off my steering wheel. I howled. My phone flipped out of my hand and crashed against the windshield, clattering down onto my dash. I heard Kate’s panicked cry from somewhere distant.
My engine died, and the car rocked back from the impact. A sudden silence descended, almost painfully loud as I lay with my face pressed against the steering wheel. It had taken two heartbeats.
With one shaking hand I slapped at my dashboard, found purchase, and pushed myself up. I could feel warm blood drawing little creeks down my face as I straightened.
I thought I was supposed to be somewhat invincible, I said to Lauren as I tried twice to kick open the door. You know, that whole bit where being possessed kinda renders you immune to earthly damage?
Silence. God damn that demon.
“You,” Kate breathed, voice tight, “are never driving when I’m in the car ever again. God damn it, Samuel. God damn you.”
“Are you okay?” I said. My jaw ached like bell rung in a boxing match.
“I’m more concerned for you,” Kate said, rubbing at her shoulder where the seatbelt had caught her. “Because I am going to murder you.”
I poured out of my car and onto the cold concrete, swearing as colorfully as I could muster. Kate battered open her door and stumbled out as well, glaring with cold daggers at me from across the hood.
The front of my car was a crumpled mess, and I hadn’t even been going that fast. It was more like something hit me than my car impacting it. Rolling my neck, I spun, glancing around.
It wasn’t hard to miss the creature as it towered over the rear of my car. Its scales were a deep azure fading down to indigo as they ran down its immense body. It was broad of shoulder, tapering down to a narrow waist and looking like an inverted, disgusting pyramid. Powerful, muscled arms ended in a three-clawed hand. Six pale yellow eyes regarded me with loathing, like it had just discovered I’d peed in its pool. It had no mouth, the lower half of its face looking like misshapen clay that shifted and distended as I watched.
I almost wanted to laugh at how unwieldy the thing looked on thin, spindly legs. A stiff breeze could have toppled it.
“I was just starting to like that car, too,” I said, shaking out my fingers and storming up to the thing, “color notwithstanding. What is it with demons and my vehicles, anyway?”
The thing smiled, or as well as it could without a mouth, skin folding like wet cloth. It reminded me of the Grinch in the old cartoon. It hefted one foot, balancing on its tiny little leg, and kicked.
Tires squealed as my car skidded across the lot. It twisted sideways, passenger door leading the way for a few moments before the fickle bitch that is momentum sent it toppling roof over tire. We all watched, the demon, Kate, and me, as my car rolled a dozen times before coming to a rest upside-down, a little crumpled heap of mangled metal, shattered glass, and broken wallets.
“God damn it,” I muttered under my breath, turning to face the thing. Another car sacrificed to the job.
It chuckled, like desiccated leather crumbling away. Impressive for a thing without a mouth.
I shot forward, Kate a heartbeat behind me. I lunged for the creature and kindled up my will, ready to kick it from the universe.
It moved fast. I hadn’t even seen it shift until pain flashed across the right side of my ribs and I kissed concrete. I groaned, rolling to my knees about two dozen feet away. That thing could kick my car half a football field… I would be lucky if I had no broken ribs after that hit. I tasted blood and spat it out onto the asphalt.
“Samuel!” Kate cried.
“Plan B,” I said, the words tasting funny on swollen and cut lips. “Run. Get inside. Get Daniel and any weapons we can carry.”
I hauled up to my feet and sprinted for Sanctuary.
Kate and Daniel’s cars lay unmolested beneath the single parking lamp. Chances were that Daniel was inside Sanctuary. Once we crossed over we’d be safe from whatever this thing was, as it wouldn’t be able to follow us. Gather up my companions, grab a few toys, and we could be back in under five minutes to smack it around like it had with my car. I was sure I could push it out of the universe if I could get my hands on it for a second or two, but the thing was fast and I really, really didn’t want to be its personal volleyball to slap around again.
The thing snarled behind me. I heard asphalt crack, drowning out the staccato of Kate’s feet on pavement. It swept up through the air, propelled by a leap from those woefully tiny legs, and with enough force to fracture the ground. One foot lashed out as it hurtled through the air and caught the lamp post. Vicious claws curled around it like fingers, and it didn’t pause as it flung itself over me and toward Sanctuary. Glass exploded, and the pole twisted beneath its strength, rending the metal like dough. I had a second to arrest my mad dash before the creature slammed down a few feet in front of me. Bits of broken pavement flew as it impacted.
It had cut me off from Sanctuary. How had it known where to find me? Here, at Sanctuary itself. I was certain we didn’t have a public listing under “Exterminator, Paranormal” so how had this thing tracked me down?
My options were limited. It was too fast for me to lay hands on it, and I was standing in the middle of an empty lot. I considered hiding behind Kate’s car, but she’d kill me if it got trashed.
Maybe Daniel’s car, though.
“No more cars will be sacrificed to evil,” I wheezed. A cough racked out of me, stabbing at my ribs and the cut across my stomach. “Do you hear me?”
Six eyes narrowed, either in confusion or trying to eyeball which of my organs it would pull out first. I flexed my knees, readying a frantic toss of my body if it came at me. The damned thing was fast enough I couldn’t will it out of existence though — I doubted I had much chance to run either.
Plan C, Samuel, Lauren said. Nuke it. Damn it all, Samuel, you used to tackle these sorts of creatures and now you’re running. It will go Rocky all over your ass and bounce your skull off the pavement and you’re too scared to fight fire with fire.
Uh, Rocky beat Drago, I thought back.
The first Rocky! What’s it going to be? You going to keep running from fights you should win or are you going to grow a pair and do something? Burn that asshole to the ground before we both get pasted. If not for you, then for your car.
I could feel it stirring, great coils of will slithering across the inside of my mind. A sudden ache kindled in my chest, fire and twisting anger, ready to lash out, to destroy this thing that had come for me at my home.
The creature’s tiny legs hunkered down, and the thing flung itself forward. I swore and threw myself to my right, landing hard on the pavement and rolling. Pain. Oh, sweet, vicious pain as my wounded ribs smacked the pavement. I saw the creature drive those triple claws at where I’d been, the vicious tips sinking into the ground like it had been mud. It gave a twist of one bony wrist, and the asphalt shattered and crumbled with the spreading of its claws.
It was ignoring Kate, at least. She sprinted for the warehouse door, pausing to glance back at me. Her steps slowed, clearly worried about me.
“Go,” I shouted. “Hurry. I’ll keep it occupied.”
Kate vanished into the warehouse.
The demon’s pale yellow eyes snapped up and fixated on me again, and once more it gave a smile with no mouth.
Was it toying with me? I’d seen how fast that thing could move. I should have been an organ-filled piñata by now.
I’m not using magic, I snapped back, backpedaling a little and trying to judge how long it would take me to run around and to the doors of Sanctuary. I tried to
snuff the fire within out, tried to push aside the anger. It’s forbidden for a reason.
I could feel Lauren’s eyes rolling. Yet it worked so well at the Odyssey. It’s only forbidden because of the risk, Twinkles. You’re already possessed, and trust me when I say I’m not letting anything else set up shop in here. It’s cozy, if austere.
I stumbled as silvery shock flashed through my nerves. Twinkles. It had been Lauren’s nickname for me, before we’d dated, back in our early phase of mildly antagonistic flirting. Her endearing, absurdly stupid nickname, and it had stuck even after we’d gotten together, much to my chagrin.
“I’m covered in goop, Sam,” she’d said after our first mission together. “Goop. Next time, how about you stick to the plan instead of going all Legolas and running off?”
“Legolas is awesome,” I’d responded, watching as she’d attempted to towel off some of the vile green gunk and failing. “That sounds like a compliment to me.”
“Fine then. Twinkles.”
“Twinkles?”
“Twinkles, the Happy Little Elf, the Anti-Legolas.” She’d fixed me with that crooked smile, and later I would peg that moment as when everything started between us. “Twinkles frolics in the forest and eats mushrooms. Frolics, Twinkles.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Neither does your face,” she’d said. She tossed the goop-laden towel at me. I’d tried to bat it out of the way and ended up with my hands coated in something that felt like very warm and runny snot.
“That doesn’t even make sense,” I’d muttered.
My heart raced. I stared blankly at the demon, barely even seeing it as my thoughts derailed and crashed. When the thing in my head had revealed itself as Lauren, I hadn’t given it too serious of a thought. Lauren had been possessed, her personality merged with whatever demon had gotten into her head. When I’d killed her with magic, something calling itself Lauren had wound up in my mind, and it had seemed unlikely that her shattered soul could have fled her body, popped off to one of those infinite random dimensions, and then swam back up the channel of me using magic to possess me. Sure, the OFC had little detailed information on how it all worked given research was pretty fucking fatal, but that had felt unlikely. It seemed a lot more possible that whatever was rooming in my brain was instead lying to me.