He’s being so nice and gentle. His energy is so soothing. I lower my arm, just a bit, and peek up at him over my shoulder.
19
Runaway
He doesn’t quite look human. One of his eyes is a bright green, like the smoky mist he used to be made of, but the left eye has no pupil. It’s just a cloudy, opaque, pastel green. A long, very long, golden braid trails over a broad, dark bronze shoulder, and he’s dressed strangely. He’s wearing loose, dark, crinkly pants, and a dark blue vest with olive-colored smudges along the seams. A tribal tattoo stretches across both shoulders and wraps around his right bicep. It’s almost what I would imagine a lion to look like if it woke up one day in human form. His energy expands out, invisible but hot. It crackles lightly in the air around him.
I lower my arms a little more. He watches me with a great deal of patience, crouched beside me like a tiger watching over his young. He appears to be around thirty-two, but I know he can’t be confined to any particular age.
He’s being gentle towards me, but he looks dangerous as fuck. And overwhelmingly strong. Like any minute some poor fool is going to get locked in a cage with him, and in two seconds he’ll shred that fool to pieces.
My breathing starts to level out. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a broken stone slab where Fallon used to be. Panic hums under my skin again.
“Do I not look human?” he asks.
“I don’t know.”
He stretches out a hand, and a mirror flies over to him from under a random pile of crap. He runs a hand over his jaw and checks out his reflection. “I’ve looked worse.” He trains his eyes on my face. Can he see out of that left one?
“I can see out of it,” he says with a grin.
“Did I say that out loud?”
“You keep looking at it.” He stretches up and holds out a hand to help me to my feet. He has a great smile. It seems very genuine and relaxed. But it doesn’t put me at ease.
“What happened to Fallon?” I keep my back to the wall and cross my arms over my chest.
“I needed a body. There’s a threshold over the door. I couldn’t pass it without one. Not that being able to pass through will do me much good. I can’t leave the premises. My reach ends at the sidewalk.”
“Oh.”
He cracks the air out of his knuckles, then moves on to cracking his neck and other joints. The sound causes my insides to cringe. He sees the discomfort on my face and smiles again. “Everything is going to be okay.” He stops popping his joints for a moment to cup my face in his hands. Heat radiates off his skin. I swear it’s warming the entire room, though not exactly in a bad way.
His thumbs brush the drying tears from my cheeks. I don’t remember crying. He combs his fingers through my hair and takes a moment to really look at me. My shoulders tense.
“You’re so young,” his whispers. “I didn’t realize you were this young. I’ve given you a bad scare, haven’t I?”
My throat is too dry to speak, so I just stare back at him.
“I’m going to take care of you. I don’t want you worrying about anything.”
The mirror he conjured from the pile of treasure hovers in the air behind him. A prickly, cold feeling runs down my arms, and I shiver. I want to go home. I realize that, technically, I am home, but I want to go to my penthouse. Specifically, the closet. The very back of the closet, behind all of my clothes.
“Jade, I need you to do something for me. I’m not quite strong enough to do this myself, but with the power that lies within you, I can alter you enough to get the job done.” He lifts his strong hands back to my face and gentle vibrations start up under my skin, all over my body. “Don’t be alarmed. It’s not permanent.”
My stomach folds in on itself. I don’t even want to know what he’s doing. Just the thought of it weighs heavily on my shoulders.
“To change back, all you need to do is concentrate. Think about what you look like. Rub your hands together like this.” He rubs his palms together and folds them over his solar plexus. “Then place your hands here, and the energy should shift and change you back. If it doesn’t, I’ll help you.” His strange eyes flit up to the ceiling, as if he can see past all the layers of stone and metal and wood to the sky above. “I am making it strong enough to last the day. Just in case you panic. In a normal situation, panicking might weaken the mask.” He beckons for the mirror with his index finger and it floats over. He hands this to me, and I take it with trembling hands. “Again, I apologize for springing this on you, but it really needs to be done.”
I raise the reflective surface and see Fallon’s pale, scared face staring back at me. “What the hell?” Her tremulous voice floats out of her mouth. I touch my face, and her reflection mirrors my actions exactly. “I really hate this. I hate this.”
“I know. You’re so much prettier than she is.”
I stare over the elaborate golden frame to his perfect, symmetrical face.
“It’s not permanent.” He watches me carefully, like he’s studying me.
“Why do I sound like her?”
“It wouldn’t work if you didn’t.”
Nausea climbs up my esophagus. She’s dead. And now I look like her.
“It’s just for a few hours,” he says, his voice steady and calming. I hold the mirror back out to him, and he floats it over to the nearest pile of gold.
The cave is a mess now. Good thing no one ever comes down here.
“I’m not leaving looking like this. This isn’t going to fool anyone. I can’t be her.”
“Dear Jade.” His hot hands wrap around my shoulders. “If your father walked up to you, and he was acting strange, would you think for one moment that it wasn’t him?”
I swallow past the dry patch of sick in my throat. I see where he’s going with that, but I still feel like a fraud. And a murderer.
“Everything is fine, Jade. I only need you to do three things.” He pauses, and I nod. I don’t like him looking me in the eyes like that. The milky eye is really disconcerting. But he’s flawless otherwise, like he chiseled himself from a block of gold.
He leans in close to me and hot breath brushes against my face. He smells like cinnamon. It disturbs me that he has a smell at all.
“Break things off with Jerod. Break up with Logan. Then I need you to go to her place and pack a bag and buy a one-way ticket to New York City with her bank card.”
That’s more than three things. I start to shake my head, and he cuts off my protest by pressing a finger to my lips.
“It’s very simple. Do that, and come back here, and I will walk you through returning yourself to normal.”
I’ll never be normal again. Terror nests in my gut. I don’t have a choice. And I don’t want to piss him off by waffling any longer. I slide away from him and start for the tunnels on weak legs. I’ve made a terrible mistake.
“Jade.”
I stop by the silver door and find Fallon’s glitzy pink bag floating behind me.
“Bring everything back here. Her bags, her credit cards, the ticket. I’ll take care of everything else.”
I can’t do anything but nod and slide the thin strap of her bag over my shoulder. My heart patters hard against my ribs. Part of me wants to blame my parents for this. And my grandparents. And my great-grandparents. Everyone, going back to Arthur II and Morgana. If anyone had bothered to tell me that this would happen, I would have gladly taken Delerium Codex 40, or whatever other kind of poison the mad scientists might come up with, every single freaking day of my life until I died. I’d give it to my children, if I had any. I’d give it to my nieces. I’d tell them exactly why it was so important. I wouldn’t keep them in the dark like an asshole.
Seriously, what the hell kind of sorcerer is that? He crawls out of his prison all misty and takes over someone’s body. Just like that. She’s gone forever. This morning I would have been crazy happy to know I’d never see her again. Now, I feel like shit. Because it’s my fault.
There’s a
heavy weight in my stomach, and I’m pretty sure I’m stuck with it for life.
I stumble a couple of times in Fallon’s ridiculous heels and stop for a moment by the first door to steady my breath. Break hearts. Run away. Sneak back in. Wearing Fallon’s face. I wince. I would give anything to go back in time to my birthday and ignore Aric…Merlin. I thought Merlin was a nice guy. Why did Grandpa always talk him up so much if he’s crazy?
I let out a long sigh and cross through to the next door. Maybe I’m not being fair. If someone loved by a family member had to die for him to be free, he picked the most unlikeable person. The person who would be the easiest to get rid of. My brother loves Logan and Griffin both like brothers. It couldn’t be either one of them.
Clever spell, Morgana, you bitch. Bet you never thought anyone would be daft enough to sacrifice someone important to any member of this stupid, cursed family. I rub my hands over Fallon’s face and step outside.
Jerod and a group of men from upper management walk to the back entrance from the parking garage. His steps falter a bit when he sees me, and his brows shoot up in surprise. “Fallon!” He nods to the group of men and jogs over. “Baby, what are you doing?” His eyes graze over the door. “What were you doing back there?”
“Looking for the bathroom?” God, I sound dumb.
He snickers. “The bathroom isn’t back here, dummy.” He slides his hands around my waist—her waist—and leans in to kiss her.
I hold back a yelp of panic and twist away from him. “What are you doing?”
His eyes widen in surprise. “What’s wrong? I miss you.” Confusion presses into every centimeter of his face.
So gross. I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment and take a deep breath. “We need to talk.”
“Okay. I have a few minutes.”
When I look at him again, his stupid eyes are so full of trust. And adoration. My stomach turns.
“Please don’t look at me like that.” I grab his arm and pull him into the utility room.
His gaze dances around the cramped space. “I’ve never been in here before.” He reaches for me, and I back away. No. There isn’t enough space in here. I open the door and pull him back outside and around to the side of the building.
“Babe, what’s going on? You’re making me kind of nervous.” He fidgets with the buttons on his suit jacket.
I twist my hands together. I really don’t want to do this. Why is Aric making me do this? I pace for a few seconds, but I stumble again, so I force myself to stand still in front of him. In front of my twin brother. Looking like his girlfriend. This is so messed up.
“Okay.” Her voice trembles. I hate sounding like her. “We have to break up,” I blurt out.
“What?” A look of horror descends over his features. “Fallon…what?”
I’ve never had to break up with someone before. I never dated anyone long enough. This is so much harder than ignoring calls and text messages. Why didn’t I just send him a text? Because that’s a shit thing to do, that’s why, and he’s my brother and deserves better.
I take a few deeps breaths while he stands there speechless. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Fallon…” He shakes his head and extends his arms towards me. I back away. “Don’t say that. Baby, come on, let’s talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. You deserve better.”
“No—”
“I’m cheating on you. With…it doesn’t matter. Ask Griffin. He knows.”
His expression freezes, torn between bewilderment and pain.
“I’m sorry. I wanted it to be gentler than this, but…” I stare off to the side, at the leaves swirling and dancing on the tar. “You don’t deserve to be treated like I’ve been treating you. I’m sorry.”
Jerod says nothing for a long time. He stands with his shoulders slumped and his hands limp at his sides. Then he says, “Cheating on me with who?”
I don’t want to tell him. It’ll kill him. Far worse than this interaction is killing him. “Just talk to Griffin. Or Logan.”
“Is it someone I know?”
“Jerod—”
“I knew it.” He starts for the road, then stops after a few steps. He turns around and stands close to me, his eyes full of betrayal and grief. “My mom told me you were a slut. I should have listened.”
My jaw drops. She said what?
He shakes his head again and stalks away.
The energy of his anger and hurt hangs in the air. I wave at it in an attempt to disperse it some. That went terribly.
For a while I don’t know what to do with myself. I know Jerod is a lot closer to our mom than I am, which isn’t saying much at all, but it hurts to know that he talked to her about Fallon. That he could talk to her. I know I’m probably too old to care, but I’ll never have that with her. I groan and run my hands through my hair. Her hair. The blonde strands stick to her sweaty fingers. This sucks.
I fish her phone out and find Logan’s number. I guess I could probably just send him a text. It’s over between us. You know why. Send. That’s good. I find her ID so I know where to find her place, and then I call for a car to take me there.
The apartment is way nicer than I was expecting. I really hope my brother isn’t paying for this. I guess he won’t be any more if he is.
“Can we talk?”
I stop halfway across the living room and turn around to face Logan. Oh hell no. Logan has a key to her place? “Um…” Shit. I was really hoping I didn’t have to see him.
He holds up his phone. I lean in to read the screen. I’m expecting to see the text I sent him. Instead I see one from Jerod that reads you fucking asshole.
“What did you say to him?” His face is a mask of shame and anger.
“I need my key back.” I hold out her hand.
He digs in his pocket and throws it in my face. “Take your fucking key. It won’t be yours much longer anyway.” He runs a hand through his hair and storms to the front door. “I thought we had an agreement that I would talk to him first.”
“I didn’t tell him. Maybe Griffin did. Or maybe he figured it out.”
Logan kicks the wall. “Dammit!” He squeezes his fists. “Why did you say anything at all? Did Jade talk you into it?”
Oh that’s right. “No. She just told me that she knew and that she hoped I would do the right thing.” Or whatever.
“The right thing? I’ve known him since I was a fetus, Fallon! You have no idea what you’ve done.”
“Just get out of here. It’s over, okay? I have some packing to do.”
“Yeah. Just run off and leave.”
“Well, I can’t stay here.”
He looks at me. I can’t read the expression on his face. But he doesn’t say anything. He just shakes his head, walks out, and slams the door behind him.
The sound of his departure jostles my system. I look around at all of her nice things. The furniture, the paintings, the electronics. “Freaking Jerod,” I mutter. I lock the door, just in case Logan decides to come back, and then retreat to the bedroom. What would a shallow cheater take to New York with her?
I collapse at the foot of the bed and just sit. The arguments with my brother and Logan have rattled me. But this isn’t my mess. It’s hers. And theirs. And I just need to do what I came here for.
I get up and open her closet. All the designer clothes in there cause a fresh wave of nausea to roll over me. I find an expensive suitcase near the door and throw it on the bed. “Let’s just get this over with.”
20
A Dangerous Entity
I roll the suitcase to the back of the building, to the outside utility entrance. I don’t know why I’m surprised to find that I can still unlock stuff. I’m still me inside. I left the keys to the condo on the kitchen counter along with a note that simply read I’m sorry.
It’s for the best. He’s better off without her. Of course, I would have rather just run her out of the city instead of…I can’t even finish the thoug
ht. Even the memory of crunching bones…
The sound of the suitcase wheels echoes off the walls of the tunnels. I wonder if Aric can still hear me when I’m away from him. I’ll have to ask. Something tells me that’s something I really want to know. I don’t want him to get suspicious though.
Aric is picking through the treasure when I get back to the cavern. He’s holding a long pewter staff that has a clear quartz adorning the top. “You know, this was mine,” he says without shifting his eyes from it. “I told them that it harnessed my power, so it was the first thing they took from me.” He grins at me over his shoulder. “Actually, I just thought it looked cool.”
I drop Fallon’s purse to the floor along with a duffle bag, and then kick her suitcase over on top of them. “Change me back.”
He leans the staff gingerly against the wall and crosses over to me. “How did everything go?”
“You didn’t hear it?”
He shakes his head as he looks over her things. “I can still feel you, but my hearing appears to be temporarily stunted.”
Temporary? How long is temporary? “Everything sucks. But it’s done.”
“Excellent.” He looks me over. “Yeah, this is not a good look on you.” He brushes Fallon’s blonde hair behind my shoulders. “Do you remember what I told you?” He rubs his palms together, and I follow suit and place my hands on my stomach. He snaps his fingers through the air around me and mutters some kind of nonsense. “Okay, close your eyes. When you do this to alter your appearance, you’ll want to set an intention for a particular length of time.”
I can’t imagine when I would ever want to do this.
“It works the same way, forward or backward, but when you want to undo the alteration, you can set the time for now, right away, or you can set it for a time in the future. For example, fifteen minutes or an hour. I don’t recommend that though. But I wanted to let you know. Now, breathe in. Picture your face, your skin, your height, your clothes.”
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