“Sure I do, we hooked up a few times when we were at school.”
“That was years ago, I’m shocked you remember that far back,” Zach snorts, pulling out his phone.
The twins head inside and Zach walks over to the side of the road. He presses his phone to his ear as he looks left and right, watching the traffic pass us by.
The powerless feeling of anything happening to Harper or anyone getting close to her has the ability to knock me off my feet.
I can’t see her through the window, she must still be in the bathroom, and I dig around in the side bag for her phone. It’s an old burner phone Slade gave her a couple of weeks ago. As far as I know she hasn’t turned it on, she hasn’t returned any of my messages. I am hoping she has one particular number in her contact list. As I thought, it’s switched off and I have to wait a beat for it to turn on and then breathe a sigh of relief that she doesn’t have a lock on it, and sure enough, there’s his name.
I don’t have time to be pissed about it, I type the number into my phone and turn her phone off again and put it away.
I hit dial and wait it for it to ring. Harper is still inside with the twins and Zach is still on his call.
“Finally,” a smarmy, cocky fuck voice answers the phone and I understand why she keeps her phone off now. “Are you calling to ask where to meet me?”
“Am I fuck,” I laugh down the line.
He sucks in the valuable air he shouldn’t be breathing and hisses at me, like, legit hisses at me.
“Like you, I thought it was time I formally introduced myself. I’m Jason Carter and I hear you’re wanting my old lady.”
It’s not a question, it’s what I fucking heard him say.
“Your old lady?”
“That’s what I said. I’m calling to let you know you should give up. She was never yours and she was never into you. It was always me.”
I’m goading him, I know it, he should know it but he’s too far gone and hopefully that will be his downfall and lead him out into the open so we can go home.
I’ll do anything for Harper, but I already miss the club and my brothers.
“Fuck me if my balls didn’t tighten when she told me she loved me, and then kissed me like I owned her.”
I shouldn’t be sharing our private details with him, yet, I’m seeking satisfaction from it and I need it now.
“The Lost Souls will find you and when we do, I’ll be the last face you see. What you did to Harper, I’m going to do to you tenfold.”
He barks out a laugh and as much as I don’t want to admit it, it sends a shiver down my spine.
“What I did to her will be nothing compared to what I do to you, pretty boy. You think I don’t know about you? How you treated her like a whore you could pick up and drop whenever you chose to, how she craved your presence to find peace and you hurt her over and over again. Who’s really worse for her, Jason? You say you’re going to be the last face I see, I promise you it’s my face she sees and if you don’t keep her close, it’ll be mine she sees every day. I’ll have her in my bed, on my arm, my ring on her finger, and I promise you, she’ll forget all about you.”
Huh. This guy is off his fucking head crazy.
“I only had to see her once to know how I felt for her, how many times did you mess her around?”
The door pings as the twins walk out followed by Harper.
“I have a good mind to come and collect my girl now, and that cunt, Leo, while I’m there.”
“You do that,” I goad him. “Be sure to let Cas know you’re coming and we’ll have them both gift wrapped for you,” I grunt.
“Don’t underestimate me…”
“No, you don’t underestimate us you crazy fuck,” I hiss, losing my patience and losing the reason of my call.
“Harper will never be yours, whatever fantasy you have in your head, save it, because that’s all she’ll ever be to you. I will come for you one day and if you show up at our club, you better be ready to go down fighting.”
“One day…”
The line goes dead and I turn my back on the three of them getting closer. Zach is still on his phone and I inhale deeply. I drag my thumb over the screen and scroll down to the number my dad uses.
It rings out three times before he answers.
“JJ?”
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m checking in.”
“Zach’s on the phone to Cas and Slade. I already heard you stopped for gas.”
“Yeah, well, I think we’re good to go alone from here. I just spoke to Ellis.”
“You did what?” he shrieks like a woman. “The whole point of you fuckin’ leaving is that you don’t have contact with him.”
“I had to say my piece and now I’m content. I pissed him off, I didn’t tell him Harper’s left town, but I riled him up. I’m calling to give you a heads up, he might show his face. The crazy cunt is off his head and he may just come knocking. Tell Leo not to be stupid and keep himself safe.”
I swear if he lets anything happen to himself, I’m going to be pissed. We’ve always looked out for each other, even when we were at school even though we weren’t in the same grade.
“You can still come home, son. We’re safer together, always have been, Cas should never have agreed to this.”
“I won’t bring her back now, dad. You don’t have to worry about me, I’m not going to do anything stupid. I won’t put her in a situation because of my pride.”
“Maybe you don’t take after me after all,” he laughs and then sighs.
It goes quiet and Harper’s hand runs along my shoulder’s, so I turn to face her.
“I’m pretty sure I do,” I say, grinning even though he can’t see it.
I know when I’ve got a good thing going and I know I’m going to lock it down and make it forever.
“Yeah, get rid of this phone when you hang up if it’s what you called that prick on.”
“Will do.”
“Call me when you get there.”
“Will do,” I say again.
“Hang up and get rid of the phone.”
I do as I’m told and drop the phone to the ground. I stomp on it three times before grinding my heel into the screen.
“What’s with the dramatics?” she asks, amused.
“Just a precaution, babe.”
I pull her against me as Zach heads over to us, ending his call. The twins are on their bikes, waiting.
“Cas knows we’re splitting from here. He said he wants you checking in every three hours, and he’s arranged for Gabe and a few brothers to ride out and meet you. Apparently, it’ll be easier than you trying to find their clubhouse in the dark.”
“Where are we going?” Harper asks.
“To a mountain, I’ll explain later.”
“We can ride for a while longer, it’s no trouble. It’s good to be out of town for a change.”
“None of us have seen anyone, we’re in the clear, brother. You go, check in on Nina and get yourselves back safely.”
The twins are first to laugh and Harper steps out from my hold and walks over to Zach.
“Don’t smoke so much till you’re back at the club, you need to be alert for anything and everything.”
He flinches and sweeps his hair away from his eyes.
“I’m fine.”
“Sure, don’t think I haven’t seen how much you’ve been smoking lately. If Ellis comes for you, you need to be clear headed.”
“It’s sweet how you think I can’t handle myself, Harper. But, even on my highest high, I’m still more aware than you at your strongest.”
“Be a dick then,” she shrugs. “No change there.”
I bite the tip of my tongue, keeping out of their conversation. The twins aren’t interested in anything that doesn’t personally concern them. But fuck me, if I don’t want to punch Zach square on the jaw and bust it to a pile of broken bones.
“I get that you’re trying to help me out because he got to you and hurt you ba
d, but I won’t let him get to me like that. I’ll smoke as much as I want and I’ll fucking float as high as I can get myself.”
“Why? Is this because you found out Slade isn’t your daddy? Because I can tell you, it can’t be that bad having a guy want to be your dad,” she says, and I’m stunned silent.
It all makes sense now, his change in attitude. His moods. The way he’s been acting with Slade and Kristen. However, if there is something in the water that makes and breaks relationships with their daddies, I’ll be sticking to beer.
Only, he doesn’t say a word. He scowls at her and then looks over to Mason.
“Get ready to leave, we’re riding out in five.”
Turning his back to us, Harper stands there watching him walk his bike over to the gas pump.
“Don’t worry about him, he’s got himself covered, he’s got the twins and everyone back at the club.”
“I’m more worried about how much he’s been drinking and smoking, it’s more than normal. My aunt and uncle are worried too.”
“Zach’s a grown man, he knows his limits,” I say, walking up behind her. “Come on, there’s something I have to ask you.”
I pull her towards my bike and look over her shoulder to see the twins and Zach preparing to leave.
She sits on my bike, straddling the seat and I yearn to have her now.
“Yo, we’re out of here. Last chance to have us babysit you a little longer,” Mason calls out.
Leaving Harper on my bike, I walk over and pound my fist to the twins waiting fists.
“We’re good from here. Worry about yourselves, princesses,” I laugh, turning to Zach. “You know where you’re going from here?”
“I know how to read a map, Carter,” he grunts, swinging his leg over his bike.
“You know, if you lighten up, life ain’t so bad.”
“Whatever,” he grunts, “Keep safe and keep my cousin safe.”
“Oh, so you do care then?”
I reckon if he were a girl, he’d roll his eyes at me. Instead, he holds his fist out and I pound mine to his.
“Ride safe.”
By the time I reach Harper, my brothers are back on the main road and riding into the distance and we both watch them until they’re out of sight.
“Then there were two,” she smiles, and it hits me that from here on out, it’s just her and I.
“We should get married.”
I blurt it out and it not only shocks her, but apparently, she loses her ability to speak, possibly breathe.
“What do you think?” I push.
“What do I think?” she repeats my question. “I think you’re crazy and I should be worried about being alone with you,” she chuckles.
“I’m being serious. We should get married.”
“Stop fucking around, JJ.”
“Stop thinking I’m messing around. I’m not. I want you to marry me, as soon as we get to our northern chapter. I’ll get you a ring, I’ll stand in front of whoever I need to and I’ll say all the words that make you my wife.”
Now she looks at me like she’s finally taking me seriously.
“I don’t know much when it comes to us, but I know we’re not at the marriage stage yet.”
“Why?”
“For one, we’ve been official for a few days. Secondly, you only admitted to me last week you don’t know how to be in a relationship. JJ, a marriage would mess you up, in turn, it’d mess us up. We don’t need to get married for us to be together.”
“Forget what I said last week, it means shit now. We’ve been together for months, it was just messy and unconfirmed,” I smirk and make her smile.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I know…”
“Do you? I have three weeks of prescription meds left before I get another prescription filled. How are we going to handle that?”
“Whatever you need, you’ll have. I’m not going to let you go without your meds, Harper. Be serious.”
“This is me being serious,” she tells me. “All I’ve wanted from you for months is commitment and now you're wanting to get married.”
“Say yes then.”
She stares into my eyes for the longest time and her mouth opens and closes numerous times, and even then, she says nothing.
Holding her cheeks in my hands, I lean in and make sure she is still keeping eye contact.
“I love you, I promise to love you always, I promise I will look out for you and protect you always, and I promise that while everything may seem dark, I will always be your light. Plus, Harper Carter has a better ring to it than Harper McCarthy,” I laugh, feeling a herd of nerves stabbing me waiting for her answer.
“What about our parents? They normally like to be at their kid’s weddings, especially since we’re both only children. Can you do that to them?”
My dad won’t give a fuck, my mom will care but she’s not the one who’s getting married.
“We can have some sort of wedding party or whatever for them. I want to marry you and I don’t need everyone to be there to see it. Unless you want Cas to walk up the aisle or some shit now you have a dad?”
“Like hell,” she snorts. “I don’t believe this.”
“Believe it and say yes.”
She leans forward and rests her forehead against my chest. Dropping my head, I lean my chin on her head and wind my hand into her hair.
“I love you, Jason. I really do, but…getting married should be…”
“It’ll be what we make it, and I reckon we’ll make it pretty fuckin’ good, babe,” I say into her hair as she doesn’t look up at me.
“Yes.”
I lean back, I want to see her face when I make her repeat what she said.
“Say it again,” I press her.
“I said, yes.”
Harper
I’m so tired I could fall asleep cuddled up to JJ’s back. It’s only the thought of falling asleep and falling off his bike that keeps my eyes open. It’s been two days since we left Willow’s Peak and I now have no fear of riding. JJ likes to ride fast but I don’t feel anything but safe with him.
He assures me we’ll be at our destination by nightfall and when we reach the bottom of the biggest mountain I’ve ever seen in my life, four bikers pull out onto the road, each of them nodding to us, or more to JJ and blast their horns, welcoming us I suppose.
The air around us bites through our jackets and JJ shivers as much as I do. We stopped this afternoon at the last town we rode through and purchased coats, but they’re not doing their job. I’m fucking freezing.
As we ride up the mountain I’ve heard about, I take in the scenery around us and it’s breath taking. JJ was telling me last night that this is where Dex met Libby. I haven’t seen much of them, they choose to keep to themselves and haven’t ventured much to the club.
The deeper we ride, the darker it becomes, and before I know it, a huge cabin comes into view and the music floods from the open door and echoes around us.
I brace myself for the numbness when JJ helps me off the bike and I stay close to him as a guy, looking like he’s in his sixties, walks over to us.
“The last time I saw you, you were nothing but a scrapper of a kid,” he booms and shakes JJ’s hand, pulling him in and slapping his back.
His eyes sweep over me before he steps back, and JJ comes back to my side.
“This is Harper, Harper, this is Gabe,” he introduces us.
Gabe doesn’t move to shake my hand or anything which I’m grateful for. He simply nods and leads us inside.
It’s completely different to the clubhouse in Willow’s Peak. For one, there is a roaring fire place on the other side of the room and my body aches to go sit next to it and warm up. I stick to JJ’s side as everyone looks our way.
“You should get settled in, and I was told to make sure you call home when you got here.”
“Thanks.”
“Prospect,” Gabe yells and a guy who can’t be no older than
eighteen or nineteen rushes over.
“Show our guests to their room and make sure they have what they need.”
I stay close to JJ, while he seems to be comfortable around these strangers, I am not. A prospect opens the third door on the right when we get to the top of the stairs and hands JJ a key. The room isn’t so bad, I’ve definitely stayed in worse places. It’s clean and doesn’t smell so I fall on the bed and groan when I stretch my legs to kick my boots off. JJ is quick to help me out of them and drops them to the floor.
“You should get some sleep while I sort some shit out.”
“You’re tired as well, come to bed. You can do whatever you need to do in the morning.”
“I can’t, but I won’t be long.”
He presses his lips to mine and I wind my arms around his neck, pulling him down on me.
“Hey,” he chuckles. “As tempting as you are, I’ll be back real soon for you.”
I unwind my arms from around his neck and let them fall on the mattress.
“Don’t keep me waiting too long, I’ll probably fall asleep.”
I can already feel my eyes drooping as I speak. His lips brush against my cheek and then the bed is dipping under his weight as he moves. I hear the door close on his way out and then I fall asleep. Safe and content. And most importantly, happy.
Lily and Cas, and everything bad happening back in Willow’s Peak can stay there. We are far from home and far from harm.
JJ
This is my first time here, but I’ve met a few of the brothers over the years when they’ve visited our chapter in Willow’s Peak. I don’t remember the last time I saw Gabe but it was as a kid so that explains it.
I’m liking the feel of the place and I like the feel of our bed upstairs. Smiling to myself, I head to the bar and order a beer. The burner phone I was told about is sitting on the wooden counter top and I hit in dad’s number and press call.
I forget about the time difference and listen to his cursing as he answers the call.
“Hey, sleeping beauty. We’re here,” I chuckle.
He clears his throat and I hear his muffled movements and then a door close.
“Did you have any trouble after you left Zach and the twins?”
His Selfish Love Page 21