by Night, Ash
I sighed. “Seems like yesterday. I was six.”
Max patted my knee. “My darling Sophia passed away five years ago. It was for the best. She was getting very sick and…ah well, now she’s waiting for me.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“I’m sorry about your mother,” he replied. “Are you here about her? Ever since Sophia passed, therapy has been a wonderful way to help with the grief.”
I shook my head. “I’m waiting for my girlfriend. She struggles with nightmares. She was doing so well but they’ve been becoming more frequent all of a sudden.”
He smiled encouragingly. “Don’t worry, she’ll be fine.”
“That’s what I’m hoping.”
His blue eyes twinkled. “She’s The One, eh?”
“Yes,” I said firmly. “I plan to spend the rest of my life with her.”
“Glad to hear it. I met my Sophia when I was thirteen. She was twelve. We lived in the same village in Italy. We moved to America together in our early twenties.”
“Italy is a nice place.”
“Ah, yes. Sophia and I were always talking about going back, but life got in the way.” The faces of his children and grandchildren flashed in his mind. He regretted not making it to Italy, but he didn’t regret them for a second.
I turned as I heard the click of the door. Mrs. Sapphire and Erin walked out. Erin was looking down at the floor. I hugged her tight. She was fighting the urge to cry. Mrs. Sapphire looked helpless.
“Don’t cry, little one. You have a great young man who will take excellent care of you.” Max said to Erin. She sniffed and tried to smile. “He was kind enough to keep an old man like me company.”
“It was a pleasure,” I said, shaking Max’s hand one last time. He smiled and cupped my hand in both of his.
“No, my boy, the pleasure was all mine. You made an old man’s final day worth something.” His next thought made my heart sink.
Max had flowers for his wife’s grave. He was going to visit her after his therapy session. He also had a gun in his car.
“The side effects shouldn’t be as severe this time, hon. I know you’re scared, but it’ll be okay.” Mrs. Sapphire said as she drove us to the local pharmacy to get the prescription filled.
Erin tried to smile, but was drowning in what she could remember of her past on pills. I held her tight as my own memory filled in the blanks.
“Erin, your grades are slipping. Is everything okay? You’re so much better than a ‘D’ student.” Mrs. Dreckle looked at Erin with concern. She’d asked Erin to stay after class after she’d gotten another C on her recent English test.
“No, I’m fine.” Erin answered. “I’ll do better.”
“‘Better’ may not cut it. It’s three weeks until the end of the term. You may have to take the class again in summer school.”
Erin stared at the floor. “Okay,”
Mrs. Dreckle pursed her thin lips, but refrained from saying more. She looked up to see me in the doorway, holding Erin’s backpack. “Ah, Aubrey. How nice to see you. Here to walk Erin to her bus? You’re so sweet.”
I went over to Erin’s desk and collected her things. “Nice to see you too, Mrs. Dreckle. I’d be happy to help Erin prepare for the next test. I’m positive she’ll do better.”
“I only wish the best for my students,” she said, nodding to Erin. “You can go now. Have a wonderful rest of your day, you two.”
“You as well,” I said, placing my hand gently on Erin’s shoulder to lead her outside. The warm summer air did little to improve her mood. “I’ll walk you home.”
“It’s out of your way,” Erin replied. “Plus, I take another pill when I get home. I don’t want you to see that.” A spark of fear shone through the hazy fog her brain was wrapped in.
I frowned. “I will never judge you, Erin. I’ve only know you for a little less than a week, but I enjoy your company immensely and I’d be nothing short of a monster if a little thing like seeing you take a pill changed that.”
“My mom-she’s out of town for the weekend. Can you…come over? Just for a little while? You can leave whenever, but I…get scared sometimes.” Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. “Of course, you’re probably busy so if you can’t, that’s okay.”
I smiled easily. “I have nothing else planned. As you may have noticed, Erin, you’re kind of my only friend here.”
The returning smile she gave me was blinding and her hug was tight. “Don’t be silly. My friends love you. They’re just shy, is all.”
It was nice of her to make excuses for them, but her friends still weren’t sure about me. Her best friend, Lauren, was a social butterfly. She was also fiercely protective of Erin, as if she were a younger sister. I was glad for that. Erin needed protecting. After all, she’d been the only one to offer me any help the first day of school.
“I’m sure they’re amazing people, but I don’t mind being a loner. For a long time it was just my brother and me. I’m used to it.”
She looked at me. “So you don’t mind staying with me?”
“Not at all,” I said. “I’m all yours for the weekend.”
She squeezed my hand as we walked up her driveway and she unlocked the door. “Is there anything you need to get from your house? We can walk to your house and get your things back here before dark if we hurry.”
I slung my cloth messenger bag over a kitchen chair. “No, I can grab my bags tomorrow morning. I’m an early riser.”
Erin stood at the sink, a cup of water in one hand, a pill in the other. She looked sad. I sighed internally. I knew everything those pills had changed inside her. She no longer danced and sang to music while doing her homework. She barely even listened to music anymore. She wasn’t as lively. Her eyes lost their sparkle and she forgot things. I saw how much it hurt her friends. From their memories, I saw how she used to be. She wasn’t the same person at all.
“Erin, I can go into the living room.” I said.
She shook her head firmly. “No, stay.” Her voice was shaky, almost pleading and demanding at the same time. With a deep breath, she took her pill.
At that moment, I realized just how much she trusted me.
Chapter Eight
Erin
My hands trembled as I shook a pill out of the orange bottle and tried not to throw it across the room. Aubrey held a glass of water in his hand. He smiled and offered it to me. I blinked as if I could blink the orange bottle out of existence. I took a drink of water and swished it around in my mouth, hating the fact I was going to have to take that pill if I wanted to control the nightmares.
The pill was white. It was so small I could easily dry-swallow it. Why was I so afraid? Maybe it was because my friends were so happy to tell me how much I changed since getting off the others. Maybe it was because I was afraid my feelings for Aubrey would change. Maybe it was because I was crazy to think they wouldn’t.
Of course my feelings would change. Everything would change. I wouldn’t want to have fun. I wouldn’t want to touch him. I wouldn’t want to do anything.
“Honey, it’s okay. I promise.” Aubrey hugged me from behind and placed a hand over my fist which held the pill. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t let a little pill hurt you. I won’t let anything hurt you.”
“I love you,” I said as tears burned my eyes.
Without even having to ask, he hugged me tighter, holding me together, as I slowly loosened my grip on the pill.
“I love you so much,” he said as his lips landed on top of my head. Sighing, I popped the pill into my mouth. The pill tumbled down my throat like a pebble down a well. I hadn’t eaten today. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m tired. Today’s stressin’ me out. Lay in bed with me?” I asked.
I felt his arms underneath me, cradling me to his chest. I smiled and cuddled into him as he walked upstairs. He set me on the bed, lying next to me, molding to me like a puzzle piece that was a perfect fit. I rested my he
ad on his chest, curling my fingers into his shirt. I didn’t remember falling asleep but when I got up, Aubrey was gone.
“Aubrey?” I asked sleepily, rubbing my eye. My mind felt foggy. The sky was dark outside my window so I couldn’t tell what time it was. The fact the sun had set was startling. It meant I’d slept for at least six hours. I knew it would take time for my body to adjust to the new meds, but I didn’t want to sleep my life away in the process. During a forgotten nightmare a few days ago, I’d broken my alarm clock, and I couldn’t find my phone, so I was stuck not knowing.
“Good morning, sweetie. How’d you sleep?” Aubrey came in with a cup of coffee and sat on my bed. I curled my hands around the cup and leaned against him.
“What time is it?”
“Four in the morning,” he said, looking at me with concern. I grimaced. “Are you up for school today? Your mother said you can take the day off if you need to.”
I groaned, taking a long sip of my coffee. It was sweet, just the way I liked it. “I’ll go,”
“Okay, but if it gets to be too much, I can take you home.”
I smiled. “Thank you for the coffee.”
He hugged me. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Did you hunt yet?”
“Yes, I hunted earlier, but I stayed close to the house just in case. I was only a few miles away in the woods.”
“Where do you normally go?” I asked.
“Up north, near Washington, about sixty miles from here. There are more deer. I hunt closer to home only if it’s an emergency like it was that one day I slept in.”
I kissed his cheek. “You fed enough? You can go out again now if you need to. I’ll be fine.”
He kissed me hard. I could feel him tense under my fingertips. I knew he was hungry. Being so close to me probably wasn’t making it any easier. Aubrey said he hadn’t drank human blood in a long time, but he was still a vampire. It tempted him every day. He just learned to control it. The Vietnam War must have been torture for him, having to smell all that blood in the air and while treating patients.
“It was,” he said, his lips inches from mine. “It drove me crazy, but I saw brave men fight and die for what they believed in and I couldn’t stand back and do nothing. I had to help. My internal struggle didn’t matter. I made sure to feed whenever I had a spare moment. I slept in my own tent so I could slip out and hunt a few hours before my shift. There was a period of time where the injured were coming in so fast, we all had to work two days straight.”
“How did you handle it?” I asked.
He sighed, his eyes a million miles away. “I handled it much the same way a recovering alcoholic handles the first few days back from rehab. When the flood of patients finally stopped, I ran from camp and out to the woods. I came back later that night and slept for a full day.”
“Didn’t anyone wonder where you were?”
“I didn’t make many friends so no. I did my job and kept to myself for the most part.”
I tried to imagine Aubrey like that. He had always been so friendly to me so it was hard to imagine him being closed off like that. Like Alex.
My reverie was broken by Aubrey laughing. “Yes, I was a lot like Alex, sweetheart. I actually just thought of how he would act most of the time. It was sort of hard. For as secretive as I have to be for obvious reasons, I rather enjoy making friends. For Topaz the task would have been impossible.”
“Oh, don’t worry, he told me he was busy getting high at Woodstock.” I laughed. Aubrey gave me a strange look.
“Did I hear my name?” A familiar voice asked. Topaz was climbing through my bedroom window, carrying a bag of caramel turtles between his teeth.
“Stalkerish, much?” I chuckled. “Come to join the four AM party?”
Topaz grinned. “I enjoy watching you sleep.” I laughed and he handed me the bright red package of caramel turtles. “A little birdy told me those happened to be your favorite.”
“Thanks, Paz!” I gave him a quick hug and tore into the tin foil. I was starving. “Either of you want some?”
“All yours,” they said in unison. I popped one into my mouth and closed my eyes for a moment, savoring the taste.
“So why did you decide to visit my girlfriend at four AM? Aubrey asked, raising an eyebrow while smirking. Topaz grinned.
“You got me. I’m in love. I was planning to run away with her. Cat’s out of the bag, Er-bear,”
I smirked. “Should we go out Romeo-Juliet style?”
He smiled. “I prefer Topaz and Juliet.”
“That would make an amazing story, Paz.”
“If only I could find someone to write it all down,” he grinned. “I can talk about her for hours. Anyway, what’s the plan, Er-bear? Do you want to go anywhere today?”
I swallowed my last turtle. “I decided I’ll go to school. I want to make sure I don’t fall behind.”
“So? Graduating doesn’t mean much. I barely attend.”
“You’re also a vampire who can compel himself any job he wants.”
“True,”
Aubrey smiled. “You don’t have to go to college if you don’t want to, hon.”
“I want to. I want to go to college, live in a dorm room, show off my sexy, older boyfriend, and get a kick-ass job. I wanted kids, but is that possible?” My throat got tight as I thought about it. I’d always wanted to be a mother, to have the love my mom and dad shared, create a living being with the love of my life, to have a child to share our life with.
Aubrey smiled sadly. “I’m afraid not, sweetheart. That part of me doesn’t work the way a human’s does.”
“But you were born,” I said.
“To be born a vampire is rare. There are only about a hundred born every couple centuries. Humans and vampires have tried, but can’t procreate.”
“Oh,” I replied quietly, my heart sinking.
“We’ll adopt. As many as you want.” He said cheerfully. “I love kids.”
I smiled. “I hope so. I always wanted a large family.”
“Great! I love giving Christmas presents!” Topaz said.
I laughed. “They’ll love you.”
Topaz grinned brightly. “They’ll never be able to thank you enough.”
Topaz turned on the faucet and squirted soap into the plastic tub full of dirty dishes later that morning. “How was it?”
“Perfect,” I said. “Thanks for breakfast,”
“You’re welcome. I love cooking. I used to cook for my foster family all the time.”
“You said your friend Jack was still alive. Where is he?”
“Around,” Topaz answered, scrubbing at a pan. “He likes to travel. I only see him every couple months if I’m lucky. He’ll be eighty-seven this winter. Birthdays were always so special in Mrs. Lovelace’s house. She would spend all day baking while we all played in the backyard. Her backyard was amazing. It was built like a park with swings, a jungle gym, and a trampoline.”
“That sounds awesome,”
He went silent for a while, gazing into the soapy water. “It was. We had such fun. Sasha and Sadie would have been eighty-four next Friday.” He brightened and turned to me. “Would you like to come with me to visit them?”
“Sure! I’ll have to think of something to tell Mom.”
“Consider it done,”
Aubrey growled a sigh. “Paz,”
He stared at Aubrey innocently. “I want to show her the house. Of course, it won’t be the same but it’s easy enough to show her that too.”
Aubrey went back to drying dishes in silence. I smiled. “Where is the house?”
“A few miles from London, in the countryside. It’s beautiful this time of year. You’d love it, Er-bear. Maybe you can come see it one day.”
“I find your life amazing, Paz. It’s all so interesting.”
He chuckled. “Living for so long does have its perks, I suppose. I’m just glad I can share it with you. It gets lonely visiting grave sites alone since no one re
members.”
“No one should ever have to visit a grave alone.” I said. Thinking of my dad’s grave, I felt like a coward. I only visited it once since he died. The one time I went, I went alone, thinking it would give me closure. It scared me more than anything. Seeing his grave felt even more final than it had when I saw him lying in his casket. I’d been too afraid to go back even though my mom had asked me to go with her more than once.
“Would you like us to go with you?” Aubrey asked, his hand on my shoulder. “It might help to have friends there.”
I smiled up at him. “Maybe someday,”
“I’ll let you and Lover boy get ready for school. See ya there!” Paz said, hugging me.
“Bye,” I said. He waved and was gone in a flash.
Aubrey kissed my forehead. “You aren’t a coward. You’re extremely brave. I went to my mother’s grave alone once. I was sixteen. I was angry at her for leaving.”
I looked at him, trying to imagine him angry. Aubrey was always kind, gentle, a kitten compared to the tiger that was Alex. Aside from when he told me he was leaving, he was calm, collected, always in control. The mixed emotions on his face as he sped down the road, trying to convince me he was a devil masked as an angel, sent shivers down my spine. In that moment, I realized what Alex meant when he’d said they had never been human.
“I was high on human blood. Of course it didn’t help that I’d been drinking alcohol for days. Mother would’ve been ashamed at what I’d become. After her death…I stopped caring. I fed off humans. I drank enough alcohol in a day to kill a human ten times over. I did everything I could to forget the world around me. Nothing mattered. My mother, the only person who mattered, was dead. My brother was God knows where, doing God know what.”
“He didn’t stay to help you get through it?” I asked. The stormy look in his deep dark brown eyes worried me.
“We saw each other every couple months, occasionally getting together to hunt or just drink together in silence at a bar.”
“But it wasn’t like now?” I was desperate to ground him, to keep him here with me. I’d seen that same look on Topaz and Alex. As beautiful as most of their memories were, the look on their faces when they were trapped in a bad one scared me. The guilt they had threatened to consume anyone that looked into their eyes.