‘Nearest airport!’ Information flashed up on to the miniature screen in front of her. ‘Timetables! OK, the last plane is in an hour and a half. Oops, mind that bush. Right, Mum’s credit-card details! Online booking! Good job I concentrated in computer class.’
The journey home took much, much longer than the Satispy trip to Scotland had. Janey was utterly and painfully worn out when at last she got out at the bus stop and sprinted the last few metres home. Even so, her mind raced back and forth over the night’s discoveries, struggling to make sense of them.
Janey forced her weary legs on through G-Mamma’s garden and skidded to a halt, crashing into the shed behind her own house. Lights flickered on inside the house as Janey struggled to her feet, running into the shadows under the back window like someone from a surprise gardening programme.
The back door opened. ‘Janey? Is that you? It’s the middle of the night!’
Wishing she’d remembered to do this when the guards had first grabbed her, Janey pointed her little finger into her mother’s face and squirted.
‘Sorry,’ she whispered, dragging her mum inside the house. ‘What is happening to me?’ she wondered aloud.
Janey could hardly believe that in one night she had sneaked off to Scotland, committed credit-card fraud and then stun-gassed her own mother.
three horrid heads
‘Blonde! Get your biddy bottom through here!’
Janey came to with a start. It felt like she’d only just gone to sleep. Blinking blearily, she rolled back the duvet and tottered over to the fireplace. G-Mamma was lying with her head through the partly opened panel.
‘You’re still in your SPI-suit! What are you thinking? You know the third rule – decode, debrief, de-Wow!’
‘Oh yeah!’ said Janey. ‘But I only got back an hour ago. The Satispy wasn’t there to bring me home again, was it?’
‘Oops!’ Even with her face on the floor, G-Mamma managed to look sorry. ‘I—’
‘Shh! Mum’s coming!’
Janey hastily shoved a cushion over G-Mamma’s head and leaped into bed, pulling the duvet up to her chin just as her mother pushed open the door.
‘Were you talking to someone?’ said Mrs Brown, a hand to her forehead.
‘No. Er, singing. To myself!’
Her mother looked at her suspiciously. ‘Right. I was hoping you could nip to the chemist’s for me to get some aspirin. I had a terrible night – some weird dream about you being abducted by aliens – and I’ve woken up with this vicious headache.’
Janey was horrified. She’d never even thought to check if the stun-gas had any after-effects. Her mum’s head might have fallen off, for all she knew. ‘Course I will, Mum. I’ll just get dressed.’ She smiled wanly as her mum staggered off back to bed.
A muffled voice hissed from behind the cushion, ‘I’ll come with you! We can debrief on the way.’
After quickly de-Wowing in G-Mamma’s SPI-lab, Janey trotted down with her and out the front door. She hurried along the street, ignoring the glances that G-Mamma’s aqua evening gown was getting from the other shoppers.
‘So how was Solomon?’ asked G-Mamma.
‘Didn’t see him. But I spoke to him. At least, it felt as though he was talking to me but there was nobody in the room. Maybe he was using a tape recording, or an intercom system. The reason he wasn’t there was that he’d had to escape from Ariel, who’d got to HQ before me, and she had her henchmen there and I thought they were Solomon’s security guards, and they tried to lock me up in the swimming pool but I got through the ceiling with the Back-boat . . .’
G-Mamma’s eyes blinked like a doll’s. ‘Slow down, Blonde! You’re losing me. Ariel was there? So who is he?’
‘Ariel’s a she, not a he. And I didn’t see much of her. Just her hands. She did look quite little though.’ Janey passed G-Mamma a carrier bag that contained the Girl-gauntlet. ‘I took a photo, I think.’
G-Mamma shook her head. ‘This is bad. The Sinerlesse Group must have intercepted Solomon’s message, interpreted it and got there before you. I did some checks on the envelope while you were gone. That gunk is lubricant for X-rays and UV scans. Someone had zapped it to see what was inside.’
‘It wasn’t just gloop from the bins?’
‘Nope. I don’t know how they got hold of your letter, Blonde. But they did.’
They turned the corner on to the high street and made their way to the chemist’s shop.
‘Well, Uncle Sol managed to escape. And so did I – no thanks to you and the Satispy. Which reminds me . . .’ Janey gave G-Mamma’s bottom a gentle kick.
‘OK, OK!’ For once G-Mamma’s cheeks were naturally red. ‘I goofed. If I could get down on my knees without ripping my seams, I would. Enough already. Go get poor Mumsy her tablets.’
Janey grinned and purchased some aspirin while G-Mamma visited the photographic counter. As they left the shop, G-Mamma waved a packet triumphantly at Janey.
‘Good photo, girly-girl! Look!’
Janey shuddered as she saw once again the small, slender hands pointing towards Janey’s prison. ‘There’s her nasty mutt. And what . . . what’s that?’
They both peered at the photo. Running under the desk, apparently coming out of a drawer, was a narrow tube. It was transparent, only visible at all because of the light glinting off it from the computer screen.
‘Hmm, I wonder.’ said G-Mamma, pointing a painted nail at the tube.
Janey shrugged. ‘I’ll tell you what. Uncle Solomon was definitely in the building with me somewhere. I just know it – he spoke to me. And he was trying to tell me something.’
They were nearly back home. ‘Like what?’ asked G-Mamma, a serious look on her face.
‘All I heard was, “Destroy the . . .” I mean, am I supposed to kill Ariel or something? I’m OK with the whole Spylet thing, but I don’t want to kill anyone.’
‘Don’t you worry about that, girly-girl. But this could be crucial. It’s another lead, Blonde! We need to regroup, spend the afternoon working on this, work out what it is you’re supposed to destroy,’ said G-Mamma, striding to her gate.
Janey remembered something and groaned. ‘I can’t. We’ve got to go for tea with Alfie and Mrs Halliday.’
‘Who?’
‘The headmistress and her son. It’s going to be a disaster – Alfie thinks I’m completely pathetic, for some reason.’
G-Mamma pulled a face. ‘Bad luck. Sounds hideous. Well, you’ll have to just keep thinking about what’s happened. We’ll work on it later. I’m going to do some more research on that frozen froggy.’
A couple of hours later, Janey was waiting for her mum to park the car near the Hallidays’ house in the school grounds when she saw a familiar small figure loitering with his hands in his pockets. Freddie Lear walked straight over to her and she glanced round, hoping Alfie wouldn’t spot her with Bin Boy again.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.
‘Extra bin-work at the weekend. You look awful,’ said Freddie. ‘Heavy night? Have you started actually sleeping in my bins now?’
Just as she was trying to come up with a clever retort, Janey’s eye was drawn to something twinkling around Freddie’s neck. It was a shiny silver locket. When he realized what she was looking at, Freddie grabbed the locket and stuffed it inside his jumper.
‘Have you started wearing girl’s jewellery now?’ retorted Janey.
‘It’s from my parents. They died. It’s all I’ve got, so just shut up,’ Freddie said savagely.
Janey bit her lip. ‘I’m so sorry. Is that why your sister looks after you?’
‘Yep. Anyway,’ Freddie continued, changing the subject, ‘my sister says that as she’s working with your mum, I should be nice to you.’
‘Oh,’ Janey said. ‘And how are you going to be nice to me?’
A little smile appeared at the corner of Freddie’s mouth. ‘Already have been, haven’t I? Who else has helped you out of bins and out of trees?’
Janey had to agree that Freddie always did pop up when she was in trouble. ‘Well, thanks. I’ve got to go. See you around.’
‘Yep, you will. Bye.’
A warm glow had appeared in Janey’s chest, and she had an urge to leap in the air and shout, ‘I’ve got a friend! I’ve got a friend!’ Instead she just smiled as her mum approached and together they walked up the Hallidays’ path.
Mrs Halliday threw open the heavy front door. ‘Welcome! Oh, do come in! I’m so glad you could make it! Alfie’s been dying to show you round, Janey.’
Alfie, skulking in the shadows along the hallway, looked as though he’d rather be setting fire to his own ears. Nonetheless, he managed a smile at Janey’s mum as they were ushered through to the large country-style kitchen at the back of the house.
As the kettle whistled on the stove, Mrs Halliday took a teapot down from the high shelf that ran all around the walls of the kitchen. ‘Look! Not a speck of dust. Those school cleaners are excellent,’ she said. ‘Shame that Alfie’s room is such a state they refuse to go in there. Now, who’s for tea?’
Janey started to relax. As long as Mrs Halliday’s spiky teeth were buried in food she didn’t have to look at them, and, chewing cheerfully on her English muffin, the headmistress looked quite ordinary. Janey’s mum was settling in too, leaning further back into the curved wooden chair and responding easily to Mrs Halliday’s questions with smiles and laughs. Alfie and Janey ate in silence, eyeing each other warily.
As soon as everyone had finished, Mrs Halliday wiped her lips neatly and turned to her son. ‘Alfie, why don’t you show Janey round the house? It’s a really interesting old place. Early Victorian.’
‘It’s fascinating,’ said Alfie, in his usual deadpan voice.
Janey’s mum smiled. ‘I’m sure Janey would love a little tour, Alfie. Our house is so small you can see into every room from the upstairs landing.’
‘Off you go then, you two!’ Mrs Halliday poured more tea into Mrs Brown’s cup and her own. The children had clearly been dismissed from the room. Alfie trudged into the hallway, and Janey followed with a desperate glance back at her mother.
Rolling his eyes, Alfie stuck out his hand like a tour guide. ‘You’ve just passed through the wonderful, warm, cosy heart of the house, otherwise known as the kitchen. Next –’ he flung open a door – ‘the dining room. Then the lounge. And finally on this floor we have the morning room. Or as I like to call it, the “get-away-from-mymother-and-watch-TV” room.’
‘Wish we had a room like that!’ said Janey brightly. ‘Mum and I can only get away from each other in the bathroom. And sometimes even that’s difficult!’
‘Erm, too much information, Brown?’
‘Sorry.’ Janey looked around for some distraction. Fancy talking to the Class Superstar about being on the toilet! Her face flared as she headed towards a small door under the staircase. ‘What about this door?’
Janey turned the handle, and Alfie reacted as if he’d been branded with a hot iron. ‘No, don’t . . .’ He clamped his hand over hers and shoved the door closed again. ‘Not in there! I mean, it’s just a broom cupboard. Nothing interesting in there.’
‘Er, OK,’ said Janey slowly.
But she knew Alfie was lying. What Janey had spotted while the door was ajar was not a broom cupboard at all, but a set of stainless-steel steps leading down into darkness. What was Alfie so desperate to hide?
‘I’ll show you my bedroom,’ he said quickly.
Reluctantly Janey went up the stairs after him. Maybe if Alfie went to the loo she’d have a chance to find out what was at the bottom of those stairs. Janey looked around his huge room, taking in the piled-up football kit, the wildlife books and the model aeroplanes. Above his desk was a big pinboard. ‘Wow, you’ve got loads of postcards! They’re from everywhere.’
‘Yep. From my dad. He works all over the world.’
‘Do you miss him when he’s away?’
‘Nope,’ said Alfie shortly. ‘Look, there’s a photo of me and my mum skiing.’
Janey looked at the photograph. Alfie and Mrs Halliday were struggling to stay upright on their skis, hanging on to each other and laughing with their heads thrown back to the azure skies. Peering more closely, Janey noticed that Mrs Halliday’s teeth had been normal when this picture was taken. Alfie picked up a snow-globe paperweight from his desk and stared at it. ‘Do you like skiing?’
‘Never done it.’
‘Oh well,’ he said slowly, turning the paperweight over. ‘Don’t suppose you’d enjoy it much anyway. All that snow. And . . . ice.’
Janey felt the back of her neck tingle. The way Alfie had reacted to the room under the stairs was suspicious. And now Janey couldn’t help feeling he knew rather more than she would like him to. There was something about the way he’d said ‘ice’. Something about the way he’d looked deeply into her eyes. What if Mrs Halliday and Alfie had separated Janey and her mother on purpose? What if Alfie was up here foraging for information from her, holding a hefty snow-globe in quite a threatening way, and Needle-Teeth was at work on her mum downstairs? ‘Stay cool, Blonde,’ Janey imagined G-Mamma saying. ‘Don’t give anything away.’
‘Yeah,’ she answered as jauntily as she could, ‘all that cold stuff. Yuck. Who needs it? Let’s go and find out what they’re up to downstairs, shall we?’ Spinning around, she opened the door smartly and headed down the stairs.
Alfie ran after her across the landing. ‘Janey, wait . . .’
But she was already downstairs near the end of the corridor and could see her mother’s serious expression as she talked with Mrs Halliday. As Janey approached, she saw the headmistress’s hand reach across the table for a large carving knife. She was picking it up. She was pointing it towards her mother. She was plunging it downwards in a terrifying arc—
‘No!’ Janey yelled, charging headlong into the kitchen. But as she ran through the doorway, there was a scraping sound above her and suddenly something huge and heavy struck her head with a mighty clamour. Janey fell to her knees, dazed.
‘Oh, Janey! How dreadful! How on earth did that happen? I am so, so sorry.’ Mrs Halliday stood in horror with her hand over her mouth while Mrs Brown fell to her knees beside Janey.
‘Mum, you’re waggling my head again . . .’
‘I am! Sorry! Are you OK? Oh Janey, you poor sweetheart! Why do these things keep happening to you?’
Janey rubbed her head; a large bump was already apparent under her thin hair and she could feel a warm slick of blood against her fingers. The large metal bucket that had fallen off the shelf and on to her skull lay on its side near the fridge. ‘I’m all right, Mum. Honestly. I’m fine.’
Alfie picked up the bucket. ‘Wow! That is one heavy bucket! Can’t believe you weren’t completely knocked out!’
‘Alfie!’ said Mrs Halliday sharply. ‘I don’t think that’s very helpful, do you? Now, help Janey up and we’ll take a look at that cut.’
But Mrs Brown had other ideas. ‘Look, I think I’ll just take her round to casualty. You can’t be too careful with head injuries, can you? Sorry to have to go so soon!’
‘Of course. You must put your mind at rest,’ said Mrs Halliday. ‘Please give me a call later and let me know how Janey is. I’m so ashamed that something like this should happen here, when we were so keen to help Janey settle in! Here, take that slice of cake I was just about to cut for you.’
Mrs Halliday handed them their coats, along with a napkin-wrapped chunk of carrot cake, and showed them to the door while Alfie studied the bucket. Janey’s head throbbed with pain, but still she ran for the car, desperate to get away from the Hallidays’ house.
Mrs Brown got into the driver’s seat, rubbed Janey’s hand anxiously and turned on the ignition. ‘Right, hospital for you, young lady.’
‘No, I’m fine. I just want to go home.’
But her mother was not to be placated. After about an hour, during which Janey heard the metallic clang
of the bucket a thousand times in her head, the doctor finally confirmed that her skull had not been smashed, she didn’t have concussion and she should just go home and rest.
Later, her mum pulled the duvet up to Janey’s chin and resettled the bag of frozen peas on her swollen head. ‘Do you know, Mrs Halliday was just asking me if anything was worrying you, when all that happened. She thought you seemed very tired and a little distracted, and was asking why that might be. You would tell me, wouldn’t you, darling, if there was something wrong?’
‘Of course I would,’ replied Janey weakly. If only I could, she thought.
‘It’s nothing to do with our new next-door neighbour, is it?’
‘No. I’m fine, really. I even made a friend today!’
‘Oh, great! I do think Alfie seems a nice young man.’
‘Not Alfie! Freddie. You know – Miss Lear’s little brother.’
Her mother smiled. ‘Well, that’s very nice. But I’m sure Alfie would like to be friends too.’
Janey just smiled. She couldn’t help thinking that what Alfie would really like was something quite different.
After Mrs Brown had left the room, Janey lay in the dark listening to her thumping head. As soon as she heard her mum’s bedroom door click shut, she clambered out of bed and through the tunnel into G-Mamma’s. Bump or no bump, she had to let G-Mamma know her suspicions about the Hallidays.
G-Mamma promised to check out the Hallidays’ house when they were back at school on Monday, and Janey leaped into the Wower for a soothing few minutes. It stopped the pain in her head, and Janey looked forward to telling her mum that the disappearance of the big bloody lump was all down to her brilliant frozen-pea cure.
tea and sympathy
Janey slept for most of Sunday.
‘You’re ill,’ said her mother. ‘No school for you tomorrow.’
Janey stopped her face from breaking into a huge smile. A chance to get back to SPI work!
The next morning she lay still, trying to look as peaky as possible, while her mother fussed around her.
Jane Blonde: Sensational Spylet Page 9