by Shayne Ford
“I’m not going away.”
“She’ll want your heart...” he says, and a few moments of silence sneak between us as I try to come up with the right words. “What were you talking about last night? When you were dancing with her?” he asks.
I look at him and stay silent.
“I’ve watched you from the side. You were completely lost in each other’s eyes, removed from your surroundings. I studied her eyes and her expression. She’s touched your face several times. There was so much tenderness in her touch, and so much melancholy in her eyes. There’s a part of her that’s only yours. It’s the purest, most enduring part of all. When the time comes, she’ll claim you, and she’ll want all of you. Your attention and your time and your memories. She’ll want your life, and despite what she says right now, she’ll want to have your babies. And there’s nothing wrong with that. She’ll want a life with you. A life of exclusivity and safety. A clean place. She’ll want your loyalty. That’s how she looked at you last night.”
He cuts his eyes to the sea.
“And before that day will come I’ll have to go... I know it. It’s just that I keep pushing it away.”
I curl my arms around his shoulders and pull him to me.
“I don’t think we can tell what the future holds. Not even you can tell,” I say, smiling, my arm snaking around his neck, and he laughs softly.
9
VIOLET
Sunlight brushes the curtains as the Mediterranean breeze sweeps the floors.
The sea sparkles in the background, white ghostly ships sailing offshore. I wrap a short robe around my body and stroll across the house.
The sound of their voices mixed with the noise of splashing water draws me to the backyard.
I walk outside just as they pull out of the pool, dragging sexual energy after them, crackling like electricity.
I make a beeline for the breakfast table.
“Look who’s here,” Braxton says in a better mood than last night.
He strides to me, flashing a naughty smile.
“Stay away from me,” I say, grinning, not at all eager to feel his wet skin against mine.
“Jagger?” I call for help.
Screaming, I run to him, chased by Braxton.
“Leave her alone, man,” Jagger says laughing, blocking Braxton.
“I thought he got laid,” I say from behind Jagger, and they burst into laughter.
“He’s actually worse after he gets laid,” Jagger says, and spins to me, wrapping his arms around me.
Braxton’s hand goes at the back of my neck as he gives me a tender kiss on my cheek.
“Let’s fucking eat. We were waiting for you,” he says, and darts to the table.
He pulls a chair out for me. They both study me furtively as I take a seat.
“Who prepared all this?” I ask pointing at the continental breakfast.
Eggs, fruit, and flaky croissants. Jars of jam and magdalenas, the freshly baked lemon-flavored cupcakes served with cafe con leche.
“Same people who cleaned up the disaster left in your wake two nights ago,” Braxton says, gracing me with a smile.
Jagger runs his teeth over his lip, a grin beaming on his face. My heart beats faster as I read his eyes. Clasping his fingers under his chin, he holds my gaze.
“What is it, Violet?
I suck in a gulp of air.
“Nothing.”
“You brought her to her knees. That’s what it is,” Braxton says, watching me over the rim of his cup.
“You’re such a smartass, Braxton,” I say, blushing.
“That... he is,” Jagger says.
“You can’t hide it, baby. It is what it is.” He sets his cup on the table. “So when are you going to come back?” Braxton asks.
My smile fades out. I take a long breath, suddenly anxious.
“I have to give notice to my job and then talk to the owner and end the lease.”
“I can help you with that,” Jagger says. “He’s a friend of my father.”
We start eating, and as we talk about the logistics of me moving to Spain, more angst creeps up on me. This place looks like paradise, and it probably is, but my gut tells me that somewhere hidden in there is an invisible door that could take me straight to hell.
I look at them surreptitiously and realize how hard I’d fallen for Jagger, and how deeply I feel for Braxton and how I can’t imagine my life without him either.
“Violet?”
“Yes?”
My voice sounds strained.
Jagger’s eyes darken while Braxton’s smile vanishes from his face.
“What’s going on, baby?” Jagger asks, sensing my hesitation.
“Nothing.”
I toss the napkin on the table and push out of my chair.
“I need to make a few phone calls,” I say and rush back inside the house.
No one follows me.
JAGGER
I’m ready to jump out of my chair and run after her when Braxton’s hand grips my arm, keeping me in place.
“Let her go, Jagger. She’s done it so many times. She’ll come back.”
“This time is different. If she has second thoughts now, she’s not gonna come back.”
“She will.”
A voice screams inside me.
I run my hands over my face and close my eyes, and then I peek at him through my fingers. A sad smile creases his lips, a shadow veiling his eyes.
Slowly, he shakes his head, and jerks out of his chair. This time, I pull up and run after him.
I grab his arm.
We clash stares, passion and panic and anger burning through his eyes.
“Don’t do this to me, Braxton,” I growl.
His eyes dive into mine as he closes the gap between us.
“If I’m the problem, I need to know. We both knew it would come to this, Jagger. We’ve discussed it so many times.”
“It’s not you, Braxton. It’s a big step for her.”
“You may be right, but I need to know.”
He tries to pull away, and I hold him back.
“Don’t do this Braxton.”
“I’m not doing anything. I want to make things clear for her and easy for you.”
“What the fuck are you saying, man?”
His breath rolls on my lips.
“I told you I would not stand in your way, Jagger.” He cups my face with both hands, his eyes drowning into mine. “This thing was crazy from the get-go, and we both knew it wouldn’t last.”
“Was it really a choice?” I murmur, and a sad smile pushes to his lips. “We said we’d never crush what lies within our hearts. This is fucking life,” I say quietly, and his thumbs brush my face, his lips so close to my mouth.
“Is it really, Jagger?” he says softly, his eyes darting back and forth. “How can you say that to me? Do we really give our hearts a fucking chance?”
His hand slides down my neck and on my chest, and I feel his touch deep inside my body.
And then a crushing pain in my heart that makes me clench my jaw.
“It’s not that fucking easy, is it?” he says sorrowful, his eyes sparkling, and then he pulls away, and jogs up the stairs.
VIOLET
The door shuts behind me.
I turn around.
“Liv, I have to go. I’ll call you as soon as I get back,” I say, my eyes trained on Braxton’s as he strides to me.
“Is anything wrong?” I ask searching his eyes.
The light slipping through the drapes dances on his shoulders. He edges to me, takes my phone from my hand and tosses it on a nearby armchair.
My mouth falls open.
His hands come to my face.
“This will not work, Violet,” he says, softly, and I instantly lose my breath.
“What are you talking about...?”
“You’ll break us both.”
A veil of tears slides over my eyes.
“I don’t want to hurt anyon
e,” I murmur, still confused.
“Then don’t do it. He senses everything you feel. And when you fear, he does. And when you pull away, he crumbles. And it hurts him, and then me when I see him torn. We both love him, and he loves both of us, but he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you. ”
He narrows his eyes, and I gape at him, fascinated by the beauty streaming in his features. He senses my moment of weakness, and gently, rolls his fingers over my face, his thumbs brushing my tears away.
He keeps stroking my face, and then he wraps and arm around me and pulls me into him, his groin pressing flush against me.
“Please don’t do that,” I say, briefly closing my eyes.
He nuzzles the side of my neck and then leans close to my ear, his hand sliding up my back, weaving into my hair.
“Because you like it too much...?”
I nod and gasp.
“Yes...”
He slips his hands inside my robe and runs his palms over my chest and shoulders, sliding it off. The fabric crumples at my waist.
“Please...” I whisper, my nipples hard and aching.
I open my eyes and meet his gaze, almost gray in the shadow, fascinating and mysterious. I dip my gaze to his lips as they slowly curve into a smile.
Angling his head, he brings his mouth to mine, and I quiver with emotion as if we’ve never kissed. The touch of his tongue against mine sparks a frenzy in my body.
Kissing me softly, he slides his fingers down my stomach and unties my belt.
The robe falls to the floor.
He hooks his arms under my thighs, lifts me up, and wraps my legs around his waist. He nears the bed and lays me down, and then he peels out of his shorts and slides on top of me.
His eyes never leave mine.
Smiling, he takes my mouth and slowly enters me. I sink my nails into his back, moaning.
“Braxton?”
He’s tense and tender and somewhat different.
I sense the desperation in him... And then a wound inside him. Open. Bleeding. Making his heart scream.
I break the kiss.
He looks at me, his face flushed, his eyes ablaze with lust and pain, his breaths rolling heavy.
“What is it, baby?” I ask lovingly as if I speak with Jagger. His eyes fill with unspoken works. “What happened? Please tell me,” I say, angst threading through my voice.
“If you ever want me gone, please come to me...” he finally says with a soft voice, and a weight falls on my chest. “Don’t make him choose. All right?”
His words slash my heart, making me bleed. Like him.
“Why would you say that to me?”
Brushing away the tears pooled in my lashes, he dips his eyes to my lips and smiles.
He’s not going to answer.
He lowers his mouth to me again, and I twine my arms around his neck and lock his lips, falling with him.
My legs wrap and lock around him as he buries me under him, thrusting into me and pushing me to the edge.
He slams me harder, with every kiss and every thrust wrapping love around me, tying me and shackling me, making it impossible to escape.
From him.
From them.
Jagger’s done it before. And now he’s doing it too.
I hold onto him as he drives me all the way up and then pulls me down with him. We both come, my body tensing and shaking under him.
Sweaty and panting, we look into each other’s eyes as we scale down, our bodies still entangled.
His fingers flutter across my cheeks, a secret smile lighting up his spellbinding eyes.
Silently, he places a soft kiss on my lips, pushes up to his arms, and leaves my body.
He walks away and vanishes into the bathroom.
Minutes later, I hear him going through a second door, the sound of his footsteps fading away before the silence reigns supreme again as if he’s never been in this dark, cold room where curtains flutter in the wind, and the air smells like sex, where I can still hear the echo of our moans and feel the ropes of love he used to tie my heart.
10
VIOLET
“Are you sure?” Liv asks, her eyes following me as I seal the last box and slide it to the side.
Wiping the sweat from my brow, I plop into a chair.
“No, I’m not,” I say, bringing the glass filled with lemonade to my lips.
The evening sets in, the sounds of crickets, birds, and frogs drifting through the hot, humid air.
“I mean I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared.”
“How is your family reacting?”
“Not good, and I can’t blame them.”
“What did you tell them?”
I glance at her.
“I’m taking a sabbatical and traveling overseas to do research for a book.”
“It doesn’t sound that bad,” she says, smiling.
“To them it’s right there with getting involved with a sex cult. No sane or serious person does that.”
She lets out a soft chuckle.
“I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is.”
Her eyes light up.
“Hey, at least everything turned out the way you wanted it,” she says.
She’s right. The thing is, she only knows half of the story, and by half, I mean one man.
“I’m happy for you. I wish I could leave everything behind and settle in Spain with a hot man.”
Make that two.
“You’re going to have a lot of fun.”
Nodding slowly, I stifle a grin.
She has no idea.
“That’s not bad, trading the drudgery of a job and the aftermath of a divorce with a love nest on the Spanish coast.”
“Yes, that’s one way to put it, or you can say that I went from a stable job, great career and independent living, to being unemployed, supported by my younger lover, and running away from his family and mine.”
She gives me a heartfelt smile.
“Listen, this kind of thing doesn’t come along twice. Grab it with both hands, and enjoy it as long as it lasts.”
My phone beeps. I glance at the screen.
“The pickup truck is here,” I say.
She pushes up to her feet and gives me a hug. Tears come to our eyes.
“Have a safe trip,” she says.
“We’ll talk,” I mumble.
She rushes outside as the hired men pick up the first boxes.
The summer wind blows in my hair, caresses my skin, and rides my soft dress up. The sky is dark on the horizon, brewing a storm, but close to us, the light is warm and thick like honey.
Straddled over Jagger’s lap, I thread my fingers through his hair as he buries his face into my chest.
I press his head between my breasts just as Braxton peels his eyes off the road and glances at us.
Jagger shoots his hand up and nudges him to look back at the road.
“Can you please pay attention to driving?”
Jagger shifts his focus back to me, his lips and tongue teasing a nipple through the fabric of my dress. He flicks my buttons open and tugs the bra down, pressing his moist lips on my chest.
A slant of wind sweeps my skin, covering me with goosebumps. He cups my mounds and kneads them, his tongue lapping at the puckered nipples.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Braxton adjusting his erection.
Like Jagger, he wears swim trunks, his bronzed skin shining like amber silk, making his hair look darker and his eyes almost silver.
I clutch the edge of the open sunroof as Jagger slides his hands up my thighs and grabs my hips.
Slowly, I start to wave my body, drawing small circles on his lap, massaging his hard cock.
“Why would you do this, Violet?” Braxton says, grinning, his eyes flicking up at me.
Giving him a naughty smile, I run the tip of my tongue over my lips.
His hand goes between his legs, palming his hard-on as he quietly bites back a curse.
&n
bsp; Jagger laughs, his eyes sparkling–– dark green tinged with light borrowed from the sunset, the sun of Spain flowing through his hair and skin.
He flashes a happy grin that fills my heart with joy.
Holding my gaze, he runs his hand up my skirt, slips his fingers inside my panties and brushes the soft, moist flesh between my thighs.
“Can you slow down?” he tosses to Braxton who takes a few sharp curves as he mans the car onto the snaking road.
Braxton tilts his sunglasses down his nose and studies us over the rim, his eyes glittering like the sea.
“You two are not fucking in my car. Okay?”
Jagger’s lips curve into a lopsided grin that makes me crave him even more between my legs.
“What’s your fucking problem, man?” Jagger asks, soaking me in.
More light washes over him, gleaming in his eyes, shimmering in his hair and lingering on his lips, this perfect image of him, vibrant and young and happy, captured into the ocean of memories living in my mind.
I drink him in, indulging in this perfect moment in time, feasting on his joy, the vibrant freedom beaming in his eyes, and the unleashed love for life brightening up his face.
The wind blows his hair over his eyes. He runs his fingers through his bangs and sweeps it all back.
Braxton shakes his head.
“My problem is that I can’t drive with a fucking boner. That’s what my problem is.”
They both start laughing, and I bring my hands to Jagger’s face, tilt my head down and taste the summer on his lips. His kiss is soft and sensual and then it’s hot and deep, his cock stirring hard between my legs.
“Sorry man. It’s not my call,” he murmurs against my lips, his eyes smiling.
“I’m so happy you’re here for good, Violet,” he mutters as if we’re alone.
Grinning mischievously, he tilts his chin up and softly motions to me. I push up, and prop a knee on his shoulder while he tugs my thong down, and brings his mouth between my thighs.
Grabbing the back of his hair with my free hand, I start rolling my hips. My body quickly turns into a blazing fire. His mouth presses on my sex, his tongue swirling through my folds. My hips begin to shake.