Tongue tied, she tried to come up with something light to say. “There sure is a lot of snow.” She wanted to reach over and touch him, but for some reason she held back. She wanted him to reach over and touch her, but he gripped the steering wheel with both hands, his dazzling blue eyes focused on the icy roads.
“You can’t beat our mountains for beauty any time of year, but the snow really is something. November snow never lasts long though. It should be melted enough for you to get back to riding tomorrow. But first, you can enjoy a day of rest and relaxation. I’m sure Molly will have organized some activities to keep all you dudes entertained.”
When Jeff pulled up in front of the Peaktop ranchhouse, June had to admit that she was glad she had not had to drive that slippery, curvy road. She had totally trusted Jeff to get her back safely.
Jeff put the vehicle into park, turned toward her, and looked deep into her eyes with his mesmerizing blue ones. “Last night was special to me—very special.”
“It was for me, too. Thank you for everything.”
“No, darling, thank you for being you.” Jeff planted a gentle kiss on her lips that sent shivers down her spine. Before she could even try to deepen the contact, he jumped out and walked around the vehicle to open her door. “I’d better be getting back.”
“See you soon?” June whispered as she hesitantly stepped out of his truck.
“You can count on it.” Jeff grinned as he climbed in the truck and took off down the driveway in a spray of snow.
* * *
June walked up to her room, discarded her purse and sweater. Grabbing her leather jacket, she headed down to the main lodge to see what was going on with the other guests. She had thought about changing out of Jeff’s flannel shirt but decided against it. It smelled too good—like him—and was soft against her skin. As she walked in the building, she was surprised to see the other guests already at lunch. She had just had breakfast. Oh yeah, they had slept in.
“Glad to see you back. Come sit with us,” Molly called out as she walked into the dining hall. “How are JW and Luke?”
“Good.” June felt her face go warm again. She had blushed so many times in the last few days. She was surprised her face didn’t just remain a constant shade of red. She couldn’t remember when she had last blushed like this. Maybe high school?
“You were wise not to try and drive back last night. The snow was coming down pretty hard,” Molly added.
“It was still pretty slick this morning. Jeff drove me back in his truck. He and Luke are planning to drop off my car later.”
“That JW—he always has been a considerate man. You haven’t missed much here. I think everyone slept in this morning. We’ll probably get some cards out this afternoon and hang out by the fire. We should be able to ride again tomorrow.”
June relaxed somewhat even though she felt like there must be a telltale sign on her forehead that read, I had sex last night. She smiled at the thought. It had been so long, too long. And she felt wonderful. She willed herself to not let the feeling fade. Enjoy the glow.
It turned out to be an enjoyable afternoon, playing cards and laughing with other guests. Nancy and Walter were glad to have her back and included her in their game. Under normal circumstances, she would have been entirely content to spend a day this way, but she couldn’t stop her thoughts from constantly returning to Jeff and how she would so much rather be with him. What was he doing? She thought about him at least a hundred times throughout the day. Dang the mountains and their lack of cell phone reception. She wanted to call or text him and just say hi, but not enough to use the pay phone in front of everyone. Did he even have a cell phone? She didn’t remember seeing him with one. Suddenly she felt very isolated. She didn’t even have a car.
That night June lay awake for what seemed like hours in the large comfortable bed. She should be tired; after all she really didn’t get much sleep the previous night. She relived the entire evening with Jeff over and over. She could almost feel him beside her, caressing her body. Sometime around midnight, doubts started to creep into her head. What if she never got to feel his touch again? How did he feel about what had happened between them? She had heard men were much more able to separate sex from love than women. What did she know? Her experience with men was so limited. There had been Ed—and now Jeff. That’s it. She had nothing to compare this to. No way to guess how he felt. What if she didn’t even see him again before it was time to leave Sunday morning? Would she drive over to his ranch and make a fool of herself? And what would she say?
“God, please let him contact me soon,” she whispered in a fervent prayer. She found a small degree of relief in the fact that he had her car. She would see him when he brought it back. Tossing and turning, she finally fell into a fitful sleep.
* * *
Thursday morning the snow had melted considerably, and after bundling up, she climbed into the saddle and rode back out on the trails. The day passed without incident—or any word from Jeff. On Friday the snow was gone. The warm sun beat down on her head while she rode, erasing all traces of the recent snowstorm. As she arrived back into the corral that afternoon, she noticed her little Subaru was parked in front of the ranch house. Her heart fluttered in her chest. She had to hold herself back as she took care of unsaddling and unbridling her horse and brushing him down. Then as fast as she could, she ran breathlessly to the main lodge in search of Jeff.
Molly looked up when she saw June enter. “I have your keys. Luke and JW dropped your car off a couple hours ago. They couldn’t stick around. JW said to tell you he would see you later.”
June’s heart sank. See me later? What the heck did that mean? Later when? She wanted to scream. After a fabulous night of passionate love-making, now two days had passed with no contact. She would never understand men.
“Thanks,” she mumbled as she grabbed the keys and quickly left the building before Molly could see the tears forming in her eyes. Was she about to go back to her old life without Jeff? Trouble was—she didn’t want to do that. Life without Jeff seemed bleak at best.
Suddenly, she missed Laddie so much! Oh, to bury her face in his fuzzy fur. It always made her feel so much better. Since she didn’t feel like she should call Jeff, she did the next best thing and called Betty to see how Laddie was getting along.
“Betty, its June. How’s Laddie doing?”
Betty’s voice sounded strange. “He’s fine June. How’s life at the ranch?”
“It’s good,” June said half-heartedly. “I wanted to make sure he was okay after our conversation a few nights ago.” Silence. “Has he adjusted to other people being in his house?”
“He’s adjusting,” Betty said.
Betty’s voice sounded strange. Was there something she wasn’t telling her? She didn’t know if she could go on right now if something happened to Laddie. He was the only constant in her life.
“Are you sure he’s okay?”
“Like I said, he’s fine. Don’t you worry. The two of you will be having a happy reunion before you know it.”
“Oh, I can’t wait. I miss him! I should be there by midafternoon on Tuesday.”
“Okay, see you then.” Betty hung up abruptly which was not like her at all. Something was definitely going on with her.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Luke smiled watching his dad work on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday, trying to pretend life was going on as usual. Luke didn’t know for sure, but he suspected that his dad and June had spent Tuesday night in the same bed. As little as he wanted to think about his dad having sex, he would be so happy for him if that was the case. Luke really liked June—she seemed made for his father. Now that he was an adult himself, he couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for his dad to lose his soul mate and the mother of his children, in such a tragic way. His dad had put on such a brave front for him and Mathew all these years. It could not have been easy. He deserved some happiness. Luke vowed to make sure Dad didn’t mess this up.
&
nbsp; As they sat down for dinner that night, Luke said, “So Dad, when are we going to see June again?”
Jeff looked pensive. “I’ve been trying to figure that one out. What do you think I should do?”
“I think that’s up to you. But seriously, she makes you smile and makes you happy, and you deserve that more than anything. If you let her go back to Ohio this time, you may lose her forever. You need to do something and do something fast!”
“Are you sure you are ready for me to be romantically involved with a woman who is not your mother? Is it too soon for you?”
Luke laughed. “Mom has been gone for eight years. How could it possibly be too soon? And unless I’m blind, you’ve already become romantically involved with June, so that decision has become a moot point.”
“But I don’t have to take this any further if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“Dad, you have put me first for 20 years. The only thing that makes me uncomfortable about this situation is the fact that you might give up your heart’s desire and chance at true happiness with the misguided thought that you still need to take care of me. For God’s sake, if she’s what you want, go for it.”
* * *
Jeff smiled. He had truly raised a remarkable, insightful, young man. And dammit, Luke was right. If he let June leave on Sunday, he would regret it for the rest of his life. He needed time to think. He didn’t want to rush her or scare her off. She sure seemed to want to be with him the other night. Just remembering their night together brought a warm response to his heart, and other parts of his body.
Much to his delight, all the right parts still worked. It had been so long that he had been unsure. When he met Susan, they were 18 years old, and they were both virgins on their wedding night. They had learned the art of lovemaking together. Now, forty years later, he had entered into uncharted territory. Somehow Tuesday night had been just as special, just as new –a reawakening of his soul.
Jeff had heard all the jokes that older women his age were no longer interested in sex. Occasionally when he had thought about trying to find a new relationship, he had assumed it might be more of a friendship than something filled with wild passion. He had been afraid that his days of lust and amazing sex had passed him by while he was raising his sons. But with June, his passion that had been dormant for so long had come alive. And unless he was a really poor judge of women, she had returned that passion in equal amounts. What a wonderful discovery.
“Dad, you still with me?”
Luke’s voice snapped him back out of his daydream and into the present moment. “You’re right, son. I need a plan, and I need it now. Are you with me?”
“You bet. What can I do to help?”
* * *
Saturday morning June awoke with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. This was it. She would take one final ride this morning, pack up her things, and attend the last dinner tonight. She would try to enjoy the skits the guests were putting on about their week at the ranch. She, Nancy, and Walter had come up with what they thought to be a funny one about their aches and pains throughout the week. It was sure to be a laughter-filled evening. That is, if she could forget about Jeff long enough to truly enjoy it.
Compounding the stress and worry over losing Jeff, she worried about Laddie, too. Betty’s voice had sounded strange and she was not her usual talkative self. She hoped with all her heart that there wasn’t something wrong with Laddie that Betty wasn’t telling her. If she lost him too… well, it was too horrible to think about.
June walked down to the main lobby to the pay phone and dialed the number by heart.
“Fran, do you have a minute?”
“Of course. I always have time for my best pal. Aren’t you supposed to be in Colorado on that marvelous vacation? Is something wrong? Have you seen the cowboy?”
“Oh Fran. I’m so confused. I spent the night with Jeff on Tuesday. It was the most amazing night of my life, but now I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I don’t know how to do this dating thing.”
“When you say ‘spent the night’…”
June started to sob. “Yes, I slept with him. I thought it meant as much to him as it did to me, but now I’m not so sure. What do I do if it comes time to leave tomorrow and I still haven’t heard from him?”
Fran laughed. “I could send Larry out there to beat him up. Seriously, Junebug, you are an amazing woman. Don’t sell yourself short. If you really like this man, and if he doesn’t come to you, go to him. Take a chance. After all, isn’t that why you are back in Colorado? You wanted to take a chance on love?”
“You’re right.” June snuffed back her tears. “I think I’m in love with him. I just don’t want to go through another heartbreak. Thanks, again for always being here for me. I’ll let you know what happens.”
“Don’t forget our favorite old saying : you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take! Call again anytime you need me. You are much stronger than you know.”
June endured her last ride that morning, trying to appreciate all the Rocky Mountain beauty for perhaps the last time. She spent the afternoon rehearsing with Nancy and Walter for their skit and packing to leave in the morning. At one point, she simply stopped and lay down on the bed and sobbed. She needed to pull herself together. It was over. Was it really better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all? This hurt so bad she wasn’t sure. Yes it was. She wouldn’t trade the time she had spent with Jeff for anything. She would always have Colorado—at least in her heart.
* * *
After their Saturday chores were completed, Jeff saddled up Buck and headed out of the barn.
“Where are you off to?” Luke called after him.
“Just need to clear my head. Be back soon.”
He spurred the horse into a gallop and tore off across the pasture. Nothing like a good full out canter to clear your mind. It was like he was on the edge of a cliff and not sure if he wanted to jump off. There was one thing he knew he had to do before the day was over. As he reached the western edge of the pasture, the trails leading up the slopes were still covered in a thin layer of snow. They looked passable though, so he guided Buck up the narrow, familiar trail. The horse knew the routine; so many times they had traveled this route over the last eight years. When they got to the top, the horse stopped and stood quietly as his master climber off and secured his reins to a nearby tree. As Jeff walked to the small bench on the edge of the cliff, the wind picked up whistling through the pine trees like a train coming into the station.
He sat down and stared into the distance in silence.
“You know I’ll always love you, Susan,” he said barely above a whisper as the wind scattered his words like autumn leaves. “The fact is—I’ve met someone. I know you’d like her. She’s sweet and kind. Luke likes her. She makes me feel alive again after all these lonely years. I want her to be a permanent part of my life, but I need your blessing.”
Tears streamed down stinging his face in the cold air. He grabbed the bandana out of his pocket and blew his nose, wiping the tears as more and more fell. Was she here? Would she understand? He didn’t want to betray her, but he needed to move on with his life. He hung his head until the tears finally stopped. As he looked up, a bright ray of sunshine shone out from behind the thick wall of gray clouds. His future looked as bright as the mountain top and he knew he had her blessing. Mounting Buck, he headed him back down the trail to his new life.
* * *
June was finding it hard to get enthused about dressing up for the evening activities, but in the end realized the better she looked, the better she felt. She took her time, curling her hair, putting on makeup, and dressing in a pair of soft, wool navy slacks with a light blue angora sweater and the new turquoise jewelry she had purchased in the ranch gift shop. She glanced in the mirror on her way out. Not bad—Jeff did not know what he was giving up.
A few minute later, she joined Nancy, Walter, and several others at a big table for dinner. Everyone was
in a good mood, reminiscing about the week that had passed so quickly. They jokingly anticipated the various skits, and talked about all their future plans to return to Peaktop, either during the upcoming summer season or next fall for another roundup.
“So June,” Walter asked, “can we count on you to be here at the roundup next fall, too? We’ve already booked our reservation.”
“I don’t know,” June said reluctantly. “Since I am in the middle of moving and finding a new job, it depends where I am this time next year. You know I’d love to, if I can fit it into my schedule.”
As the conversation continued to the others at the table and their plans, June’s mood sunk even lower. She didn’t know if she would ever want to return here. Peaktop, although a truly wonderful place, would always mean Jeff. If she couldn’t have him, it might be pure torture to come back here, where the image of him would be so strong. It would be much easier to forget about him in Ohio, where there was nothing to remind her of what had been or might have been.
When the dinner dishes had been cleared and everyone was served coffee, the ranch staff pushed the tables to one side of the hall to make room for the makeshift stage. June temporarily forgot about her problems, and laughed until there were tears in her eyes as group after group made lighthearted fun of their week at the ranch, at the comical expense of themselves and others. Each group held up a banner with the name of their skit before beginning. June and her group led off with their skit, “A Pain in the Rear (and other places),” followed by other clever titles such as “Back off the saddle again” and “Where, oh where have the little cows gone?” It was truly entertaining, but still June was relieved when she realized that all of the guests had taken their turns. She needed to retreat to her room where she could brood in peace.
Colorado Sunset (Peakview Series Book 1) Page 14