Breathe

Home > Other > Breathe > Page 11
Breathe Page 11

by Hazel Robinson


  “Marcus this isn’t your fight…” I break off. “Walk away now before it’s too late.”

  He rests his forehead on mine and I can feel his warm breath against my skin. “It’s too late for me to walk away Evvie.”

  “Please don’t Marcus…. you will only make it harder in the end.” I plead with him.

  “Don’t what.” He whispers. “Tell you how much I have fallen for you?”

  I sob, shaking my head. “No…No you haven’t. Don’t say that.”

  “Evvie, I fell for you that first night.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck

  His arms sit on my hips, pulling me closer. “Whatever happens, we face it together.”

  Another cry escapes, tears running down my cheeks like a river. I can’t see they’re pouring so fast. All I hear is his soothing voice and feel his strong hold on me. My body is getting lighter. Up in his strong arms, I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me to the bedroom.

  My eyes open and close slowly, I can’t control the sobbing.

  “It’s going to be ok Evvie…” He lays me down pulling his arm from round me. But I grab hold of him, pulling him next to me, burying myself into him.

  “Please don’t leave me…” I beg with a sharp breath.

  He gives me a small smile and shifts his body to the side, pulling me closer. “I’m not going anywhere, Love.”

  “Marcus something bad is coming.” My eyelids become heavy and my blinking long.

  He strokes my hair. “I know baby; we’ll just have to be ready for it.”

  “Please don’t let me go,” I confess, begging as tiredness takes hold.

  He kisses my forehead. “Never.”

  I feel so betrayed. Daniel was my only saviour, he set me free when I had no one else. It doesn’t stop me feeling sorry that he was pushed to the point that he had no choice. We were so careful that night he helped me. Now that he has gone I want to ask him so many questions.

  I close my eyes for the last time, unable to force them open again.

  “Leave her Drake. She’s had enough.” I hear Daniel barge in the room, the door swinging open so hard it hits the wall, his voice a saving grace. He grabs Drake’s arm from behind, holding him back. “Leave her alone.”

  Drake pushes Daniel with his free hand, spinning round he grabs the shirt collar pulling Daniel close to his face, snarling as his eyes dart from Daniel to me. “You got a soft spot for little Evvie all of a sudden brother?” He throws his head back while laughing.

  Daniel reaches up, pushing Drake’s hands off his shirt, pushing hard against his chest, sending him stumbling back. “No! I just think she has had enough!”

  Drake steps forward, grabbing Daniel, pushing him aside. “She has had enough when I say she has!” His hand reaches up to strike again, I try to protect myself with my arms, holding tight to my stomach. I can taste the iron running down my throat, my cheek burns.

  I await the pain, but it doesn’t happen. Daniel holds his arm before he has time to hit me. “No! Enough is enough, Drake!” He pushes Drake against the wall, hard, the sound of his back hitting echoes throughout the room. “Now leave her alone!”

  Drake glares at Daniel a moment before lunging forward, pushing him back. Daniel stumbles back to the dresser and Drake smirks, lifting his chin and puffs his chest out almost like a peacock, proud of his actions…warning those beneath him. I cower on the floor, my whole body tucked close to my chest, watching as Daniel steps in front of me -a protective look in his eyes.

  “You’re not worth it…. Either of you!” Drake grabs the bottle of whiskey off the dresser and storms out of the room. I hear his footsteps rushing down the stairs and the front door slamming shut.

  I stand up on wobbly legs, my arms black and blue, I can’t focus my eyes on what is going on, my ribs pounding against the pain. I hold on to the dresser trying to get to the door, breathing heavy against the pain.

  “Come on Eveline, let’s get you cleaned up.” Daniel’s arm is around my waist, supporting me as I limp to the bathroom. “He won’t be back tonight…. You’re going to be okay.”

  “Help me, Daniel…. please?” I beg him.

  He rinses the cloth under the cold water before wiping the blood from my lip. “I can’t.”

  “Please,” I cry out.

  He stops a moment, his lips shaky as my tear runs free, turning away from me he turns the shower on and lets out a long sigh. “Get yourself in the shower and clean up.”

  He turns his back to me and walks out the bathroom while I struggle out of my shorts and vest top, sharp pain in my shoulders as I pull the top over my head. Throwing them on the floor, I stand under the hot water, letting it wash the pain away. Dropping to the floor, I hold myself tight, sobbing uncontrollably, the water hitting my back.

  I lift my head up looking up at the water raining down I imagine myself free. Praying the day will come when I won’t feel this kind of pain again. I look down at my stomach, my hand rests against it.

  Stepping out, I wrap the warm towel around myself, my legs still numb from being kicked. A sharp pain in my stomach causes me to etch forward.

  Daniel walks in carrying some clean clothes for me, and a bag. “Put these on.” He passes them to me. “I’ve packed you some clothes and put some money in for you.”

  I button up the shirt he passed me, looking at him confused.

  “No one can ever know I helped you. Do you understand, Eveline?” He is the only person to ever call me that, not even mum or dad anymore. They haven’t since I was a little girl. “I’ll drive you to the station, but that’s it. I’ll tell Drake you must have left during the night, while I was asleep.”

  I take the bag from him, smiling a little as I nod. “Thank you, Daniel.”

  He holds each of my arms. “Listen to me, you need to get as far away from this place as you can, and no one can ever know that’s his baby…. Do you understand me?”

  I hold my breath, nodding my head.

  “Good. Come on, we haven’t got long.”

  He takes my hand and leads me out of the darkness.

  I wake to a muffled voice in the hall, the sound of bare footsteps on the hardwood floor echoing through. The space beside me empty and cold, my heart aching.

  I flop my head back down on the pillow, covering my face with my hands. The visit from Daniel yesterday replays in my mind, and I’m still reeling from the bombshell he dropped. A small piece of me feels sympathy for him. He knows more than anyone what a monster Drake can be, even more than me if I’m honest, but I never thought he would hurt his own brother. Not like that.

  I’m faced with the ‘fight or flight’ question.

  I tried running, and it didn’t work…he still found me, and worse, he thinks I’m hiding his child somewhere, a piece of him he will surly fight for. He was never a family man, even in our early days together he only ever spoke of family as a burden, an anchor holding you back. He was a selfish man. No time or heart for another. No, the only thing that mattered to him was the power he possessed, the power that was handed down to him by his father. He didn’t earn it – he inherited it, like a family heirloom.

  Of course, he had to prove he deserved it, kept things just as they were, same clientele, same rules….it was like he climbed into his father’s shoes, and they were big shoes to fill.

  Daniel was always ashamed of his brother’s lifestyle, he had a kind soul, caring but always turned a blind eye. I wonder if that’s what their mother was like – turning a blind eye to her husband’s business, as long as she had a pretty house and expensive clothes.

  I still remember walking in that huge house for the first time, how excited I was. I ventured around every room exploring the garden, naïve and stupidly planning how I would make the place my home, how I would start my new exciting life with the man I loved….how he was going to make me a star. All the time he laughed behind the big office door about the stupid girl that fell into his arms and swallowed the lies.

>   It turns my stomach to think just how blind I was. He showered me with gifts, held me through the night when I missed my family…

  “They don’t love you like I do Evvie, they don’t understand you,” he would whisper in my ear night after night. It rung through me so true for a long time.

  I let out a sigh and throw the covers back off, hating myself for even thinking about those moments. I listen at the door, checking if Marcus has finished talking to whoever he was moments ago. Quietly opening the door, I tiptoe into the living room; he is sitting in the chair facing the window again; I get a feeling it’s his favourite spot. I gingerly walk over to behind him, placing my hand on his shoulders, and massage them softly.

  “You should leave this chair here permanently.” I lean over him, kissing him on the cheek, smiling.

  “Good morning.” He takes my hand in his. “Did you sleep ok?”

  I walk round the chair to face him. “I did yes, although it would have been better if you were beside me this morning.” I frown at him.

  “I couldn’t sleep.” His smile a little faded, I can see the worry in his eyes.

  I turn my attention to the view out the window. “It really is a beautiful view; I can see why you love it.”

  “Yeah, it’s a good view for thinking.” He lets go of my hand and stands up from the chair, quiet and distant. “You want some coffee? You need to eat something.”

  I follow behind him, taking a seat at the breakfast bar. I pull the sleeves on my cardigan to cover my hands, playing with the wool material. “Marcus? Is everything okay?”

  He stops what he’s doing for a moment and turns to look at me, trying to give me his fakest smile, but I can see through it. “I’ve just got off the phone with my brother.”

  “Is everything okay with him?” I give him a worried look. He told me he very rarely speaks to his family since his sister’s death, and his brother lives in New York. “What time is it over there? It must be the middle of the night?”

  He folds his arms over his chest. “Yeah, 3 am over there. He works nights, so I knew he would be up. And everything is fine with him, I needed a favour from him, actually.”

  I look at him curiously.

  He walks over to where I sit, placing the hot cup in front of me along with a plate that holds a slice of toast. “He has a cottage in Hampshire. I rang him to see if we could borrow it for the weekend. Justin has arranged cover for you at the bar and I’ve booked the weekend off work – to be honest I never take any time off so my boss was more than happy for me to use a couple of my holidays up.

  I take a sip of the hot coffee. “Marcus I’m not running away anymore.”

  “I’m not saying run away, Evvie. I’m saying we need to at least get a bit of distance from here for a couple of days. Look…. last night… do you know how fucking hard it is to see you so broken. I just want to give you a bit of peace. A tiny fragment of normality.”

  Wow, where did that come from?

  “I’m sorry about last night Marcus.” I look down at my hands, they still shake a little, fearing my own feeling right now.

  He walks around to my side, taking my hands in his, kissing my palms. “None of this is your fault Evvie, don’t ever apologise.” He strokes my cheek, trying to reassure me.

  “It’s my fault you’re involved…” I confess, guilt coursing through me. If I hadn’t had been so weak when it came to him if I’d have turned him away when I had the chance…. he wouldn’t have to hide away with me, he wouldn’t be in the kind of danger I am.

  He takes hold of my face, his hands hot on my cheeks. “Don’t you ever blame yourself; I’m involved because I fucking chose to be, and I would choose it over and over again if it meant I got to be with you.”

  My heart explodes in my chest at his words.

  “I don’t ever want you to look back and regret a Goddamn thing about us. Do you hear me?” His forehead leans on mine, my lip quivers at his strength.

  I close my eyes, trying to keep the stray tears from falling, I’ve spent too much time with him crying. His warm lips touch mine and I open up to him, inviting his soft touch, welcoming it.

  He stops the kiss. “Open your eyes Evvie, look at me.” I open them, looking into his. “I meant what I said to you last night, Evvie.”

  I press my hand on his chest, wanting to tell him to stop…. To save himself before it’s too late for both of us. I want to walk away, turn off the feelings I have for him, but I can’t. I never thought it was possible to feel this way about someone, never imagined I could…. But right now, my heart is dancing around my chest, fluttering free. He looks at me in a way that sets my whole body on fire and I don’t ever want to say goodbye to him. Right now, I don’t ever want to leave his side.

  It might be too fast, and we are blinded my each other, but falling is easy when it’s into his arms.

  “I can’t picture a life in my future without you in it, Marcus.” My voice is a little shaky.

  He steps back, smiling. “You won’t have to, baby.” He holds out his hand for mine and spins me round and into his arms. Kissing my neck. I can’t help but laugh. “I love that smile.”

  It sends a shiver up my spine, the back of my neck tingles when his lips press against my ear.

  I lean into him, only for a moment before pulling away, smiling as I walk backwards. “Oh yeah?” I bite my lip, holding the chair I backed myself up against. “What else?” teasing him…forgetting all the worries we both had moments ago.

  He crosses his arms over his chest, shaking his head as I laugh. Every step he takes forward I move one more back, almost reaching the hall. I press my back against the wall, like a lion to its prey he slowly walks around the chair with ease, moving closer, excitement builds up inside me, the burning in my stomach getting hotter with every step he takes.

  Pressed against the wall, I watch as he closes the gap, the air between us thick and intense. His hand grabs my hip while the other runs through my hair, now my neck…. cupping my chin. “Those eyes…” he leans in whispering into my ear, his breath hot against my skin… his lips pinching at my earlobe agonisingly slow. “Especially when you look at me the way you are now.” His voice is raspy.

  “And how am I looking at you?” I turn my head as his lips trail down my throat. My heart races against my chest, struggling to pump the blood with excitement.

  He stops, his hand taking hold of my face, his lips so close to mine I can almost taste him. “Like I’m the only person that matters.”

  It sounds like a question.

  I can feel his pulse against my skin, racing fast.

  “Right now,” I press my hand on his cheek, my words honest. “You are.”

  His thumb grazes along my jawline, and his eyes burn into mine. I want to say a thousand things, but none of them matter right now – nothing does. My eyes say it all.

  Sometimes everything can be said in just one look.

  Ours actions can speak louder than words.

  Marcus has stayed by my side since the moment I met him. I still don’t know why out of everyone in the word he chose me, but I’m fucking glad he did.

  In my darkest days I dreamed of this kind of feeling, hung on to the thought that one day my life would change, and my knight would come and save me.

  I knew it the moment I took his hand and my fingers wrapped around him.

  Felt it the first time his lips touched mine. I would never get enough.

  He breaks our moment.

  Releasing his hold on me, he steps back, and I instantly hate the cold against my skin.

  “Evvie, I know you think its hiding, but I really think we should get out of here, as much as I want to lock you in the bedroom for the weekend we really need to get moving.” his tone almost begging. “We can’t walk into the next situation blind.”

  I know he’s right; I’ve been blindsided by Daniel's visit last night. It cut deep to the core; shattering me to pieces that once again Marcus had to pick up. I couldn’t control the
floods of emotions that drowned me, couldn’t hold the wall up any longer.

  The only saving grace before now was that Drake didn’t have any reason to hunt me except to want me back. I was ready for that fight. But now he’s stalking me in the dark for a reason that doesn’t exist anymore, and when he finds out I’m worried how far he will go. And this time I’m scarred shitless that I will lose more than myself…. I’m worried for the people I care about.

  I inhale deeply, taking a moment to look around his apartment before nodding quickly. “Okay, you’re right. I need to see Justin first.”

  “He’s expecting us over there in the next half hour.” Marcus gives me a guilty look and I know he has already spoken to him.

  “You already rung him?”

  He nods.

  “Marcus! He will be worried fucking sick…why?” I pace back and forth in the living room, pulling the scrunchie off my wrist and tie my hair up high into a messy bun. Shit! If Justin knows about Daniel, and everything else, he is going to fucking flip!

  Marcus rushes towards me. “Hey, listen, I didn’t tell him anything about last night… I just told him that I sorted us a place to stay for a few days.” He tucks the stray hair behind my ear. “Stop worrying!”

  A wave of relief washes over me. “Thank you.” I look away. “For not telling him.”

  “It’s not my place to tell him Evvie, it’s yours.” He drops his hand to his side and walks over to the window – looking out over the busy streets. The beautiful view at night now faded away. “Listen, I wish my sister had come to me for the help, and it cuts me deep inside every day not knowing exactly what happened to her. I wish I could have erased it all, but I can’t. I will never have closure…. because I don’t know how dark her life went.” I watch his shoulders rise and fall, sharply… painfully.

  “If she’d have told you, would it make it any better now? Would it take that pain away?” I walk over to him, forcing him to look at me, it almost breaks me to see the twinkle of tears in his eyes. “Do you think Justin would feel any better knowing what you do?”

  He looks up at me, so much sadness on his face, and shakes his head slowly from side to side. He knows I’m right. I never wanted anyone else to carry that kind of pain – especially not my brother. To tell him every little painful detail would break him.

 

‹ Prev