“Daniel.” My eyes dart to him. A mixture of emotions run through me as he walks towards us, his hands held up in the air submissively.
He stops in front of Drake’s lifeless body, looking down for a moment and then back to us. “I take it he is…?”
“Dead!” I blurt out, cutting him off. “Yes, he is!”
I watch as he lets out a sigh of relief. A small smile across his face.
“Give me the gun, Eveline.” He holds out his hand, but I don’t trust him. Not anymore. He broke my trust when he told Drake about everything, crushing my freedom and causing all this to happen tonight.
“Give you the gun? This is all your fault, Daniel.” I laugh at him. “And my name is Evvie! Not Eveline!” I shout at him, angry that he still insists on calling me by that name.
He looks down at his brother on the floor. “Let me put this right, Evvie.” Guilt written all over his face.
Marcus places his hand on mine, trying to lower the gun. “It’s ok baby, you can put it down now.” He whispers in my ear, “You’re safe.”
I want so badly to believe him. My lip quivers as I turn and look into his eyes. “I can’t Marcus.”
His hand gently rests on my cheek. “Yes, you can baby. Just put it down.” I’m drowning.
“This is all his fault, Marcus!” I sharply point the gun back to Daniel. “Everything that happened is your fault!” I aim my response to him.
Daniel stands examining me for a moment, I can see it written on his face, the way I’m dressed, the bruising on my body and face, my hair a raging mess. “Evvie let me put it right…please, give me the gun.”
“What, so you can shoot me and Marcus? So, you can take control?” I stand firm in my place.
He takes a breath, his eyes passing between Marcus and I. “No. So I can tell the police I shot my brother.”
I step back, shocked. “What did you just say?” Questioning him, needing to hear it once more.
“You’re right, Evvie, this is all my fault. Not just tonight, but everything I sat back and watched my brother put you through hell and I did nothing.” He pulls a chair out from under the table and takes a seat, clasping his hands together. “I was too weak to fight against my brother, too scared to take a stand, and you suffered for that. I knew it was all wrong and I let it happen, anyway.”
I feel a hit of guilt for him, can see the pain he carried. My hand begins to lower, and Marcus takes the gun from my hand, dropping it to the floor. I immediately melt into his hold, crying uncontrollably at what had happened, not just in the moment but the whole event. I look around the room slowly, the chair and rope discarded across the floor in the scuffle, the stage now empty and dark as the lights faded off.
I told Drake that I would be walking out of here tonight, and I was right. I just didn’t imagine I would be the one to take his life. I wanted to for so long, dreamt of the day he would take his last breath, prayed for the day I wouldn’t have to run and hide from him anymore.
“I’m going to ring the police now, Evvie.” Daniel takes another look at me and pulls his phone out of his pocket. “I’m going to tell them that I shot my brother.”
He stands up and walks over to where Marcus placed the gun on the floor, taking hold of it he walks over to the table and unclips the magazine, removing the bullets and places them all on the table.
Suddenly my body becomes heavy, the night taking its toll on me physically. Can I let another take the blame for my actions? I killed someone – robbed them of their life. Can I ever release myself of that guilt?
Marcus pulls me into his arms, holding me tight, and I let go. Pouring every feeling I have into the tears that flow. “Shhhh, it’s ok Evvie. Everything is going to be ok!” he tries to reassure me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop him baby.” I hear his own guilt in his tone.
I pull away, wiping the tears from my eyes, and press my hands against his cheek. “This isn’t your fault Marcus.”
“If I could have stopped him….”
I cut him off, my lips slowly teasing his, a rush of blood pumps through my veins. The kiss is longing…. loving. “Don’t blame yourself for any of this.”
He rests his forehead on mine. “I promised I would keep you safe.” He takes a deep breath. His eyes slowly close and open again. “I let you down and it almost cost you your life.”
“No! Drake would have got to me anyway, it didn’t matter. You gave me a reason to fight back!” I let out a slow breath. “You gave me something to live for.”
“When I walked in and saw what he had done to you…. I couldn’t control myself,” he admits with a shaky breath.
“Marcus you almost died because of me.” I look at his hand pressed against his shoulder once more.
“No!” he removes his bloodstained hand and takes hold of my chin. “Not because of you. For you.”
“Marcus.” His name dances on my lips.
He smiles at me. “I love you, Evvie.”
“And I love you Marcus.” Our lips touch, sealing the moment.
Our moment is cut short when I hear the faint sound of sirens becoming louder and louder with every second.
I shoot a look to Daniel who is sitting on the chair, one leg crossed over the other, a smile on his face. “Be happy Evvie.” He nods at me.
I look back to Marcus and my legs become weak with panic as the door is burst open and police charge in, armed, shortly followed with two paramedics.
The police instantly grab hold of Daniel's arms and stand him up, cuffing his hands behind his back.
I try to rush forward, but an officer pulls me back. “Please, it’s not his fault.” I beg, looking at Marcus for help.
It’s no use giving me one last wink Daniel is pulled outside and I’m forced down onto a chair, a bright light shines in my eyes as I try to keep up with all the questions that are thrown at me.
Words and sentences are tossed between the two paramedics and my mind runs blank and the adrenaline fades. My whole-body aches against me.
“Marcus.” I try to reach out for him as they patch up his shoulder, listening to him moan in pain through gritted teeth.
“It’s ok miss, we are going to get you both to the hospital. Can you walk?” the female paramedic asks me, concern all over her face.
I nod. It’s all I can muster as she helps me to my feet and guides me out the door, followed closely by Marcus.
I listen to the messages been relayed between the driver and the radio, trying to make sense of what’s being said, but I can’t focus enough. After everything, my body is too tired and my eyes start to become heavy.
Laying down in the back of the ambulance a sharp pain shoots up my arm, my head shoots up searching for the source of the pain.
“It’s ok, it will help with the pain,” the nurse reassures me as she takes hold of my wrist and presses two fingers against the vein. Checking her watch, she makes a note.
I let my head drop to the side, my eyes fighting to stay open. Suddenly my body becomes lighter, like I’m floating in air. My eyes close and I drift to nothing. Felling relief that the pain didn’t follow me.
Feeling content to dream of nothing.
Hoping when I wake it will all finally be over.
I drifted in and out all night, catching sleep before the doctors and nurses came in poking and prodding me. All I wanted was for Marcus to walk through the door. I watched it each time I opened my eyes, hoping and praying it would be him. As the sunlight peered through the thin curtains, I tried to roll to my side and catch just a little more sleep. I feel as though I could sleep forever. The doctor updated me on how Marcus was doing and promises to let him come and see me when he is able, but my heart aches for him now…to know he is safe…I just want to hold him.
Ignoring the jolly nurse that bursts into my room, pushing the curtains open and leaving a tray on the table for me, I let myself drift back to him, back to dreaming of our moments together.
I faintly feel his hand pressing again
st mine, hear his voice in the distance, soothing me. I fight to open my eyes just for a second before they close again. The pain that runs through my entire body makes me feel like I was hit by a bus. If I keep my eyes closed, I don’t have to deal with the reality waiting for me. I went from the helpless victim, to a murderer, and someone else is taking the blame for my actions – how will I ever live with myself. I don’t regret what I did, not one bit. Drake was a monster and he could….no would have hurt so many others. His crimes are far worse than mine, yet I can’t help but feel the guilt for taking a life, no matter how mad of a man he was.
“Evvie.” A soft voice echoes through me, pulling my sleeping mind out of its daydream, drawing me to the sweet sound of his voice. What started out as strangers and ended in a declaration of undying love. I spent so much of my time with him hiding myself and my feelings – too scared to admit the truth. Too scared to tell him how a single touch from him washes it all away, too scared to show him how my heart beats fast against my chest when he kisses me.
Hiding my true self from him.
The moment he took my hand and told me to breathe, I was his.
I fight to lift my heavy lids open, blinking for a moment and adjusting my eyes to the lights around me. One of my eyes stings each time I try to blink. The vision still blurred in it, causing a distortion on one side of the room. My lips are dry as hell as I try to lick them. I don’t care when the pain in my ribs shoots right up my side or the fact my wrist burns from having been tied…. none of it matters when my eyes focus on his.
To see that spark in his beautiful green eyes, gives me just enough strength to lift my hand and rest it on his cheek. His left arm is strapped up in a sling.
He leans in, smiling at me. “My beautiful Evvie.” His hand brushes the hairs off my face.
I try to sit up, but the pain in my side is almost unbearable. Instead, Marcus gingerly sits me up just enough to make me comfortable.
“The doctor told me they had to operate to remove the bullet?” My throat scratches as I try to reach over for the glass of water. He passes me the glass, holding it to my lips while I take slow sips.
He sits back down on the chair, pulling it closer to the bed with his good hand. “Yeah, luckily it missed anything major, just a flesh wound and another cool scar.” He jests, trying to lighten the mood.
“Justin?” I question where my brother is. I couldn’t face him when I first woke up once they cleaned me up and changed my clothes. My heart broke for him to see me…for him to feel helpless.
He lets out a sigh. “Canteen for some coffee. He has been here all day and night. He was worried sick about you – we both were.”
“They said I was lucky. Just a couple of broken ribs, cuts and bruises and a very shiny black egg above my eye.” I try to laugh off the pain.
Marcus takes hold of my hand, pulling it to his lips. “Evvie he could have killed you…he had every intention of it!”
Time seemed different while I was with Drake. Minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like seconds. Apparently, he had me locked up in the club for 17 hours before Marcus turned up. But it felt no more than two. In the whole time I was with him he had kicked and punched me, tied me to a chair, stripped my clothes – he took my dignity and left my body ringing with pain.
“What happened…. Why didn’t his two thugs come in and help when you turned up? I don’t get it.”
Marcus takes another long breath, pausing for a moment. “When I pulled up to the club, they were waiting outside for me, but Daniel appeared out of nowhere. He told me that once I was inside, it would just be me and Drake. He walked right up to them both and shook one of their hands. Once I was inside, I didn’t see what happened.”
His inside man, the night he came to see me he said he had someone on the inside relaying information to him. “Have you heard anything from the police? About him.”
Marcus shakes his head at me. “No, nothing but they want to speak to us both, they want a statement.”
“What do we tell them?” I replay Daniels' words over in my head about taking the blame for his brother’s death. We had no time to fabricate a story. How can I just let him take the blame when I was the one that took Drake’s life?
“We tell them what Daniel told us to.”
There is a faint tap at the door. Slowly it creeps open and I’m met with my brother's worried eyes. I give him a small smile, fighting hard to keep the tears at bay, my heart beating heavy.
Marcus stands to his feet, leaning over he kisses my forehead. “I’ll be back in a little while; I think you two need to talk,” he whispers in my ear.
I hitch a breath as Marcus walks up to Justin. Stopping, he places his hand on his shoulder. Both men share an understanding moment before he walks out the door.
I shuffle up the bed a little more as Justin steps over and places his coffee on the bedside table. He stands in silence a moment, running his hand through his hair.
I try to hold back the tears, but when it comes to my brother, I can’t. I lean my head to the side as all the emotion explodes inside and in the blink of an eye he leans down, his arms wrap around me softly, and his hand brushes down my hair.
“It’s ok Evvie.” He coo’s softly in my ear. “Shhhh.”
Somehow, he shuffles himself on the bed next to me, his legs stretched out beside mine, and I cry into his shoulder until I can’t cry anymore.
I’ve burdened my brother with so much over the past few years, but also hidden so much more from him – hidden my deepest pain. In all the fairy tales – when the monster is dead the town celebrates freedom, when the witch is vanquished everyone heals from her wicked curses. Can I heal? How do I celebrate?
Both my brother and Marcus sacrificed so much for me. Without hesitation Marcus risked his life for me, and Justin put his whole life on hold to care for me, to tend my broken wings, enabling me to fly again.
“I’m sorry, Justin.” I look to him for forgiveness, my cries now fading to almost a whimper.
“What have you got to be sorry for Evvie?” He looks down at me.
I wipe the tears off my cheeks. “Everything… All the worry and looking after me, you shouldn’t have had to do any of it.”
“Don’t be stupid! It’s my job.” Both his warm hands press on my cheeks. “That’s what big brothers are for.”
“Most little sisters haven’t been through what I have, Justin, and they haven’t caused their brother as much pain as I have to you.” I close my eyes for a moment, opening them to his sympathetic smile.
“And I would do it all again, you didn’t choose this path Evvie it was forced on you. I would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant you would be safe.”
My heart fills with his words.
“I’m just sorry I couldn’t protect you in the one place I thought you would be the safest. I should have been more cautious.” He carries a guilty tone in his voice.
“What do you mean, Justin?” I question.
He lets out a deep sigh. “Dec.”
I had completely forgotten about the little spy. Jensen…. So many people hurt in Drakes quest, so many lives turned upside down by his actions. “What happened? One-minute Jensen was on the phone with me and the next the front door had been burst open and Marcus was on the floor.”
“Jensen rang me worried, said Dec had been acting suspicious, asking questions about you, so he checked his phone. Long story short, he found messages to Drake. Unfortunately, Dec had got hold of Jensen’s phone and found the address of where you were staying and had already sent it to Drake. That’s when he rang me.”
He takes a sip of his coffee before continuing. “I tried to let Marcus know, but his phone was turned off. At the same time Jensen rang you, and when the phone went dead, he rang me telling me what he could make out was a scuffle and the phone going silent.” He pauses taking a breath. “I hauled ass over as quick as I could and found Marcus on the floor.”
“Have you spoken to Jensen? How is he? P
lease tell him not to blame himself.” I frown at him. Poor Jensen, my heart hurts for him.
“He’s fine. Feels a bit stupid, but trust me, he is fine. I’ve left him in charge.” He lets out a loud laugh.
“I was so scared, Justin,” I admit. “I watch as my life drifted piece by piece by his hand.”
Justin shakes his head at me. “You don’t have to tell me Evvie, I’m just thankful Marcus got to you in time.”
“But I do Justin, I thought I needed to protect you from the truth, but I shouldn’t. Marcus told me something that has made me realise I need you to know everything.” It wasn’t until moments ago when he kissed my forehead, I realised what he was trying to tell me. He couldn’t save his sister because she kept her demons hidden from him. I’m not a victim of my past, I’m a fucking survivor of it and if I’m ever going to move forward with my life, I need to own this shit not drown in it.
“So much of my pain you already know, Justin, but there is a darkness that I kept from you.” I take a deep breath, preparing to take my brother on a dark and painful path through history.
Reliving the moment in time that hurt the most.
After he holds me closer and tighter than ever before. Taking my pain and sharing the burden.
“I’m going to miss you, little dweeb!” Justin throws his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into a hug.
I wince at the pain that still lingers in my ribs. “Ow, watch it.” I laugh slapping him in the arm.
“Oh shit. Sorry!” He presses his hand over his mouth apologetically. “I’m serious though, I’m going to miss having you around you know. I know you wanted to move out, and honestly, I’m glad you’re not alone – Marcus is one of the good guys, and I know he’ll look after you.”
“Yeah, he really is and I’m going to miss you too.” I walk over to the full-length window looking out at the view ahead, taking a deep breath I relay everything that has happened in the past four weeks. Daniels story to the police was credible and part true and although they are still investigating, with the statements from myself and Marcus plus his inside guy – it looks like he might just be ok. I hope he is at peace with his own guilt. Only the three of us know what really happened that night, a secret we will carry with us till we draw our last breath.
Breathe Page 16