I raced to his room. There was no sign Kieran was missing unless I counted the empty hangers in his closet. Wally, the stuffed T-Rex he never slept without, lay forgotten on the bed. But the hangers…in my panic, I dropped to my knees and looked under his bed. My heart lurched painfully, and I clutched the front of my sleep shirt.
“Oh my God.” I ran through the house, calling for him, for both of them. When I stopped to listen for an answer, only an eerie creaking from the wind whipping against the house greeted me. No house with a five-year-old should have been this quiet.
As I glanced around, spinning in circles for no reason except it kept me from falling to my knees, a dark spot in the corner of the living room beckoned to me. I took a tentative step toward it, then stopped and looked over my shoulder, expecting Sean and his wayward fists to jump out at any second, to pounce on me for snooping. No one. I stepped closer to the corner. A camera?
Small and black, its lens appeared more like a blinking eye than a piece of glass shrouded in plastic. I moved to the side. It followed me, a little electronic hum whirring with the motion. “What the hell?”
I didn’t really care about the camera right then. I cared about my child and where Sean could have taken him. The monitor would have to wait. After tossing all the pillows, pulling every book from the shelves onto the floor, and still not finding my phone, I logged onto the computer.
Before I’d even located a way to contact anyone, the video call icon blinked, and Sean’s face popped up on the screen. I hit answer and didn’t bother with a pleasant greeting. He’d decided to punish me. “Where’s Kieran, Sean?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Tell me, Dani, why did we break up?” He clucked his tongue. “I didn’t break up with you.”
I closed my eyes wishing I’d been smart enough to press the delete button before I hid the phone, but I hadn’t wanted to let go….again… And now I was being punished in the way Sean knew would get me to comply. At least I knew the sin I’d committed. “Where is my son?”
“He’s playing with his toys right over there.” He flipped the camera around to show Kieran sitting on a carpet in what looked like a hotel room. “And if you ever want to see him again, you’re going to do a few things for me.”
Panic tinged every word as I answered. “Anything, Sean. Just bring him home to me.”
“We’ll see.” He chuckled and pointed at the screen. “It depends on how sorry you are and how well you can follow directions.”
I nodded. “What do you want me to do?”
He smiled. “Joey will be at the house in one hour. Go with him to the bank and wire me some money.” He rubbed his hand over his five o’clock shadow and the speaker caught the scraping sound. “I think ten thousand should do for today. Kieran and I need a little traveling cash. When you get to the bank, tell them Joey will give them the information for the receiving bank. You walk away. He’ll call me and tell me when it’s done.”
“You have your own money, Sean. Why do you need mine?”
He laughed. “What do you need it for?”
“I want to talk to Kieran.”
“Don’t call the cops or you’ll never see the kid again.”
He clicked off, leaving me to stare at the icons on the desktop. I hit redial and waited. He didn’t answer any of the next five calls.
Joey took me to the bank, then when Sean had what he wanted, Joey brought me home and sped away as though he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It was fine with me. I didn’t need one of Sean’s henchmen staring over my shoulder, but something about Joey told me he was different. I didn’t have time to investigate the thoughts too closely or care about their results. I had worrying to do.
Over the following three days, I lost all control. I didn’t eat or sleep. Instead, I zombied my way through the house, into Kieran’s room and back out to the computer to wait for a call. Sean would show me Kieran, but never let me hear his voice. He never let me talk to him. If I asked, he hung up. If I cried, it cost me more money. Joey and I made four trips to the bank in three days, sending Sean more than sixty thousand dollars from an account I couldn’t believe he’d found. In the middle of the fourth night, as I stared at the computer praying for a call, bargaining with God to just let him bring my son home safe, Sean called.
“You need to talk to your kid. He won’t quit crying.”
“Okay.” I tried to blink the tears of relief away, but as soon as Kieran came on the screen, they fell and a sob shook my shoulders. “Hi, buddy.”
“Mommy, I wanna come home.”
“I know you do, but you’re on an adventure with Daddy. You have to be a very good boy, okay?” He cried harder and my heart broke. “Just listen to Daddy, and he’ll bring you home soon, but Kieran, be good, okay?”
His body shook on Sean’s lap, and Sean jerked him by the shoulder. Kieran cried out, and I bit my lip and offered a silent prayer. Please don’t let him hurt my baby.
I blew out a breath and tried again. “Kieran, listen to Mommy.” He looked up and sniffled twice before swiping his arm across his eyes. “Who’s the bravest of all the dinosaurs?”
“The T-Rex.” His voice lacked its usual buoyancy.
“Right. That’s right. It’s the T-Rex. Mommy needs you to be the T-Rex. Can you show me your growl?”
“I can’t.”
“Yeah, you can, Kieran. You’re the biggest bravest boy Mommy knows, and you can do it. Show me.” I wanted my boy home, to hold, to cuddle, to never let out of my sight again. “Please, baby, show Mommy how brave you can be.”
He growled softly.
“Louder. Do it loud.” I smiled when he curled his hands into claws and growled at the screen. “That’s it. You’re mommy’s boy. Now, T-rex isn’t afraid of anything. He’s strong and tough, and so are you. Go to sleep now, and when you get scared or you miss me too much and you’re sad, remember you’re my T-rex. We’ll be back together soon.”
“I love you, Mommy.”
“I love you too. Now, lie down so I can talk to Daddy.” A second later, Sean’s face filled the screen. “Are you coming home soon?”
He scrubbed his face with his hands. “I don’t know, Dani. It depends on you. Tell me about your boyfriend, the one who doesn’t want any other girl.”
I bit back a sob. “He’s out of my life, Sean. He’s my past. You’re my future. You’re my husband. Please come home.”
“Your boy is a crybaby.”
Oh, God. “He’s scared, Sean. He’s never been without me. Come home, and we can work this out…like a family.” The words burned my throat, stung my eyes, but I would have said anything to get Kieran back safely.
“You make excuses for him. I make him strong.”
The blood in my veins boiled. “If you hurt him Sean…” I just blew it.
He laughed. “What will you do? Tell me. I really want to know.”
I took a deep breath. As soon as I hung up, I was going to get a hold of Joey and force him to tell me where Sean took Kieran. “I’ll kill you.”
“Ooh, big talk. I can stay gone forever. You dumb bitch.”
“Not without my money. If you aren’t home by tomorrow, I’m going to the police.”
“You’ll never see the kid again.”
Anger spurred me on. I’d had enough. “I think you underestimate me, Sean.”
“And I think you’re gonna pay for this when I get home.”
“Come and get me.”
The next day, Joey dropped them off in front of the house, and Kieran burst through the door, shouting my name. After a few hours of holding my breath and waiting for the big boom, I relaxed. Sean acted happy to be home with me. He played with Kieran on the floor, even helped me put him to bed. Later, he disappeared to his downstairs office, and when he returned, I’d already gone to sleep beside Kieran, grateful he’d come home.
Sean dragged me out of Kieran’s bed by my hair and hauled me across the hall
to our bedroom. After the first punch, everything went black.
Chapter 13
To leave I needed a plan and a bit of help. Reaching out to Joey, the only person who’d been nice to me since I arrived, I secured my golden ticket. Except it wasn’t the fabled gold color of Willy Wonka and chocolate factories…. It was a dingy green with well-thumbed pages. Still, Joey slipped it to me with stealth that would have made James Bond proud, and I guarded it as if it held the combination to the safe at Fort Knox, but not before Sean turned on Kieran. I called my parents, gave them the barest details, and asked to stay with them.
As I stepped into the taxi, careful to protect my boy’s wounds, I breathed deeply, hoping we could make it out of California before Sean managed to get home.
I’d taken a big chance by letting the police pick him up. It gave me the opportunity I needed, though, to steal his phone. Then, I grabbed clothes for me and Kieran and got the hell out of that house as quickly as I could. I couldn’t wait to get home. On the way to pick up my car, I asked the cabbie to pull over as we neared the beach. Climbing out as calmly as I could on legs still shaking with fear, I threw the phone in the ocean. Flattening Sean’s tires and destroying his credits cards had filled me with an immense satisfaction--one I hadn’t experienced in years.
Driving straight through, I pulled in some thirty hours later, and nothing had ever looked as good to me as their house. I sat in the car, taking in the two stories of grandiose architecture. A thousand memories of our family roamed around inside those walls, and I needed the comfort it provided. A few years after they built the house, Daddy built a stable with its own drive and acres of flat grazing land. The horses were Daddy’s pride, more so than the house, less so than my mother and us kids.
Daddy was big and strong, smarter than anyone else I’d ever met. He wore designer suits for his day job, investing money for wealthy clients around the globe, but wore cowboy boots every other moment of the day. Because of his penchant for riding horses into town, they’d installed a hitching post in front of the coffee shop, the bank, and the hardware store. My mother, in contrast, yet complement to my father, epitomized the idea of motherhood. She cooked, baked, and drove the car pool, never lost her temper, and always dispensed The Waltons’ style advice. Most of the time, even though she was a psychologist, she said she winged it when dealing with her own family, but I didn’t buy it. She was the glue holding our picture perfect family together.
As I climbed out and came around to get Kieran out of the car, my father stood on the front porch, waiting for me. He met me, then smiled as he took Kieran from my arms. “How is he?”
“He’s quiet.” I whispered the words as I pushed his hair back to show my dad the stitches on his face. My baby had a rough couple days. I only hoped he would find his way through the darkness to be the little boy he’d been before Sean destroyed his innocence.
Dad hefted Kieran higher onto his shoulder and threw his other arm across my shoulders. “I’ll get your stuff after we get this boy into bed.” He pulled me toward the house. “Your mom has coffee for you.”
Ah, coffee. The gift of the gods and my mother’s go-to problem solving medicine. I resisted the urge to crumble, to let my parents pick up the pieces. Instead, I sat with my mom, pouring out the story in a flat monotone, the same voice I used to protect myself from Sean’s wrath. I didn’t tell them the worst parts, only the parts I’d immunized myself against.
Each word hardened a new part of my heart. It beat less rapidly as I neared the end.
The sun peeked over the horizon before I crawled into bed with Kieran. Holding on to him, I sobbed softly for all he’d seen, all he’d been through. I prayed God would replace his memory, or at least let him block it out. He didn’t stir as I whispered promises of protection. If I ever saw Sean again, I would kill him for what he’d done.
Sleep eluded me. Too many worries whirled in my mind. Sean would undoubtedly find me. Because of the way small towns worked, almost the whole of Storybook Lake would close in around me, pulling me into a protective bubble, but he would never give up. He often told me I would never get away. It was part of the reason I stayed. The threat behind his words… I couldn’t imagine how I would ever be safe again. After the noon sun streamed in my window, I crawled out of bed. Coffee would have to be enough to get me through the day.
“Did you sleep well?”
I smiled at the familiarity behind her words. Every morning, probably since birth, she asked the same question. I nodded, thinking a wordless action less a lie, and smothered a yawn. “Where’s Kieran?”
“In the barn with your dad. He’s looking at the horses.” I walked to the French doors leading out to the back patio. As I turned the knob, she stood up quickly and covered my hand with hers. I’d been out to the barn a thousand times in my bathrobe. Never before had my mother stopped me. I pulled away, and she moved to stand in front of the door. “Go put clothes on, honey. Simon is out there.”
“What’s he doing here?” I didn’t want to see him, not looking like a crash test dummy, but with the same breath, I couldn’t wait.
“He’s helping out with the horses. It’s been a lot for your dad these days.”
“Oh.” I started up the stairs, but turned to face her. “Okay. I get it. Dad needs help, but why Simon, Mom? Of all people. Aren’t there any kids in town itching to make some ice cream money or Friday night date cash who can shovel a stall?”
“Your dad always liked Simon, and since his…accident, people look at him differently, but not your dad. Simon respects him, and he knew your daddy needed some help, so he offered.”
I smiled in spite of myself. Not that I needed more, but this highlighted one of the reasons I loved Simon. He was that guy. And I wanted--no, needed--to see him.
After pulling on a pair of jeans still hanging in my closet from years ago and my favorite old boots, I checked the mirror, then headed outside. Kieran and Dad were behind the gate atop a horse with long legs and a twitchy head. I jogged the rest of the way.
“Dad, he’s never been on a horse before.” The warning escaped my lips before I could consider my dad’s feelings.
He tightened his hold on Kieran as though I planned to pull him down. “Don’t worry, Dani. I’ve been doing this since you were a very little girl. I’m gonna take this big boy for a ride, and we’re going to get to know each other. Were you planning to deny me that?”
I chuckled. “Guilt. Well played.”
He grinned down at me, secured Kieran once more, then gave me a wink. Dorothy was right. There really was no place like home.
“You wait here with Simon. We’ll be just fine.”
I nodded and stood at the gate while Simon closed it behind my father as he took my son out to the paths he’d carved in the woods.
Leaning against the fence, I pretended to watch the tree line, but never lost sight of Simon in my peripheral vision.
“Does it hurt?” He reached out to run his finger next to my black eye. When I flinched away, he dropped his hand to his side.
“It could have been worse.” In all honesty, I didn’t even remember the pain of that particular punch.
“Did he do this to you?” His whisper didn’t hide the hatred behind the words.
I sighed, not expecting him to understand, but… “I did it to myself, kind of. You know?”
“That’s really how you look at it?” His voice went hard, judgmental.
I lifted my chin to meet his gaze. “And I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Not with him. Not ever.
He nodded. “Your boy has your chin and your lips.”
I grabbed on to the fence rail for support. A moment of panic seized my heart, and I imagined it stopping cold.
Then he grinned, and the potency of it shifted my panic to desire. “He must get all those good looks from you.”
If only he knew. I should have told him right then. “Oh, definitely.” My white-knuckled grip relaxed. H
e’d always been so easy to be around and nice to look at. Even nicer now. He’d let his hair grow long--Brad-Pitt-Legends-of-the-Fall long--and he had it pulled back at the top. His eyes were a deep amber color that God only blessed to sunsets, whiskey, and Simon. Jocelyn, the hellish born twin, was the younger version of their mother--beautiful and perfect, honey brown hair with sparkling blue eyes--but Simon must have been one hundred percent his father. Seeing his smile in person rather than in my memory let me forget the horror of my life, for a moment. He stood close enough to touch, and I curled my fingers into my fist to keep from reaching out.
“How long are you staying this time?”
My heart began a mambo in my chest at the almost hopeful tone of his voice. Maybe I could wait a few days, spend some time preparing him for the big news. I had too much turmoil in my own life at the moment to consider adding more. Telling him before either of us could handle the idea would be catastrophic. That’s what I told myself, anyway.
“Forever, I think.” I gazed off into the pasture at the horses grazing there. It probably sounded odd coming from my lips, but I’d come to appreciate small town life--the-everyone-knows-everyone-and-would-band-together-to-protect-one-of-its-own aspect. “I want Kieran to grow up here, like I did.” I shrugged. “My company headquarters is here and my family.” And you. Why can’t I just say the words? I practiced them in my mind, but couldn’t convince my mouth to over-rule my apprehension.
He smiled. “A lot’s changed since you’ve been gone.”
Boy, did I have news for him, but I decided to play along. For a minute, I wanted the normal other people had. “Yeah?”
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