“I’m burning, you mean.” Garrett pulled the knot in the rope holding up his shorts and pushed them to the floor. His cock bounced stiffly for a second before Garrett leaned his body against Chase’s. “I want you.”
Chase walked him backward the few steps to the bed closest to the bathroom and took the time to toss the blanket away so they could lie on the cool sheets. He put Garrett on his back and slowly kissed and licked his way down that beautiful, lithe body. By the time he’d reached Garrett’s cock, Garrett was moaning out loud and arching his back. Chase kissed a trail from the head to his tight balls and then licked back up like Garrett was an ice cream cone. And then he did it again and again until Garrett squirmed on the bed. Chase moved his legs up and away, exposing the tender skin behind his balls. After gently sucking them into his mouth, first one and then the other, Chase kissed and sucked his inner thighs, his perineum, making him cry out.
“Please! Oh God yes, that’s good.” Garrett moaned and panted, and every sound felt luscious in Chase’s ears, in his heart. If Garrett also sounded loud to him, he wrote it off to missing the sound of the surf.
He got comfortable and settled in for a nice long stretch between Garrett’s legs, licking around his hole, slowly and progressively narrowing his focus. He kneaded Garrett’s gorgeous ass and speared his tongue into his dusky pink pucker, and Garrett’s hoarse cry had his dick twitching. Even after the knock at the door it didn’t run away and hide.
Garrett fisted a hand in Chase’s hair. “Ignore it.”
A reply came from the other side of the door. “I heard that.” Another moment’s pause, and Nathan knocked again, a little harder.
Chase lifted his head, and Garrett released his hair with a groan. After a quick kiss to Garrett’s thigh, Chase pushed off the bed.
“At least put something on.”
Chase went to the door. “That would take longer.” He was careful to keep the door between Nathan and his dick, though. For Garrett. As comfortable as he was with PDAs, Garrett didn’t have an exhibitionist bone in his body. “Hi, Nathan.”
“I’m glad you guys are having a good time, but we’re trying to film downstairs, and sound carries through the back staircase. Maybe keep it down a little, darlings?”
Garrett laughed before Chase could form any reply. “Sorry.”
Nathan didn’t try to enter, but he looked past Chase. “That sounds more like sorry-not sorry.”
Chase relaxed when he sounded less upset. “We’ll be quieter.”
A rustling on the bed made them both look toward Garrett, who had rolled off his back and propped himself on both elbows. “We won’t interrupt again. I can’t wait for another St. Cloud film.”
Chase didn’t realize he had opened the door wider until Garrett laughed. He’d been distracted by the fair skin of his chest beneath the delicate whorls of auburn.
“Hey. No free shows in here, Nathan. Don’t you have a film crew to babysit?”
“You’re lucky you’re so adorable, you brat.” Nathan laughed.
“Well, can’t argue with that.” Chase slowly started closing the door, and Nathan let his gaze sweep down the length of Chase’s body. Chase hadn’t meant to, but when he’d been ogling Garrett, he’d let the door swing open so far he wasn’t hiding behind it anymore. Nathan didn’t stare, he only took a quick look, but one in which he didn’t try to hide his appreciation.
“See you at dinner?”
Garrett laughed again, but softer and obviously lacking genuine amusement. “You’ll be seeing less of us at dinner.”
Nathan’s laughter rang in the hallway as Chase pushed the door closed. “Bye, darlings.”
He turned to go back to the bed, and Chase felt his breath hitch in his chest. It still took him by surprise sometimes that this gorgeous younger man was with him. “You are adorable, with your pink shoulders and windblown sex-hair.”
Garrett popped up and practically ran into the bathroom, leaving Chase standing beside the bed, gaping. When Garrett returned, his erection was almost completely gone. After a moment’s hesitation, they crawled back onto the bed. Garrett stretched out on his back and stared at the ceiling.
“What is it?” Chase asked, settling on his side facing Garrett.
“Nothing.” Garrett let his head fall to the side and smiled at Chase. Barely.
“No. Please. We need to talk about it. I don’t know what I said, but it was obviously something.”
Garrett went back to staring at the ceiling, but he seemed to be struggling to speak.
“Take your time.” Chase reached out and drew his fingertips down Garrett’s arm. When it seemed to relax him, Chase scooted a little closer and kissed his shoulder.
“What if something happens and I’m not adorable anymore?”
“Impossible.”
Garrett cringed. “I mean it. When we started, I was… I mean, I’ve already changed a lot since we met. What if I get too old and you aren’t turned on anymore?”
Chase bit back a defensive response, because he knew Garrett hadn’t meant to suggest he was a pedo or something. He forced himself to take a breath despite the way, in those short few seconds, Garrett had visibly tensed again.
“This has really been bothering you. I’m sorry. I love a lot more about you than your looks. I love the sweet, talented, kind, funny, smart guy underneath too. You being adorable has as much to do with who you are as how you look. No, more.”
Garrett didn’t move and didn’t seem to be having any easier time breathing. Chase kissed his shoulder again and then rested his head on the bed, his lips not quite touching Garrett’s heated pink skin.
“This is the kind of thing we have to talk about. I don’t want you thinking you can’t get older or change in some other way because of me. I don’t want to be the reason you’re not happy, Gare. I don’t want you to worry that I’ll stop wanting you.”
He nodded but didn’t look away from the ceiling. Chase tried to relax, but he was worried—worried he couldn’t convince Garrett, even after almost ten years, that he loved him. If he couldn’t, what did that say about him? What did that say about Garrett’s feelings for him? Is Garrett so worried I’ll fall out of love with him because he’s already started falling out of love with me?
Needing to connect, to touch Garrett, but not wanting to crowd him, Chase brushed the backs of his fingers down Garrett’s arm. He watched his own hand—tan against Garrett’s pale arm—to keep from staring into his face, searching it for the answers he needed to hear. “I don’t want things like this to come between us. I don’t want us to end up fighting about this anymore.”
“We’re not fighting.”
“No. But you’re unhappy.”
Garrett rolled toward Chase and spent a few moments searching his face. “No. I wouldn’t say that.”
“Okay.”
Garrett combed his fingers through Chase’s long hair, pushing it away from his face. He didn’t seem to have seen what he was looking for.
“What are you thinking about?” Chase had never thought he would be the one asking that question, but he needed to stop letting Garrett down. If that meant he got questions back, he’d just have to man up and answer some.
“Are you attracted to Nathan?”
“What?” Why’d he have to ask that question? “No. He’s married.”
“But, if he wasn’t.”
“I’ve never cheated on you. I wouldn’t.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Garrett ran his palm down Chase’s arm, but when Chase tried to catch his hand, Garrett pulled it away.
“No. I wouldn’t say I am. He’s hot, sure, but I don’t see him that way.”
Garrett’s head jerked, and he met Chase’s eyes so fast Chase flinched.
“Anymore.” Garrett studied his face for a long moment, and Chase tried without success to keep from squirming under that intense scrutiny. “You hooked up with Nathan.”
“That was a long time ago.” Shit. Why does this conversatio
n make me sick to my stomach?
“Kyle?”
“Are we really going to do this?”
Garrett’s brows slowly drew together as he continued to ask: “Derek? Paulie?” He paused. “Eric?”
“No.”
“Did they all fuck you?”
I wish I could lie. “It’s what I like. You know that.”
“Wow.”
“Wow?” Easy. No yelling. Wait and see what the point of this is before you say anything stupid.
Or maybe just don’t say anything stupid.
“Nothing.”
“All that happened before I met you. It was just hooking up, nothing more.”
“I’m not judging you.” Garrett scooted closer and gently pushed Chase onto his back so he could rest his head on Chase’s shoulder. “When we first met, I was just a kid. I had no idea how things worked, or we might have had that conversation a long time ago.”
Chase wrapped his arms around Garrett, careful of his sunburned shoulders, and tried to untangle everything he was feeling. After what felt like a very long time, he had made up his mind to tell Garrett about his own fears of getting too old, that Garrett would stop finding him desirable. Before he could form the words, though, Garrett cuddled closer and kissed his chest.
“Tell me something nobody else knows,” he whispered, his lips against Chase’s skin.
“Like what?”
“Something about you. Something you never told any of the other guys.”
He didn’t even think about it first, just answered. “Before I changed it, my first name was John. That was my eighteenth birthday present to myself.”
“Why did you change it?”
“I didn’t want to be a junior to… him. And John Holland didn’t sound like an artist. Dumb, I know, but I was only eighteen.”
“Not dumb. Chase Holland does sound like an artist’s name. It is an artist’s name.”
“Is that what you meant?”
“Yeah. Thanks.” Garrett rubbed his cheek against Chase’s chest, and in that moment, forever seemed possible. More than possible, it felt like it was in his arms.
“I won’t tell anyone else.”
“No. I mean, you don’t have to keep it secret unless you want to.”
“What I want is for only you to know that.” Chase opened his mouth and almost followed the most profound statement of his life with a lie. It was on the tip of his tongue to say that he didn’t have anything left to keep secret, anything that he would only share with Garrett.
He did have more secrets. The person who knew the worst of them was the same person who knew that his first name had been John for eighteen years. He should, he gave me that name.
The fact that he’d been that close to lying about something so important hurt in ways he wasn’t prepared for. Hurt him too badly to get anything else out.
Chapter Twelve
GARRETT RUBBED his bare foot against the bottom of Chase’s and thought, forever starts right now.
He’d had that thought before, and it hadn’t worked out that way, it hadn’t stuck. He’d gone on to hurt Chase and put his own happiness—his own future—in jeopardy. But no more.
Garrett pushed himself up onto one elbow and looked down at Chase, deep into his soulful brown eyes. After a few soft, featherlight kisses, he pulled back just far enough and waited for Chase to open his eyes.
“I love you, Chase.”
Chase’s answering smile seemed tinged with sadness. He thinks that’s not enough. I have to show him it is.
Garrett lifted himself to straddle Chase’s hips. After nuzzling his neck and a few more sweet kisses, he sat up and steadily increased the pressure he was applying with his own hips.
“I really want to fuck you.”
Chase sighed and ran both hands up Garrett’s legs until he reached his waist. After a quick squeeze he sat up, wrapping both arms around Garrett as he did, pulling a soft moan from them both. He said, “I love you, Garrett,” with his lips on Garrett’s neck, and again and again as he moved them across his shoulder and back to the place behind his ear that never failed to make him melt.
Garrett turned his head and pressed his lips to Chase’s temple. He rocked in Chase’s lap as he whispered “I love you” across Chase’s skin.
“Please. Fuck me. Please….” Chase still whispered, his breathless voice stirring Garrett’s cock until he almost cried out it was so hard.
Just like the first time, only hours after they’d introduced themselves in the gallery, Garrett spread his hands across Chase’s chest and pushed him down onto the bed. Chase fell, boneless and panting, and his soft sigh sounded like a plea.
Unlike the first time, however, Garrett hadn’t just dropped a single shot of lube at his own feet. Before he could grab any himself, Chase reached into the bedside table and pulled one out, his eyes never leaving Garrett’s. Chase’s arm dropped to the bed, his hand open around the little packet, waiting.
A shiver raced up Garrett’s spine as he dove to capture what was his, to plant a blistering kiss on Chase’s sexy lips. While they kissed, Garrett took the packet of lube from Chase’s hand. He shivered again when Chase groaned into his mouth.
Garrett sat back on his heels and hooked a hand behind Chase’s knee. He lifted and then pushed, and Chase grabbed his leg, flexing his hips to give Garrett a good look at his ass. “Fuck yes,” he whispered as he ripped the lube open and made quick work of emptying it onto his cock. As soon as he wrapped a slick hand around it, his cock remembered how close he’d been to coming before Nathan knocked on the door. He smiled, thinking that had turned out much better than he’d thought at the time.
“What?” Chase’s voice, breathless with the effort to stay quiet, made Garrett want to howl with pleasure. He stayed in control, though, took his hand from his own cock, and used it to prepare Chase.
Chase pulled both knees back and dropped them to the sides, his eyelids falling to half-staff as his body strained for contact. Garrett bent and kissed his chest, licked a nipple, and sucked it between his lips when Chase shivered and sighed at his touch.
Garrett checked that his aim was sure, and then he leaned forward for another kiss. He kissed across Chase’s jaw, running his teeth through the hair on his face. Garrett nipped at Chase’s ear as he moved close enough to whisper, “I’m smiling because I love fucking you.”
Slowly and with deliberate tenderness, Garrett entered Chase, groaning softly with the effort to keep from going too fast and hurting him. When he was buried deep, Chase threw his head back, his mouth working like he wanted to cry out, to shout how good it felt. Garrett felt the same, so he closed his mouth over Chase’s shoulder, sucking so he wouldn’t make noise and disturb anyone who might come up and cut this short.
When Chase gripped his hip and encouraged him to speed up, Garrett moved Chase’s hand to his own cock. Chase gulped air as he stroked himself, his body shaking, and Garrett knew he was getting close. Garrett felt Chase’s orgasm building as surely as he could his own, in every muscle beneath him, heard it in every moan and sigh.
Finally he couldn’t wait any longer. Garrett lifted himself off Chase and pistoned his hips, driving his cock deep over and over, striking the spot that gave Chase the most pleasure. He relished the heat, the sensations, the way Chase’s body tightened around him as he came, shooting milky ribbons onto his stomach and chest as he groaned Garrett’s name.
Or he may have shouted it.
The raw edges of Chase’s voice as he came made it impossible for Garrett to hold back. He let out a single strangled cry as his orgasm washed over him, stealing his last bit of self-control as he got lost in Chase.
Garrett was still panting when he woke, his heart still racing, so he didn’t think he’d been out long. Chase sprawled beneath him, sighing softly as he exhaled. When Garrett moved, Chase moaned and squeezed tight around his softening cock. The room was warm, but Garrett didn’t mind being sweaty and sated and stuck to Chase. He snuggled into a com
fortable position and drifted to sleep.
He wasn’t able to sleep long, though, and the next time he woke, the stickiness felt less pleasant. Garrett slipped out of bed and took a quick shower—by then nothing short of standing under the warm water and scrubbing with a washcloth would have done any good at all. Feeling a little restless but unwilling to wake Chase to keep him company, Garrett wandered to the window and looked out at the backyard. Jess sat on the steps of the gazebo talking with Alex. That looks like trouble if I’ve ever seen it.
When Sean walked through the yard, Garrett felt the pull to go down and ask to see that script. He turned and watched Chase for a few moments, the steady rise and fall of his chest—jeez we were out in the sun for a couple of hours, which he spent hiding under the umbrella with me, and he’s already bronzed. Fucking hot.
The weekend was supposed to be a break for Chase too. Garrett didn’t have the heart to wake him and say he would be right back, so he put on a clean pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and headed downstairs.
Nathan and Derek sat on one of the couches in front of the fireplace, and as Garrett approached, Paulie came out from the dining room and joined them. Nathan saw him first and gave a golf clap.
“Bravo, darling.”
Garrett stopped and wondered if they’d heard Chase coming all the way downstairs, but quickly realized it didn’t matter. He shrugged and grinned. “Whatever you’re talking about, I’m sure I deserve it.”
Paulie hadn’t sat down. He came straight to Garrett and kissed his cheek. “I’m sure you do too. Did you come down for provisions?”
Garrett laughed and threw his arms around Paulie. After a quick kiss on his cheek, he released him and stepped back. “Actually, I came down to see if I could grab a copy of the script. But I won’t say no to provisions.”
“Give me five seconds and I’ll be back.”
“Paulie, you don’t have to.”
Nathan stood, and he and Paulie shared a fond look before Paulie disappeared toward the kitchen. “Don’t be silly, sweetheart. You worked hard today. And helping our masseur move couldn’t have been easy either. Are you sure you want to read what happens?”
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