But he still couldn’t quite believe Jess was seeing a guy. She hadn’t been with a guy since….
Since… well, since me.
And that ended so well.
Chapter Nineteen
CHASE LIKED Jess, a lot, but was still nervous about having her move in. Since she had to give notice and get her apartment ready and probably do some things he had no idea about, he had some time to get used to the idea. A week or two at least.
Not much hope of that happening, but it was possible he would get used to sharing Garrett with her every day, get used to the way they communicated without speaking, and shared private jokes about so many things. It wasn’t fair of him to be jealous of their friendship—shouldn’t I be jealous that they fucked?—but it was true. He didn’t care nearly as much that his man had screwed Jess as he did that they were so close emotionally. Besties. BFFs.
I’m hopeless.
He’d been working all day on a new painting—one he’d never done before, an original—and had barely looked up when Garrett said he was going to get dinner. It wasn’t until the front door opened and closed that it had sunk in he was leaving. That fast, instead of focused and happily painting, Chase turned into a mess of self-loathing introspection. Not only was he welcoming someone into their home who had more history with Garrett, but he couldn’t even give Garrett the attention he deserved when they were alone. His chest tightened, and he sighed as he started cleaning his brush. Being worried never helped him paint, and he didn’t think that would change.
I’m too old to start a new habit, even a constructive one like that. He snorted and instead of laughing had to fight a burning feeling behind his eyes.
He cleaned up his work area and himself—even took a quick shower and put on a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Garrett had been gone a long time, so instead of dwelling on that, Chase did a little cleaning up in the living room. He’d barely gotten started when someone knocked. He’d never gotten bad news from a knock at the door, but the sound still scared him.
Chase opened the door to find it filled with Tex Worth. He blinked. “Tex?”
“It hasn’t been that long, Chase.”
“Um, no, I guess not. Come in?”
“Thanks.”
They walked down the short hallway to the living room, and he offered her a seat.
“What’s—oh God, is everyone okay?”
Tex chuckled softly. “Yes, everyone’s fine. You boys are all the same. You see a lawyer and immediately think the worst.”
“Okay… that’s good. Oh shit. Is this one of those… I don’t know, when the police show up to make sure someone’s not dead?”
“A welfare check? No. Although I could see why you would think that. Everything okay here?” She frowned and Chase thought she might’ve been working to hold his gaze and not inspect the room.
Chase felt self-conscious and wondered what she’d seen on his face to make her ask, but only smiled and nodded.
“Good. Because I’m here to talk about your contract with the St. Clouds. Is Garrett home?”
“Um, no. He’s out getting dinner. I could text and have him bring back something for you too?”
“That sounds really nice. Thanks, sweets.”
It didn’t take anywhere near long enough to text Garrett and get his reply that he’d bring some Greek back for Tex. Chase was about to offer Tex an espresso but didn’t get the chance.
“You okay, hon?”
“I’m fine.”
Tex’s expression was soft, but obviously she was about to call his bullshit. “Eric’s like my son, so I can spot a man who’s having a bad day a mile off. You get things squared away?”
“Yes.”
“Glad to hear it. If you ever need anything, you’d better call me.”
“Thanks.”
“And if I hear you don’t, I’ll be on you so fast you’ll think you’re back in the principal’s office in grade school.”
Chase didn’t have too hard a time laughing that off. Outwardly, anyway. Inside, his shaking had only gotten worse. Garrett returned, thankfully, and they ate while discussing the contract for the poster rights. The contract was straightforward, a fair contract that Tex explained in language they understood with a minimum of follow-up questions.
She smiled as she sat back in her chair, and Chase felt like he’d passed a test or been praised for a difficult job well done. “Thanks, guys, that was delicious.”
Garrett balled a napkin in his fist, but his smile seemed easy and real. “Thank you, Tex. It’s nice to have someone at our legal backs.”
“You’re welcome. Now there’s one more thing.”
Tex opened her briefcase and pulled out a folder. For no reason he could pinpoint, Chase’s gut clenched, and he felt like running. Here’s the other shoe, about to drop on my head. She held the folder out, but Chase couldn’t force his hand to move and accept it. Garrett leaned across him and took it, set it down on his thighs, and opened it.
Chase didn’t read much before he stood. “What is this?”
“Read it. It’s for you two to sign.”
“Is this—? Is Paulie…?”
Garrett patted Chase’s thigh and told him to sit, but he couldn’t tear his attention from Tex.
“Sit. And read.” She used her best lawyer voice, but that only served to make Chase more afraid.
“I… give me a second. I need to make a call.” Chase strode into the bedroom, punching up Paulie’s number as he went.
When the line opened, the sound of conversations in the background was the first thing Chase heard. It transported him to the dining room at Buchanan House, hitting him so hard with a wave of what felt like homesickness that he had to grab the bedroom doorframe to stay standing. Paulie better be okay.
“Chase? Hello?”
“Paulie. What are you doing?”
“I was serving dinner.” The noise of silverware clinking on plates faded and then was cut off. “What are you doing?”
“Are you okay? You’d better not be sick or—”
Paulie cut him off with a hearty chuckle interspersed with words of apology. “Is Tex there?”
“Yes. What’s going on? What are you doing?”
“I see. You mean ‘what am I doing?’ in the greater scheme of things and not only a moment ago.”
“This isn’t funny.”
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to frighten you. But I’ve always wanted to be a patron of the arts. It sounds so romantic and… philanthropic! After our little chat last time you were here, you really should have seen this coming.”
“But I don’t want you to—”
“Stop. Please? I’m guessing you didn’t read it.”
“I read enough.”
“I doubt that. You’re an amazing artist and a sweetheart, but patience is not one of your many virtues. Once you and Garrett sign that document, you’ll both have the right to stay in the condo as long as you live, free and clear. The trust will handle all the taxes and anything else that comes up. Once the far-off date arrives when neither of you need it any longer, it will be sold and the proceeds benefit the Elliott Foundation. Is Garrett there?”
“I’m here.” Garrett spoke from directly behind Chase in the hallway. Chase jumped and squeaked in surprise, and when he turned he saw Tex behind Garrett, wearing an impatient but affectionate frown. “Love you, Paulie.”
“Put me on speaker?”
Chase held the phone in the palm of his hand. “You’re on speaker now.” He smiled when Garrett held his hand beneath Chase’s, to steady it so he wouldn’t drop the phone.
“Love you too, sweetie.”
“Are you sure about this?” Garrett asked. “We’re fine paying the taxes.”
Another sound of surprise squeezed from Chase.
Paulie laughed. “Yes, I’m sure. Everything is all taken care of. All you have to do is sign and then use your resources to grow your careers. And to eat, when you’re in Portland.”
/> Garrett lightly kissed Chase’s cheek and subtly moved closer, giving him a literal shoulder to lean against if the wall didn’t turn out to be enough.
“But what about you, Paulie? You shouldn’t have to….”
“To what, go without? Sacrifice? I have everything I need. The condo and the tiny house are paid for, and I don’t need much. Not that money can buy.”
“I don’t know what to say. What about the camp?”
Paulie huffed softly. “What about the camp? If Nathan and Eric needed help, I would still be in a position to offer it, but they don’t. They’ve both turned out to be savvy businessmen, in addition to everything else. Now we all get to watch as you two climb onto the capitalist bandwagon.”
“I don’t know about that part,” Garrett said with a big smile in his voice. “I never agreed to become a capitalist, Paulie.”
“Okay, have it your way.” Paulie laughed—he sounded honestly delighted, maybe even a little giddy. “When you get your first windfall, give some to the Elliott Foundation. Oh, no, I know! Last Christmas we had a group from the Foundation out here for a long weekend and presents. You can buy presents for some kids. If you want to.”
Chase had no reason to doubt Paulie but still couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.
Garrett leaned over Chase’s shoulder and kissed his neck before answering. “Sounds like a plan. Isn’t Christmas your anniversary?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Leave it to you, Paulie, to give other people presents on your anniversary. What’s planned for your birthday?”
“That’s private.”
Everyone laughed, but it was subdued.
It wasn’t easy, but Chase managed to find his voice. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I can. Because we can.”
Nathan’s voice, thick with emotion he was probably trying to hide, came through. “Because we love you guys.”
“Is everyone there?”
Eric answered. “Not everyone. Tim will be sorry he missed this.”
Some shuffling sounds came through, and the next voice was Derek’s. “You could come and live in room eight, but we’d just have to send you somewhere the next time the St. Clouds come to film. You might as well stay there and come and go when you choose.”
A smattering of soft laughter and words Chase couldn’t make out drifted up from his palm.
Garrett leaned closer and nuzzled Chase’s neck. “What do you say?”
The background noise disappeared, and Kyle, obviously not on speakerphone anymore, said, “You’re already taking care of the place. Let Paulie do this for you, give you this security. You already know this, but I promise you it’ll make him happy.”
“Yeah.” Chase pushed the phone into Garrett’s hand and turned his head to bury his face in Garrett’s hair.
“We’re going to sign it. Speakerphone?”
“Go.”
“Thank you, Paulie. Nathan. All of you. We love you too.”
Chase didn’t look up while Garrett presumably ended the call and stowed his phone. He didn’t look up until Garrett physically separated them. He didn’t go far, just far enough to get his attention.
“What are you thinking?”
Chase shook his head, only enough so Garrett would know he was having trouble speaking, not a refusal to do so.
Tex reached around Garrett and patted Chase’s shoulder. “I’ll be in the living room getting everything in order. Take your time, hon.”
“Come here.” Garrett took Chase into the bedroom and sat him on the bed. After a moment, he settled close by Chase’s side and took one hand in both of his. “Now talk.”
Chase leaned against him but not too far. “Are you really okay with this?”
“Yeah. I’m surprised too, but… I like it here.” Garrett rubbed Chase’s hand. “If you’re really not okay with this we don’t have to—”
“No. I don’t… it’s hard. To let him—them—do this.”
“Okay. Why?”
When he looked away from their hands and into Garrett’s lovely hazel eyes, all he saw was patience. Love and patience. Still, it was a struggle to remember why he had to talk. Why he wanted to talk, even if it felt dangerous. But he had given his word to be honest and open and wouldn’t break that promise lightly. Not breaking it at all might be a good plan. “It’s been a long time since anyone’s wanted… to take care of me. It’s one thing for you to do it in bed….”
“Honey. It’s only been a long time since you’ve let anyone. We—maybe not so much me as the rest of the guys… we’ve tried. You just haven’t let it happen.” Garrett pulled on Chase until he leaned full against him, and spoke into his hair. “It’s okay to let us take care of you. To let me. That’s what I’m here for.”
“Yeah.” Chase sniffled but was winning the battle not to cry again. Wow, it really says something that I’m considering not crying a victory. “I’d just rather be the one doing the caretaking.”
“I know. We’ve been unbalanced in that way, but not anymore. I hope.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know. You want to do everything right so everyone you love will love you back. So nothing bad will happen to anyone you love. I get it. Even before I knew… I still saw that. But you haven’t done anything wrong—being imperfect isn’t wrong, it’s human. To be honest, every time you wouldn’t let me help you, I got scared that meant you didn’t really love me. I know that’s not true, but the pulling away is tough. Maybe you can not do that anymore?”
“I can try.”
“Okay, good. That’s enough talking for one day, maybe for a week or even a month.”
Chase took his hand back and wrapped both arms around Garrett, squeezing gently.
After a long moment, Garrett kissed his ear and lightly nipped. “We have some papers to sign.”
Chapter Twenty
GARRETT HAD been waiting for this day and then for Chase to wake up for what seemed like forever. Impatiently waiting, but he still managed to do more working than pacing and only felt wound up in a good way. When three o’clock rolled around and Chase still hadn’t gotten up, he couldn’t wait any longer. He bounced onto the bed, not gently either. If Chase didn’t get up very soon, they would be late. Chase didn’t move or even sigh.
“Chase. Wake up.” Garrett softened his tone with a kiss, but neither made much of an impression.
Chase grumbled “okay” without opening his eyes.
“No, seriously.” Garrett closed his hand over Chase’s shoulder and shook gently. “I have an appointment and want you to come with me.”
Chase’s eyes popped open at that. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Guilt tinged Garrett’s smile, but only a small amount. “It’s not with a doctor.”
“What kind—”
“Shower first, then explanation. Or we’ll be late.”
Chase hurried through a shower, and Garrett felt a little bad about rushing him. And scaring him. The frown lines on his forehead said Chase thought if the appointment wasn’t with a doctor, it had to be something worse. He didn’t leave Garrett much time to stew about it, though—if he hadn’t slept so late they would have had time to talk about it.
Garrett sat in the living room with his large portfolio leaning against his leg, eyes on the hallway. Chase emerged still buttoning his shirt and only slowed the smallest bit when he saw Garrett waiting. They had gotten into the habit of leaving their shoes near the front door when Kyle was doing all the housework—for a laid-back guy, Kyle cared an awful lot about having clean carpets—and had stuck with it after he moved out. Garrett stood, and Chase glanced at the portfolio in his hand and seemed to relax as he continued through the room and stepped into his shoes.
“I’m ready,” Chase said as he turned.
“Thanks. We—”
“Is this the project?”
“Yeah. I—”
“I’ll wait until you tell the client.” Chase left a soft ki
ss on Garrett’s lips, and when he pulled back, he was smiling.
The love and anticipation in that smile made Garrett feel warm inside. A little shaky too, but in a good way.
“Are you sure it’s okay if I come along?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Chase didn’t say anything on the train across the river or the bus that took them steadily north-northeast. Garrett wanted to tell Chase what this meant to him—what he was doing, and that Chase was there with him—but figured he would wait until after talking with Andy and his friend. Garrett already felt a little overwhelmed with feels and didn’t want to embarrass himself, or Chase, by losing it before they could retreat to the condo and really talk about it.
Garrett stood and went to the back door of the bus a block before their stop, he was so excited. They walked into the elementary school where Garrett had learned to read and do math and found the right room easily. Garrett peeked in the doorway, in case he was busy with a student, and Andy was waiting for him.
“Hi, Andy.” Garrett’s voice shook a little, but hopefully nobody noticed.
Andy had been leaning against the teacher’s desk and pushed off to approach the door. “Hi, Garrett. Good to see you again.” Andy’s handshake was all business, even without the blue uniform. He wore pressed khakis and a green polo, and except for his severe haircut, he could have been anyone.
“This is my partner, Chase.” Andy extended a hand, and he and Chase shook.
Andy turned and gestured for them to follow. “This is my fiancé, Ron. He teaches third grade.”
Garrett felt a thrill as Ron turned away from the board. He’d been looking forward to meeting in person, after all the emails they’d exchanged. Ron wasn’t anything like Garrett had pictured him, though. It made Garrett a little embarrassed to admit it—even to himself—but he’d pictured a slightly smaller and softer version of Andy, fair and blond and probably wearing glasses. In reality, Ron Meadows towered over all three of them, his hair and skin both dark brown or maybe even truly black. He did wear glasses, though, with silver wire-rimmed frames that didn’t hide his kind eyes.
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