She only heard part of what he said. The rest of his words were drowned out by the wild thumping of her heart as he pulled her closer and they started swaying with the music.
Everything around her seemed to disappear as she listened, not only to the beautiful music, but also to the equally beautiful sound of his heart beating so close to hers. Nothing mattered except the moment she was in, except that she wished she could stop time and stay in it forever.
She loved him.
∞ TWENTY-SEVEN ∞
RACHEL LOOKED at the number on her caller ID as she drove to work Monday morning and then let the phone ring until it went to her voice mail. How many times was Reeka Marks going to call? She must be scared to death that Rachel was going to get in touch with Dev and tell him what she’d done. In Rachel’s opinion, she should’ve considered that possibility before she did it.
Rachel still couldn’t believe it. In her opinion, Reeka was asking Rachel to break her son’s heart all over again, as long as she could make him give up his current girlfriend. What could be so wrong with her that Reeka would take such drastic measures to separate them? Maybe she was headstrong enough to stand up to Reeka’s controlling nature and the woman couldn’t stand it. Maybe she couldn’t bear the thought of sharing her son’s love with someone else. Maybe, for no reason at all, Reeka just didn’t like the girl. It wouldn’t be surprising. She had never liked Rachel.
It must have taken an awful lot of nerve, even for Reeka, to come to her the way she had. What if she really did have a valid reason for being desperate enough to stoop to any level necessary to get Dev away from the woman? Rachel wished Reeka had said her name. If she had that information, she might be able to find out something about her that might justify Reeka’s actions.
Her curiosity was going to get the better of her. She was going to at least have to find out who this mysterious woman was. Once she knew, she’d decide whether or not she should do anything else. She still cared enough for Dev, even though she never thought she’d loved him, that she would try to help him out if he needed her to. There had to be some reason why Reeka was so desperate.
She said Dev was staying with his grandfather Marks in North Carolina. She remembered him talking about his grandparents when they were going together. His name was Charles. Or was it Carl? No. She thought deeply, trying to remember. Conrad! Yes, it was Conrad. Conrad Marks. It was hard to believe he was even still living. He must be in his nineties.
Dev had often talked about the small town he lived in until he was twelve years old. A place called Marble. She knew of it but had never been there. He wanted to take her there someday and introduce her to his grandparents and some of his favorite cousins. He loved it there, he’d told her, and might even consider moving back when he was old enough to be on his own. Another reason she was glad they hadn’t stayed together. She couldn’t see herself being contented in the country. She could just imagine him trying to get her to milk cows and plow a garden. No thanks. She’d much rather get her milk and vegetables from the store.
Rachel sighed. She had no intention of interfering in his life, but she did want to know why Reeka had done what she had. If she’d had any alternative, she would never have sought out Rachel and made such a ridiculous request. Rachel was going to find out the truth. Dev would never have to know she’d been anywhere near his little town, and there was no way she’d reveal his mother’s treachery if she was to accidentally run into him. If she was to do that, she’d be stooping every bit as low as Reeka herself.
Her phone rang again and she didn’t even look at it. Let Reeka stew for a while. It would serve her right, not only for what she was trying to do now but also for what she did to her and Dev eleven years ago.
TEARS streamed down Reeka’s cheeks as she realized Rachel wasn’t going to answer the phone and talk to her.
Like a bolt from the blue, the truth had hit her the moment she’d gotten back to Conrad’s house the day before. Even though Devon was twenty-seven years old, she still wanted to run his life. How did she know Marna wasn’t right for him? Because her face was scarred and one of her eyes wouldn’t completely open?
She had begun to tremble, feeling like the lowest of the low. Why on earth had she done what she had? If Devon found out, he would hate her. Rachel had to know it, too. Even though she’d said she wouldn’t, after thinking about it for a while, would she come up with a way to be sure Devon learned what his mother had asked her to do? Would she think she finally had a chance to get even with Reeka for the way she’d treated her all those years ago, when she’d told her the best thing she could do was go away and never contact her son again? Before the pregnancy was revealed, Reeka had even offered Rachel money to leave her son alone. Reeka had forgotten about that. Until now.
She paced the floor of her bedroom. Knowing she couldn’t face Devon right away, she’d packed her bags as soon as she arrived at Conrad’s place again. She had to go back home. To her dismay, Devon and Conrad had gotten back before she could get away. She could tell he was confused as to why she was leaving so suddenly, but all she could think of was getting away from him before he pried the truth from her lips – and started hating her as much as she was hating herself.
Suddenly angry, she wiped away her tears. Crying wasn’t going to help a thing. There was no way to undo what had been done. No matter how much she might plead with Rachel to forget about it, all she could do was hope the girl would keep her word and not try to contact Devon.
What hurt the worst was that it had been Rachel Clark who opened her eyes to what she was - a manipulator who wanted to run her son’s life. Ever since Rachel had walked out the door of that restaurant, and all the time she was driving back to Conrad’s home, Reeka’s mind had been flooded with memories of things she’d done while her son was growing up. No matter what he wanted, she was determined it wasn’t right for him. She’d never wanted him and Rachel to be together when they were so young, and now she didn’t want him with Marna. Between the two relationships, Devon had never been serious about anyone else. Not that she knew of anyway, unless it was after he left home. If that were true, he would have at least mentioned it to her. Wouldn’t he?
She’d held onto him too tightly. He was her only son and she was always afraid he’d make the wrong choices and wind up with a broken heart. Ever since the day he was born, it was as if she was certain he couldn’t do anything right without her telling him how to do it.
What if he truly did love Marna? Devon was so much like his father. He always saw beauty and goodness in everything. He would be able to see beneath those scars on Marna’s face, and he would be able to love her.
Yes, he would be able to love her and love her deeply. Would he still be able to love her, his mother, if he was to discover what length she’d gone to, to try to destroy that love? She couldn’t bear the thoughts of losing him. She’d already lost his father. Devon was the only really precious thing she had left in the world.
Another thought came to her. Whether or not he ever found out what she'd done, and whether or not he might still love her afterward, could she ever forgive herself for it? What could she do to atone for the mistakes she’d been making all her life? She suddenly felt like the worst person that was ever born, as remembrance of so many of her wrong choices ran through her mind.
There is none righteous, no not one. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.
Where had those words come from? They were so clear and loud in her mind that they startled her, and her heart started racing. She told herself she hadn’t actually heard them. She remembered reading that scripture and the Lord had brought it to her mind.
But then she heard the voice again, and this time it was even more real.
He revealeth the deep and secret things: he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth in him.
She swallowed and her eyes widened. Was she actually hearing God speak to her or was the fear inside her causing her imagination to run wild? S
he would love to have a conversation with the Lord. She’d love to hear Him, audibly, tell her what she needed to do to right the many mistakes she’d made in her life. He knew about all of them. Hadn’t she just thought of the scripture that said the deep and secret things were revealed to Him?
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
“Is that you, God? Are you talking to me? If You are, would you please tell me how I can make sure I don’t do anything like this again? I’ve had regrets before, but for reasons beyond my control, I went back so many times and did the same thing. What can I do to control the urges that get inside me that cause me to keep repeating my mistakes?”
Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
“Give me strength, Lord, to overcome that weakness.” She knew what she had to do, something she’d been very slack at lately. She had to have a serious talk with the Lord. She could no longer kneel because of an old knee injury, but she could still pray. There was nothing wrong with her voice, that she couldn’t use it to send her petitions up to heaven.
“I’m sorry, Lord,” she said loudly. This was no time to whisper. She had to let Him know she was serious. “I’ve done so many things I regret, not only this last one. It would take me until forever to name them all, but I don’t have to because you already know. Please forgive me and show me how to do better with what time I have left in this life. Whether or not my son can forgive me, please don’t let the error of my ways hurt him or Marna. Please keep Rachel from going to them and possibly destroying their hopes and dreams.”
She continued to pray for a very long time. Although she felt peace with God in her heart afterward, she knew there was still something she had to do. She had to go to Devon, and to Marna, and tell them the truth about what she’d done and how sorry she was for doing it. She only hoped they would be as eager and willing to forgive as God.
∞ TWENTY-EIGHT ∞
MARNA TOOK a good long look in the mirror. The reflection looking back at her was the same one she always saw, but for once she didn’t feel threatened by it. For three years, all she’d seen were the scars and an eye that remained half open and half shut. She saw ugliness and pain and the certainty that she would never be able to find love. No man would ever want someone like her. Now, she saw happiness and a future, despite her looks.
She smiled, thinking of Devon. He cared. He really, truly cared and she was beginning to think his feelings for her were as deep as hers for him. Could it be possible?
If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
Her smile deepened at the remembrance of the scripture, as well as the words that followed it. Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. All she had to do was dwell on truly believing and keep petitioning the Lord to help her every time she found unbelief threatening to return.
She looked at her watch. Devon would be there soon. She couldn’t wait to see him again. Even though they’d been together for the whole day the day before, it seemed like weeks since he’d left her.
She sighed deeply, remembering how he’d held her as they stood by her door. Shivers followed as she recalled his kiss. A real, lingering, passionate kiss. If she could have made it last forever, it would not have been long enough.
Tonight, ironically, she and both her sisters were going to dinner with him. The situation had come about unexpectedly. Marna hadn’t seen or heard from Donovan for a while, and she was surprised when he asked Sharris out and suggested they double-date with Marna and Devon. Devon had told him of their plans. Seems like the guys got to thinking it was a shame to leave Taryn behind, so Donovan said he knew a man he thought would love to take her, if she was willing to accept a blind date. Needless to say, Taryn adamantly refused until both Sharris and Marna did everything but get on their knees and beg her to go. More to get them to leave her alone than any other reason, Taryn finally agreed.
As if on cue, Taryn appeared in Marna’s bedroom doorway. “I still don’t want to do this, you know. If you guys ever try to set me up again, I swear I’ll move out and go somewhere you’ll never be able to find me.”
Marna laughed. She couldn’t help it. To her delight, her sister laughed, too.
“It’s going to be fun,” Marna told her. “We all like and trust Donovan. I don’t think he’d set you up with anyone he didn’t think you’d enjoy being with. If I did, I’d never have tried so hard to get you to go with him.”
“He’s probably fat.”
“Taryn!”
“Well, Donovan knows I’m overweight. Maybe his friend is overweight, too. Maybe that’s why he thinks we’d enjoy each other’s company. Maybe he thinks if we have nothing in common to talk about, we can always carry on a conversation about food.”
The ringing of Marna’s phone interrupted them and she answered quickly. “Hi, Devon.”
“We have a couple more guests for dinner. Would you believe my mom came back, just a little while ago? She says she has some things to talk over with me, but seeing that I was getting ready to go out, it could wait til tomorrow. I hated to leave her alone, when she’d traveled so far, especially as concerned as she seems about whatever’s on her mind. And then I thought, why leave Pops behind? And….”
Marna cut him off with her laughter. “I think that’s wonderful! The more the merrier.” As she hung up the phone, she couldn’t help remembering the time, not long ago, when she dreaded being among people. Being with Devon had changed her entire way of thinking. He'd given her a confidence she’d never believed she would have.
“So what’s wonderful and why is the more the merrier?” Taryn wanted to know.
“Devon’s mother is back and she and Conrad are coming, too.”
Taryn frowned. “Reeka Marks. She sized me up so thoroughly the last time I saw her that I’ll bet she knows just exactly how much I weigh, to the tenth of a pound.”
“Quit belittling yourself, Taryn Cord! I don’t want to hear one more word about your weight. Okay?”
Taryn sighed. “Okay. But if he’s fat, don’t be surprised! What’s his name again anyway?”
“Landon Martin. He’s Donovan’s cousin.”
Taryn moaned. “Oh, no! You didn’t tell me that. What if he looks like Donovan?”
“Well, there’s certainly nothing wrong with the way Donovan looks.”
“That’s exactly what I mean! If Landon is as good looking as Donovan, he’ll hate being seen with somebody like me!”
Marna wanted to slap her. “Oh, go to your room and get ready, and while you’re at it, tell yourself you’re going to have a good time this evening.”
Even though Landon turned out to be opposite in looks than his cousin, with dark brown hair and a mustache and was quite a bit shorter, he was still very easy to look at, and he didn’t seem at all displeased when he was introduced to Taryn. Taryn, in turn, looked very nice. Her new dress was slimming and she’d fixed her hair in a pretty upsweep. The smile she and Landon gave each other was encouraging.
Finally, Marna thought. Maybe her sister would finally let go of her inhibitions and allow herself to have some fun for a change!
The evening turned out to be delightful. Reeka seemed quieter than she was the other time they’d been together, but the others chatted so much that it was barely noticeable. A time or two, Conrad looked at her quizzically, as if wondering if something was bothering her but he said nothing. Except when he asked Reeka to dance.
She laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“I’m not. I’m a good dancer. Just ask Taryn.”
Taryn chuckled, remembering the day Conrad had practically forced her to dance with him. “Oh, he’s very good, Reeka.”
Reeka sighed, stood up and took her father-in-law’s hands to help him to his feet, then allowed him to lean on her a little as they started to the dance floor.
“So what’s bothering
you, Reeka,” Conrad asked as soon as she was in his arms and his face was close to her ear.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve known you for thirty years now, and I don’t think you’ve ever been as quiet as you are tonight.”
Of course, she wasn’t going to tell him the truth, but she did feel a little like talking to him. “I’ve had some revelations lately that have been real eye openers. I think I’m clinging too tightly to Devon.”
“Oh?”
“Con would be very disappointed in me. I loved him very much, Conrad.”
“As he did you.”
“He knew how strict I was with our son. Still, he never called me down on it or made me feel like anything I did was done for any other reason than because I loved Devon so much. But what if I were to suddenly overstep the bounds? What if I were to do something that hurt Devon very deeply? Do you think he could ever forgive me?”
“What have you done, Reeka?”
She stopped talking, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the beautiful, dark-haired girl sitting alone at a corner table. Her entire body stiffened as she stared at her in disbelief.
“Are you all right?” Conrad wanted to know.
“I….I need to go to the ladies’ room.” Jerking away from his arms, she started quickly across the room. But not before Rachel raised her eyes and saw her.
For a moment, their gazes locked. Reeka’s eyes were filled with fear, while Rachel’s looked….how would you describe them? Triumphant, perhaps?
Conrad made his way slowly back to the table. “I guess I wore her out,” he teased. “She had to run off to the ladies’ room to get her breath.”
Everyone laughed, and Conrad sat down heavily in the chair he’d vacated earlier.
Reeka returned to the table a few minutes later. The main course arrived and Donovan blessed the food. Then everyone started eating and silence prevailed.
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