by Caroline Lee
No, that wasn’t true. Although his homecoming to Quinn Valley had been very different from how he’d always pictured it, there had been some really wonderful moments over the last few days.
Dad had never been particularly demonstrative, but it seemed like the two of them had a lot more in common than they used to. Or at least, they had similar interests. And yeah, the way Dad still treated him like a kid sometimes really made Tripp angry, but he had years of experience in dealing with that anger now.
And it had been really awesome to reconnect with Cooper and meet his wife and stepdaughter. Little Kalli Jo had to be the cutest little girl Tripp had ever seen, and he thought Jackie was really down to earth too.
Marybeth had burst into tears when she’d seen Tripp for the first time since his return, and the way she fussed over him, and praised him for his metamorphosis, was pretty much exactly the way he’d always imagined Mom would react. Her husband Mack didn’t say much, but when he did, he was a cool guy. Working with explosive ordnance, Tripp had known plenty of soldiers who’d lost limbs. With Mack’s missing leg, they’d had a really interesting conversation on the advances of prosthetic limb technology and the new exoskeletons coming to the market.
The only family member Tripp hadn’t seen yet was Kenneth. And as far as Tripp was concerned, that was A-OK with him. As the oldest, Kenneth had always been in charge. At least, that was the way he saw things. Kenneth loved to be in control, and loved to boss the rest of them around. In fact, it seemed at the time that everything their parents were trying to talk Tripp into doing, Kenneth had already done. Kenneth never let anger—or any emotion—ever get the better of him. He was always so calm and in control of himself, which he thought meant he should be in control of everyone else as well.
Between his parents and Kenneth, Tripp thought it was pretty amazing he hadn’t blown something up at a much younger age!
So yeah, reconnecting with his family had been, on the whole, pretty awesome. He still teared up at the realization Mom—whom he’d held in his memories as some kind of paragon these last several years—wasn’t ever coming back. The future he’d imagined was just that; imagination.
He figured it would be a long time before he was able to separate the anger from the guilt from the sorrow.
But if things went the way he hoped, he would have plenty of time to work through that.
He was already applying for jobs in the area, and he’d worked up the nerve to reach out to Alyssa. If she accepted his apology for leaving all those years ago, if she let him make it right with her, he really, really, really hoped she could be part of the new future he was imagining.
And why not? She herself said she wasn’t married. If she were dating someone, she wouldn’t have accepted the dinner date with him, would she? Unless...she didn’t see it as a date?
Tripp shoved his hands in his pockets and frowned slightly as he walked. In the past, she’d put up with a lot from him. She’d been his anchor at a time when he felt rudderless, totally at the mercy of his emotions. She’d loved him then...could she love him again? Now that he was a better man?
Tripp figured he would find out tonight. Maybe not the fact she wanted a future with him, but at least maybe he’d find out if it was even a possibility.
He resisted the urge to cross his fingers. He was almost to the pub her family owned—the pub he’d been kicked out of more than a few times when he’d been younger—and he felt excited to see her again.
Soon.
On the sidewalk ahead of him, a man and a boy were walking in his direction. The boy was holding the man’s hand, and the man was saying something which had the boy nodding. From this distance, it was hard to tell, but the man looked familiar.
As they drew closer, Tripp was sure of it. Had he gone to school with this guy?
As they drew abreast of one another, Tripp sucked in a breath of realization.
“Dusty McIver?” he asked, sure now he recognized the man.
Alyssa’s twin brother glanced at him in surprise, then his brows went up and he smiled. “Didn’t we go to school together? You’re one of the Westons, aren’t you?”
Tripp nodded and held out his hand with a slight smile. “Tripp.”
Dusty whistled and shook his hand enthusiastically. “You’re Kenneth’s little brother, aren’t you? Man, we’ve all heard him talk about you. It’s good to see you back in town; he must be really happy to see you again!”
Now it was Tripp’s turn to be surprised. Kenneth had talked about him? And it sounded like he’d said good things?
Dusty didn’t seem to realize the bombshell he’d just dropped, as he went on. “Man, I’m really sorry about your mother. But I’m glad you’re back to be with your family. Your father must be excited too.”
Alyssa’s twin brother obviously hadn’t realized how long Tripp had been away, or how much he had to feel guilty about. But then, Alyssa had always kept their relationship a secret, and it was probably for the best. The man Tripp had been back then...? Well, in the subsequent years he’d realized if he ever had a daughter, he would have never let her near someone like him!
But he acknowledged Dusty’s words with a smile. “Yeah, I’m glad to be back.” It was the truth. “Good to catch up with old friends and neighbors.” He nodded down to the boy at Dusty’s side, thinking it must be his kid.
But when the boy glanced up, Tripp felt his heart lurch.
The kid had ice-blue eyes. The same eyes Tripp and his siblings shared with their father, their uncle, and all of their cousins.
Weston eyes.
Tripp never met anyone else with eyes of the same color. This kid was a Weston. But whose?
Had to be one of his cousins’ kids. Tripp was younger than most of them, and obviously hadn’t kept up with them. But Dad had said they were all married, and having babies for a new generation of kids at River’s End Ranch. So who did this kid belong to?
Dusty must have sensed his question, because he clapped the boy on the back. “This is my nephew, Jeremiah. Jerm, say hi to Mr. Tripp.”
Solemnly, the kid held out his hand for a shake.
In a daze, Tripp reached for it. Dusty’s nephew? Was Dusty married to a Weston?
As he shook the kid’s hand and gazed into eyes identical to his own, he felt his throat closing up. The familiar itchy anger at something he couldn’t identify began to crawl across his skin, and he forced himself to breathe.
What was it about this boy? What was it he was seeing?
“Your...nephew?” he managed to squeeze out through a tight throat.
Dusty seemed unaware of his discomfort. “Yep! I’m the fun uncle— Isn’t that right, Jerm?” He patted the kid’s back again and laughed. “When Alyssa has to work, or has a date—like tonight, miracle of miracles!—I’m the go-to babysitter.”
Alyssa?
Tripp’s gaze slammed into Dusty’s, sure the horror he felt was visible on his face.
Alyssa’s kid?
He looked back at Jeremiah. “How old are you?” he choked out.
The kid’s solemn gaze hadn’t left him. “I’ll be six in a few weeks.”
Six years old.
Alyssa’s kid.
The Weston eyes.
Tripp dropped Jeremiah’s hand as if he’d been burned, and stumbled back, unable to breathe.
Jeremiah was his.
5:58.
Alyssa smiled as she flicked her phone off. She made a mental note to thank Dusty for meeting her here in the parking lot of Quinn’s to pick up Jeremiah. She could have left him home with Mom, but Dusty had promised him a burger from Bacon Boys, and that was much more appealing to an almost-six-year-old. Because she hadn’t had to drive Jeremiah to Dusty, she’d had time to do her hair and choose a cute dress. Even Dusty had commented on it, pointing out it was the first time he could remember her going on a date.
Since she’d been twenty years old, she’d only ever dated one man. And tonight, she was having a date with that same man ag
ain.
She reached for the inside door lever of her car. Whatever happened tonight, she was sure it would be nothing like what she and Tripp used to share.
Excuse me! Wil.
She kind of liked the idea of thinking of him by a new name. If he really was a new man, he deserved the chance to reinvent himself. But honestly, she’d be more than happy to leave their past behind them and focus on their future. A future with Wil. She was smiling as she opened the door and climbed out of her beat-up sedan.
Something caught her eye, and she looked up to see him storming across the parking-lot towards her. He looked…
Livid.
He looked so much like his old self, Alyssa couldn’t stop the gasp which escaped her lips as she stepped towards him.
Then he was at her car, and reached around to slam her door so forcefully, she thought he might have bent it.
She stumbled back. This was the old Tripp, the angry Tripp. The one who would never hurt her, but who had lashed out more than once in her presence.
Habits learned over seven years ago had her stepping towards him once more, her palm raised to touch his cheek. Back then, her touch was the only thing which could calm him. Back then, he would take a few deep breaths, and eventually stop ranting.
But this time, his hand caught hers before she could touch him, and she realized the anger in his gaze was directed at her. In all the time she’d seen him angry, she’d never seen him angry at her.
“Tripp? Wil?” She wasn’t sure what to call him.
He stood there, the muscles in his jaw clenching, as he breathed deeply. It was a silent tableau which lasted more than a few heartbeats. But as she watched in concern, his muscles loosened, his breaths became deeper, and the tightness around his eyes eased.
Somehow, somewhere, he’d learned to control himself, without her.
Still, his voice was rough when he finally spoke.
“I walked here. Ran into Dusty. I met Jeremiah, Lyssa.”
She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see accusation, but at the same time, a weight lifted from her shoulders. She wouldn’t have to tell him he had a son. He’d figured it out on his own.
Eyes still closed, she whispered, “How did you know?”
Slowly, she felt him pull her hand forward, until he placed her palm against his cheek. Where she’d intended it to be all along.
So she felt it when he said, “He has my eyes, Lyssa. Dusty said he was yours, and he has my eyes.”
Alyssa exhaled and nodded, opening her eyes to meet his. “He’s yours, Tripp,” she whispered, grateful to finally say the words.
They stood there in the parking lot of her cousins’ restaurant, her hand on his cheek and him holding it there, for what seemed like forever. His ice-blue eyes, identical to her—their—son’s, flashed back and forth between hers, as if searching for the truth.
“Were you going to tell me, Lyssa?” he asked in a rough whisper.
Smiling a little sadly, she nodded, then allowed her fingertips to caress his shaved cheek. “Jeremiah was what I meant when I said we have a lot to talk about.”
Abruptly, Tripp dropped her hand and stepped back. He ran his hands through his hair and blew out a heavy breath. “I have a son,” he whispered. He looked up and met her eyes, incredulity and hope warring in their ice-blue depths. “I have a son?”
She nodded again, gently. “You do.” This is the part she had to say. “I don’t know what the future will hold, Tripp, but now that I’ve seen the kind of man you’ve become, I needed to tell you about him.”
“The future? What do you mean—” He shook his head a little frantically. “I’m here. I’m here to stay. I have a son!”
“Yes.” But she would be the one to reserve judgment over Tripp’s place in Jeremiah’s life.
He whispered a curse under his breath, eyes wide. She winced, but supposed a man who’d spent so many years in the army had learned plenty of naughty words.
He ran his hands across his head, then tugged on his short blond hair. His gaze slammed back into hers, and she could see the questions swimming within them.
“What happened?” he whispered.
She lifted one brow. Surely he remembered what happened? It had only been a handful of times, but the act had changed her forever.
He saw her raised brow and the twist of her lips, and exhaled on a laugh, dropping his hands and rolling his eyes. “Not that. I know how it happened. I mean…” He stepped closer to her. “After I left? What happened, Lyssa?”
Ah. A hard question.
She shrugged and looked away, focusing on the brick rear wall of the pub. It wasn’t an easy story to tell.
“You were already gone before I realized I was pregnant. That last day I saw you, you were going back to your parents’ house. I called you and called you, but you never picked up. I thought I’d made you angry or something.” She wrapped her hands around her stomach, remembering how worried she’d been. “It was days later before I heard what had happened that day; how you’d stormed off from their house, leaving everything.”
“Even my cell phone,” he said quietly.
Her gaze jerked to his, then away once more as she sighed. “I think I cried for two straight weeks. I was so worried for you. My body started doing strange things, but I thought it was just because I was so upset. I knew I wasn’t eating enough, and my mom was really worried.”
From the corner of her eyes, she saw him take another hesitant step towards her. “Lyssa…”
“By the time I figured out I was pregnant, it was almost a relief to have an answer. I didn’t know what to do, but eventually my mom figured it out.”
Then he was beside her, his presence warming her. They were so close, and she remembered how good it felt to take his hand the other day. But she hugged herself harder.
“Was it hard?” he whispered.
“So hard.” Her voice caught, remembering her family’s questions, and her refusal to answer them. “I wouldn’t tell them who the father was. By that time, I didn’t know if you were coming back, and I didn’t want them to…”
“To judge you because you cared for me,” he said, finishing her sentence for her.
She didn’t bother nodding, because it was the truth.
“My God, Lyssa.” His voice cracked, as if he was close to tears. “I knew you were a strong woman, but that…” He took a deep breath. “I know I’ve apologized a dozen times, but you’re probably going to hear it a hundred more.”
Then, to her surprise, he fulfilled her desperate need. He wrapped one arm around her back and turned her in his embrace, so her cheek was resting against his shoulder. She could hear his heartbeat.
“Lyssa, I am so, so sorry I wasn’t here for that. I’m so sorry I did something as dumb as running off just when you needed me, and not even telling you. Please believe me, if I’d been here, I would have done everything in my power to make it right.”
She was unwilling to leave her sanctuary, but she did pull her face back just enough to stare up into his. “Would you? You were so angry back then.”
He took a deep breath, started to say something, then hesitated. “I’d like to tell you I would have married you in a heartbeat. I would have, I know that. I wanted to back then already, remember? But you were smarter than me.”
She smiled just slightly. “You weren’t ready back then. You weren’t ready to settle down, or face the kind of responsibility a wife and family would have required.”
As much as she loved him, more than once over the years as she thought back on their relationship, Alyssa had known marrying Tripp Weston would have been a bad idea. At the rate he was going, he would have burned up or burned out or set something on fire.
Tripp’s arms tightened around her, and she rested her head on his shoulder once more. “I’m sorry for that too,” he whispered. “I loved you so much, Alyssa, and I knew I wanted to be with you. But you were right. I needed to leave, I needed to find myself.”
&nb
sp; “And now?” she whispered.
He was still and silent for a long moment. She listened to the steady beat of his heart, and marveled at how well he managed to control the anger she’d seen in his eyes. He truly was a new man.
Finally, he took a deep breath. “Like you said, Lyssa, I don’t know what the future will hold, but I do know this: I’m here to stay. I’m ready for the responsibility, and I know I can handle what I couldn’t handle back then. Six years in the army will do that to a man. I know I loved you then, and I’d really, really like the chance to know you again now. We’ve both changed, Lyssa, but I’m not sure how much.”
Slowly, she unwrapped her arms from around her stomach and snaked them around his back. Standing like this, her body pressed against his, made her feel like a teenager again. It was sad and exciting, all at once.
“And I know,” he whispered, “that as Jeremiah’s mother and guardian, you have the ultimate say about his life. You cannot know how much I respect you for raising your son on your own.”
He pressed a kiss into Alyssa’s hair, just like he’d done so many times in the past, then continued. “Jeremiah is definitely yours...but he’s mine too.” He paused, then swallowed. “And I want you to know that I will bow to whatever decision you make, but…”
“But?” She whispered against his T-shirt.
“But if you’ll allow it, I would very much like to be a part of your son’s life, Lyssa.”
He was asking her. He was asking her permission to know his own son. Alyssa inhaled a shuddering breath, knowing his words were what she’d needed to hear. If he had demanded or cajoled, she would have done her best to protect Jeremiah. But with him asking like that, how could she say no?
Maybe not immediately, and maybe she and Tripp—or Wil or whoever he was now—should get to know one another a bit more, but she wouldn’t deny him the right to know Jeremiah.
So she smiled, tightened her hold, and corrected him. “Our son.”
CHAPTER SIX
It was the best date he’d ever been on. So was the next one. And the one after that. In fact, every time he went on a date with Alyssa, Tripp was convinced it was the most amazing time of his life. And it probably was. Although he’d spent six years remembering the way it used to be with her, it was impossible to deny it was even better now.