The Trouble with Caasi

by Debbie Macomber

  “I’m fine, so quit worrying about me. Women have been having babies since the beginning of time.”

  Burt looked up at Caasi. “I’ll say one thing: Having a baby is a lot different than I thought.”

  Caasi smiled reassuringly. “I don’t imagine it’s much what June thought, either.” She glanced down to note that June’s face was twisted with pain. Instinctively, Caasi gave June her hand. Her friend gripped it the way a drowning man would a life preserver. After a few moments her face relaxed.

  “The pains last about thirty seconds, but it’s the longest thirty seconds of my life,” June whispered.

  “The last time the nurse checked, she’d dilated to five centimeters. She has to get to ten centimeters in the first stage of labor.”

  Caasi had been reading the book the doctor had given her in preparation for the big event. Once June was fully dilated, the second stage of labor, when the baby entered the birth canal, would begin.

  “The nurse said that won’t be for hours yet,” June told her.

  “Not to worry, I’ve got all day. What about you?”

  “Well, if the truth be known, I’m missing a big sale at Lloyd Center,” June joked.

  The hours passed quickly. Caasi was shocked to look up from timing a contraction to note that it was after seven, and she hadn’t eaten lunch. But she was too busy to care about food.

  When the hard contractions came, Burt coached his wife, while Caasi, her hand on June’s abdomen, counted out the seconds. Time and again Caasi was astonished at her friend’s fortitude. June and Burt had decided in the beginning that they wanted a natural childbirth, and although the pains were excruciating, June’s resolve didn’t waver. Burt didn’t look as confident.

  When the time came to move into the delivery room, Caasi and Burt were asked to don surgical gowns.

  “I didn’t realize I would have to dress for the occasion,” Caasi joked, as June reached for her hand.

  A small cry slipped from June as the pain crescendoed. As it ebbed, June lay back on the pillow, panting.

  Burt carried June’s fingers to his lips. Then, tenderly, he wiped the moisture from her brow.

  “I love you,” June whispered, the soft light of love shining in her eyes.

  Strangely, Caasi didn’t feel like an intruder on the touching scene; she felt she was a part of it—a wonderful, important part.

  “I’ve never loved you more than I do right this minute,” Burt whispered in return.

  Another pain came and June bit into her lip with the grinding agony, panting and breathless when it waned.

  “One more pain and you should be able to see the head,” the doctor told them. A round mirror was positioned near the ceiling, and all eyes focused on the reflection as another pain came and passed. June gave Caasi a happy but weak smile.

  The baby started crying once the head was free of the birth canal, the doctor supporting the tiny skull.

  “Good pair of lungs,” Burt said excitedly. “It must be a girl.”

  One final contraction and the baby slipped into the doctor’s waiting hands.

  “It’s a girl,” he announced.

  June gave an exhilarated cry. “Oh, I wanted a girl so badly. Burt … a girl.” Laughing and crying at the same time, she threw her arms around her husband’s neck, hugging him fiercely.

  “Seven pounds, twelve ounces,” the nurse said, as she lifted the squalling baby from the scale.

  Unabashed tears of happiness flowed down Caasi’s cheeks. She had never felt such wondrous joy in her life. To have had even a small part in the baby’s birth produced warm emotions that touched the softest core of her heart.

  “Caasi.” June gripped her hand. “You’re crying. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry.”

  “It’s all so beautiful. And your daughter’s beautiful.”

  “Should I tell her?” Burt looked down with love at his wife. At June’s confirming nod, he glanced up. “June and I decided if we had a daughter we would name her Cassi—two s’s, one a.”

  “After a lifelong friend we both love and respect,” June added.

  Caasi couldn’t push the words of love and appreciation past the lump of happiness in her throat.

  “And, of course, we want you to be her godmother,” Burt continued.

  “Of course,” Caasi confirmed, tears winding a crooked path down her face.

  An hour later, Caasi walked to her car parked on the deserted street. A look at her watch confirmed that it was almost ten. She felt like skipping and singing. Tiny, sweet baby Cassi was adorable, and Caasi couldn’t love her any more if she were her own.

  Caasi pulled onto the avenue and merged with the flow of traffic. She felt wonderful and rolled down the window, singing as she cheerfully missed the turn that would lead her back to the downtown area and the Empress.

  Before she could reconsider, she took the turnoff for Gresham and Blake’s house. He’d said something about wanting to talk to her after the meeting that afternoon, but that wasn’t the reason she had to see him. If she didn’t tell someone about the baby, she’d burst.

  There wasn’t a streetlight to guide her as she drove down the winding road. She had to pull over to the side of the road a couple times, having difficulty finding her way in the night. Finally she pulled into the driveway, the old weeping willow the only reminder she required.

  The kitchen lights were on, and Caasi paused before climbing out of the car and slowly closing the door. Maybe coming to Blake’s wasn’t such a good idea after all. They’d been fighting when she left.

  The back door opened and Blake came down the steps. “Caasi.” He sounded shocked. “Is anything wrong?”

  She shook her head. “June had a baby girl.”

  “That’s wonderful. Come inside and I’ll make you a cup of coffee.”

  “I’d like that.”

  A hand at her elbow guided her up the stairs. The coffeepot was on the kitchen counter. Caasi glanced into the living room and saw an open book lying across the arm of an overstuffed chair. Blake had been spending a quiet evening at home reading.

  He handed her a mug and Caasi took it, leaning against the kitchen counter as she hugged the coffee cup with both hands.

  “June and Burt are naming her Cassi—two s’s, one a. She’s so beautiful, all pink and with the tiniest hands. She’s perfect, just perfect. Before they moved her out of the delivery room, the nurse let me hold her for a few minutes. It was the most incredible feeling I’ve ever experienced, holding this new life. I still can’t believe it,” she finished breathlessly.

  A warm smile appeared on his face and was reflected in his eyes as he watched her. “Come and sit down in the living room. You can tell me all about it.”

  “I don’t even know where to start.” She sat in the chair opposite his and lifted the lid from a candy jar nearby, popping a couple pieces of hard candy into her mouth. “I’m starved. I hope you don’t mind if I help myself.”

  “Didn’t you eat dinner?”

  Caasi shook her head. “Not lunch, either. No time,” she explained, while sucking the lemon drops. The sugary sweetness filled her mouth, making her hunger more pronounced.

  “Let me fix you something.”

  “No, I’ll be fine, really,” she asserted.

  Blake ignored her, returning to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator as Caasi trailed after him. “There are leftover pork chops, eggs, bacon. What’s your pleasure?”

  Caasi bit into the side of her mouth to keep from saying: You. The thought nearly squeezed the oxygen from her lungs. Never had she wanted a home and husband more than she did at that moment. They even looked like an old married couple, standing in the kitchen, roaming through the fridge and looking for leftovers.

  “Caasi?” Blake glanced up, his look questioning.

  She shook her head. “Anything’s fine. Don’t worry about a meal, a sandwich would do as well.”

  “Bacon and eggs,” he decided for her, taking both from the re
frigerator and setting them on top of the counter.

  Caasi pulled out a chair and sat at the table while Blake peeled off thick slices of bacon and laid them across a skillet.

  “June was incredible,” Caasi continued. “She was a real trooper. Burt and June had decided they wanted natural childbirth, and she did it. She refused to give up. Burt tried to talk her into using the anesthesiologist a couple of times. but June refused.” She paused and smiled. “Instead of watching, he closed his eyes along with her. Don’t get me wrong—he was wonderful, too. I don’t know how any woman can have a baby without her husband’s help. I know I couldn’t.” Caasi swallowed tightly. But then, she probably wouldn’t have a child. Some of the enthusiasm left her and she stared into the coffee mug.

  Silence filled the kitchen.

  “The meeting with Schultz and Schultz went fine. But they’d like you to make a trip to Seaside next Tuesday, if you can.”

  “I don’t see why not.” Eagerly Caasi picked up the conversation. “I don’t remember that anything’s scheduled. I’ll check with Laurie in the morning.” Her index finger made a lazy circle on the tabletop. “Will you be coming?” Blake sometimes traveled with her, depending on the circumstances.

  “It looks as if I’ll have to. We’ll leave Harris in the office, which will be good experience for him.”

  “Sure,” she agreed, feeling somewhat guilty. Not once in the past week had she made an effort to meet or talk to Brian Harris. The man served only to remind her that Blake was leaving, and she hadn’t accepted that. Couldn’t accept it. Not yet.

  The bacon grease was sizzling in the frying pan when Blake cracked two eggs against the side and let them slide into the hot fat. With the dexterity of an accomplished chef he flipped down the toaster switch.

  “Hey, I didn’t realize you were that skilled in the kitchen,” Caasi murmured, uneasy with the fact that he could cook and she couldn’t.

  “Practice makes perfect, and I’ve cooked plenty of solitary meals in my time,” he said, as he slid the fried eggs onto a plate. He set the meal in front of her and straddled a chair, drinking his coffee while she ate.

  Everything was delicious, and she said as much. “I don’t remember a time I’ve enjoyed a meal more.” At his skeptical look, Caasi laughed and crossed her heart with her finger. “Honest.”

  “Then I suggest you have a talk with that expensive chef you imported.”

  Blake had never approved of her hiring the Frenchman who ran the Empress kitchen.

  “I’d be willing to do away with the whole kitchen staff if you’d agree to stay.”

  Forcefully Blake expelled his breath, and Caasi realized that she’d done it again.

  Lowering her gaze to the empty plate, she tore a piece of crust from her toast. “That was a dumb joke. I didn’t mean it.” For once, just tonight, when she was so happy, she didn’t want to say or do anything that would start a disagreement.

  “Didn’t you?” he asked in a low, troubled voice.

  Caasi peered at him through thick lashes. “Well, it’s true I don’t want you to go, but my reasons are entirely selfish.”

  “You don’t need me anymore.”

  If only he knew. “I guess not,” she agreed reluctantly, “but you’ve always been there, and it won’t be the same when you’re gone.”

  “Sure it will.”

  How could he sound so casual about leaving the place that had been his second home for six years? Apparently she didn’t mean much to him. Instead of seeking answers to the nagging doubts, Caasi scooted out of her chair and stood.

  “I’ll do the dishes. Anyone who does the cooking shouldn’t have to do the dishes.”

  “Caasi Crane doing dishes,” Blake said mockingly. “This I’ve got to see.”

  “Well, just who do you think did them the night we baked the quiche?” she declared righteously. “I am a capable person, Blake, whether you care to admit it or not.”

  She washed while he dried and put away. Wordlessly they worked together, but it wasn’t a strained silence.

  When they finished, Caasi noted that it was late … they both had to be at work in the morning. There wasn’t any reason to stay, but she didn’t want to go.

  “I suppose I should think about heading back,” she murmured, as she dried her hands on a kitchen towel.

  Blake agreed with a curt nod, but he didn’t look as though he wanted her to leave, either.

  Caasi glanced at the oil painting over the fireplace. “Have you done any artwork lately?” Maybe some small talk would delay her departure.

  “Not much to speak of.” He shrugged. “I’m thinking about concentrating more on my painting after the first of the month.”

  After the first—when he would no longer be at the Empress and wouldn’t be troubled with her anymore.

  “Let me know; I’d like to buy something from you.”

  Blake laughed outright. “I only dabble in art. The Empress displays paintings from some of the best in the country. Those artists would be insulted to have my work hanging beside theirs.”

  Caasi hadn’t been thinking of hanging it in the hotel, but in her suite. It would give her something tangible to remember him by. But rather than admit it, she said nothing.

  “We did it,” Caasi murmured, as they strolled toward her car.

  “Did what?”

  “Went the whole night, or at least a portion of it, without fighting. That’s a record, I think.”

  “You mentioned my resignation only once.”

  “I won’t admit how many times I’ve had to bite my tongue,” Caasi teased.

  “Is my leaving that difficult for you to accept?” Blake leaned against the front of her car and folded his arms across his chest.

  Caasi shrugged both delicate shoulders. “Yes,” she admitted starkly. “But I’m beginning to understand how selfish I’m being toward you. There’s something about having you with me.… I trust you, Blake—sometimes more than I do myself. Looking back, I can see the mistakes I’ve made in my enthusiasm to live up to Dad’s expectations. I allowed Crane Enterprises to become everything to me.”

  For a long second he looked at her. “But not anymore?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted honestly. “But I’d do anything if you’d change your mind.”

  Indecision flickered in his narrowed gaze. “You’re handing me a powerful weapon; you know that, don’t you, Caasi?”

  “You’re worth it.”

  “To Crane Enterprises?”

  She nodded. “And me,” she told him softly.

  He was silent for so long that Caasi wasn’t sure if he’d heard her.

  “Let me think about it,” Blake said. Looking away, he took a deep breath, as if struggling within himself.

  “How soon before you can give me an answer?” Her heart was beating double time. If Blake stayed she would have the opportunity to explore the relationship that was developing between them. The thought of losing him now—just when she was discovering Blake, the man—was intolerable.

  “I’ll let you know by the first of the week.”

  “Great,” Caasi agreed. At least there was a chance.

  Seven

  Monday morning Caasi strolled into the outer office and greeted her secretary with a cheerful “Good morning.”

  Laurie glanced up. A frown drove deep grooves into her wide brow. “Good morning, Miss Crane.”

  Caasi was sure Laurie didn’t know what to think of her anymore. Her secretary probably attributed the wide swings in her moods to Blake’s resignation. Not immune to office gossip, Caasi was aware that there was heavy speculation as to his reasons.

  Today she would know his decision. How could he refuse her after all that they’d shared recently? How could he walk away from her on a day as gorgeous and sunny as this one? He wouldn’t, Caasi was sure of it.

  In her office, she buzzed the intercom. “Laurie, would you ask Mr. Sherrill to come to my office when he arrives?”

  “I
think he’s in now.”

  “Good.”

  Caasi released the switch and sauntered to the far side of the room. So much had changed between her and Blake in such a short time. Mostly there was Blake to thank for that. And he’d see that she was changing and that would be all the incentive he’d need to stay.

  Friday she’d watched him, studied his body language as well as his speech. He didn’t want to leave, she was sure of it. Her father had warned her of the hazards of being overconfident, but she didn’t feel the necessity to heed his counsel this morning. Not this glorious morning.

  Caasi had spent Sunday with June, Burt, and baby Cassi. June had come home from the hospital, and while Burt had fussed over his wife, Caasi had sat and held the baby. Cradling the tiny being in her arms had filled her heart with love. This was what it meant to be a woman, whole and complete. The overwhelming tenderness she’d experienced holding the baby lingered even now, a day later.

  Sunday night Caasi had lain awake, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. So much depended on Blake’s decision. Her father had taught her to hope for the best but plan for the worst. She’d asked herself over and over again what would change if Blake decided to leave. Ultimately nothing. Brian Harris seemed capable enough of assuming Blake’s duties.

  But losing Blake the man would be more than Caasi could bear. Not now, not when she was just coming into her own. Surely he’d see the changes in her and withdraw his resignation.

  “Good morning,” Blake said, as he entered the room. “You wanted to see me?”

  “Yes.” Caasi nodded, standing at her desk. One look at Blake and a nauseated feeling attacked her stomach. He looked terrible. “Blake, are you ill?”

  “No,” he denied. “I suspect you want to hear my decision.”

  “Of course I do,” she said, somewhat sharply. What she wanted to do was scream at him to tell her what she needed to hear: the promise that he’d never leave her, that he’d stay with her all her life.