by E. C. Land
Getting on my bike, I look back at Rissa’s house. My gut tightening, thinking something’s not right here. I need to talk to her. Make sure everything’s okay. We’ve been together since I first met her when I was sixteen and she was fifteen.
We didn’t let her parents stop us from being together when they went all judgmental about my family. Rissa didn’t have a problem with my cousins, Darren and Orion, Jax, and I being raised by our uncle. She knew my story. Knew what I went through as a kid. There was no keeping that shit from her, even if I wanted to. Rissa saw the scars marring my body from the cigarette burns and other things.
Sighing, I take off, leaving Rissa’s in hopes she’ll call me when she gets a chance. Maybe her parents just took her out to do something, just the three of them. I don’t know.
Parents do that shit, I’m sure.
I ride hard and fast, needing the wind.
Ela, Fury’s ol’ lady and the only mother figure I’ve ever known. I don’t even classify my own as a mother figure. No, she was a monster. Where Ela was all things I ever wanted in a mom. She told me I was a child of the wind. Always finding my peace in the winds while I’m riding.
She’s a little nutty, but no one says anything against her because her shit is always right on the spot.
I use the ride to clear my head and get back to the clubhouse.
Thankfully no one’s around, and I’m about to just go to my room.
For the rest of the week, my worry for Rissa gets worse. She’s not answering, and her parents haven’t come back yet from where ever they went.
My phone rings, and I notice it’s an unknown number, while I’m working on a car at the club’s garage, trying to stay busy. Furrowing my brows, I flip my phone open and answer.
“Hello.”
“Ike.” Rissa’s voice comes through the line, and I stop what I’m doing to give her my full attention.
“Rissa?” I murmur her name softly. “Where are you? Are you okay? I’ve been calling.”
“I’m sorry, Ike, I really am, but I’m breaking up with you,” she whispers.
“What the fuck? You can’t be serious,” I mutter, starting to get pissed. Here I’ve been worried about her ass, and she’s going to break up with me. “Why?”
No, this has got to do with her parents. They finally got to her.
“Yes, I’m serious. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I couldn’t ever be with someone as marred as you. And I can’t be with a guy like you because you’re an outlaw and the thought of being with you makes my skin crawl. I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to accept the fact you’re not good enough for me, and I don’t want to be a part of your world or anyone else in it. Just like your mother didn’t want you.”
Before I can snap or yell at Rissa for the bullshit she’s spewing, she’s hanging up, not giving me a chance.
What the fuck?
This is how she wants to end it, me hating her, fine.
She’s getting her wish.
I’m done.
Shaking my head, I look at my daughter and smile. I push the negative thoughts from my mind. I don’t need them in my head.
I already have enough shit to deal with. Such as making sure my daughter is never kidnapped again. Or put in the hands of a psycho bitch.
Between all the shit that’s happened, I don’t want to trust anyone I don’t know with her safety.
Unfortunately, Chains’ and Breaker’s ol’ ladies have a salon that they’re opening, and Tiny won’t be able to watch my daughter anymore. She’s hired a nanny who is going to live in my house and take care of my daughter when I’ve got shit going on.
I didn’t want a live-in nanny. I don’t know this person, but according to Chains, he knows this woman will look out for my daughter and not let anything happen to her.
Finally, giving in to the whole thing, I’ve ensured the room over the attached garage is furnished for this woman, I’ve refused to get the name of, to get here and start her job.
I have no intentions of getting to know another woman, and this one will be treated solely as an employee and nothing else.
Not even a friend.
Chapter Two
Rissa
I have to be out of my ever-loving mind to be doing this. Taking a job watching the child of one of the members of the Inferno’s Clutch MC.
After years of being away from Louisiana, I’m finally moving back. It took me months of searching to finally find a job. I found that job being the caregiver of a single dad’s daughter. I didn’t speak to the dad and I don’t know who it is yet, but Tiny, the woman who hired me, is Chains’ woman. She told me about the little girl, and I know her name’s Wren. I didn’t know who this Chains guy was, but he sounded familiar when I spoke to him about the job as well.
Too familiar.
Something about his voice shook me, and he spoke as if he remembered me. God, I’m seriously an idiot for taking this job. But I wanted to come home to the only home I’ve ever known.
No matter the memories, good or bad, they made Louisiana home.
Driving over the state line, I tighten my grip on the steering wheel. My mind goes back to a very happy time in my life before everything turned to shit.
Times were I spent my days with Ike. The one man I’ve loved more than anything but had to let go. Not because I wanted to. No, I did it to protect him. I wanted to keep him from going through hell once again.
God, if he ever knew what I went through for him. Honestly, I don’t know what he would do because I made sure the first chance I got, I called him to make sure he knew I was breaking up with him.
“Rissa, we’re going out for a family day,” my father declares from the kitchen table where he’s eating the breakfast my mother cooked for him.
“What are we doing?” I ask, making my own plate.
Every day from the time I can remember, mother has always made sure to have breakfast ready before father comes into the kitchen.
“You will see when we get there,” he grunts, lifting his coffee to take a sip from a white mug that bears a cross on it with the wording ‘Our Lord and Savior will rise again’.
I know better than to say another word. My parents are strict and always have been. I was lucky enough to be allowed to go to a regular school. It’s where I met Ike. He and I hit it off right from the start.
We spent as much time as we could together, even after my father found out about his family being a part of a motorcycle club. He wanted me to put an end to my relationship. I didn’t do this. I couldn’t.
Ike is everything I’ve wanted and holds my heart in his hands.
I finish my breakfast quickly and head to get dressed. My father and mother are ready to go when I get back to the kitchen.
The three of us walk out to the car. Getting in the back seat on the passenger side, I look to my father as he starts the engine and backs out of the driveway. It’s a balmy day out, and I wish I remembered to call Ike before leaving the house. We had plans for today, but with my parents, he knows they sometimes do this.
Father drives for hours when he finally pulls up at this old country house with nothing around. He puts the car in park and gets out, leaving it running.
Mother and I both follow him. Outside the car, I lick my lips nervously.
What are we doing here?
“It’s time,” my father announces.
“Time for what?” I ask cautiously.
“For you to do as you’re told, or I will send someone after that mongrel you insist on allowing to have your body,” he spits.
Mother stays silent as my father guides us around the back of the house. I slow to a snail’s pace when I see several men standing around the back porch. Where did they come from? I didn’t see any cars parked out front.
“I . . . I don’t understand,” I utter, backing away from all the men stepping forward. My mother grabs hold of my arm and squeezes hard.
“You have not done as you were told, and we allo
wed you to have until you were eighteen to have your fun, now you must do what you were born to do,” she sneers.
Um . . . what?
My father nods and the men jump for me. I’m beaten nearly to death before they throw me into a hole in the ground and throw dirt on top of me.
Oh God, no.
I’m too weak to scream or yell for help.
I struggle to breathe, and it takes me what feels like forever to pull myself from my own grave. By the time I do, it’s dark and no one is around. I lie on the ground and sob.
If they could do this to me, what will they do to Ike if I go back home? No, I have to protect him at all costs. He doesn’t need me in his life, ruining it more.
After that night, I found somewhere to hide long enough for me to heal enough to find somewhere to go. I found a payphone, called Ike, broke it off with him, and ran as far as I could go.
Until recently, when I found out my parents died, and I felt I could finally go home.
I just hope that going home is the right thing to do, especially now. Looking to the passenger seat, a small smile slides into place at the sight of my son, Ike, sitting there with his headphones in. I know I’m supposed to be a live-in nanny, as Tiny stated, but I told her about my son, and she told me I could stay at Ryder’s house he’s got for rent.
I’ve only been lucky twice in my life. One being the day I met Ike ten years ago and then when I found out I was pregnant with Ike’s son.
Coming home, I know, won’t be easy. It definitely won’t be easy when Ike finds out. When he does, I may wish I were back in that grave. I hurt him in the only way I knew possible at the time; however, keeping his son from him is a completely different betrayal. One I hope he can one day forgive me for.
Chapter Three
Tyres
“What did you just say?” I growl, looking to Chains, my fists clenched at my sides.
“I said, the nanny has changed her mind about living at your house. She would prefer to rent a house off the property. So we’re putting her into Ryder’s house since it’s vacant,” Chains states.
“Shouldn’t I have been in on this decision?” I grumble.
“You’ve left the whole thing to Tiny, brother. Besides, this might be for the best,” he says, leaning back in his chair behind his desk.
“What do you mean by that?” I grind out.
“You’ll find out soon enough, brother, what I mean by my words. However, I want you to know one thing, I’m the one who approved of the nanny, and I’m the one who gave the go-ahead. So if you’re going to be pissed, it’ll be at me, no one else.”
Fuck, who the hell did he hire?
Shaking my head, I stand and lift my arms to cup the back of my head with my hands. This shit is frustrating as hell. “If this woman decided to live outside of the house, how am I going to trust her to be able to be at the house when I need her? Or better yet, why did she decide this after I’ve already furnished that damn room.”
“Because, brother, when Tiny first talked to her, she didn’t tell us about her son. She did want the job but not to live in the same house as her boss. Didn’t think it was fair to you.” Chains shrugs.
Inhaling, I do everything I can to calm down. I’ve always been known for my short temper. Since Wren, I’ve been doing everything I can to keep it in check. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments where I do.
Those times though, are never with her around and involve me getting in the ring to beat my frustrations out on some random contender. Pitch Black got me and Fuse both in on the fights at Patton’s warehouse, where he holds underground fights three times a week.
“Just give it a try, brother. She’s from here and has been gone for a long time. This is her chance to come home.” Something about the way he says this rubs me the wrong way.
“Who is she?” I demand.
Instead of answering me, Chains gives me a look I can’t decipher while picking up his phone from the desk as it starts to vibrate across the wood.
“Yeah,” he answers. His eyes come to me, and my gut tightens. “Right, we’re coming out.” Hanging up, he stands, and his gaze never leaving mine. “Wren’s nanny just pulled into the parking area. You can see who she is for yourself, but I’ll give you one piece of advice.”
“And what’s that?” I grumble, not even wanting to do this shit.
“Brace.” With that, he ends the discussion.
What the fuck?
Chains rounds his desk and the two of us, without another word, head out of the clubhouse, walking down the hallway leading to the main room of the club and through the doors into the blazing sunlight.
I pull my sunglasses off the collar of my shirt and slide them into place to block the sun out of my face. My twin, Brake, is already out here, and he seems to be pissed and looking at the car as it comes to a stop.
“Brake,” I call out his name loud enough for him to jerk and look at me. His jaw is clenched, and I go on alert and look to the car. From where I’m standing, I don’t get a clear view of the woman as she parks.
“Remember what I said in the office, brother. She’s been gone a long time and finally got the chance to come back home,” Chains conveys quietly as the door finally opens and she steps out from the driver’s side of the car.
At first, I didn’t recognize her. Not with her hair being different shades of colors, but the moment she turns toward us with her blue eyes. It’s everything I can do to keep from exploding.
“What the fuck?” I roar, turning to Chains to meet his gaze while pointing at Rissa. “What the fuck is she doing here?”
“Brother,” he says warningly.
“Mom.” I turn back to face Rissa at the sound of a boy’s voice. He’s gotten out of the car on the passenger side and rounded the hood to get to his mom. Scanning my gaze over him, I can see he’s got to be nine years old. Definitely can’t be any older. But one look at his face, I know right off the bat, he’s mine. His hair is the same color as mine. He looks just like my brother and me.
I have a son.
A son that’s been kept from me for years.
I need to get out of here.
Fuck.
I need to think.
Turning to Brake, I meet his gaze, then Chains. “I’m out of here. Keep an eye on Wren for me. I can’t do this shit right now,” I snap loudly.
“Wren’s your daughter?” Rissa gasps, speaking for the first time.
Turning my heated eyes on the woman who used to be the girl that held my heart, I say, “Yeah, she’s my fuckin’ daughter. Not that it’s any of your fuckin’ business, bitch.”
“You can’t talk to my mom like that,” the kid says. My eyes go to him, then back to Rissa.
“He know?” I sneer, casting all my hatred for her in my eyes, but don’t give her a chance to answer. “Doesn’t matter. Should have known from the beginning that you were just like every other bitch there is. Out for one thing and one thing only.”
With that, I storm away from everyone and head for my bike. I’m straddling my bike as I hear the boy speak again. “I thought he would want me, Mom.” His words are broken, and they gut me. I start my bike.
This shit building anger and rage I’ve been living with slowly simmered inside me for years. Seeing Rissa again is making it rise to boiling points.
With one last look at the boy and Rissa, I don’t miss the tears streaming down her face. Or the scars on her neck and cheek. I hit the throttle, kicking up rocks as I go.
I can’t talk to her or anyone else right now. Not until I get my head straight.
Yeah, I’ve wanted to know why she up and decided to spew her bullshit when she broke up with me ten years ago, but I didn’t think I’d have the chance.
“Remember what I said in the office, brother. She’s been gone a long time and finally got the chance to come back home.” Chains’ words fill my head and scream at me.
Did she have a reason for not telling me about my son?
Doe
sn’t matter if she does. There’s no excuse good enough for keeping the boy from me.
Shaking my head, I squeeze the throttle and hit the curves of the road faster than I should, but I need this at the moment to block out the visions of Rissa in my head. Images that want to work their way through the binds I’ve kept them in. Her smiling face. Her beautiful voice. The way she moaned underneath me when I fucked her.
Fuck, when the hell is my life ever gonna get easier?
Chapter Four
Rissa
“Mom?” Ike murmurs, getting my attention as I continue to stare in the direction his father went.
“Yeah, baby,” I say, finally looking down at mine and Ike’s son, feeling the eyes of others on us.
“Are you sure he wants me, Mom?” Ike asks.
“Ike, sweetheart, you’re named after him because I know without a doubt that even though he’s upset right now, he’ll love you,” I state, cupping the side of his face.
“Ike?” Jax’s voice fills my ears as he repeats my son’s name.
Taking a deep breath, I steel myself for what’s coming my way. Ike looks to Jax then back to me. “Is that Uncle Jax?” my son asks.
Jax steps forward and kneels in front of my son. “What’s up, dude? I’m Uncle Brake, not Jax. Haven’t gone by that name in years,” he says, grinning.
“Brake? Why do they call you that?” Ike asks.
“Because, they’re always telling me to hit the brakes before I end up dead,” Brake chuckles.
Ike looks from Brake over to the row of bikes. “Which ones yours? Does it look like my dad’s?”
Brake lifts his gaze from my son to look at me, then back to Ike and points to the fifth one parked in a line of bikes. “That one’s mine, and I gotta say it’s a hell of a lot better than your dad’s but don’t tell him that he’ll try and punch me for saying that shit. Go ahead and go take a look while I talk to your mom.”