“Aspen,” he repeated. My name never sounded so beautiful. He leaned in as if he wanted to do more than whisper my name. In his eyes, there was a battle raging. His lips parted and acted as if they were unsure what they should do, touch my own or speak. I held my breath, not certain which I hoped for.
With great reluctance he pulled away, yet he kept ahold of his jacket, keeping me close enough to stir long forgotten desires.
“I don’t know the ins and outs of your life,” he spoke low. “I hope someday we will become good enough friends that you trust me enough to tell me. But this I know; I’ve never met a lovelier woman. You deserve as much as anyone to stand under the pergola. I hope someday you find a man worthy of the honor and you.” He let go of me as abruptly as he had pulled me to him and strode off, leaving me to stare at him and rub my heart he had pricked in the most pleasant way.
~*~
Tuckered out from his adventures on the Ranch, Henry fell asleep in the car on the way back into town where we would be stopping at a local children’s boutique for his first pair of trousers. I glanced in the rearview mirror while I drove to catch a glimpse of my young charge with cookie crumbs on his sweater. His full lips and rosy cheeks made him look like an angel.
Miles sat in the passenger seat. He’d asked if I could drive so he could make notes in his notepad And I think he hated driving on the wrong side of the road, as he called it. He was writing furiously next to me. I was happy the tour was as meaningful for him as it had been for me. I wasn’t sure what to do with my epiphany, but I knew something had to be done. I mean, how do you go about discovering, or perhaps creating is a better word, emotional intimacy with the opposite sex? Obviously, it would mean I would have to choose someone to try it with. But how would I know who to choose? I wasn’t good at picking men. Then there was the question of if an emotionally intimate relationship had to involve a physical one? Could I perhaps be emotionally intimate with a friend? My boss? That was probably a bad idea, right?
“What do you think of Isabella and Dexter staying at the cabin in Shannon’s Meadow?” Miles asked out of the blue. “Obviously, I would have to think of a different name, but I like the privacy of it, and the pond and meadow would make for some good love scenes, don’t you think?”
According to Emma and Shelby, the meadow had seen plenty of love scenes, but that was talk amongst girlfriends, not for Miles’s ears. I wondered, though, if I should mention to Miles that while he was an amazing writer, his love scenes were lackluster. It wasn’t like I was looking for them to be erotic, but he could add more sizzle, or at least more tension. I decided to hold off since he was just coming out of a funk. Instead, I agreed with him. “I like that. I can picture Isabella walking among the tall grass and wildflowers that bloom abundantly in the summer.”
Miles tapped his pen against the notepad. “Me as well. I think it would remind her of home.”
“And her father,” I added.
“Yes. Perhaps it would be cathartic for her.”
“I think so,” I agreed. It was so weird to be talking about Isabella like she was a real person.
“I will also use the small cemetery as a way to introduce clues about Dexter’s family and involvement.”
“And what would those be?” I asked nonchalantly.
Miles wasn’t falling for it. “You will have to read those. I’m not going to spoil everything for you.”
“I could just read them on the whiteboard,” I goaded him.
Miles held up his leather-bound pad. “This will be my outline this time. Isabella reminded me today that I know her story and I should trust my instincts. And . . . that she believes in me. Thank you for that reminder.”
I turned onto Main Street in downtown Carrington Cove. “I’m glad I could help. Now hurry up and finish this book.”
His laughter filled the car. “It does take time, even when the story wants to write itself.”
“Okay, fine. Let’s go get Henry in touch with his American side and buy him some pants.”
“Trousers, darling.”
I pulled into the only empty spot in front of Tykes and Dolls, a place I could have never afforded to buy Chloe clothes when she was younger, but my mom had bought several things here for her that I adored. “Fine, trousers,” I conceded.
“I’ll have you speaking properly before you know it.” Miles exited the car, gloating.
I met him around the back to get Henry’s stroller out. Little man was still napping.
Miles had no sooner opened the hatch when the most unpleasant sight hit me from across the street. Leland was walking out of Two Girls and a Guy with Kylie Robison. She went to high school with us and was a girl Leland frequently chose over me even after we were married. I grabbed onto Miles’s arm, hardly able to breathe, shaking where I stood. What was Leland doing back so soon, and wasn’t he married? Not like that ever mattered to him, but I had hoped he’d matured for Chloe’s sake.
Miles wasn’t sure what to make of my physical contact. The apprehension on his face was apparent.
“My ex-husband,” I whispered, “is across the street.” I put Miles’s mind at ease that I wasn’t trying to romantically entangle myself with him. I only needed the support before my knees buckled and I collapsed. I couldn’t believe Leland had actually come back. And there he was once again being himself, rubbing in my face that Kylie was worth coming back for, but never me or his daughter.
Miles looked in the direction my eyes were dead fixed on. “The man in the denim jacket?”
I nodded. That was him all right, dressing as if he had never grown up. Still wearing his Brad Pitt do from 2003 with spiked hair on the top, cut short on the sides.
Miles placed his hand over mine gripping his arm like a vice. “I thought he didn’t live here.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “He called me last week to say he was moving back to Colorado, but I didn’t believe him.”
Miles and I watched as Kylie stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear before she kissed him. And like the douche bag he was, he kissed her back. My heart broke for his wife and baby daughter, for my daughter who had such a father.
“Who’s the woman?” Miles asked.
“A girl we went to high school together with. His favorite bimbo. The jerk is married to another woman.”
“Let’s go home, love,” Miles suggested, but it was too late. Leland saw me. Not only Leland, but Kylie, who wasted no time taking off. She always did anytime she saw me. We didn’t run into each other often as she had gotten married and moved away several years ago, but her parents still lived here. Was she still married too?
Leland, with no shame at all, crossed the street and headed our way.
I wiped my eyes with one hand and gripped Miles’s arm tighter with the other.
“Steady, love,” Miles whispered. “Do you want me to tell the wanker to sod off?”
The thought gave me some pleasure. “I’ll let you know.”
Miles gently caressed my hand. If I wasn’t so upset, I probably would have pulled away, it felt so nice. Like a nice I had never known before. Like the kind of nice you shouldn’t have with your boss.
Leland, unfortunately, made it across the street. I was hoping he would have gotten hit by a car. If only I was so lucky.
He strutted up to us like he was still the most popular boy in school. To my delight, he was paunchy around the middle and his tight jawline was looking a little saggy. All that drinking finally caught up to him. Leland’s confidence took a plunge when he got nearer and came face to face with Miles, who, on the other hand, took great care of himself and looked fabulous at forty.
Leland sized him up before zeroing in on the iron grip I had on my boss. “Aspen, I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I could say the same. I thought you weren’t coming until next week.” Or ever.
“Change of plans,” he said ever so smugly.
Probably more like his wife kicked his butt out, or Kylie called and he
came running.
“Who’s this?” Leland flicked his head toward Miles. He had no manners at all. “I didn’t know you were with anyone.”
“I’m—”
“The name is Miles Wickham,” Miles interrupted me before I could tell Leland that he was my boss. Though we didn’t really look professional at the moment.
“English,” Leland sneered. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Careful,” Miles warned.
Leland, who was a bit shorter than Miles, looked up at Miles with his cocky attitude that said what are you going to do about it?
Miles wasn’t intimidated at all. “Aspen and I have places to be, so state your business and move on.”
Leland wasn’t used to being pushed back. I reveled in watching his face redden and him taking a step back. Unfortunately, that meant his sights were back on me. “I want to see Chloe.”
“Where’s your wife and daughter?” I asked.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Actually, it is. How long are you going to be in town?”
“For a while, so get used to it. I’m crashing at Mike’s in Edenvale.”
“Chloe will never be allowed to go there.” My skin crawled at the thought.
“You can’t keep me from her.”
“Probably not forever, but until you can prove to me that you aren’t the same man who left her and didn’t bother to contact her for years, I will do just that.” I shook my head, disgusted at him. “But I don’t see that happening. After all this time, you’re still sneaking around with Kylie and cheating on your wife and little girl,” I choked out.
“What the hell do you know?” Leland spat.
Miles stepped in between Leland and me. “It’s time for you to go.”
Leland’s fists clenched, but they remained by his sides. “I’ll be calling you, Aspen,” he hissed my name. “You can’t hide behind your boyfriend forever.”
I stepped around Miles and faced the jerk. “I’ve never been the one to run and hide. That’s your job. And not that it’s any of your business, but Miles isn’t my boyfriend.” I turned toward Miles who was taking a protective stance. “He’s my b—”
Miles’s eyes pleaded with me not to say boss. I wasn’t sure why it was so important to him, but this weird sensation came over me and I found myself not wanting to disappoint him. “Friend,” I whispered at first. I stood a little taller and owned it. “I mean, friend.”
For that I got a warm smile from Miles.
“Right,” Leland sneered. “I’ll leave you to your friend.”
As soon as Leland walked off, the adrenaline coursing through me drained out of me. I was back to shaking and tears. This time, though, I found myself in my friend’s arms. Miles wrapped me up so quickly I didn’t have time to react or reject the gesture. I stood stunned for several seconds. I hadn’t been in a man’s arms other than my father’s or Brad’s in a long, long time.
Miles wasn’t deterred by my stiff posture. He ran his hand down my hair. “I’m here for you,” he whispered.
I believed him and sank into him. Um . . . oh . . . wow, did it ever feel nice.
Chapter Twenty
“Can I ask you something?” Miles whispered across the bed from Henry who was out like a light after only one bedtime story. I should take the kid to the Ranch every day.
“Sure?” I whispered back.
“Why did you feel the need to tell your wanker ex we weren’t a couple? We could have had some fun with that. Used it to your advantage.”
I sank down on my knees and thought about what to say. As far as Leland knew, I worked for Taron Taylor, not Miles Wickham. For a split second, the abandoned young woman in me wanted Leland to think I had moved on to much greener pastures. I wanted Leland to think I was wanted. But I didn’t want to be ruled by that abandoned girl anymore. “I don’t ever want another pretend relationship. I felt like that was all my marriage was. If I decide to be in a relationship again, I want it to be all real.”
Miles lowered his head. “You deserve that and more,” he sounded melancholy.
“I’m not even sure I’m brave enough to attempt one again.”
Miles lifted his head. “But you’re open to the idea?”
I stood up and tiptoed toward the door. “I don’t know about that. Right now, all I can think about is that I have to go tell my daughter that her sperm donor is back in town.”
Miles met me at the door. “I don’t envy you that task.”
We stood at the door together, staring at one another awkwardly like we had just been on a first date and were saying goodbye, like we wanted to keep the conversation going but didn’t know what else to say.
“Well . . . good night.” I stared down at my black ballet flats. “I hope you get in some good writing.”
“Aspen.”
I tilted my head up and met his gorgeous eyes.
“Thank you for today. And I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable leading your ex to think we were more than we can be. I was out of my head. I haven’t been that riled in a long time.”
I noted his language, more than we can be. “I appreciate what you tried to do. And I enjoyed helping you today.”
“I look forward to many more days like it.”
“Will we be going on more field trips?” I hoped the answer was yes.
“Count on it, love. Good night.”
“Good night.” I watched him walk down the hall. Something felt different. Maybe it was me.
On my way downstairs, my phone buzzed. I answered when I entered the mud room that had an exterior door which allowed easy access to the path that led to the cottage.
“Hey, Emma.”
“Hey there yourself. How was your day?” She was fishing for some juicy details. She knew full well I was at the Ranch with Miles. I’d called her first to see if her dad would mind.
“It was interesting.”
“Oh, come on, I heard it was more than that. My dad said the two of you were awfully cozy together and he could sense a spark between you.”
My first instinct was to say there wasn’t, but that wasn’t true. “Even if there was, nothing is going to happen.”
“So you are admitting to sparks between you two?”
“We’re friends.”
“I used to say that about Sawyer and me, remember?”
I sat down on the upholstered bench and kept my voice down. “Yeah, well you didn’t sign a contract agreeing to no romantic entanglements, and we all tried to tell you Sawyer was into you.”
“True, but contracts can be amended.”
“That’s not going to happen. Miles has made that very clear. Besides I had this weird epiphany thing happen to me today and I’m not really sure what to do about it.”
“What is it? Are you okay?”
“I think so, but I’m not going to lie, I’m a little freaked about it.”
“Do you want to talk?”
“It’s kind of embarrassing and I don’t even know how to say it.”
“It’s me, Aspen, you’ve seen me in panda pajamas and burping the alphabet. And let’s not forget half naked in a vat of slime singing to the Spice Girls. It doesn’t get more embarrassing than that.”
She had me laughing, remembering some good times. “All right. While we were doing some research on the Ranch today—which, by the way, this book is going to be killer good, but I can’t tell you about it. Anyway, it struck me today that I’ve never been emotionally intimate with someone of the opposite sex. And worse, I don’t think I know how.”
Emma was awfully silent on her end, which had me pulling up my knees, feeling stupid for sharing so much of myself.
“I’m just being dumb,” I tried to play it off.
“Not at all. I’m just trying to figure what to say. I think you may be on to something regarding the first thing you said, but I do think you know how to, you’re just too afraid to try because everyone is afraid of the unknown. The question is, do you wan
t to try?”
I rested my head on my knees. “Maybe.”
“With Miles?”
“Can you be emotionally intimate with a man and remain only friends?”
“I suppose it’s possible, but . . .”
“But what?”
“If there is a spark there, I can imagine that will get difficult. What brought about this change? I thought you were upset with him?”
“I was, but he apologized, like sincerely apologized. What’s more, he’s trying to be better. And he cares about what I think. Maybe it won’t last and I’m just being foolish like always where men are concerned.”
“Aspen, you can’t think like that. If you want to be emotionally intimate with someone, you have to trust them until they give you reasons not to. Maybe Miles is the real deal. As your boss, he had no reason to apologize to you.”
“He’s the first boss who has treated me like an equal. Actually, he treats me like I’m better than he is.”
“That’s because you are.”
“Thanks, friend. How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m pregnant with twins, but the doctor told me to take B6 and Unisom at night and it’s given me some relief. At least I’m down to puking only a couple of times a day.”
“I’m sorry this has been so rough on you.”
“It’s worth it. It’s kind of like your situation. You have to go through all the pukey stuff knowing eventually you are going to get what you always hoped for. In my case, two beautiful babies. In yours, you will finally get to know the joy of real love. Whether that is with Miles or someone else. But if you feel like it’s Miles and you’re supposed to give it a chance, don’t let that stupid piece of paper get in your way.”
“It’s a very important piece of paper and my livelihood. And it’s more than the paper; he said he wished the circumstances were different and he was different.”
“What does that mean?”
My Not So Wicked Boss (My Not So Wicked Series Book 3) Page 14