Facing Redemption

by Kimberly McKay

  Facing Redemption

  Acclaim for Facing Redemption

  In Facing Redemption, Kimberly McKay, in her accomplished and heartfelt sequel to Finding Kylie, answers the difficult questions of whether or not a person can sincerely change when they know they have done something terrible; whether those who have been wronged can forgive on behalf of those who cannot; whether sins committed in the ignorance and arrogance of youth be atoned in adulthood.

  Through a thought provoking, yet engaging and accessible narrative, Kimberly McKay's well-realized and grounded characters take the reader on an incredible journey of hopelessness and faith, deception and truth, transgression and redemption - but most of all ... family and love.

  John Schwab, film producer and actor

  Facing Redemption

  by

  Kimberly McKay

  Facing Redemption

  Copyright 2012 Kimberly McKay

  All rights reserved. No part of this book my be reproduced or transmitted in any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the publisher or author, except for the inclusion of brief quotation in a review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to places, events, or persons living or deceased is purely coincidental.

  ISBN: 978-1477635551

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 First Edition

  First Printing, September 2012

  Printed in the United States of America

  Dedication

  I dedicate this book to my husband and son, who love me no matter what. When I am in the zone and ‘have’ to write, they allow me the space and understanding to get it done. I’m blessed to have such a loving family.

  And to those of you, who encouraged me through the first book, thank you to all my readers, who left me wonderful messages about how much they sympathized with the characters from Finding Kylie. You kept me going and encouraged.

  God is always my rock and with that being said, I thank him over anything or anyone else for carrying me through trials in my life and blessing me with abundance. As a rape survivor, I wrote Finding Kylie to share with victims everywhere that you CAN live the life of a survivor. Many women and men alike responded, and God used that story to not only encourage others but he blessed me with the results as well. God is always good…all the time. I’m living proof of that and would encourage you to see how that applies in your life. Count your blessings and give praise to the One who is always there to lift us up.

  Thank you for reading Facing Redemption. I feel we’ve all made mistakes in our life and no matter how low we’ve sunk or how much we’ve hurt others or ourselves, forgiveness and redemption is waiting for all of us. We just have to ask.

  Acknowledgements

  Thank you to my mom for listening for endless moments in time on the phone, as I would read chapter by chapter in efforts to make sure the storyline stayed on point. I know you probably had better things to do than listen to your daughter ramble on.

  Thank you to John Schwab for encouraging me to write and continue my craft. Thanks for partnering with me, in writing the screenplay, for ‘Finding Kylie’, and working so hard when I know you have a crazy schedule of your own. Thanks for endless hours on Skype and trying to fit in my time zone, when London holds so many projects and numerous responsibilities for you.

  Thanks to Melissa Richey for lending me her PR talents and putting time and effort into both Finding Kylie and Facing Redemption. She’s a working mom, with a full time job and still took the time to write press releases and think outside the box for marketing purposes. Thanks for your dedication.

  And a big thank you goes out to Susan Titus, who is took the time to edit this story. I’m grateful for not only your talents, but also your friendship. I’m honored to call you a friend.

  Thanks to Rick Buchanan, one of my photographer mentors, for helping me craft my cover with your talent. You did a great job.

  Thank you to Rian Smoak, who dedicated his time and energy to pose for the cover. Rian is a longtime friend from college, who has always kind and thoughtful. Thanks for helping me out and making the cover what it is.

  And finally, thanks to Sara Treadwell and Lourdes Faberes for sharing their Venice experiences so that I may have more than a birds eye view into this amazing culture.

  Epilogue

  It was the forbidden fruit. He knew it was to be seen and not touched or eaten, but couldn’t keep his hand from reaching out for it. His fingers quivered slightly before he wrapped them around the ripe fruit.

  The peel was smooth… so smooth he wanted to rub it on his lips before biting. As he lifted the fruit up to his mouth, it bruised before his eyes and quickly spilled its seeds into his hand.

  Hives instantly broke out on his fingers and quickly began traveling up his arm. The dark juice stained his skin, causing welts and burns, which were now rapidly spreading and wrapping around his neck. Suddenly his airways constricted, leaving him with no air. His lungs were screaming to breathe.

  I need air… somebody help me. All went black before he could even scream.

  Gasping and drenched with sweat, John Mikale shot up out of bed with the same dream that had haunted him his whole adult life. Desperately dragging air into his lungs, he tried to calm his heart rate and even out his breathing.

  Closing his eyes and pushing out a deep gust of air, John shook off the remaining sensations from his dream. How long is this going to haunt me? He looked next to him and noticed that his wife was still sound asleep, her breathing slow and even.

  He loved watching her in the bewitching hours, as she dreamt sweetly through the night. John envied her actually. She had no secrets that haunted her. She had no past to shed … no past that would destroy or interrupt her sleep.

  John Mikale was a man haunted by his actions, and though in the process of trying to get help, it seemed he was never going to shake this dream that left him feeling like the life was being choked from him night after night.

  If only his problems stopped short of horrid nightmares, he could make it. Unfortunately the guilt associated with his dreams taunted him long after he awoke, and this was enough to keep sleep at bay for the rest of the night. Night after night it was always the same.

  John reached out to gently stroke his wife’s face, but hesitated short of touching her skin.

  You don’t deserve her. You’re never going to be good enough for her.

  Instead he lay back down and wrapped his arms around her, trying to soak in her goodness, as if by osmosis. Sleep couldn’t come quick enough to rid him of his self-loathing thoughts.

  Chapter 1

  August 1984

  Westburn, Virginia

  “Wake up Maggot!”

  John rolled over begrudgingly, prying open his eyes. Complete darkness greeted him as his bed shook. The barrack windows, normally letting moonlight flood in, had blankets taped over them, which let no light in from the outside world.

  “What the hell?” John exclaimed, as he was pulled from his cot. All he felt were two sets of strong arms pulling him up at each side.

  In the five days of basic training he’d received, it had been the same treatment each night.

  “Time for PT maggot! It’s O-four hundred hours … you should know the drill by now!”

  A flashlight popped on, shining brightly in his eyes. John defensively put up his hand to shield them.

  “Really? Is this necessary guys?” John grumbled irritably. Silently swearing, he promised himself that once he got through this he’d find each one of his comrades at a vulnerable spo
t and kick the living daylights out of them.

  The problem was his reputation preceded him. He was a Mikale – born and bred with money. Rich boys didn’t fare well in these halls, especially when daddy paid a handsome fee to get his son ‘in quickly’ while all the others all worked their way in on grades and merit. He knew this was his penance for all of the above.

  “You can’t call daddy now maggot!” The voice barked in darkness. “You’re mine now. I’m your daddy and I’m telling you … to get your ass up and starting running!”

  “Yes Sgt. Baker,” John mumbled.

  “That’s ‘yes sir’ to you!” Sgt. Baker yelled as he leaned in toward John’s ear.

  John voluntarily got up before his Sergeant’s lackey troops could push him from the room.

  “You better outrun us this time!” One of the troops snickered. “Or you’ll end up at the punisher by dawn.”

  “What’s the punisher?” John yelled over his shoulder as he ran.

  “Oh you don’t want to know rich boy!”

  All John could hear was laughter from behind as he broke into the early morning darkness. And anger faded as the realization set in. This was more than penance for being a Mikale … this was penance for what he did to Kylie. And deep down, he knew he deserved it. This was his punishment.

  Chapter 2

  As a child, John was content being alone. He didn’t know any different. The fact that his father and brother kept their distance didn’t really affect him, until later in life when he was old enough to understand what the whispers were about.

  The hushed tones started in pre-school. John noticed but didn’t really understand why they whispered. Once he started lower school, he started listening…straining to hear what they’d say. He pretended to play in the sandbox. They didn’t think he heard them, but he did. And then he finally understood why both his brother and father made no room for them in their life. In that one instant, one sentence is all it took to shift his world from one of imagination and play to one of cold harsh truth.

  They say his mother died while giving birth to him.

  This is what rang through his little mind for years to come. That whispered truth unraveled him from the inside out for the rest of his life.

  In the early years, not knowing his mother didn’t make too much of a difference. He had Ms. Adams, their family housekeeper and nanny. She quickly filled that void with her nurturing spirit and motherly love.

  When Mr. Mikale would look down at him with those disappointed eyes, he would quickly look to Ms. Adams and see a loving pair to look up into. Her arms and love were his center. In the early years she was more than enough. She was all he knew.

  However once John grew and matured, everything changed. When he was old enough to do what came natural by showing his independence and testing boundaries, his father’s retribution starting raining down around him. Young John realized he was living in a controlled bubble where at any second if he did anything wrong – that bubble would burst leaving all hell to rain down on him.

  Jackson Mikale ran his home like boot camp, where everything had a place and the boys, he and his brother, Jesse, were to be seen not heard. No matter how much adoration and loving support Ms. Adams showed, it just wasn’t enough to fill the vast void that increasingly grew over time in John’s heart.

  As a teen he rebelled against it all. Since he knew his father wouldn’t ever show him affection, he knew he could count on his anger. Any kind of trouble was welcomed, and the more John could cause the more he felt some sort of twisted satisfaction that he could get a rise out of his father. The amass of late nights, parties, and young girls were the sort of comfort he craved.

  As a member of one of the richest families in the Midwest and being the star quarterback, John’s good looks and notoriety cemented his role in school. He quickly fell into life in the fast lane, and finally felt fulfilled.

  To John, girls were a commodity … a game. So when an innocent awkward girl, like Kylie Wayne, secretly crushed on him, he wasn’t surprised. After all, they all wanted him.

  Kylie was his most fun game. How many times will she try to accidentally bump into me today, he’d ask himself while getting ready for school.

  What will I do to ignore her today? He laughed to himself. He thought of himself as a god, playing with her emotions. It gave him a secret surge of sexual pleasure to be openly wanted, while completely pretending he saw none of it. However after years of the expected: toying with the shy Kylie – the game changed.

  Awkward young Kylie started burgeoning into a swan. It was as if a magical web spun around her during the summer between their junior and senior high school.

  Kylie was now gaining the attention of his buddies, who were openly discussing her transformation with awe. She went from being a shy, young kid, to being a sexy, shy woman, unaware of her power. This was something John could not turn away from. The jealousy he felt in hearing his friends talk tore at his gut. She was after all - his!

  Night after night Kylie haunted his dreams, toying and teasing him. She now had the power and was in control. He awoke knowing he couldn’t wait any longer.

  That fated day, John stepped into homeroom with the intention of showing Kylie just how sexy she could be. He wanted to introduce her to the world of John Mikale, and all the pleasure that came with it. He knew she’d say yes when he asked her out. It was, after all, what she’d been dreaming about since junior high.

  After dinner, John drove Kylie to his home. They sat on the pools edge slowly bantering - both knowing what was to come next. His father was gone for the night, so they had the entire place to themselves. Smiling to himself, he was expectant of what was to come. It felt as if his insides were humming.

  John slowly swung his legs over the edge of the pool, and let them drag through the water. He let them rub against Kylie’s well-formed calves. As the water rippled in effect, it shattered the reflection of the night sky.

  John dragged his eyes up toward Kylie. The full moon illuminated her face giving her an almost ethereal glow. Her dark eyes beckoned, begging him to kiss her. He carefully leaned in; preparing to give her a taste of what kissing could be like. He knew he’d be her first on many levels.

  Kylie was an innocent with little to no experience, so he slowly made his moves, grooming her for his motives. John fully expected to be introduced to firm lips … ones that had never been kissed, but was pleasantly greeted by soft eager ones. Kylie not only was ready for his teaching, but also seemed to engage in the game by passionately kissing him back – it was almost too good to be true.

  “Let’s get more comfortable,” John stood, extending his hand and looking down into Kylie’s trusting eyes. She reached for him, and allowed herself to be pulled up from the pool. Kylie giggled as John pulled her closer.

  Within seconds, the full moon was covered as clouds rolled through what had been a clear night’s sky. Dark shadows rolled across their path as John pulled her into him, walking backwards toward the patio. He stumbled in the dark and almost fell.

  “I need you to help me see.” He laughed and pulled her close for another kiss.

  Kylie wrapped her arms around John as they half kissed – half walked down the path. John’s groin was already tight, ready to play the game. Her mouth was willing and he wondered if the rest of her would be too.

  Once they reached the patio loungers, John fell on top Kylie and began to kiss her roughly. Finally, Kylie’s intuition kicked in. This wasn’t what she thought getting comfortable should be. She tried to get some distance by pushing him away, but he was too strong. She felt his firm grip and anxiety set in.

  “Wait,” she muffled as he bruised her lips. “What are you doing?”

  “Come on, you know you want it.” He replied, roughly kissing her neck. His fingers were nimbly working the button of her white shorts. She wore these shorts to look cute for her first date. She did not wear them to be worked off of her.

  “Want what?” Kylie panicked. �
�Stop!”

  “Please Kylie. You’re killing me!” John paused. He felt as if he was going to explode and couldn’t take one more second of agony. He slowed down enough to look her pleadingly in the eyes. He saw her panicked eyes turn to questioning ones.

  “John, if I don’t do this I’ll lose you, the boy I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember.”

  “You do want me,” he smiled, eyes gleaming. Although entertaining her thoughts, he still never left his position on top of her.

  “But if I do this, I’ll lose myself. What kind of choice is that to make?” Kylie asked, trying to reason with him. She pushed him away as hard as she could.

  In an instant something inside him clicked. How did she get to be the one in control? Why does she get to tell me what I can and can’t have?

  In an instant he went from wanting her to being tired of being controlled … by his father and now by her.

  In an instant he turned from the reckless kid, with less than honorable intentions, into the monster he was to become.

  Chapter 3

  Present day

  Silver Lake, California

  Chastity breathed in, taking in the scents of cardboard and Clorox. The familiar smell permeated the room, which took her back to when she was young and on the verge of becoming an expert packer.

  As a child, her mother kept them on the move every few years, at first as an occupational hazard. Her mother, Kylie, was a restaurant trainer and opened new chains every couple of years. But later they moved on - and quickly, because they were on the run from the Mikales, a notoriously rich family in the Midwest.