Facing Redemption

by Kimberly McKay

  “You thought wrong!” She shoved the present back toward him.

  “Anne, I was stupid.”

  “Really?”

  “Take this. I love you and I want you to have it.” He gently pushed the gift back.

  “What is it? Is it a gift from the heart or a gift out of guilt?”

  “Well - both.”

  “Well I would have accepted a gift from the heart … a while back. And as far as the second, a gift out of guilt … it’s too late! Leave me alone.” Anne stood up. She turned her back on Brent trying to get the courage to walk away.

  “Anne wait! You don’t want to do this.” He urged and tried to reach for her.

  She turned and took a step back, staying out of reach. “You’re right I don’t. But I won’t be with someone who didn’t want just me either. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t just give me gifts from the heart.”

  She took a deep breath and turned to walk out. Brent quickly circled the counter to stop her but ran into Jim.

  “You heard her.” Jim said looking down to Brent. Jim must have had six inches and fifty pounds on Brent. “She said leave her alone.”

  “Stay out of this Jim. It’s between me and her.”

  “It’s between me and you now. You really want to start that battle?”

  Anne heard Jim’s gruff tone from the kitchen and almost giggled, if it weren’t for the fact that she was crying too hard to do so. She also heard the sound of Brent’s feet walking out the door and the door slamming behind him. This made her cry even harder.

  The next thing she felt were strong arms circling around her. Jim lifted her up and set her on the couch in the back office.

  “I put up the closed sign at the door. You should take the whole day.”

  “But there’s the lunch rush to clean up after,” she blurted between tears.

  “No. There is only you to take care of. My wife and I can take care of clean up. You get yourself cleaned up. Just go home and take care of you.”

  Anne looked up with grateful eyes. Although his face was blurry as tears continued to flow, she knew he was smiling down with pity. She hated to be pitied.

  She sat up, dried her eyes, and drew in a breath. “I’m fine. Let’s do this. I will get this cleaned up.”

  “Anne.” Jim protested.

  “No, I’ve left you in a lurch for days and you were shorthanded today. And for what? Brent? No! I’m cleaning up.” Anne said while picking up the remaining glasses from the counter and walked to the kitchen. “Then I’ll call Chastity and have me time.” Anne lied.

  “Okay,” he resigned. “You’re the boss.”

  “Then get to work.” She said almost too harshly and instantly felt bad for it, but Jim knew she wasn’t being hard on him. He knew the only person Anne was trying to beat up at the moment was herself.

  Anne felt like such a fool to have trusted Brent. And on top of that, she’d been avoiding calling Chastity to divulge her pain. There was too much to tell Chastity and she wasn’t sure how to do it.

  Jim left her to clean the back of the restaurant while he picked up the front.

  “And Jim?” She yelled from back.

  “Yes.”

  Anne peeked her head out from the kitchen. “Thank you.”

  He smiled in return and started gathering dishes.

  Chapter 22

  Jesse watched his wife and son walk hand-in-hand, down the driveway from his window. Lauri put him in a friend’s car and sent Alex off for a sleepover. It wasn’t often they had alone time together, and now he’d have the night alone with his wife.

  This usually was a time to relax and enjoy each other’s company. On a normal Friday evening they’d go to dinner, maybe a movie, and then come home for a glass of wine. Tonight though, he wasn’t able to concentrate on lighthearted banter with Lauri. He wasn’t even looking forward to a night out.

  As Alex drove off with his best friend’s family, Jesse let the curtain slide back into place. His eyes diverted to the stack of letters on the table next to his recliner. Over the last few days, he’d been reading them one by one. And now the attention he should be paying to his wife tonight would be spent pondering over what was revealed in the letters before him.

  Jesse sat down and reached for the stack. He pulled at the rubber band he’d carefully placed back around the envelopes, and started to tug it off.

  “Again?” Lauri gently asked as she slipped in unnoticed.

  Jesse looked up with regret. “I know we should be getting ready to go out tonight.”

  “It’s our regular date night. And Chastity’s in town too.” She sadly smiled but still held understanding in her eyes. “But I know you wouldn’t keep very good company tonight.” Lauri tried to lighten the mood.

  Jesse wasn’t sure he should be mad at his brother for getting to him through the letters or angry at himself for not getting in touch with his brother long before the letters.

  “Want to talk?” She slowly sat down on the arm of Jesse’s chair.

  He slid his arm around her and pulled her on his lap. In an effort to take his mind off his brother, he drew his wife into an embrace.

  Lauri kissed him back with equal fervor but slowly drew back. She took his face in hers and pulled his head to her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too. I’m sorry I’ve not been with it for the last few days.”

  Lauri chuckled. “The last few days?”

  He smiled and looked back up into her eyes. She was everything to him.

  “You just let me know what you need.” She reassured him.

  “I need to understand my brother. I thought I had him pegged, but these letters have turned everything upside down. And now … I don’t know.” He sighed and leaned his head back.

  “You’re afraid to trust what’s in them because it may make him human and worth forgiving?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re also angry. You want to be angry at him and these letters have maybe stolen that right away from you a bit?”

  “Yes! Have you read them?” Jesse asked confused.

  “No.”

  “Then how do you know?”

  “I can read you.” Lauri said standing up. “For years all I’ve heard is how your brother has never been accountable for anything … how he always got away with everything … how your father favored him.”

  Jesse leapt up and started pacing the floor, while Lauri settled into his chair.

  “I know the anger you’ve held for him, and how unhealthy that’s been for you. I know you lump your dad and brother together and hold them accountable for everything they ought to be punished for.”

  “No, I never thought they should be punished. Well John, as of recent discovery for what he did to Kylie – Yes! But I never needed them to suffer for anything.”

  Lauri knew to tread lightly. She put her hands out to stop his pacing and lead him back to sit down. She snuggled back into his lap.

  “I know you would never want them to suffer. But you’ve suffered in silence all these years … from the abandonment that was caused by your mother’s death, and then by your father’s withdrawal and rapid change. And by your brother’s need for attention and constant trouble making.”

  Jesse’s eyes welled up, but Lauri continued, “Honey, you’re a strong man. No one can take that away from you. But it takes a stronger man to forgive. It is not your place to hold all this anger … it will eat away at you. It already has. If these letters can provide some insight to your brother’s condition than maybe it’s a way for you to let go of some of that.” She drew his face into her hands and stared into his troubled eyes. “Maybe you need to.”

  “I don’t know Lauri. After what he did to Kylie?”

  “I agree that raping Kylie was the worst of the worst, but maybe he’s been punishing himself all these years. What do the letters say? Do you mind me asking?”

  Jesse sighed, dragging his hand thr
ough his hair. He picked up the stack again. “I could read them to you?”

  “No you don’t have to. Just talk to me. Tell me an overview.”

  “They are to Chastity of course, and so I felt like I was prying at first. But she was very agreeable to my reading them. I started with just one, but then I was too hooked not to read the rest.”

  “Okay?”

  “The letters basically go through John’s life since Kylie. John seems to truly regret the decision that night. He doesn’t ask for forgiveness really, not in the first one. He sounds truly apologetic but wants Chastity to know he holds no excuse for who he was. He writes that he knows he was a monster and every moment since then he’s made an effort to be a better man.”

  “And do you think he is?” Lauri paused. “A better man?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve not talked to him but a handful of times in our adult lives. And every time we were forced to spend time together through family obligations, he was always so reserved. I just thought he was being a brat and punishing me by not talking to me, but after reading these letters and looking back … I just don’t know.”

  “Maybe he was trying to sort out himself which left him nothing to talk about. Maybe he wasn’t sure who he was, and felt no need to delve into it with …”

  Jesse finished her train of thought, “With someone who was overly critical of him?”

  “Yes,” she agreed.

  “I’m exhausted.” Jesse closed his eyes.

  “Let’s table this for now,” Lauri suggested. She took the letters away from him and pulled him to his feet.

  Jesse wrapped his arms around her, as Lauri pulled him in.

  “I love you babe,” she murmured between kisses.

  Jesse breathed her in. “Ditto.”

  The two laced hands and walked to their room. There would be no more talking for the rest of the evening.

  Chapter 23

  Timothy squeezed Chastity’s hand before walking her up to the front door. He almost felt sorry for her. She looked like she could bolt back to the car at any moment. He laughed softly and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

  “Breathe,” he reminded her.

  Chastity let out a deep breath, and closed her eyes. He waited for her to shake it off before taking the steps up to the front porch.

  “I can do this. Sure no problem,” she was muttering.

  Timothy laughed. “The only thing you have to worry about is my mom talking your ears off.” That seemed to do the trick, because Chastity visibly relaxed some.

  He opened the door and pulled her behind him.

  “Mom! We’re home!” Timothy yelled. He stopped and waiting for a response. “That’s weird.”

  “What?” Chastity asked.

  “Any other time I’ve ever been here. My mother has beaten me to the door. For her not to be here pouncing on us … something isn’t right.”

  “I knew it,” Chastity said, visibly getting shaken again. “She doesn’t want to meet me.”

  “No, stop. That’s not it. I promise you she was looking forward to this. I just talked to her yesterday morning!” He reassured her. “Mom?” Timothy hollered out again.

  “Sorry!” Mrs. Banks yelled as she ran down the stairs. “I was … um … busy upstairs.”

  Mrs. Banks rounded the corner after stepping down from the stairs. Timothy was suspect from the start. Her usual bounce wasn’t in her step and her perfect appearance was a bit disheveled. She had dark circles under her eyes.

  “Oh Timothy! I’m so glad you’re here. And look who’ve you brought!” Mrs. Banks rushed over to hug her son, and opened her arms instantly to hug Chastity. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you!”

  “Thank you,” Chastity blushed. “I’ve heard so much about you too.”

  “Oh?” Mrs. Banks said drawing back cautiously. “Just what has my son told you about me?”

  Chastity faltered not wanting to reveal everything Timothy had said. “Um,” she bumbled. “Just that you’re a powerful lady who loves her family … and your cooking is the best in the Midwest.”

  Mrs. Banks laughed outright. “Oh that felt good to laugh. I’m sorry where are my manners? Come in and sit! You’ve both had a long flight. I meant to have some dinner made, but haven’t had the time. I do have some cookies in the kitchen though. Would you like some?”

  Timothy’s alarm went off. Didn’t have time to cook?

  “Mom, come here,” he said pulling her to the living room. He ushered her to sit. “What’s wrong?”

  “Now what would make you ask that?” She beamed back at her son but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. In fact, her eyes held caution. She looked tired.

  Chastity sat next to Timothy, not sure what to do. This wasn’t how she expected her first meeting with his mother to go.

  “Mom, you’re not yourself. What’s going on?” Timothy demanded. He looked around and cocked his head. As he listened to the house, he heard utter silence. “Where’s dad?”

  Mrs. Banks eyes faltered for a second before she finally let go of the breath she’d been holding.

  “He didn’t want me to tell you. You know how your dad is. He ignores it when anything goes wrong.”

  “What went wrong? Where is he?” Timothy asked, scared.

  “He’s at Baptist.” Mrs. Banks stood. “Chastity, I’m sorry we’re being rude. We’re ignoring you.”

  “It’s okay, really. I don’t need anything Mrs. Banks.” Chastity put her hands up in defense.

  “It’s Janie, dear.” She said, taking Chastity’s hand in hers. She smiled at Chastity with emotion that reached her eyes this time. “It’s finally nice to meet the girl who has won my son’s heart. And I can’t wait to get to know you better.”

  “Thank you. Me too.” Chastity blushed.

  “Mom,” Timothy interrupted. “Please. Tell me.” He kneeled down in front of her to keep her from diverting the conversation.

  “Oh,” Janie gasped. “He was fine one minute and then the next…” Her voice trailed off.

  “Mom! He’s okay right? What happened?”

  “He’s okay. Well, he’s going to be.” She continued rapidly in response to her son’s look of urgency. “We were at the market yesterday … you know preparing for my grocery list … to cook for you two.”

  “Okay?” He urged.

  “Then as he was lifting the watermelon into my cart, your dad stumbled. He fell on the ground. I started screaming. Oh it was horrible!”

  “Mom!”

  “I tried to ask him what was wrong but his voice was slurred.” She cried. “Oh I’m sorry. I’ve been trying not to cry this whole time.” She took a deep breath. “And thankfully someone shopping on the same aisle was quick enough to dial 9-1-1 on their cell. The ambulance got there quick and carted him off. I don’t know how I made it to the hospital. I mean, I drove … but I don’t really remember.”

  “Mom, you could have had an accident! That was dangerous to drive.” Timothy scolded.

  “Timothy Banks! I know I’m old to you, but I’m only in my mid 50’s. That is still young enough to take care of myself. I just needed to get to your father.” She scolded in return.

  “I know. I know. I just am glad nothing happened to you.” Timothy sighed and sat down in between his mom and Chastity. Chastity patted his leg for reassurance and then quickly stood. She felt like she was intruding on what should have been just family.

  “I’m going to get your mom some water. I’ll be back.” Chastity softly whispered, hoping to find her way around Mrs. Bank’s kitchen. Timothy nodded with appreciation.

  “So what did the doctor say?” He asked, reaching for his mom’s hands.

  “They said it was a stroke and that he’s lucky. The EMT’s got to him early enough that he’s going to be okay. His verbal skills are good. He’s just lost some movement one on side, in both his leg and arm.”

  “Oh man.”

  “I know honey, but all things considered, we
’re very lucky. He could have been at home alone while I was grocery shopping. And then he wouldn’t have made it.”

  “Can we go see him?”

  “Of course. I’ve been there all night. That’s why I am a mess today.”

  “Mom, you look beautiful…dark circles and all.”

  Janie Banks laughed at his flattery. “Right. You’re a charmer.”

  Chastity walked in with a glass of water and set it on the table next to Mrs. Banks.

  “Now this isn’t right. You shouldn’t be serving me in my home. Come sit next to me.” Janie took Chastity’s hand and pulled her in next to her. “There’s plenty of time to visit your dad Timothy, but right now I want to visit with this lovely lady.”

  Chastity sat down and smiled nervously. “What do you want to know?”

  Mrs. Banks’ eyes gleamed as she leaned in for the kill. “Tell me what you like about my son. Do you go to church? And how many children are you planning on having?”

  Chastity quickly reached for Mrs. Banks’ water glass and took a big sip. She looked to Timothy for help, who just leaned back, crossed his arms and smiled for the first time since they walked in the house.

  “A little help here?” She looked to Timothy. He shook his head and winked at her in response. “Where do I begin?” She let out a breath and did the best she could.

  After the inquisition was over, the three packed up in Timothy’s car to make their way to the hospital. Chastity sat in back where she let her stomach settle. All in all she thought she had passed Mrs. Banks interrogation. She hoped.

  Once they found parking and made their way inside, Timothy quietly slipped into his dad’s room in the ICU. For a second all he could do was stand. His feet were glued just past the threshold, unable to move. The larger than life Col. Banks was nothing like what he knew. This pale submissive man lying in bed couldn’t be his father. Could he?

  “He’s okay,” his mother softly urged from behind. “Go on.”

  Timothy stood at his father’s side and slid his hand over his dad’s. He let out a deep sigh. His heart and mind were overpowered with deep grief.