“Henry!” Edward’s voice carried out over the maze.
“Oh, dash it all.” Henry was not to be thwarted in this moment.
Then Tauney’s voice, sounding closer than Edward’s, “I don’t think they are here, brother. Besides, I know Joanna is with her.”
They continued to talk, but their voices became more distant.
Tabitha looked off, out over the hedges, at something, her face troubled.
Henry reached for her hand. “You asked me a question. And I feel you deserve an answer.” He took his time, choosing his words. “You and I got along well as chums and playmates all these years. I admit to preferring your brothers, even, for many of those younger years.”
She laughed. “I was shorter then. And slower.”
“You have the right of it. The cares of little boys. But as we grew, I came to enjoy you as a dear friend until I even preferred you to them.”
She gasped. “Did you?” Then she narrowed her eyes. “I couldn’t tell. What with your teasing—their teasing. I didn’t know who liked me when.”
He shook his head. “Again, the way of boys.” He started walking. “But there it was, I preferred you.” He cleared his throat. “But never, until that fateful day in the river, did I recognize why.”
Her eyes widened. “The river?”
“It was then that I knew you were no longer my young playmate and friend, but a woman I had come to respect and, even, most ardently admire.” He stopped and pulled her close. “I would never have even dared approach you with these feelings, except I saw possible evidence you might return them.”
Tears fell down her cheeks. Dash it all. if he made her sad again, he would desist all efforts at once.
“Tabby, is this welcome news?”
She nodded. “Yes, Henry! Most, most welcome.” She lifted his hand.
He swallowed in amazement as she brought his first knuckle to her lips. “I’ve been wanting to do this.” Her soft lips pressed into the rough skin of his hand. “And this.” She kissed his second knuckle, his breathing forced. “And this.” She turned his hand over and pressed her soft velvet lips to the center of his palm. He was overcome. How could such a simple gesture overpower him in such a way? She brought her full lips to the inside of his wrist, sending shots of energy up his arm. She stepped closer and placed a hand on his chest, tilting her face up to his.
He thought the pounding of his heart would surely move her hand with its powerful rhythm. She was too much for him. He wanted to crush her to him and kiss her senseless, covering her lips with his own in a manner she would not soon forget. But he could not kiss Tabitha.
She further closed the distance, her eyes searching his face, full of hope and longing. He knew what she wanted. But she didn’t know what she asked. He could not betray Edward’s trust. He could not move forward until he had asked for her hand. And oh, the agony of it killed him.
She lifted her chin, her face pleading with him. Then she closed her eyes and parted her lips. He stared at her mouth, open and inviting, and leaned closer, his lips ready for hers. But instead, he placed a kiss on her cheek.
Her eyes fluttered open, disappointment filling them. “Henry?”
His breath coming heavy, he sighed. “Tabby, we can’t.”
“What? I thought you said—”
“Everything I said was true. All of it.”
Her face clouded, confusion marring her peace once again. Henry had never felt so conflicted.
Tauney burst through the hedge, making them both jump.
“Edward is coming.” Then he stopped and tilted his head. “Though there seems to be nothing of concern here.”
Henry couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or relieved. But Henry was relieved.
Tabitha stepped to Tauney, placing her hand on his arm. “Perhaps we shall go for a walk?”
“Certainly.” His eyes found Henry’s, full of questions. Henry could only answer with a shrug of his shoulders.
When they left, rounding the corner of the next hedgerow, Henry plopped down on the bench. Joanna looked to him with a question.
“You may go, thank you.”
Edward ran in, face red. He took in Joanna’s retreating form and Henry on the bench, alone, and relaxed his shoulders.
Henry pitied the fellow. “Come friend. Sit with me before I knock some sense into you the old way.”
That night, Tabitha sent Joanna away as soon as she could. Frustrated, confused, and so utterly disappointed, she twirled her ribbons in despair. She thought for sure Henry would kiss her. And once he did, she could believe that he cared, that he perhaps desired something more permanent, marriage even. Because Henry would never kiss her if he didn’t mean to follow through. But when he hadn’t kissed her…her heart shuddered.
She couldn’t live without Henry. Or if she did, she would move far away so as never to see him again.
She shivered, the late hour catching up to her. The manor had become drafty, a wind picking up outside. Even with the fire Joanna had started for her, she felt cold. She grabbed a robe, and then a pelisse, and sat by the flickering, crackling flames. She couldn’t possibly sleep, her thoughts rushing through her like the stormy wind outside.
“Damen.” Henry’s voice called outside her door.
She jumped up and placed her ear against it.
“What are you doing in this hallway, and at this hour?” His voice was sharp, demanding.
Was Henry outside her door? And Damen as well?
Damen mumbled something in response, and their conversation carried down the hall. She opened the door. Their retreating backs turned the next corner. She ran after them, her bare feet only a soft pad on the wood floors.
Many turns later, she peeked around the corner they had passed, and Damen and Henry separated. With luck, she was familiar with this part of the manor and recognized statuary hall when Henry entered. Curious. She was about to enter after him and make her presence known when another figure darted out from the opposite direction. Lady Summers, wearing only her nightdress. She opened the door to the hall, slipped in, and closed it quietly behind her.
Staggering from the shock, Tabitha reached behind her to lean against the wall.
“Are you well?” Damen’s strong hand held her up. “Let’s get you back to your room.”
She could only nod. They moved swiftly, and soon she thanked him and fell into her bed, too emotionally tired even for tears.
He pulled the covers up to her chin, whispering, “You deserve much, much more.”
She didn’t answer and hardly noticed when he slipped out the servants’ panel. No wonder Henry hadn’t kissed her. She could only assume it was because he had kissed Lady Summers. The dark enveloped her and cloaked her heart, sleep far, far away.
13
Nothing as it Seems
Tabitha had all of Sunday to think about Henry’s strange behavior: his clandestine meetings, his almost kiss, followed by the image of Lady Summers’ retreating form into statuary hall. She and the brothers had attended church as usual, with no Henry at her side. He had disappeared from sight. Her angst grew the longer she had to wait to confront him.
Lady Summers. The thought of that woman made her want to throw things.
After everything, she still did not know Henry’s intentions. How could a man seem one thing and then act another, only to remind her yet again how much she adored him.
But no matter how much she didn’t know about how he felt, she did know that she adored Henry. And she determined that tonight, at the ball, she would make sure he knew too. She had been a fool to let fear govern her. She would be bold. And she would let him know how she felt. If she never gained his affection, if she never learned his true feelings of the heart, at least he would know hers.
Joanna pulled at her hair, working a new style. “It will make you look even more beautiful, my lady.”
Her maid's hopeful smile did little to comfort Tabitha. But she stayed firm in her resolve and shut out
any fearful or hesitant thoughts.
At last she was ready. She wore a new gown, and, with the extra care, she knew she had never looked better.
She stepped out to the top of the stairs. Her brothers met her there. All of them looking as handsome as ever. They wore equally stunned and admiring expressions, mouths open, eyebrows raised. Julian even looked twice, which made her laugh. “Is there a problem?”
Edward cleared his throat and held his arm out to her. “No problem.”
As they moved down the stairs, Tauney whispered, “You look stunning, Tabby.”
She smiled, her confidence growing.
“Do you have any dances set up for the evening?” Edward glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.
“I do. Henry has asked for the first and the supper set.” She didn’t even care if Edward approved.
But he surprised her and smiled. “Good. We can relax during those sets then.” He rested a hand on hers.
She opened her mouth in surprise. Did he know Henry no longer cared?
Her new bravery tried to falter, to shake, but she refused to let it crumble. No matter what Henry felt, she would not change her course.
She and her brothers made their way to the ballroom entrance. The footmen opened the doors and announced all the Eastons. She held her head high, happy to be surrounded by so much love and support.
The room was full. She sucked in her breath in astonishment. The countess had invited , the neighboring gentry, and everyone seemed to be in audience.
The music started for the first set, and Edward nodded to her. “I’ll leave you to Henry then.”
She took in one long slow breath and let it out carefully. Now is the time. He already made his way towards them, eyes warming the air around where she stood. Even her toes tingled as she watched his tall, handsome form shorten the distance between them.
Her brothers dispersed, finding their partners, and still she waited. Henry was stopped by many on his way. He talked to them all. With each pause, her anticipation grew and she put a hand on her stomach. Then Lady Summers approached
All her thoughts jarred to a stop as Tabitha watched.
Lady Summers pulled Henry out towards the ballroom floor; she curtseyed to him and he bowed in response.
Tabitha clenched the fabric at her stomach. Was he to dance the first set with Lady Summers now? What was to be Tabitha's set? She couldn’t bear to watch. Before he could rise up out of his bow, she fled the room. She couldn’t converse with him afterward, pretending as though she too forgot the set; it was too much. Perhaps she could avoid him forever. She pushed through the arriving guests and out the double doors.
Damen stood back with a tray of drinks, ready to enter. When he saw her, his face filled with concern. “Lady Easton, what is it?”
“Oh Damen.” She didn’t care how loud she sounded. “I must go to my room.”
He nodded. “Here. Have this wine first.” He walked back toward the kitchen, down a servant's hallway, until they were in a blessedly private location.
She gulped her wine. He handed her a handkerchief so that she could wipe it from her mouth.
“Thank you.”
Damen seemed to consider her for a moment, and then he said, “I have just the thing.” His smile was warm and teasing. “Go to your room, grab a pair of sturdy boots and something warm to wear.”
“What?”
“The countess has it on our schedule this evening. Stargazing. I’ll get the carriage and we shall go earlier.”
She waited, not wanting to go anywhere at all.
“There is a lovely spot where the stars are brightest. We bring hot chocolate and teas. It is the highlight activity of the house party. She will announce it as a surprise after supper.”
She considered for a moment more, and Damen tipped his head and smiled, a full, white-toothed grin.
She began to feel her senses dull a little, the shock of being forgotten by Henry fading away. She swayed on her feet. “Ooops.”
Damen held her up. “Go get your things. Meet me on the south side of the manor. I’ll be there with the stargazing kit and one of the carriages.”
She nodded. This would be lovely. No need for her to miss the best part of the house party just because she wanted to be alone. Damen would take care of it. Then she would go to bed and avoid Henry for the rest of her life.
On her way back down the stairs, she stumbled on the last step as she saw Joanna. “I’ll be going on the countess’ stargazing activity. Not to worry, a footman will escort.”
Joanna’s face wrinkled in concern for a moment and then cleared. “Yes, my lady.”
Before long, Tabitha was bundled up in blankets and on her way in the carriage. As the blankets warmed her and she sank deeper into their comfort, she found it more and more difficult to concentrate. Perhaps it was the wine? She had never been so affected by one glass before.
Damen sat across from her, his eyes warm, but different. Hopeful, caring, and something else. Calculating. She blinked and his image wavered in front of her.
He moved to sit beside her. “We are almost to the spot. I wonder if I might discuss something with you first?”
She nodded, her head falling forward for longer than she planned before she forced it to rise again.
“I have long admired you. I think you may have noticed?”
She didn’t know what to say.
He moved to sit beside her. “You, of all the ladies here, have caught my eye, and I have appreciated our friendship.” He ran a finger along her forehead. She shivered, pulling back a little from his touch. “My feelings for you have grown. At first it was admiration, naturally. But now, I think of you night and day, watching you. Your sleeping form is so angelic.”
She started in alarm, her eyes widening.
“So pure. I couldn’t simply take you as my own, without making things legitimate between us. Our children will never be cursed with my fate.”
She sat up straighter in her seat. What is he saying? Blast my brain. Why can I not think? “Damen—” Her body swayed.
“I come to you, not without resources, Tabby. I have family, connections even. A promise of an estate in my mother’s homeland. My family is well-known throughout the valley.” He sat back. "No title, unfortunately, but with you, an earl's daughter and sister, that's what you provide us."
Tabitha blinked.
“No one at this party appreciates you the way I do. I love you, Tabitha. And I ask, will you be my wife?”
She closed her eyes, confusion taking over her brain. As she tried to force concentration, she shook her head. “No Damen. You and I can’t marry. I must marry Henry.”
He leaned closer. “But Henry danced with another, remember? Lady Summers came to him during the night. He doesn't care for you like I do.”
How did he know about Lady Summers? She could barely keep her eyes open. But she felt adamant about one thing as soon as Damen said the contrary. Henry’s eyes came into her mind, their wide, hopeful expression full of love. She could not deny it. “But he does care. Henry loves me.” At last she knew. He loved her. One look into his face and she should have known all along.
“I care.” Damen’s voice startled her. “Did you hear me? I love you. I’m here, now, offering everything to you. Does that not count for something?” His sharpness hurt her ears and rattled about in her head.
She blinked, his image doubled. “I can’t…Damen, I don’t love you.” Her eyes closed, too heavy to lift her lids. She peered at Damen through slits, trying to concentrate.
His face turned rigid, his eyes cold. Then he rapped on the roof with his cane.
The carriage jerked forward with a burst of speed. And fear rose through her haze. “What? Damen, turn around. Where are we going? Slow down.”
“Just rest Tabitha, my sweet. We have a long ride to Scotland.”
Henry stepped away from Lady Summers as soon as he greeted her. “If you’ll excuse me, my first dance is taken.”
Tabitha’s retreating figure pushed through the guests and out the door. He followed, but on his way, he was stopped by nearly everyone. The set was over before he could even leave the ballroom. Perhaps she was unwell. He would wait to see if she returned. They still had the supper set together. He was more than anxious to see her, to be with her. Yesterday had been a long and tiresome day, filled with hours spent not in her presence. He was more determined than ever that he would declare himself and ask for her hand.
As the minutes passed and she did not return, he sought out Edward. And then they both found Joanna.
A surprised Joanna stood at the servants’ table in the kitchen. “She said she was going to the countess’ stargazing activity. And not to worry because a footman would accompany.”
“Dash it all.” Henry ran from the room, Edward close behind.
They tore into the barn. “Do you know of any stargazing activities tonight?”
The hand shook his head, shocked at their abrupt entrance. “Though the countess’ carriage was prepared and left about an hour ago.”
“Ready your fastest horse.” Henry turned to Edward. “I must go after her.”
“I’ll get the others. We will follow in case there’s trouble.”
Henry leapt up onto the horse, digging into his flanks the moment his seat hit the saddle. The horse took off at a gallop, and Henry urged him faster.
14
To the Rescue
Tabitha awoke to the unsettling feeling of eyes watching her. Her skin crawled, and she resisted the largest shiver of her life, hoping to stay very, very still.
Damen.
The hair on her arms stood on end. At first she felt frozen in place. What to do! What to do! The swaying of the carriage and the bumpy ride told her they were still travelling at breakneck speeds.
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