As she passed the widow's house, still feeling sick, the front door opened. Liam came out onto the porch, only to stop dead in his tracks upon seeing Eva standing on the sidewalk. Mrs. Johnson, looking smugly at Eva, put her hand on her hip. Mortified, Eva dropped the wagon handle and ran home, a horrible rage building up in her. She thought she was going to throw up. When she got to the back yard, she could not stop the gorge from rising. When she stopped puking, she stumbled up the back stairs to the kitchen door. She could hear Liam behind her with the wagon calling her name, but she wouldn't stop. She ran into her room, slamming the door. She tried to lock it but the key was missing, so she stood pushing against it so Liam could not come in.
She heard him enter the kitchen.
He knocked on her door. “Eva, let me in.”
“Get out!” she screamed.
“No, let me in.” He pushed on the door. “Eva, please.”
“You can yust go to her, now! I'm done vit you!” Eva was shaking with anger. She could feel him pushing against the door. She knew he would be able to get in. So, she ran to her bed, burying her face in her pillow. She heard him come in and walk over to the bed.
“Can ye let me talk?” He spoke gently. “I don’t understand what’s goin’ on.”
“I don't haff any control over you!” Her face was in the pillow, so her yelling was muffled. She didn’t wait for a response, but sat up, glared at him, and continued. “You don't haff any idea ’bout her. I do. Sees try to steal Victor. Sees …” Eva could not go on.
“I have no interest in her whatsoever, Eva. She said she needed help with a stopped-up sink. We went to the hardware.”
Eva looked at Liam as he studied her face with great puzzlement. She watched his face as it changed to a shocked understanding.
“Sees steal Victor,” she murmured.
“Did Victor …He was unfaithful to ye with her, Eva.”
“He taut I never knew. Oh, maybe I didn’t know for lonk time. I found out few veeks before he die.” She started to cry and lay back down in a fetal position.
“Eva, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Liam said. He went to her and wrapped his body around her while she wept. “For you, I’ll never go there again, I promise. I didn’t know.”
They lay there, curled up together on the bed, for a long time. Suddenly Ellen, home from school, knocked on the door and peeked her head into the room. She asked no questions, but just joined them, curling up into her sad Mamma’s arms. The three stayed that way. Eva could feel the new relationships that were growing, still raggedy and rough, out of the sadness and hurt, all three striving for a new beginning.
~~~
The next day, Liam and Saimi had a chance to talk while having a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. Eva was at school with Ellen for the morning. Ellen and her group were putting on a play, and she had begged her mother to come. Liam had talked her into it the night before.
“Ellen will think its grand, when she sees ye there,” he’d said as he put his arms around her. “It’s time, darlin’, for standin’ on yer own two feet again—to keep goin’. Don’t let the Johnson woman do this to ye anymore. And,” he hesitated just for a moment, “don’t let Victor do it anymore either.”
Liam looked across at Saimi now. “Did ye know of Victor’s affair when it happened?” he asked Saimi.
“Not right avay, but I saw somptink change in Eva maybe three veek before he die. Dat’s vhen you came.”
“So, he was discovered just before I came.”
Liam now understood more clearly why Eva was so angry towards her husband, and why Victor felt threatened by his presence. Eva’s abject hatred, perhaps fear, of the woman down the street had humiliated her. It was bad enough that Victor died, but on top of it, there was his betrayal of Eva, and of everything she held close to her heart all of her life. Liam took a deep breath and exhaled.
“Now it’s not her secret anymore,” Saimi said. “Dere might be relief in her heart.” She paused. “You have to be careful you don’t hold her up too much. Having her go vit Ellen to school vas good step.”
“I think so, too,” he agreed.
“Victor told me vhen dey first get here, in Finland Eva vas stronk and bossy and had love of life. But vhen dey get here, see lose a lot. See get too needy. See didn’t speak Eenliss. She stay home a lot. I tink she was heartbroken vhen dey leef Finland. Den Victor got yob at Mesabi and he gone all a time. Hees drink a lot.”
“She had no one but you and Ellen. I wonder why Victor gave up on her, gave up on their marriage.”
“All she had den vas Ellen. That’s vhy dey so close. Ellen vant to proteck her now.”
Liam was pondering all that Saimi was telling him.
“In time, you gonna find out yust how proteck Ellen is,” Saimi said. “See sees everytink.”
Liam gave her a puzzled look, thought about it, and then felt the heat of anxiety and embarrassment wash over his face. “She saw us—Eva and I—at the lake?” He took a breath and blew it out through his nose.
“I pretty sure sees did. I see you and Eva from kitchen vindow. Ellen vas out of breath and excited. I don’t know ’bout happy, but not upset.”
“Well, that’s good that at least she wasn’t upset.” Liam was not about to wreak havoc on a nine-year-old girl.
“No. I tink sees change her mind slowly ’bout you. And vatchink you and Eva ever since you came here.”
“I think we’ve come a way, though,” he said pensively.
Saimi smiled. “You haff come lonk vay, Liam. You still healink, you have stop drinkink and seem happier. Eva must keep going too. Ve can’t do it for her, sees haff to do. Eva has been sad he’s gone, but now … sees gonna get very angry at Victor.”
The conversation came to an end. Saimi and Liam sat quietly, finishing their coffee.
~~~
Liam decided it was time for a talk with Ellen. He wanted to make sure that his being there was not harming or upsetting her in any way. One night, he asked Ellen if she wanted to go fishing at the lake the next day, early, before breakfast. She agreed. They dug for night crawlers when it got dark, putting them in an old coffee can and covering them with a bit of earth.
The next morning at dawn, they got two fishing poles from the barn, grabbed the bait, and headed out for the lake. The chilly spring air reddened their noses, and dew covered the growing hayfield behind the house.
“Do ye know how to fish, Ellen?” he broke the silence as they walked.
“My Pappa took me sometimes.”
“Was it fun then, with yer Pappa?”
“Oh, yes, he vas always good to me but not to Mamma after a vhile.”
“What happened?” he asked hesitantly, knowing he was getting into private things.
“At first dey happy, but vhen Pappa got a job at Mesabi, he started to stay out late on Fridays. Sometimes he came home in the morning. He couldn’t stand and he smelled bad. Mamma and Pappa thought I didn’t know, but I did.”
“Ellen, ye don’t have to talk about this if ye don’t want to. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“No, Liam. I vant to. My Mamma vas so unhappy for so long, maybe you can help her.”
“I want to help her, but she has to get this all out and not keep it hidden inside anymore. Have ye noticed that she is getting better now that …”
“Yes, now dat she gets a little angry, maybe a lot, den she feels better after.”
“I hear you saw our fight in the snow.” Liam smiled a little.
Ellen smiled back. “Yes. I don’t tink Mamma thought it vas so funny den.”
“She got angry, then she cried, then she felt better.” Liam used Ellen’s words.
“You were nice to wipe her tears. I tink she liked dat.”
“But ye’re afraid of havin’ a different Pappa too soon.”
“I don’t know … I still miss my Pappa.”
“I understand ye more than ye think,” he said.
He paused and she glanced at him. He
wanted to broach one more subject. “There was somethin’ else I think ye saw too, a short while ago, and ye know what I’m talkin’ about.” He was trying to be gentle, showing respect.
She paused and looked up at him. “At the lake, yes Liam. I’m sorry. I was worried about my Mamma.”
“Ellen, I love your Mother and if she gets … well …” He could feel the heat of discomfiture rising, “everything will be all right.” He was taken aback by the conversation he was having with this beautiful, intelligent nine-year-old. When he looked down at the girl who knew too much about everything, she had the reflection of the early rising sun in her brilliant blue eyes.
“I von’t be able to forget my Pappa,” she said.
“I wouldn’t want ye to.”
She studied his face for the truth, seemed to see it, and sighed. “Then, Liam, let’s go fishink.” She took his free hand, and they walked down to the shoreline in tentative companionship. He held back a tear or two, letting a bit more warmth come to stay around his heart.
A while later, when they got too hungry to fish any longer, they came back home with a big appetite and nine fresh perch in the creel to be eaten for supper.
Chapter 9
Liam was not used to this garden planting business, especially in the high sun of a very warm spring morning, nearing noon. The only place he had ever picked vegetables was out of a vendor’s basket at St. Georges Market with Annie. He marveled at Eva’s ability to work in the heat. He felt sweat dripping from his hairline down to his neck. “How do you know how to do all this?” he asked.
“I do dis all my life,” she explained. She had dirt on her apron and hands, as well as a big smudge on her forehead and cheek. She'd been rubbing her face with the back of her hand to wipe the sweat streaming from her hairline.
“Are we almost done? It feels like dinner time.”
“You are too hot and tired?” She feigned sympathy. “I see you are sveaty Irishman.” They stood in their spots, watching each other.
“I am sveaty,” he teased. He was suddenly aroused. He stared at Eva.
“I am all dirt,” she said.
“I don’t mind.” He started towards her.
She unexpectedly started to run from him, giggling like a teenager.
“What’s this?” he said smiling. “Am I gonna have to chase ye down?”
“Maybe,” she said, looking for a way to dodge his grasp. She was standing close to the barn door. She picked up her skirts and dashed for the opening. She gave a short squeal when he almost nabbed her on the way in.
She didn’t seem to make it too difficult for him to catch her. She took a deep breath near Liam’s neck. “You smell sexy,” she said.
“I smell sweaty,” he said, responding to her foreplay banter. He was fully erect.
“I like it.”
“Why did ye make it easy for me to catch ye?” he said, out of breath. His arms were wrapped around her waist from behind. “I like the thrill of the chase.”
“I am too tired and hot.”
“So ye make fun of me for bein’ hot, and ye’re in the same condition I’m in.” He began to nuzzle her neck as he held her by her waist. “Well then. Maybe ye’re too hot and tired for this.” He pushed subtly into her buttocks.
“No, I can, vit right man.” She was still playful, but responded more seriously to his nibbles on her neck by pushing into him with her buttocks.
“Do ye want to do it right here on the dirt floor, or would ye like to go to the soft hay pile over there?”
She pulled him by the hand to the hay. It rustled crisply as they lay down. She chose to be on the bottom.
Liam was feeling the difference between Eva and Dolly as a sex partner. Dolly was petite and spindly like a small deer, but sturdy enough. Eva was lean, but like a moose in strength and duration. She was so unabashed and wanton. They had had sex many times in the last few weeks since the lake, after Ellen left for school and Saimi left for errands. No one, Liam surmised, knew this about her, except for Victor. And now he did. He was so attracted to her shape, playing harder with her than Dolly. The fact that she was a bit round and bosomy excited him. When they were alone, he had to have his hands on her. Dolly did not have the curves that Eva had.
Eva’s legs were now wrapped around his hips and her arms splayed out to her sides in the pile of hay. He watched her enjoy the ride she was on, smiling all the while. She hummed with each hard thrust, her breasts wobbling. He was sweaty with exertion. His breathing was audible and hoarse with his own abandon.
Watching her breasts wiggle, he could feel it rising from his loins. “Jesus, Eva …” he breathed, then growled with each pulse as he spilled himself into her. He rolled off her, in utter amazement at the intensity of their lovemaking. He pulled her to him.
“I like dat,” she murmured.
They both lay there, half dozing, entangled in the fragrant hay.
Liam woke a short time later, happy and hungry. They had missed dinner, but that was all right. They could go in and find leftovers. Saimi was supposed to have gone to the Finn Hall for a ladies’ meeting about juhannus, which was coming in a few short weeks. They went to the sauna to splash off, then went inside.
After a cold ham on rye sandwich in the cool kitchen, Liam stood up.
“I’ll be right back. I want to go get somethin’,” he announced. He bounded out the back door. In a few minutes, he came back with his cylindrical document holder.
He sat down at the table. “I’d like ye to see somethin’,” he said. “Then tell me what ye think.”
“Vhat you haff?” She sat on the edge of her chair.
He pulled out the document from its hard leather casing and spread it out of its tight curl. “See?” he said.
“I can’t read Eenliss, Liam.”
“I’m sorry. Most of it is in Latin. I’ll tell you what it is.” He took a breath. “It’s a degree from the Royal School for Surgeons in Scotland.” He smiled at her. “See, there’s my name—William Michael Dady. I went to school to be a doctor.”
She looked at him in astonishment. “You are doctor?”
“Yes,” he said, beaming with a re-emerging sense of accomplishment.
“Dis mean somptink big, den.” She put her hand on his arm. “You take care me and you vere doctor,” she exclaimed. She blinked tears away.
He rubbed his nose and teared.
“How vonderful.” She looked at him. “Vhat you gonna do now? Dr. Andersen know?”
“Andersen doesn’t know. I was thinkin’ of goin’ to him and talkin’ with him. I still have my letters of recommendation from my professors. Perhaps this … I could go somewhere.” He studied her face.
“Vell, den. You must go,” she said emphatically.
“Will ye come with me for a bit of support?”
“I don’t vant to get in vay, it’s very special time.”
“But I want ye to be a part of this. I was meant to do this … five years ago. I can’t think of a reason why ye shouldn’t be there.”
“I feel so special dat you ask me,” she said, her eyes teary as she smiled.
He took her face gently in his hands and kissed her. “I couldn’t have done this without ye, Eva. Ye’re already a part of this—my life—now.” For the first time since he arrived in this town, he was thinking that maybe he could be happy. He had lost hope of feeling this way for so long. He was certainly feeling happy at the present moment. Can I trust this all the way? he asked himself. It made him nervous. Each new step filled him with anxiety as well as joy. A similar mix of emotions began to show on Eva’s face. He put the document on the table, reached for her, and they held each other, giving and receiving each other's strength.
“I want ye to be with me, but I also know that what I need to show Dr. Andersen has to come from me.”
~~~
Two weeks later, Liam and Eva were sitting in Dr. Andersen’s office at the hospital. It was the soonest he’d been able to see them. Andersen had been i
n Brainerd for a week, training a group of young doctors. The extra time had allowed Liam to adjust and refocus. He’d continually had to fight visions of Belfast and Edinburgh and Dolly, but he’d chosen to remain open to Eva about all of it. There were a few times he’d ended up in her arms, sobbing in the middle of the night. Somehow, she knew to come to him on the sauna porch, as though she could sense him from her bedroom when he woke from a dream-filled restive sleep. Perhaps it was something she saw in his face or demeanor before he went to bed. They would sleep for a while separately, and then she would be there, in his bed, where he could reach for her in his need.
“Sometimes it’s just so strong,” he had said. “The loss, when I think of her. I know in my brain she’ll never be back.”
“I not gonna be Dolly, I am yust Eva,”
“I’m glad ye’re Eva. I want ye to be Eva.”
“What is vorse tink ’bout Dolly, vhen sees die, Liam?” Eva asked.
He gazed at her, hesitating to answer. “Watchin’ the life drain out of her,” he said in a whisper.
Eva held him fiercely.
~~~
Now, as Liam sat next to Eva across the desk at the interview he watched Dr. Andersen peruse his paperwork that he had kept all these years.
“I’m very impressed with your credentials and letters of recommendation, Liam. Given the gap in having any kind of practice between your graduation and now, I’d like to have you on staff here if you’re willing to work under my tutelage for a time as you rebuild your skills.” Dr. Andersen knew of Liam’s last five years.
“That’s grand, Dr. Andersen. I’m lookin’ forward to working with ye.”
“I don’t mind saying you’ve made great strides in your recovery. Have you had any incidents since you detoxified?”
“Just one major one. I didn’t succumb to it, came close, but Eva … talked me through it.”
Both men looked at Eva. She seemed totally lost by the medical conversation in English, but it didn’t seem to squelch her excitement. Liam noticed Dr. Andersen studying both of them, as if trying to ascertain the relationship.
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