“You must think I’m such a horrible person … for what I did. You’re right about me not thinking about your little girl when … I’m just so sorry for everything.” She left Eva standing in the open door when she turned to go.
Eva didn’t know how to react other than stepping back into the house, closing the door, and leaning up against it. Without expecting it, she burst into tears. She wished Liam was home. She just let herself cry, sliding down to the floor on her bottom. She put her face her hands. And cry she did, for all the anger and hurt, Victor’s selfishness and betrayal, a final step in the grieving, perhaps a last door to close.
~~~
That evening, Liam came home from the hospital later than usual. He had terrible news and wished he didn’t have to tell Eva.
“The Widow Johnson collapsed at the tavern after several drinks,” he announced. “She was near death by the time her drinking comrades staggered into the hospital with her. They had let her lie unconscious on the bar floor before realizing there was something terribly wrong. We pumped her stomach, but she was too far gone. We couldn’t save her.”
“Dat’s terdible,” Eva said.
“Overdose was the cause of death,” he said. “The autopsy tests showed a lethal amount of opium, combined with alcohol.”
Eva was inconsolable, but not for long. She told Liam of her visit with the Widow that afternoon.
“She was makin’ amends before she died.”
“Sees do dis? It not AK-see-dent?”
“Probably not,” he said. He put his arms around her. “It was impossible to tell for certain from the autopsy. She left no note, according to the Sheriff. But sometimes people know instinctively when they are going to leave this world.”
Later that night, Eva sat on the edge of their bed, blowing into a hankie. “Is it last time I cry about dis?” she said.
Liam didn’t answer her, he just held her while they lay in bed. After a while he heard her say, “Yes, it last time.” He felt her begin to relax. She turned to him. He knew she was seeking comfort, and he gave it to her with his hand, slowly and tenderly, bringing her to release, blessed sleep, and a new day tomorrow.
~~~
“Is this fishing and canning going to be like plantin’ the garden?” Liam asked Eva. He remembered how he didn’t like it much, sweating like a beast in the hot sun.
“You gonna liff.”
“We’ll see …”
She laughed at his complaining.
It was Sunday morning and promising hot, sultry weather and a day of swimming, fishing, and preserving. Liam, Eva and Ellen were going to spend the day at the lake, then Saimi and a few others were joining them in the afternoon through the evening. Liam would help Eva set up smoking racks. Eva was also preparing what the Swedes called lutefisk. Many crocks were on hand for storing. Liam was having a hard time with the idea of using lye, otherwise poisonous to humans, to preserve fish that people would be consuming in the winter.
“It fine, Liam,” Eva explained. “It yust need good soaking and rinse, in vadder before cookink and eatink.” She grinned at him as the three of them walked to the lake, pulling a wagon load of canning materials.
“Please warn me when lutefisk is on the table,” he said. “I’ll pass it by and pick somethin’ else, thanks.”
“I vill let you know,” Eva promised.
“I can’t vait to get into the wadder,” Ellen said. “Can you go any faster?”
“Be good, Ruusu,” Eva said with feigned sternness. “Look, dere is lake now.” They crested the woods-covered knoll, and Ellen took off for the shore, running and yelling like a marauding Viking.
“She’s not goin’ to drown, is she?” Liam asked.
“No. Sees understand not go before ve get dere.”
Sure enough, Liam watched as Ellen stopped short of the water and ran back to them. She grabbed her garden tools and a small galvanized bucket from the wagon and headed back to the water. She sat down on a narrow portion of the shoreline that was composed of sandy dirt. “I’m making mud pies,” she hollered.
While keeping an eye on Ellen, Eva and Liam set up the smoking rack. They put canvas around it to capture the smoke where the slices of fish would be hung. The fire pit would be under it where a smoky fire with green wood would be set for the freshly caught fish. Eva and Liam also set up a small canvas tent, since they would be staying the night to keep the fish smoking going. Ellen was beyond excited when she found out she could sleep at the lake and that it wasn’t going to rain. They had brought food and drink for their lunch. Saimi would be bringing more food after church for later.
“Ellen, let’s gather some wood for the smokin’ and bonfire,” Liam said.
“Do I have to?” Ellen sounded put upon.
“No, but it would be nice to help, since there’s a lot of work ahead.”
“Fine,” Ellen muttered, avoiding eye contact with him. She and Liam headed to the edge of the woods.
Liam glanced at Eva, who gave him a look of exasperation. Liam gave Eva a hand signal to let it be.
A half-hour later, Liam and Ellen had gathered a substantial amount of firewood from the woods floor, using the wagon to haul it.
“It’s a good start,” Liam said. “The rest of you children can get more later.”
Ellen ran back to the lakeshore and her digging.
When Liam got back to Eva, she started to reminisce. “Ve used to do dis at lake at Mattson farm. It vas bik party all night.” Liam saw her go inward with her memories. Her smile faded.
“Why did yer smile go away?” he said, “if ye don’t mind me pushin’ ye a wee bit.”
Eva hesitated, then spoke as she watched Ellen. “All my memory of Finland haff Victor. I can’t find dem happy anymore.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“’Course, my family vas happy time, and I alvays miss dem. I can’t … I don’t know vhat to say ’bout it.”
“Those are called mixed feelin’s. Some of it is happy and some, sad.”
~~~
When their tasks were complete, Eva set an old quilt under a birch cluster near the edge of the open beach area, and she and Liam sat for a while as she told him more about the preserving of fish in Finland. The shade felt good. She felt light-hearted now and anticipated a good day. She called Ellen to have something to drink with them.
“Vat you talkink about?” Ellen asked as she approached. She had mud all down the front of her undergarments being used for swimwear. Her hands and face were in similar condition.
“I am talkink ’bout Ol’ Country to Liam. Ve have fishink party at lake. You don’t remember ’bout lake and our house dere.”
“I only remember liddle tinks, like a big campfire on the beach and fish on the ground.” Ellen drank a cup of mehu, made that spring with in-season berries. “Ummm, dat’s good,” she said. “Tanks, Mamma.” She gave the cup back and ran to the shore, back to her mud. As usual, she ignored Liam.
“Sees so stubborn,” Eva said quietly. “I know you are so nice vit her.”
“I stay quiet because I don’t want to make it worse.”
He sat up and took off his shirt and trousers. Underneath, he had on a pair of long johns. He had cut the legs short to go in the water. His upper torso remained uncovered. Eva felt herself gawk but tried to be inconspicuous about it. Liam must’ve seen something because she saw it in his eyes. She felt the heat, her breathing deepening. She wanted him badly.
“I see ye lookin’ at me.”
She blushed wildly. “Yes,” she whispered, “I am.”
“Come on, let’s clean Ellen off.” Liam invited Eva to get down to her undergarments. “No one will be here for a while, let’s have a swim!”
He pulled her up from the quilt and began to disrobe her. This was uncomfortable for her in front of Ellen, but pleasurable as well. Eva always liked it when Liam undressed her. It just wasn’t ever in front of Ellen.
“Liam—” She started to protest, trying to stop h
is fingers from unbuttoning her blouse.
“What?” He seemed amused. “She already saw us have sex that first time.” He turned slightly and pointed. “See, right over there, near that big fallen tree. She knows what we do.”
“Vell, as lonk as we don’t haff sex in front again, you are right. She is not lookink.”
Eva stripped down to her camisole and bloomers. A little belly was starting to protrude, mostly from her increased appetite. Liam patted it and they smiled at each other. They walked toward Ellen on the shoreline.
Suddenly Liam ran up to Ellen, scooped her up, and yelled,” Come on, Ellen, let’s take a dip in the lake!”
Ellen shrieked at the sudden attack. Eva thought Ellen didn’t know whether to be irritated or delighted. Liam tossed her in the shallow water. She resurfaced in joyous laughter, pushing her hair from her face and working to regain her balance.
She yelled and pointed, “Go get Mamma!”
With a sinister grin, Liam splashed through the water toward Eva and gave her the same treatment. He was able to catch her before she could run further inland. He scooped her up while she protested vehemently. He waded to deeper water and tossed her in, falling in with her. She resurfaced, spurting and sputtering. Her long hair was covering her face.
“It so cold.” Eva, like Ellen, had momentary trouble gaining her balance. She stood thigh deep, her clothes clinging and see-through.
Liam noticed. Eva watched as he had to go to deeper water to conceal his stiff penis from Ellen. Ellen and Eva played for a short while, splashing and diving under, chasing each other. Eva noticed Liam staying out in the deeper water.
“Vhat you do out dere, Liam?”
“I … I … em … I got too …”
Eva understood what he meant and started to laugh. “Den you take care youself. Ellen and I go get lunce.” She stood and headed back to the quilt and lunch basket in the shade.
“Mamma, I can see your boobs and your peppu,” Ellen said in her own amusement.
Liam asked, “What’s a peppu?”
Eva said nothing but pointed to her round bottom. Liam nodded and tried to hide a smile. Ellen and Eva walked to the shaded quilt and their lunch basket.
~~~
As they sat down, Eva took out some sandwiches from the basket in the shade. Eva began to ask Ellen a few questions in Finnish. “Where did you hear the word ‘boobs’?”
“The older boys at school,” Ellen responded in her mother’s preferred language. “They always say things at recess and after school about the older girls and ladies around town.”
“Stay away from them, please,” Eva implored. “And tell me if there is trouble. Pappa Liam will take care of it.” She gave Ellen a serious look.
“He’s a doctor. What’s he going to do? Operate on them?”
“He will take care of you. He’s your stepfather, now.”
“Hmm.”
“He used to be a boxer, a fighter.” She put her fists up as a fighter would pose.
Ellen seemed unimpressed.
After a while, Liam joined them for a sandwich. Liam still seemed enthralled with Eva’s wet undergarments. He came out of the water and wrapped a large linen towel around his waist. As he sat down to eat, Ellen ignored him. Eva was long used to having a child about, and she knew Liam would have to adjust. In a month or so, Ellen would be back in school and off with friends involved in recreational activities at the Finn Hall on Saturdays.
When Ellen was finished with her lunch, she gave Eva a hug and went back to her digging in the dirt at the shoreline, leaving Eva and Liam sitting on the blanket in the shade.
“When can I have you?”
“Vhen Ellen sleep.” Eva looked at Liam with a bit of empathy.
“Was it like this with Victor? Did he feel the restriction with Ellen around?”
“Oh yes. Sees vould come ’vake in a night somptimes, or vake from her nap. Victor haff to stop in a middle. Lotta times. It leef Victor yust like you, vit nottink to put his tink in vhen he need to.” She laughed silently. “He go to privy and come out lil while. No more bik tink.”
Liam chuckled.
Eva waited. “I vant to know vhen sees make up mind ’bout you. Sometimes I tink yes, and next tink, no. I am crazy vit her!”
“I never know how she’s going to be either. I think patience is my tack.”
~~~
That evening, when the fish were feeding, many fish were caught from the shoreline and the boat. Saimi and Eva prepared and preserved a dozen crocks-full of lutefisk and hung an equal number of filleted strips of salmon from the frame to smoke. Eva watched as Ellen had great luck catching perch and bluegill from the shore. Ellen could bait her hook using earthworms without batting an eyelash, just like she had all her childhood. She even bit worms in half if she didn’t have two hands to split them. Paul and Emil, the boarders, fished from the boat and found lake trout and salmon abundant. Anna brought a few side dishes to eat with the fried fish over a wood fire.
Ellen ate until she moaned, then went off to fall asleep at ten o’clock, barely dusk so far north. The rest of the people headed home, leaving Eva and Liam to tend the smoking fire—finally alone.
~~~
When the last of the helpers disappeared down the wooded path that night, Liam declared in a whisper, “It’s been a long day, darlin’. I need ye bad.” He glanced at Ellen. Her head was sticking out of the tent, resting on her pillow. She was quite still and hopefully off in dreamland.
“I put some vood on fire first.”
But Eva didn’t get to the wood stack near the fire. Liam held her in a hug and put her on the ground. “I’ve run out of patience, I cannot wait a second more,” he said.
He pulled his trousers down to his knees, while she pulled up her skirt. He knelt between her legs and spread her knees as far as they would go. As he entered her, he gently bit her breasts through her blouse, beginning the inexorable journey to sexual bliss. She gasped and began her own rhythmical moaning as he pushed into her, setting a fast rhythm.
~~~
Ellen, the vigilant one, woke. It was dark. She looked up from her pillow and found her mother and Liam writhing and moaning on the ground. They’re at it again. Why do they keep doing that? Isn’t Mamma already gonna have a baby? Katia says that’s how people get that way. I hear them all the time. What’s so special about it? I know I’ll never do that with a boy. It just seems so … unsavory. Ellen had learned that word from her teacher Miss Lehto recently, when she was talking about boys spitting. Ellen rolled her eyes and fell back to sleep to the sound of her mother’s heavy breathing.
~~~
Eva and Liam continued their quest for carnal satisfaction.
“I can’t stop now,” he said, nearly breathless.
“Don’t,” she said, just as breathless, lost in the pleasure of the quick coupling.
His hand held her buttock as he climaxed, trying not to make noise to wake Ellen. He could see that Eva was in the middle of her release, and he pushed in hard for her to finish. She ground her hips into his. They lay limp in each other’s arms.
“Jesus Christ,” he whispered. “I had to wait fourteen hours to get inside ye.” He felt Eva vibrate in silent laughing. “You were near me all day and I couldn’t have ye. If ye ever want to torture me, just do this day all over again.” He chuckled.
“I tink it vas …” Eva counted in English words on her fingers. “…tvelve hours, and I vant you all day, too.” She pulled his head to her and kissed him slowly and sensuously.
He suddenly recalled the first night with Eva, when she was still severely affected by Victor’s death. While he had held her, she had brought herself to a climax. “I never told ye about that first night takin’ care of ye,” he said.
“Vhat happened?”
He told her in her ear, very quietly.
“I did dat?” She gave him a quick half-smile in the firelight.
“Ye did, surely.”
“Vhat you do?”
“I put ye back to bed when ye were done. Ye fell back to sleep.”
“Did you vant to?”
“Oh, aye, but I didn’t because of your dire situation.”
“You are good man. But, tonight vas lil DEEF-rent.” She kissed him on the neck.
“I blame it on yer wet undergarments,” he said. “Jesus that made me wild for ye. You and yer peppu.” He squeezed her buttock.
“Not my boobs?”
“Oh, aye, those too, but mostly yer peppu.”
She giggled and kissed him again. “It funny you remember dat vord.”
“I remember all the bad words.”
“It not bad vord. But don’t say it ’round people.”
“I’ll remember that.”
“Let’s get vood on fire, and get qvilt to lie close.”
They got up and moved closer to the fire with two quilts. Settled and lounging on one, Liam had an impulse.
“I never told ye about Dolly and how I met her. I’d like to do that, if ye don’t mind.”
“No, Liam, I don’t mind,” Eva said softly. “I vait lonk time you say somptink, but you not ready.” She crawled next to him and took his hand, pulling the quilt around them.
He told her about the row he had with his parents, and how his aimless wanderings led him to the brothel. Eva didn’t know what the word brothel meant. When he explained, she was both astonished and intrigued that he'd fallen in love with a prostitute.
“Holy see-it!” Eva said. It was the first American epithet that Liam had heard her say. “Tell more, Liam.”
Liam told her about hiring Dolly as the housekeeper, and about sleeping with her under his mother’s nose. When he got to the trans-Atlantic crossing, and leaving New Jersey without her, he cried.
“You love Dolly so mutts, Liam. I know sees so happy in last years, vhen you save her. Don’t forget dat all you life. Even if vas so lil time togedder. I luff you more now, you are so good. You see somebody vit trouble, you do all you can, helpink.”
Eva and the Irishman Page 47