Balanced: a balanced parallel construction, e.g. Give me liberty or give me death. Such sentences are great for making a strong emphasis but should be used sparingly.
Hypotactic: the various elements within the sentence are joined by subordinating and coordinating conjunctions. This produces a smooth, free-flowing effect, e.g. She twirled around with her hands in the air because she knew she had nothing to fear.
Paratactic: the links are left out and punctuation marks suffice. This gives a more emphatic, jerky impression. She twirled around with her hands in the air—she knew she had nothing to fear.
A sentence can also be unthematised in that it follows the basic subject, verb, object format, e.g. She ate too much at the party last night. Or they can be thematised, meaning that they vary from the above structure. The different options allow you to emphasise different aspects of the sentence.
For example:
At the party last night, she ate too much.
Last night at the party, she ate too much.
Last night, she ate too much at the party.
What she did at the party was eat too much.
Sentences can also be one word (elliptical), e.g. Help. The rest of the sentence is unwritten but is understood from the context, i.e. Will you help me? Single word sentences are useful in dialogue because we often speak this way, and can be used for emphasis in fiction. But be careful not to overuse them.
The Result of Applying These Principles
The following paragraph is typical passive writing in a description. It may sound fine to some of you, but it can be a lot better. These days, I can’t bear to read this kind of writing for long, yet I wrote this years ago, before I did any writing study. I thought it was pretty good at the time!
The dragons were the size of semi-trailer trucks and with iridescent scales were as beautiful as they were fearsome. Their limbs were short and muscular with claws the length of long swords, and their powerful tails had spikes along their ridges and a mean-looking barb on the end. Their enormous semi-transparent wings, powered by strong muscles, looked misleadingly delicate, but the fine fabric was much tougher than it looked.
What’s wrong with it and how do we make it better?
This is where knowledge of the craft of writing becomes really helpful. Your study will let you identify the weaknesses and show you how to improve the passage.
Let’s apply what we’ve learnt:
The dragons were [avoid using forms of the verb ‘to be’] the size of semi-trailer trucks and, with [avoid ‘with’ and ‘had’ in decriptions,] iridescent scales, were [‘to be’ verb] as beautiful as they were fearsome. [telling the reader they’re beautiful rather than showing them what makes them beautiful so the reader can see for themselves]. Their limbs were [‘to be’ verb] short and muscular with claws the length of long swords, [unnecessary adjective—swords are long] and their powerful [it would be better to show the tail’s power in an action sequence rather than tell the reader with this adjective] tails had spikes along their ridges and a mean-looking barb on the end. Their enormous semi-transparent wings, powered by strong muscles, looked [don’t rely on ‘looks’] misleadingly delicate, but the fine fabric was much tougher than it looked. [How does the narrator know this? Better to show its toughness in action.]
Now we know what has to be changed, we can find a more immediate way of saying the same thing. Here’s an improved version:
Dragons with short, muscular limbs and claws the length of swords slashed out at each other. Their backbones shimmered with spikes, and their tails ended in lethal barbs. Enormous semi-transparent wings ribbed with fine bones beat the air like drums; tails slapped like iron doors slamming, and thunderous roars reverberated across the landscape.
The golden dragon gleamed like pure burnished gold, and the black scales on his opponent shimmered with a dusting of metallic blue. They sparkled like jewels on a ballerina’s wrist as she twirled in a deadly dance.
5
Clarifying Common Confusions
Another thing to check in your self-editing is that you have a clear understanding of the following often-misunderstood punctuation conventions. Some traditional publishers even get them wrong, so if an editor handles these differently, question it. A publisher can create their own style guide, of course, but they should have a good reason for going against general convention.
Ellipses
Major world style guides agree that ellipses should have a space either side of them … like that. Apparently some UK English style guides suggest a space only at the side where the words trail off… like that, but I have never heard of a style guide that accepts no spaces around ellipses.
Em Dashes
Em dashes are double the length of a hyphen—like this. Traditionally, they have one quarter of a space either side in printed books. However, word processing software doesn’t allow us to create one quarter spaces, so the general recommendation for authors is not to use any gaps on either side. Online, however, we can’t do that. When we hit a dash twice and press enter, we get two dashes, not the em dash we get in word processing software. Because of this, when writing online we use a space, a hyphen and another space in lieu of a proper em dash. This causes confusion as to what is correct in books. People assume that because that’s how we see it online, it’s okay like that in books. Perhaps one day it will be, but in the meantime, it’s preferable in ebooks we offer for sale to stick to the proper em dash length and use no space either side.
In paperbacks, if you or your formatter uses InDesign software and can manage the one quarter space either side, then do so, if not, go for no spaces.
Introductory Phrases
All style guides agree that introductory phrases should have a comma after them if they are longer than about five words. When we write something like this we have written an introductory phrase. When we read the previous sentence, we have to pause and take a breath after ‘this’. That’s a clue that there should be a comma there. Now see how much easier it is to read it with the correct punctuation: When we write something like this, we have written an introductory phrase.
Formatting
Fiction should be formatted with a first line indent and no gaps between paragraphs. The first paragraph of a chapter, however, has no indent. This is important in print books, but is not so crucial in ebooks.
Non-fiction has spaces between paragraphs and no first line indents.
Choose one or the other style and stick to it throughout the book; don’t mix them together unless you require special formatting, perhaps for poetry, excerpts or quotes.
UK & US Differences
This is a general summary of the main differences between British and American English. This is not a comprehensive list. I give this for those of you who may inadvertently criticise something in a book written to a different set of conventions than those with which you are familiar. They aren’t wrong; they’re just different.
Grammar
Simple past vs present perfect tense:
Speakers of American English generally use the present perfect tense (have/has plus past participle) far less than speakers of British English. In spoken American English it is very common to use the simple past tense as an alternative in situations where the present perfect would usually have been used in British English.
Example:
Did you read that book?
USA: No, I didn’t read it.
UK: No, I haven’t read it.
Verb agreement with collective nouns:
In British English, collective nouns, (e.g. staff, government, class, team) can be followed by a singular or plural verb depending on whether the group is thought of as one idea, or as many individuals.
Example:
My team is winning.
The other team are all sitting down.
In American English, collective nouns are always followed by a singular verb, so an American would usually say:
Which team is losing?
Wh
ereas in British English both plural and singular forms of the verb are possible, as in:
Which team is/are losing?
Past Tense forms:
Some verbs (e.g. learn, smell, get, saw) have different simple past and past participle forms in American and British English. The irregular past forms burnt, dreamt and spoilt are possible in American English, but less common than the forms ending in -ed.
Example:
British speaker can say ‘learned’ or ‘learnt’, but American speakers would only use ‘learned’.
Punctuation
Mr., Mrs., and Ms. all take periods in American English. In British English, the periods are omitted, following the rule that a full stop/period is used only when the last letter of the abbreviation is not the last letter of the complete word. Unit symbols such as kg and Hz are never punctuated.
Dates: The order and punctuation of dates is different. British usage omits the apostrophe in the plural form of dates (e.g., 1980s), whereas the American practice more often includes it (e.g., 1980’s). The British style is becoming more popular in America, however.
American usage puts the month first, followed by the day, and then the year. Hence, 12/5/2010 means December 5, 2010, in American usage. The British practice (followed in most of the world) is to put the day first, followed by the month. Hence, 12/5/2010 means May 12, 2010, in British usage. The International Organization for Standardization (ISO) has established the YYYY-MM-DD format, in which December 5, 2010, would be written 2010-12-05.
Quotation Marks: British English uses single quotations, American uses doubles.
American style places commas and periods inside the quotation marks, even if they are not in the original material. In the British style, punctuation is only placed within the quotation marks if it is punctuation that is a part of, or is related to, the quoted text.
Example:
A sign on the front door announced that the owners were “out to lunch.” (American)
A sign on the front door announced that the owners were ‘out to lunch’. (British)
The serial comma: This is used in the USA but rarely in UK English.
Example:
“The cat, dog, and the mouse.” (American)
“The cat, dog and the mouse.” (British)
Comma usage after abbreviations i.e. and e.g.
US: i.e., what George said, or i.e.; what George said.
UK: i.e. what George said.
Spelling
Words ending in IOUR have been changed to IOR in America (e.g. behaviour).
Many words ending in YSE or ISE have been changed to YZE or IZE in America (e.g. analyse, categorise, standardise). Also YSED or ISED to YZED or IZED, and ISATION to IZATION.
Words ending in RE have been changed to ER in America (e.g. centre, metre).
Words containing the silent letters OUGH have been changed in America so they are spelt phonetically, e.g. doughnut (UK) but donut (US), and hiccough (UK) to hiccup (US).
Words containing a double consonant before ING and ED have been changed to one consonant (e.g. travelling).
6
Choosing an Editor
Once you’ve worked through your book and edited it according to these principles, you’ll have a book that doesn’t need as much editing by someone else, at least in the line editing area—I may be doing myself out of a job by publishing this! You’ll still need someone else to edit it for you, however, because we can never see our own work the way others do. But if the editor won’t have to reconstruct sentences for you, he or she won’t need to charge you as much.
So now you’re faced with having to find an editor, or perhaps an editing service that uses different editors for the different kinds of editing according to their area of expertise.
What Makes A Good Editor
Norman Podhoretz, editor of Commentary magazine, encapsulated the editor’s role with this statement: “… to improve an essentially well-written piece or to turn a clumsily written one into, at the very least, a readable and literate article, and, at the very most, a beautifully shaped and effective essay which remains true to the author’s intention, which realizes that intention more fully than he himself was able to do. He cares about the English language; he cares about clarity of thought and grace of expression; he cares about the traditions of discourse and of argument.”
Before I began studying writing and editing, I thought that an editor was merely someone who corrected grammar, spelling and punctuation. I thought the job was somewhat dry and prescriptive. There were rules, I thought, that the editor had to make sure were followed so that the grammar and so on was correct. Now I understand that this is only one aspect of editing.
Correcting grammar, punctuation and spelling is the role of the copy editor, but there are other kinds of editing that are just as important in the production of quality writing, and different skills are required for the different areas. A good editor in one area is not necessarily a good editor in all areas, and it takes more than a formal qualification to make a good editor because in all but the copy and proofing, good editing relies on artistry and intuitive understanding of the author’s intentions as much as knowledge.
What makes a good structural/developmental editor?
The ability to:
Pick out the main thrust of a story and know how to pare back what is extraneous;
See the underlying concepts and know how to strengthen them;
See what isn’t in the book and should or could be;
Analyse the strength of the various elements of fiction and suggest improvements.
What makes a good line editor?
The ability to:
Evaluate the details of characters, descriptions, action and timing to remove unnecessary repetition and pick up continuity issues;
Restructure sentences to vary their constructions, provide aesthetically pleasing rhythms, turn passive into active prose where relevant and so on;
Pick up unrealistic or stilted dialogue and rephrase it into something more natural;
Remove overwriting and generally cut the clutter.
What makes a good copy editor?
Knowledge of grammar, punctuation and spelling, and how to apply them in different circumstances. They should also know the areas in which language is changing and therefore where the ‘rules’ are somewhat flexible. They should know when it is appropriate to leave poor grammar and spelling in direct speech, as in dialects.
What makes a good proof-reader?
The same knowledge as above plus the ability to focus on each sentence as a separate unit and see what is actually there rather than what we assume is there. A good proof-reader keeps aloof from what he or she is reading. Being swept away by a good story is the prime reason for missing typos. Reading from the back of a book to the beginning is a way to avoid getting caught up in the story and is a recommended proofing practice.
Other important qualities
A good editor also has good people and communication skills. They know when and how to explain their reasons for suggestions and are encouraging and supportive whilst inspiring the author to stretch their writing to greater heights. They are patient, honest, enthusiastic about your book, can work to deadlines and have no egotistical investment in the work. They assist the author to create the book the author wants to create. They know not only how to retain the author’s voice and vision but also how to strengthen it. They don’t seek to replace it with their own.
Copy editors and proof-readers primarily require knowledge and precision, whereas developmental and line editors, as well as knowledge, require good analytical and creative problem-solving skills. At the developmental and line editing stages, editing is as much an art as it is a skill.
How do you Find a Good Editor?
To evaluate if an editor is right for you, check their formal qualifications, experience and recommendations from other authors, but also read their blog and what they say about their work process. Reading an editor’s bl
og is a good way to get to know them.
An editor who has reviewed a lot of books in a wide range of genres will have a good understanding of voice and style and how to stay true to it, so take this kind of experience into account.
If you’re looking at a team of editors, then look at the person doing the line editing because they’re the primary editor in a full editing service. You’ll be working most closely with this person, and you need to feel that you can trust them.
Leave a question on their blog. Do they answer you quickly? How do they respond? How do they treat you? Do you think you could work with this person?
Booking a manuscript appraisal is a good (and hopefully cheap) way to start the editing process and see if you can work together. An editor’s suggestions in a manuscript appraisal will show whether they’re in tune with your vision or not. It will also show you how well they communicate and respond to your concerns. The big question is whether or not the editor understands what you’re trying to do. Do they respect your style? The last thing you want is an editor who will try to turn your contemplative romance into a fast paced thriller.
Once you’re seriously considering an editorial service, ask for a sample line edit. A sample line edit should include explanations of why the editor has made changes. And if you aren’t sure of anything, you should feel free to ask. You can also check things you’re not sure of by doing your own research.
If you’re happy with the sample edit—and remember that the editor will see things that you don’t, so expect to be surprised and educated—and you feel that you can trust the editor to improve your book, not mulch it, then hand it over.
The Elements of Active Prose Page 9