C: Just don’t mess around. Get in there and get it done.
J: Promise.
C: Be careful.
J: You too.
The atmosphere upstairs is different than I’m used to. Instead of Judy and the rest of them joking around, they’re somber. Even their posture is different, heads down, focusing on what they’re doing.
“Justice, what can I do for you today?”
Setting my bag on the counter, I pull my folders. “I need these copied, filed, and stamped.” I hand her a stack. “Then I need to research these. Can you let me back there, or do I need to do it at the public computer.” I point to a lone computer sitting off to the side. It doesn’t even have a chair.
If this were a normal day, she’d let me back behind the desk, and I’d be allowed to joke with them, laughing my way through my list. This doesn’t appear to be a normal day.
“You’ll have to sit out there today, honey, but I’ll have someone bring you a chair. No sense in standing that long.” She eyes my stack of folders.
“Yeah, I was hoping to get a lot done, that way I wouldn’t have to come back tomorrow, but we’ll see.”
“Hopefully tomorrow there won’t be so much going on.”
“Is everything okay with you all?” I ask quietly.
“Yeah, but whenever there’s that many cops across the street, it tends to mean there’s someone dangerous coming soon. Always makes us nervous.”
Me too, but I don’t say so. “You’re safe,” I try to reassure her. “Fogel is downstairs he won’t let anything happen to you.”
She grins. “At least he’s different than the other guy we had.”
I laugh along with her. He’d been ninety if he been a day. “They wouldn’t let him carry his bullet in his gun, right?”
“Shot his damn foot once and after that…” She shakes her head.
“So see, we’re already batting a thousand.”
Judy doesn’t look convinced, and truth is, I don’t feel convinced either.
“Be careful, Justice.”
“I will, I’ve already promised Caelin I won’t mess around.”
“Caelin?” Her blue eyes shine bright with recognition. “Tyler’s boy?”
“Yes,” I answer, already feeling my cheeks heat.
“Ohhh look at that blush. Is he the new man in your life?”
The only man in my life, I want to correct her, but I don’t. If people haven’t been in our circle, we’ve somehow managed to keep whatever this is between us a secret. “Yes he is.”
“That one could break hearts all over the Bluegrass. You better watch yourself.”
“Don’t I know it? I’m way outta my league here.”
“No.” She tilts her head to the side, examining me in a way she’s never done before. “I think you’ve grown up just enough to have a man like that in your life. And make no mistake about it, he’s a man.”
“Oh trust me, I know.” I wink.
“Here’s your chair, Justice.”
“Thanks, Todd.” I follow the other worker across the room to the computer before having a seat and getting to work.
The quicker I can get out of here today, the absolute better.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Caelin
Pulling up to Charity’s law office, I see the increased police presence. Whatever this is, it doesn’t feel good. The tingling in my skin, the tightening at the base of my skull. Something is going down, and it’ll be our job to try and figure it out before it happens.
C: I’m outside your mom’s office. Let me know when you get done.
J: I told you I’d let you know when to come and get me.
C: We had others telling us about this too. Your dad and Dalton are here to get them. It’s my job to make sure you get home safe.
J: Am I going back to your apartment?
C: Or the clubhouse.
J: I don’t think it’s a good idea to move the puppies.
I don’t either, but we’ll do what Drew tells us to. I hate that she’s already asking questions. Conveniently reminding me of my own mother. She’s not one to sit idly by while things happen around her. Justice doesn’t necessarily want to be in the thick of it, but she’ll never be the old lady who knows absolutely nothing about what’s going on.
I like that about her.
Putting on my sunglasses, I roll down the window on my truck, and do my best to listen to what the officers are saying. One of the things I’ve learned since joining the club is that outside, people tend to lose their instinct to be quiet. It’s as if the open sky tends to loosen their lips and make their voices carry.
“You think he’s realized we’re in town?”
“Judging by the way cars and trucks have rolled past here all day, I’d say if he doesn’t, he’ll know by tomorrow.”
“Hopefully we can get him by then.”
My interest is piqued as I listen to the conversation happening around me. When I happen to see someone I went to high school with, I give him a wave. He comes over with no prompting from me.
“Hey, Caelin.”
“Nice to see you, Jake.” I hold out my hand for the second-year Sheriff’s Deputy. “I know you probably can’t tell me what’s happening here.” I indicate the amount of people.
“You’re right, I can’t. But I’ll tell ya, it’s none of your crew.”
“Didn’t think it was. Should I be worried about other shit happening?”
He turns his head to the side, spitting tobacco if the bump in his lip, and the tight way he talks, is any indication. “Depends on where you and your boys are plannin’ on being tonight. We might have a situation out toward Russellville. We’re assisting Logan County and the ATF.”
“Don’t plan on being out there.” But damn I’m wondering who they’re going after. The fuckin’ ATF? Shit’s about to hit the fan.
“Do yourself a favor and keep on this side of the county.”
My phone buzzes with a text from Justice.
J: On my way out.
C: Be right there.
“Thanks for the heads up. Gotta go pick up Justice at the courthouse.”
He grins. “Figured you’d be picking somebody up. Saw Drew earlier swing on around back and wait for Charity.”
From where I sit, I can see Justice, standing on the sidewalk, looking around for me.
“She’s cute.” Jake hits my elbow with his.
“Way better than I deserve.”
“They all are,” he laughs. “Be safe, Caelin.”
“You too.”
I start the truck, put it in drive, and head over to where she stands. She makes a pretty picture leaning against the stop light. Lightly, I touch the horn. More than likely she was looking for the shop truck.
The smile that spreads across her face is enough to make my fucking day.
“Hey.” She waves.
Leaning over, I reach across the seat, opening the door for her. She scoots in, a smile on her face.
“Thanks for coming to pick me up.”
“Like I would’ve let you deal with this.” I indicate all the police cars. “By yourself. Plus we have a dog to go buy stuff for.”
“Oh yeah.” She hands me a piece of paper. “Joanie has a vet appointment tomorrow. I talked to Mom about coming in late. I’ll go with you.”
This feels bigger than I ever expected it to. Us taking care of something that’s ours. It’s as if we’re becoming more of a part of each other’s lives than we ever have. “Do we need to swing by your apartment and get you some more clothes?”
“If you don’t mind.”
I grip the steering wheel tighter. What I’m about to say I’ve never said to another person, and if I weren’t holding on to the wheel for dear life my hands would be shaking. Which is so totally unlike me, it’s laughable. This feels bigger than even the both of us. “How about you grab some stuff to keep there?”
She was speaking. I realize that when she breaks off suddenly, to stare
at me with her mouth wide open. “Keep stuff there?”
“Yeah, not like move in, at least not yet, but I loved you being there with me last night.”
“I loved being with you too. I’m just worried. What if I start to suffocate you?”
I groan loudly, grabbing her hand and pulling her palm to my lips. “Under no terms will you ever suffocate me. And if you did happen to, by like straddling my face when I went, well what a fucking way to go.”
Glancing over, I see the redness in her cheeks.
“Caelin…”
“No reason for you to get all embarrassed. It’s gonna happen, babe.”
“Is it?”
Gripping her hand in mine, I come to a stoplight, and even though it’s green, I slam on the brakes, forcing her to look at me. “When the time is right, all of it will.”
There’s a honk behind us, but I don’t pay attention to it. I lean in and take the type of kiss I’ve wanted since she got into the truck with me. She gives it willingly. Justice is all in, and as there’s another honk, I put my hand up to the person behind us and lift my middle finger. I haven’t given someone the finger since high school, and it causes me to chuckle. Pulling me away from her mouth.
“What’s so funny?”
Then she notices me flipping off the person behind us. She puts her hand up to her mouth, laughing loudly into it. “Let’s go before we cause a crash.”
Carefully I hit the gas, taking us to her and Harley’s apartment.
When we come in to mine, Joanie is lying snuggled on the rug she claimed last night, her babies tucked in next to her.
“Hey, mama.” I lean down, brushing my fingertips against her nose. “How’d it go with y’all today?”
Her tail wags, thumping up and down against both the rug and just a little bit of the hardwood floor.
“Looks pretty good.” Justice mentions as she stands over the water and food dish we left out for her this morning. “She ate almost all of the food and half the water is gone. It’s a good sign since the babies aren’t very old. She needs all the strength she can get.”
I’m still annoyed that someone left her out behind CRISIS, but I have to admit I’m glad to have her in our lives. “I’m going to take her for a walk,” I grab the collar and leash I picked up for her today.
“I’ll stay here with them.” She points to the puppies still on the rug. “Do you have anything I can cook?”
“I’m sure there’s something here,” I laugh. “Hell if I know what the fuck it is, though.”
“I’ll find something, we’ve been eating out too much.”
Having someone worry about me is a welcome change. Usually I’m doing my best to make sure everyone in the club is taken care of. And knowing she’ll be here when I get back? It does things to me. Like sends my heart pounding and a roar or pride through my gut. Can’t say I’ve ever been the type of guy who’s all fucked up about the girl in his life, but Justice Walker is about to change all of that.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Justice
The door shuts behind Caelin and Joanie, leaving me alone in the apartment. This is the first time I’ve ever been able to inspect Caelin’s private space without anyone seeing how I respond. At the clubhouse, there’s always people around for one reason or another, and he hasn’t left me by myself here prior to this moment.
I’m gazing at the living space through brand-new eyes. Instead of the love-sick girl who used to follow him around, I’m now the woman who is this close to knowing how he feels inside of me.
My body heats up as I remember what we did in his bed mere hours ago. Taking a deep breath, I walk over to where I’ve dropped my bag and pick it up. With shaking hands I bring it back to his bedroom. As I cross the threshold, I think of how it felt to me the other night. It was so much smaller in the dark of night, rather than the light of the early evening sun. Right now it looks huge, as if it could swallow me whole if I let it.
I guess that’s honestly a good metaphor for Caelin Blackfoot. I could let myself get swept up by him so easily, but I’ve got to remember who I am, and who he is. We’ll never be able to change the circumstances we’ve been in, but we can one hundred percent change where we’re heading.
Since I have a few moments to myself, I spend them walking around his bedroom, being slightly nosey. I’ve never been given this kind of freedom where he’s concerned. Caelin isn’t an open book for everyone, and while he’s definitely given me pieces of himself I’ve never seen him give to anyone else, I realize there are certain things he still keeps hidden.
Has to in order to save himself.
Slowly I make a lap of the bedroom, carefully opening the top drawer on his dresser. A little voice in my head tells me not to do it, but I’m too curious, and the curiosity wins out. I’m not sure what I expect to find, but I’m slightly disappointed to see a run-of-the-mill drawer with socks and underwear in it. A couple of black t-shirts.
But then something catches my attention.
It’s a folded-up piece of paper.
One I recognize.
My heart thuds as I slowly unfold it. I know if I move my eyes to the top of the page, it’ll have a date on it from three years ago. Not able to help myself, I let my gaze drift. Sure enough, the date is the exact one I thought it would be.
I wrote this letter to him, one night on a whim. Completely unsure of how it would be received, but I knew.
I just knew.
I had to tell him how I felt. Even if I couldn’t with a voice, I still could with words.
Caelin,
When we were born into the families we were, I truly believe our paths were mapped. You and I, we were meant to intersect. Which is why neither one of us can get rid of the other. Not that I’d want to get rid of you, but I know there are times you’ve wanted me to not be the annoying girl who chases you around.
But I will. I’ll chase you until my feet can’t hold me up. Until my lungs turn blue from telling you I love you.
And I’ll hold it inside until the moment you’re ready to hear it.
We’ll both know.
It won’t be scary, it’ll be natural. Like breathing, the sun coming up in the sky, the waves that crash into the shore.
We’ll know...and promise me, Caelin. Promise me you won’t run.
Justice
He kept it. For this long, he’s kept it. It’s stayed in the one drawer he has to go into every single day. Tears spring to my eyes, almost drowning me, a sob almost chokes me. The emotion is enough to make me walk over to the bed and sit down. My head is having a hard time wrapping around the fact he kept this.
It was the bane of my existence back then. A letter I wrote in a fit of feelings that were eating me up inside. If I had been asked before this moment, I would have sworn he threw it away. Probably didn’t even read it.
To know he did read it, and he kept it?
I found this for a reason. Our time has come.
I’m trying to come to terms with what I’ve seen when the apartment door opens and closes. He’s talking to Joanie and her babies. I allow myself this time to get my shit together. But when he walks over the threshold of his bedroom, all bets are off.
“Justice?” he questions as he sees me sitting on the bed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I get up, holding the letter in my hand. “You kept it.”
“I see you were lookin’ around.” The smirk on his face puts me at ease.
I shrug. “Couldn’t help it. Never expected you to still have this, though.”
“So.” He rocks back on the heels of his boots. “Is it our time?”
Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I nod. “I think so.”
“You think? Or you know?”
Getting up to my feet, I walk over to the dresser, putting the letter back where I got it from and then turn to face him. Crossing my arms, I tug at the bottom of my shirt, pulling it over my body. “I know.”
His jaw tightens. Teeth grinding
. “Are you sure about this?”
“Caelin.” I’m shaking, but not because I’m scared. I’ve never been more positive about anything in my life. “I love you,” I whisper.
He’s across the bedroom in three strides, picking me up by the backs of my thighs. Before I know what’s happening, I’m on the bed, and he’s bent down, nosing my bra away. His lips and tongue make contact, causing me to moan loudly, my fingers digging into his hair, pulling him closer. He takes the hint, using his teeth slightly. Tilting my head back into the bed, I bring my feet up, using them as leverage to press against him. He growls in the back of his throat, bringing his palms down on either side of my head, fisting the comforter.
“Yes,” I press between my tight lips. “Don’t stop doing that.”
His tongue soothes the nip of his teeth, and I’m in some sort of dream-like trance, where I’m having an out-of-body experience. It’s a pleasure the likes of which I’ve never felt before, not even when we’ve fooled around previously.
My core aches to have something, anything inside it. It’s clenching on the emptiness.
“Make it go away.”
“What? Make what go away?”
I reach up, grasping his hand with mine, dragging it down my body to my pussy. “It’s so fucking empty,” I moan.
His eyes flash, in a second I’ve unleashed a beast, and instead of being scared, I’m enthralled. Seeing this change in him is one of the most erotic things I’ve witnessed.
“Last chance,” he pants. “If I go forward I won’t be able to stop.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“Then you’re about to get it all, Justice. You sure you can handle it?”
I don’t think anyone is really completely sure of their first time. It’s so overwhelming, but I do know one thing. I trust Caelin with my life, and with that comes my pleasure. Smirking, I answer, “I’ll die trying.”
His answer is on a groan, reminding me of some words I said to him once before. “But wouldn’t it be a way to go?”
Restraint (Heaven Hill Generations Book 5) Page 12