– You get back! she screamed. I don’t give a damn, you get back from my daughter!
Little Samarra began to cry. The store owner reached under the counter while her husband came out from a closed office door. My sister could have helped by explaining that I always joke around with kids, but the only thing my sister did was step away. I had to run outside by myself and wait for her around the corner.
Outside the movies I fumed. I also panted. We walked fast from the lizard store to here. I was afraid Sam’s mother would be looking for me.
– I really thought you’d help me, I said again.
Nabisase wouldn’t discuss this anymore. I stood behind her, in line to enter Sunrise Cinemas Multiplex, pressing my thumb into her back. Either I’d annoy her or she’d answer me, but I wouldn’t be ignored. Getting into the movies was a slow process ever since they’d put up metal detectors. My sister wouldn’t look at me like I wanted her to.
– Which movie do you want to see? I asked.
She was distracted, holding a small cork to her nose. I was too annoyed to take notice.
– Why did you come with me if you’re not going to talk!
When she heard my voice raise she turned to me. – Whatever you want to see.
Then she looked around or through me again, sniffing the little stopper with her back to me.
– What is it? I asked while the ticket line stalled ahead of us.
– Uncle Allen sent it to me, she said. It was in my award envelope, but I don’t know why. It has a funny smell.
She gave it to me. A move so casual that she must have really wanted an answer and hoped I could provide it. If she hadn’t wanted my help she wouldn’t have explained anything to me.
Even after holding it under my nose a full minute I didn’t recognize the scent, so I put the top in my mouth.
– Oh Anthony, my sister said.
– It’s spicy and sweet at the same time. Paprika and peppermint.
– You’ve had it before? She seemed encouraged.
– Never have, I lied.
It was a soggy cork now. I held it out to her. – Can I keep it?
She shrugged – You act like it’s a Christmas card.
The film was being shown in the smallest theater to the far, far left. I walked behind my sister. I passed the concession stand so easily that everyone at Halfway House would have applauded. The only sign that I noticed the snacks was a sheen of sweat on my upper lip as we went by.
I had trouble with the chair. They’re only cut to accommodate so much. My body was pinched. I strained to get myself in. I yelped a few times in the process.
– Please, Nabisase said quietly. Can’t you just try to relax.
–The seat’s too small and I’m too big, but forget that. I want to talk about what a girl like you should know.
But she was easily distracted, by couples, a family, a strong breeze, anything that came through those doors. Anyone besides me. Faint tunes played through the room’s speakers and the lights were up.
– Do you know about Toxic Shock Syndrome? I asked.
The previews began so the room was only half as bright as before. We were still visible. I saw her rub her forehead. – Anthony, please.
–Toxic Shock Syndrome, I said loud. No one hushed us; we were in the right theater for conversations. There were other couples talking nearby.
– I found this when I was cleaning out Mom’s room.
It was the instructions from a box of Playtex tampons. Along with TSS, it described how to insert one.
To her credit, my sister acted maturely. She stood up. She walked away.
She sat a few rows down and on the opposite side of the aisle. I saw her slip into an empty seat. I sank lower in my own, feeling defeated. I took the cork out and tasted that night in Miser’s Wend, Virginia. Uncle Arms, we’re even.
Behind me. The theater doors opened. Both of them. Letting in light so I looked back. Annoyed enough right then that I might even pick a fight. And it was him. Ledric Mayo. Standing at the door.
He started to walk along, leading with his strawberry-shaped nose. As if he was sniffing out my sister.
I’d thought he was going to be discharged tomorrow, but he was at the movies with us on Saturday afternoon. He hadn’t even dressed well. The guy was in his hospital gown. His front was covered, but it couldn’t be tied, so the back was open to discovery.
He walked slowly because there was an IV in his arm and no one else in the movies noticed him. The IV was on a drip so Ledric was dragging it along beside him. A dirigible of a man pulling a long thin silver pole down the middle of a movie theater.
Ledric passed me and sat next to her. Nabisase acted so happy that it was like she’d expected him. He stuck one fat foot into the walkway.
The screen blew on, kindling our faces. A bonfire.
I leaned far back enough in my chair that I felt like I was falling. This made a terrible creaking noise in the theater. When I popped back up I tried to find my sister and him again.
There they were.
No.
There.
His arm already over her, her right hand on his lap.
She squeezed his thigh.
I wished I’d sat farther back.
I tried to leave, but had wedged so hard into the seat that I’d need a little help to get up.
So I stayed.
I tried to watch the film.
When I looked at my sister again she had less of her left hand out. It was in his pants. Through the zipper. Rummaging as though untangling a wire.
He dipped his head to try and kiss her, but her face was still down, watching to make sure she didn’t fumble. Also his stomach made it hard for him to move around.
The screen seemed brighter because the music soundtrack was so loud.
Oh, what was that?
Was it out?
Why did my sister stroke it?
She bent his penis like a plastic straw and lucky for him it was still soft enough to twist.
Nabisase tried more. She did better. The screen lit them like I wished it wouldn’t.
He leaned back.
There’s never a good day to see your sister suck a dick.
I leaned forward less to vomit than to breathe. I couldn’t look away. The dark silhouette of Nabisase’s head moved slowly. Then Ledric pushed his toes forward and backward like he was pedaling a bicycle.
The more his leg kicked, the bigger his belly became. It grew to the size of a weather balloon, but neither of them floated. I couldn’t see much of my sister’s head after a point, just his inflatable belly swaying.
I wanted to tell her don’t be like that. Don’t be so nasty. Goodness Girl.
It was Saturday, November 25th, 5:00 PM. That’s the first time I was ever thrown out of a movie. Because I wanted my sister to stop slurping I raised a ruckus, nearly broke the noisy chair.
Leaning forward and back, once and again, hoping the squeaks would distract my sister, but it didn’t. She kept going. Ledric too. They were the only ones in the room not mad at me.
My waist felt sweaty and my feet were cold. I was so hyper that I finally had the strength to stand on up. I did and screamed my sister’s name.
– Nabisase!
When I was a boy her birth had been the momentous event of my lifetime. My father visited us once, when I was ten. He drank beer with me one afternoon, out of cans and on a park bench. He made me think a man in glasses could be handsome. He spent the rest of the trip chasing my mother. He left after a few days. Nine months more and my sister was.
Having her around had been like a promotion; from only child, from little boy. I hadn’t been so matured in one decade as that first evening I picked her up. Supporting the back of her head with one hand.
– Nabisase! I yelled again.
The doors in the back opened as an usher walked in, but I watched my sister stand up. Ledric had disappeared and I wondered how a fat man moved so fast. Nabisase ran to the other ex
it, below the screen. Her hands across her mouth and nose hiding her disgrace.
36
When I reached home, walking from the movies, my hands were so stiff it could have been a bone disorder. Our block, 229th Street, was subdued in the early evening. When I cleared my throat the sound was amplified.
– You out here, too? the President asked from his front steps. In silhouette that hedge looked the worse end of a knife fight.
– It’s just us, I agreed, then leaned against the fence though this was a lousy move as it caused the red Doberman to stir. It came from the backyard.
– Quiet, the President commanded. Quiet! he tried again.
To no end. The man had to call his son. Candan took the leisurely route. When he appeared he only said, – Viper, quietly. The dog stopped watching me and went to Candan inside the house.
– Why would you name a dog after a snake? I asked once Candan had gone inside, taking Viper.
– He named it for the car, the President said.
I wouldn’t say that this man enjoyed my company, but that his own son was no friend.
The President took off his glasses, which made the already awkward eyes go bobbling to the farthest reaches of each socket. I looked away so as not to laugh, because the man was alright.
– He works hard, the President admitted. Soon that boy’s going to make a lot of money and his mother and I need the help. He pays half the mortgage right now, the President said.
– Is that right?
– Hell yes. So he’s got to make some room for himself in the house. I can understand that. I tell myself to.
Candan came to the security door three times. I took this for jealousy, but then saw it as a territorial instinct. I had the feeling that Candan would keep his father in a jar if he could.
The President finished his beer. He had torn away the label. He plopped it down with two others on the stairs. I took those three to the recycling bin, and when I returned he said, – You have got to be the neatest nigga since Moses.
– He was neat?
– Who gives a fuck! I’m talking about you.
This didn’t seem like it was going to be much of a year for snow; that was all right because it saved on shoveling.
– You keep some long hours, the President said. I see you come and go. Don’t know if it’s working or fucking.
– Last woman I got doesn’t call me anymore.
– It happens. My wife stopped giving me the soft serve when our boy came home.
– How long’s that been?
– I bet a year.
– I went longer than that without any, I gloated.
– But I married her behind!
– Stop making a fuss! Candan commanded from inside.
The President licked his lips a few times before putting his mouth to a new bottle of beer.
– Lost your mother, I see.
– How’d you know?
– Four people leave and only three come back, so what would I think? And C.D. was crying in the house last night.
I tapped my thighs because I wasn’t going to feel sad for Candan.
– I had a lot of hope when you moved in, the President said. Thought you were going to straighten your family out.
– And how’s your home life?
– You can’t guess how me and him got to acting like this. It’s not like you all.
Candan called his father inside, but I told him not to go.
– He probably needs help getting his mother from in front of the TV. Horse racing took more money from us than taxes this year.
– Sounds like there’s all types of problems you need fixed, I said.
– Well who doesn’t, Flapjack? You got a solution?
– Sometimes one word can kick-start your day, I said.
The President shook his head. – You tell me you love me and we’re going to have a fight.
– Dad! Candan demanded. The President went inside.
I stood on their stairs and looked at the doorway. It wouldn’t matter if I screamed or whispered so long as I said it.
– Activate.
37
I left the President’s yard not when the father and son began yelling inside, but once Candan let the Doberman out through the side door. I heard its nails clip along the concrete driveway and I rose.
A genuine Volkswagon Jetta was parked in our driveway behind my Oldsmobile Firenza and I knew Grandma hadn’t bought a new car while Nabisase and I were at the movies. It was impossible to see into the house from our yard because the front window was eight feet off the ground. I crossed the street to stand in the yard of the couple who owned an RV and the lights were on in our living room. With a glow coming through our one front window.
Inside I saw my sister with two, frankly, enormous figures. Men or women I couldn’t say, but each was an airship. They were inside, moving slow, talking with my little sister; it was as if I could see clearly the nightmares in a monster’s head.
I wanted to avoid walking into the house directly in case she’d hired two hooligans to beat me raw after the debacle in Sunrise Cinemas. But why get mad at me?
Into my yard and to the back where the honey-scent of laundry detergent dimmed the air around me. A line of clothes had been left out in the yard of the house next door; not the President’s, but the high-school teacher’s on the other side. The smell of clean clothes made me nostalgic for housekeeping work.
Our basement door, the third entrance to our home, opened to me so easily that I felt a nuclear charge. I put my hand to the sturdy door and it swayed for me.
On top of feeling brawny I also had the house key.
It was dark but I had the basement’s floor plan memorized. I was in the house, but the others didn’t know. I felt great again. Quiet. Invulnerable.
Only fifteen feet away from my book; it was lying on my bed in the dark.
The door at the top of the basement stairs was open four inches, enough to see into the living room. Stairs didn’t creak; suddenly I wasn’t heavy.
Those two bigger figures were women; they seemed attached by an invisible chain. Both carried black bags; not leather, but plastic. They set these on the living room table at the same time then sat. Without a cloth the white top made the purses seem darker and brighter simultaneously.
Nabisase made tea for them.
Merril and Devona introduced themselves to Grandma. I heard them. Then they helped my grandmother from the living room back to her bed.
Maybe they were cops. Could Nabisase have me arrested for making a scene in the movies that day? We’d never had my mother committed, but I’d heard it could be done.
Merril and Devona both wore their hair short, flat and close to the scalp. While they waited for my sister they played with anything near their hands. A few photos. The PennySaver. Pens. My book. My book. My book had been moved from my room.
This made me want to dash out there and take it back, but again, what if they were detectives?
Nabisase took a pot, boiled water in it then added the tea grounds. Not in a kettle, but a small open topped pot which is the way Grandma and Mom taught us. Next she poured in the milk. After that Nabisase added wedges of ginger. She cut the flame out as the tea bubbled to the rim then it settled to a flat formula. Steam rose as the drink breathed. She poured the tea through a strainer to collect the grains.
They were from her church, but who knew. Neither spoke of their Lord for half an hour. Eventually the conversation came around to Nabisase’s television appearance. They took so long to bring it up that they must have planned exactly how to talk about it.
– And when we realized that was you we almost fell over.
Merril, the bigger of the two said, –That’s right. She’s not lying. Mrs. Hubbard told us. She had you on tape! You looked so nice.
– I want to get a copy, my sister said.
– We could do that for you.
Devona said, – So many people at the church wanted to meet you af
ter we told them.
My sister asked, – Really?
– I’m talking about the kids your age. They wanted to listen to you. I mean, you’ve been on television. You could reach so many people.
Of the pair Merril was more serious-minded. Devona kept getting up to look at framed family photos on the entertainment unit. She’d ask who each person was. When those explanations were exhausted she couldn’t remain polite any longer. – What is that? she finally asked.
– Devona!
– I’m sorry, but I want to know.
– My mother made it, Nabisase said. It was a statue of Sidney Poitier that got broken.
– I wish we could have met her, Devona said.
Nabisase rubbed her solar plexus. – I don’t know. You might still.
I stopped crouching, stood, behind the door. Like that I could see that Nabisase had collected all those pieces she’d smashed when I opened Mom’s bedroom.
They were in a small orange flowerpot. Enough fragments to reach the rim. The only piece that had stayed recognizably facial was Mr. Poitier’s flat round nose. She’d set the nostrils on top of the pebbles and then put it out on the living room table. She must have done it today, after the movie. From where I was it looked like she was growing a person.
Devona touched the pot at the bottom. – I can see the nose looks nice.
– It was so good-looking before it fell, my sister said.
Nice! As in well done. This almost made me flop backward down the stairs. I thought she was lying, joking, deranged, but my sister’s wistful whisper suggested that she now remembered it that way. I imagined her telling Ledric: My mother was such a great artist. And believing.
After an hour of somber conversation Devona would have jumped through the big front window if she could have. As Merril and my sister were becoming even closer, Devona lost interest. She pushed her seat farther and farther from the table.
Merril said, – Let’s be straight now, Nabisase. What made you call us tonight?
My sister cried into her chest. Tears brought Devona back.
– I don’t want to hate anyone, my sister whispered. But I feel like I do.
Merril finished her tea, only a sip or two.
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