“What do you want?”
“Well, the night we were together, I wanted you.”
I clench my jaw, knowing there is always a but.
“You live in Idaho, would you be willing to move? I mean.” She shakes her head. “This is crazy talk. I mean, Wilder, maybe you don’t even want this baby.”
My eyes narrow, and I pull her to me, instinctively. Desperately. I pull her to my lap and let her sit there, not letting her go. She doesn’t want to, though. She wants me to tell her what to do. She wants help.
I can help her.
Damn, I can be a hell of a lot more for her, too.
“I want this baby. And I want you. Now.”
I kiss her then, a primal need deep inside me crying out as I make love to her sweet little mouth. Her lips part, my tongue finds hers and I hold her close.
She moans against me, my cock straining against my jeans, hungry and as needy as I am.
“Wilder,” she sighs against me, our lips bruised and still going back for more. “I need you.”
She slides down the bed, unbuttoning my jeans as she moves. She frees my cock and her eyes go dark, starved and ready for supper. Her hand wraps around my length, stroking me until I am under her complete control.
It doesn’t take long.
Her mouth is on me, and I’d say, no, let me take care of you first, but damn, after one second of her perfect mouth wrapped around my cock, I know this is what I need.
I swear I’m about to fucking cry, as I sink into the bed beneath her touch. These past months have been so long, so fucking hard, and being here with Stella makes me think that maybe it won’t always feel so hard, so impossible.
She takes me deep into her throat, my cock pulsing against her, and runs her hands over my balls, holding them as they tighten from her sucking, from the growing release that is about to shoot forth.
“Oh, Stella,” I groan, my come filling her mouth, and I look at her bent over me, swallowing my seed, taking all of me, already full of me. She is the mother of my child, my baby is deep within her womb and dammit I said I wasn’t going to cry, but fuck.
My life is out of control, but right now, I’m glad this life I have is mine.
Chapter Ten
Stella
With Wilder’s salty come in my mouth, I know that he is a good, true man and after he comes, and after I swallow, I look up at him and see a tear fall down his cheek.
A single tear that doesn’t say anything besides the one thing that matters: He’s in this with me.
I crawl back into his lap; his hard cock still in my hand, because for some reason the last thing I want, is to let go.
Smiling I say, “You’re sensitive too.” I let go of his raging cock, and wipe the tear from his cheek.
His eyes close, as if embarrassed, but when he opens them there is no shame, only care, concern. Loyalty.
“You are too, Stella. You are all torn up about what happens next, but the good thing is, we have plenty of time before the baby is born to figure that all out.”
I nod, and maybe I don’t exactly believe him, but I’m not in the mood to argue.
“It’s been a long day,” I tell him.
Wilder coughs, his still hard cock in plain sight, his brows furrow, but he isn’t pushing for what I know he wants. He thinks I’m ready for bed, poor gentleman. He moves to put himself away, but I take his hand, lace my fingers through his.
“No, Wilder. It’s been a long day and I would love a bath. With you. There is a huge Jacuzzi tub made for two.”
He grins, eyes raised. “Thank god, woman.”
I laugh, and then let him strip me down to nothing as we run the bath.
His torso is so sculpted, strong, his back covered in muscles. He says he builds houses, and now I can see he works with his hands.
“You look so beautiful,” he tells me, once my clothes are shed.
I appreciate that he likes the way my body was made, the curve of my waist and hips, the smallness of my breasts, that it is all attractive to him.
He cups my breasts like he did last time we were together and my nipples harden under his touch, loving the way I feel precious and tender under the palm of his hand.
My tummy is still mostly flat, but there is an undeniable bump already forming.
“My sister tells me to watch my calories, that I shouldn’t be showing so soon, but I don’t care what she says. I’m growing a person and will eat whatever I damn well please.”
“Damn straight,” he says, smiling. “I like that. Your confidence, you’ve been working on it then?”
“I have, as a matter of fact.” I laugh, covering my face, suddenly embarrassed. “I’ve been working on a lot of things, actually.”
“Oh yeah?” he asks, stepping into the full tub, reaching for my hand.
“Mmmmmm.”
“Tell me, baby, tell me what you’ve been working on.”
He rests his back against the tub and I slip in on top of him, wanting to straddle him again, be close to him.
“I bought a dildo after we met.”
He whistles. “Damn did not expect that.”
I shrug, gathering bubbles from the Jacuzzi and covering my breasts with them. “I wanted to make sure the next time we fucked you’d fit.”
He groans, and I literally feel his cock against my pussy, as if growing from my simple sentence.
“Are you for real, baby?”
“Yes,” I tell him honestly. “I bought a big dildo and got it all lubed up, and thought about you. About your fingers in my pussy, fucking me. I’d get so horny, and the only way I could escape my agony was to push the big dildo in my pussy, and ride it like I was riding you.”
His hands are on my ass, touching my skin like he owns me and tonight he does.
“And did you like that? Did you like that dildo in your creamy cunt?” he asks.
“It was alright,” I tell him, my mouth inches from his. “But it wasn’t as good as your cock, Wilder. Nothing could satisfy me like that.”
I kiss him, our mouths made for one another, and all my fear and anxiety fly away as our bodies melt together. I lift my ass as he guides himself in me, and I ease my body against him.
Moaning, I’m filled with him, his cock deep inside me and I run my hand through my hair, unable to think straight, only able to see bright bursts of pleasure exploding inside me, covering me with a thousand sensations.
Most of all, I feel complete. Maybe I can make a little family with this man, a life with him. Our baby and the two of us and nothing more and nothing less. Maybe that is enough, maybe that is everything.
I rock against him, tears stinging my eyes, pleasure rushing over me, hormones surging through my veins.
I can do this.
We can do this.
It’s a lot more than I wanted to be handling, but with him helping me care for our child, maybe it could amazing.
Our foreheads rest against one another, his hand on the base of my neck, keeping me close, and in his hands, I feel his shelter. I sink into this feeling because tomorrow I will leave Spokane.
Maybe we can make this work, somehow, but the pieces won’t be put in place in one night.
Tomorrow I’m going home, to the doctors, then to start my new job.
“Don’t cry, baby,” he tells me, coming in me as I come in him.
“They’re happy tears,” I tell him, panting as my pussy walls tighten, expand, fill.
I don’t know what is going to happen with the two of us… but for now, we have tonight.
Chapter Eleven
Wilder
I wake with Stella in my arms, and I kiss her forehead as she stirs.
“Morning, baby,” I tell her. She opens her eyes, a sleepy smile on her face. She nestles closer, and all I can think is that I’ve got to tell her about my family.
“You snore.” She kisses my chest, before jumping up. “And I’ve gotta pee.”
She scoots off to the bathroom and I run my
hands over my face. I’ve gotta get it together. Stella deserves a full picture of my life, what I have to offer her.
What being with me means.
I pick up the phone and place an order with room service. When she comes back in she looks wide-awake, no early morning grogginess that I am usually battling.
Dammit. Speaking of early morning, I need to check in with Harper.
Grabbing my phone I send a quick text asking how the kids are. We finally got good cell service out there in the woods, and it’s nowhere near as off the grid as it was a year ago. Rosie and Harper insisted they need reception in case of an emergency.
“Who are you texting at seven am?” Stella asks, rooting around her suitcase and pulling on a tank top and panties.
“Oh, uh, a friend.”
“A friend?” Stella turns and smirks. “That’s sorta vague, isn’t it?”
I sit up in the bed, not wanting to tell her like this. “Look, if I tell you it’s gonna change things between us. And I don’t want that to happen.”
She purses her lips, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Are you with someone else?”
“What?” I scoff. “No, Stella, no. Not even close.”
“Then who were you texting? Who is this friend?”
“Her name is Harper, she lives up the mountain from me.”
“I’m not trying to sound all intense, and honestly, you can see whoever you want. It’s just I need to know. I need to know so I can plan for my future.”
“Everything I told you last night I meant. I mean.”
“Can I read the text then?”
“You want my phone?” I lift it up, handing it to her. “I don’t care if you read every email I ever sent. Damn, baby.”
“Now you think I’m all intense.” She waves her hands in front of herself. “I’m sorry. I’m being crazy.”
I push the phone toward her, wanting her to know I have nothing to hide. “You aren’t crazy. Just read what I sent.”
Stella takes my phone, pulls open my messages.
Out loud she reads, “Just checking on the twins. Briar sleep okay? She’s pretty particular. Finn okay? I’ll be home this afternoon. You’re a godsend....” She looks up at me scowling. “What the hell does that mean?”
I exhale, raising my hands in defeat. Losing a game I never wanted to play with her. “It means I have twins. Briar and Finn.”
“What?” She looks back at the phone. “What do you mean you have twins? Like twin puppies or twin goldfish?”
I shake my head. “Twin babies. Briar and Finn are six months old human being.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Stella looks back at the texts, disbelief written on her face and I hate that I’ve upset her.
Just then, the phone pings, a text received. Stella looks at the screen, raises an eye, doesn’t even read the message. “It’s her. Your wife or whomever.” She throws the phone at me.
I grab it, reading the text.
Harper: The babies are fine. They slept well. Hope things went well with Stella. Jaxon said to call if you need anything.
I hand her the phone. “Jaxon is Harper’s husband. They took the babies last night so I could come here. So I could see you.”
She reads the message, still confused so I try and fill in the gaps.
I explain the accident, how my brother and his wife died, how overnight I became the guardian of two of the sweetest babies on the planet.
I try to say it without getting choked up, and damn, Harper and Rosie were fucking right. I needed a night away because these past months have rocked my world.
And so has Stella.
Meeting her technically made me a father, but in other ways, the twins made me a dad. And I don’t want to apologize for them, for the way they inevitably change the way our life might be.
“This is a lot to process, Wilder.” Stella sits on the edge of the bed, and as she does, there’s a knock at the door — room service.
Once the coffee and French toast and fresh fruit are delivered, and the staff person is gone, I take Stella’s hand. “Look, we still have all morning together. Can we have breakfast in bed and try to see how we can move forward?”
Stella runs her hands through her hair. “I don’t know, Wilder. Being a mother to one baby is scary enough… I don’t see how you and I can work; taking on all of that responsibility is more than I can handle.”
My jaw tenses, I don’t want to get angry, but Stella doesn’t seem to understand that Briar and Finn aren’t just a responsibility. They are my family. The same way our baby is.
“Stella, I don’t want to fight, but dammit, if you want me, I’m a whole fucking package.”
“I just need to think this all through. It’s too much to process all at once. I think I should take some time and figure some things out.”
I snort. I didn’t have time to process either. Sometimes life is more complicated than we ever expected, doesn’t mean we just get to pack up and head out because it’s hard.
No.
When things are hard that’s when you give it all you got. When you stay. Like Jaxon’s family has done. Like Buck’s family has done.
“Just like that, you’re done with this conversation, done with me?” I ask.
“I’m not saying that to be cruel, but this is my life too, Wilder. You’re already a parent —I’m not. And I’m overwhelmed. I’m starting a new job and have a life that is separate from you. I’m not ready to give that all up for a man I hardly know.”
I stand, reaching for my clothes, wanting to get back to the mountain before I say something I’m going to fucking regret. I grab a notepad from the bedside table and write down my number.
“Listen, Stella, go figure out your shit, call me when you know what you want. Because baby, I already know what I want. You. But the truth is, you can’t be my everything because two other children need pieces of me too.”
Chapter Twelve
Stella
When Wilder leaves the hotel, I break down. This pregnancy has made me emotional sure, but the information Wilder delivered has me more than a little teary-eyed.
Part of me feels horrible for not just wrapping my arms around him and telling him, sure Dean Wilder, I’ll be your baby-mama and move to who knows where and do this with you.
But another part of me clings to the reality that I have an entire life that is just beginning. A life with a job I took so I’d be able to buy my freedom.
I take the first flight home I can find, ignoring my sister's text as I board the plane.
Anna: So, did he show?
Ten minutes later, she texts again, and I know I need to answer so she doesn’t worry.
Anna: Hello?! Are you okay?
Me: He showed. It got complicated. I’ll see you tomorrow.
I power off my phone, exhausted, and try to sleep.
* * *
The next morning Anna is at my apartment bright and early.
“Wow, look at you, managed to come all the way to Capital Hill to fetch me?” I tease, knowing she hates my neighborhood.
Stepping inside my studio she offers me a latte and a pastry bag.
“You’re gonna have to move out of here before the baby comes, you know that, right?”
“I know. That’s why I have this job for the summer with the TV show. It will fund my life.” I pull out a warm croissant and stuff it in my face. How could I not inhale the buttery goodness?
“Does that mean this guy you hooked up with doesn’t want to be the dad?”
I hadn’t called her yesterday to fill her in, mostly because I was still trying to gather my thoughts.
Am still trying to gather my thoughts.
How can I want something desperately and at the same time be so scared of it?
“Oh no, he wants to be the dad. He pretty much told me I was everything he ever wanted. I mean, it was really romantic.” I swallow -- the romance between Wilder and me isn’t the issue.
Romance fades. Is i
t enough to stake my life on? The life of this baby on?
Anna sighs, visibly relieved. “Thank God. I thought he was going to be some crazy man.”
I smirk. “He is crazy. I mean, he would be perfectly happy with me dropping my life and moving to the woods to be with him.”
“And you don’t want that?”
I shake my head. I haven’t ruled out the idea, but I am nowhere near ready to genuinely consider it.
Anna purses her lips. “How in the woods are we talking? Does he have a job? Does he seem normal?”
I grab my purse and we walk out the door, down the three flights of steps to the sidewalk where Anna’s town car is waiting for us.
“He seems normal,” I tell her as we slide into the leather seats. “He’s responsible, builds houses... has friends. No red flags.”
As the car pulls up to the clinic, Anna twists her lips and says. “You aren’t just planning your own life anymore. You have to think about this child too.”
I never hear my sister -- whose priorities are as messed up as my personal life -- speak with such sincerity. It forces me to listen.
“Anna, I’m not ruling a relationship with Wilder out... but I’m not going to be with a man just because I need his financial and emotional support.”
Anna nods, but the corners of her eyes fill with tears, she is being vulnerable in a way her glossy exterior rarely allows. “That’s really brave of you, Stella.”
She squeezes my hand, and then start to open the car door.
I take a deep breath and tell her the rest.
“Wilder already has twins.”
She pulls the car door shut, eyes wide.
“What?”
I explain about his brother’s accident, the funeral, and the babies. How yesterday morning when he told me, I responded in fear. How I’m not very brave at all.
“So now do you see why it isn’t so easy? The other night, before I knew about the babies, I really thought maybe he and I, and this child, that we could make it work. That our story would be this crazy whirlwind, but to be a parent to two more kids?”
The Mountain Man’s Babies: Books 1-5 Page 27