But unless Hawk wants to take care of me and the boys... I can’t see a future with him. Not now, not like this. We can’t stay at Jaxon and Harper’s place forever.
“Honor,” he says, walking back into my bedroom. “Baby, it’s gonna be okay.” He pulls me into a hug, and we stand in my bedroom, the queen-size bed flanked by cribs on either side. This room is so full.
Full of pain for the past. And full of fear for our future. I close my eyes, breathing him in. Not wanting to let go.
He wraps his arms more tightly around me, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I love you, Honor,” he tells me.
The room is so quiet; all I hear is the breathing of my boys. The beating heart of my man. And I don’t want to go back to Luke. Imagining True and Kind’s life is painful, picturing them being at the mercy of a man who is full of anger... but then I imagine my life.
And I know who I want.
What I want.
For me, and for my boys.
“Did you hear me?” he says again.
“I love you, too.” I muffle a sob into his chest, he smells like strength and steadies me like an anchor.
“I loved you the moment I saw you,” he tells me, kissing my forehead, refusing to let me go.
“You’re not just saying that, so I won’t go back to Luke?”
He rests his chin atop my head. “I’m not just saying that for anything. It’s the goddamn truth, Honor. I love you. And I don’t know how to take care of you yet, but that’s what I want to do. And I want to figure out how to be the man you need.”
Tears stream down my face. I’m scared my crying is going to wake up the babies, so I take his hand and guide him back to his bedroom.
In his room, I turn off the lamp and I let my bathrobe fall to the ground, let him pull me to him. And in seconds both of us are in the bed, tangled around one another, our confession propelling us toward the physical manifestation of our love.
His mouth is on my breasts, on my belly, on my entrance, between my thighs. His tongue licks me, my wetness seeping against his beard, and him lapping it all up. His tongue flicks over my clit and I wrap my legs around his head, bringing my core closer to him as he devours me. His tongue flicks against me, causing a cascade of pleasure to roll through my body. My back arches, my body held by his hands. He pushes down my knees, licking me more completely, sucking on me until there is nothing left for my body to do but cry out in ecstasy.
His hand covers my mouth as he tries to hide my screams, but the orgasm is rushing over me so hard, so fast. His eyes are on mine and he says again, “I love you, Honor.”
I squeeze my eyes shut tight, feeling the tears streaming down my face.
I nod and he moves his hand away.
“I love you, too,” I tell him between the tears and pleasure and the relief and the truth. I love him in ways that feel too good to be true. More than I deserve or ever expected. I love him and he loves me and I come hard, against him. I come hard, with him.
I reach for his cock, stroking the long shaft, feeling how velvety smooth he is, my body wanting his so badly. Now and forever and for always.
His balls are tight in my hand and everything about his cock makes my body excited. When he fills me up I feel so good. I need to feel that way right now. He pulls me over onto all fours, runs his hand over my ass, between my legs, feeling my wetness. He cups my pussy like it is his, his fingers pressing inside of me, and I moan as he touches me so perfectly. I feel his cock edging against my ass.
“Is your pussy ready for me?” he asks.
I grin, feeling so good. “My pussy was made ready for you. It loves you. Just like I do,” I tell him as he presses himself inside of me, my arms resting on the pillow, and I try to muffle my voice as I moan, loudly.
“Yes, Hawk,” I whimper. “Yes, baby, fill me like the bad boy you are.” My body shakes as he thrusts deep inside of me.
His hands are on my waist as he plows into my pussy, just like he likes it, just the way I need it.
“I love you so fucking much,” he tells me.
I pull up on my knees, my hands over my head reaching for his face, pulling him toward my neck and he kisses my ears and my shoulders, his hands cradling my breasts, pulling himself hard against me.
Together we come, him filling me with his creamy release over and over again. Our bodies are slick with sweat, drenched in pleasure. The memory of pain floating away from us like a distant memory. It’s as if the only thing we’ve ever experienced is absolute perfection.
“I fucking love you,” Hawk says as he comes in me with a crash. My pussy drips with pleasure, my body on fire.
“I love you too, baby. Yes, yes, yes,” I cry, this time my pleasure isn’t muffled by anything. This time my pleasure is revealed. And with Hawk deep inside me, both of us naked, in love, and dripping wet, his bedroom door flings opens.
“What the fuck?” Jaxon hollers, walking in on us.
I fall to the bed, Hawk’s thickness pulling from me.
He told me he loves me and now there’s going to be hell to pay.
Chapter Sixteen
Hawk
I knew our nightly rendezvous was eventually gonna bite us in the ass. I didn’t think it was going to happen when I was literally holding onto her ass, fucking her from behind.
But now she’s wrapped up in a sheet on my bed, and I’m pulling on my boxers as Harper and Jaxon enter the bedroom side by side.
“Benjamin, are you kidding me with this?” Harper asks. She grabs Jaxon’s arm, trying to make sense of what she sees.
“Give us a second,” I say, not wanting them to see the woman I love in such disarray.
“You want a second?” Jaxon asks. “I let you stay in my home, I trusted you. You’re working on my crew by day and at night you’re fucking Honor? You know how much she’s been through, the last thing she needs is—”
Honor raises her voice and cuts him off. “You don’t know what I need, Jaxon. I need Hawk.” Honor clutches the bed sheets around her as Harper flicks on the light, and its glare falls across all four of us.
The same way I’m glaring at Jaxon now.
“This is ridiculous, Honor, go to bed. And you, Hawk, I want to see you outside,” Jaxon yells.
I don’t give a fuck what he wants right now. “You can’t talk to her that way,” I growl at him. “That’s the last fucking thing Honor needs.”
Jaxon laughs sharply. “Oh, as if you know what she needs?” He says it so dismissively as if I couldn’t have a motherfucking clue.
That’s the problem with Jaxon, though; he thinks he knows what he just walked in on, but he has no clue. I promised to take care of Honor and her babies, and I’m not taking that lightly.
“I don’t want to fight,” Honor says. “The kids are asleep. I just wanted...” Honor wraps the sheet around her and runs from the room toward her bathroom locking the door. I look at Harper and Jaxon, shaking my head. “Is that what you wanted to have happen? Honor felt safe with me—”
Harper cuts me off. “It’s because you’ve tricked her. She’s vulnerable right now, Ben. You don’t actually want to take care of her. You just want to have a good time.” Her eyes are fierce. I understand why she’s being protective of Honor, but her desire to protect is getting in the way of reason.
“I can’t have you here. I can’t have you in this house if you’re using her this way,” Jax says. “Goddammit, Hawk. What the fuck are you thinking?” He runs his hands through his hair, looking furious.
But I’m furious too.
“Fuck you, Jaxon. I’m doing nothing wrong here. I love that girl.”
Jaxon sneers. “You have no fucking clue what love means. Honor needs time and space to heal. She doesn’t need a man like you—”
“A man like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I ask, pulling on my pants and grabbing my T-shirt.
“It means you don’t exactly have a track record for taking care of people.”
“Fuck
that. All I ever do is take care of people. Why do you think I got in trouble time and time again? It’s because I’m trying to take care of—”
Harper cuts me off again. “Taking care of people and using people are two different things. And besides, you can’t exactly take care of Honor and her three children. You don’t have a house for them. All you have is a truck. Do you have any idea what health insurance costs? A mortgage? Do you have any clue how much money it costs to feed three children? Diaper them?” Harper shakes her head. “Believe me, I know how hard it is.”
“You want me to leave?” I ask them. Knowing that it’s going to eat Honor up inside. It’s going to fucking kill her. This is not what she needs right now. She needs comfort and security and the people who love her by her side.
“You need to go.” Jaxon shakes his head, walking out of the room. Harper follows and I walk over to the bathroom door, knocking on it as softly as I can, turning the knob. But it’s locked.
“Honor? Honor, baby, open up.”
I hear her sob. But she doesn’t open the door.
“I don’t want to cause any problems,” she says. “Please, Hawk. I can’t ruin things for any more people.”
“That’s insane, Honor. I love you. Open the door.”
“Just go,” she says through muffled sobs. “Please.”
I punch the wall, pushing my fist through the plaster, so fucking pissed. Honor won’t open the door and Jaxon and Harper want me gone.
This is fucking insanity. My life finally seemed to finally be making sense, and then in one fell swoop, Jaxon and Harper think they can take it all away.
I cram my clothes in my duffel, lace up my boots, not even stopping to say anything to Jaxon and Harper on my way out.
Jaxon tries to stop me. “Listen—”
“Hell no,” I tell him. With my knuckles bleeding and my heart racing, I don’t trust myself to hold back from swinging more punches. “I’m not gonna listen to you. You have no idea what you’re doing here.”
I throw my bag in the bed of my truck and jump into the driver’s seat.
Driving down the mountain, I’m full of rage.
I need to get my woman back.
And one way or another, I damn well will.
—
I decide to stay at the hotel in town. It's a piece of shit hotel. Well, it’s actually a motel. I decide to stay in town because I can't drive away from the mountain. From Honor. I sure as hell can’t show back up at Jaxon’s place because I’m pretty damn sure he’s gonna pull out a shotgun if I do.
But I can’t leave.
I need Honor back.
I feel like shit leaving her that the way I did.
It’s only been a day, though, and I can’t very well show up at Jaxon’s house and tell Honor to pack up the babies and follow me.
This motel is no place for a baby. For all four of those angels. Timothy, Thomas, Titus, and Honor deserve a fucking palace. Not this shitty place.
I head over to the diner, starving, and trying not to get emotional over my memory of the last time I was here. How Honor and I drank our coffee and ate our cherry pie; how the whipped cream on her fork had tempted me.
It was where we started our torrid love affair.
The waitress points to a booth and walks over with a coffee pot and a menu.
She’s the same waitress as before. Bright red lips, tiny waist, wide hips, the kind of girl who looks like she could be a 1950s-pinup girl. Her tits are pushed high, her hair wavy, and she smiles widely at me. And after the screaming last night I heard from Jaxon, I don’t mind the friendly face right now.
And while she may be beautiful, she’s not the kind of beauty that gets me hot. The beauty I love is the sort that Honor wears... understated and ingrained. Honor’s beauty is timeless and forever. She is a summer breeze, and she floated into my life when I least expected it. She gave me purpose and gave me meaning. She is more than beauty, she is the proof of the power of love.
“Regular or decaf?” the waitress asks.
“Regular.”
“I’m Josie, and you are? I saw you here about a month ago.”
“Yeah, I’m Hawk. I’ve been staying on the mountain. Working for my cousin Jaxon’s crew.”
Josie nods, a hand on her hip, pouring the coffee. “Oh, yeah I know about the boys. Rosie, she’s the one who owns this place—Buck’s wife? Anyway, they were so good to me when I came into town a few months back. Gave me a job here and treat me like family.” She smiles again. “So, what can I getcha?”
“I’d like scrambled eggs and bacon. Toast, too.”
“Sounds good, sweetie,” Josie says, winking. She turns away, just as the front door opens and Buck walks in.
“Morning, Boss,” she says. “Just you today?”
“Just me, here to grab a cup coffee before I head to the job site.” Buck looks over and sees me and nods in my direction. He calls out to Josie, “Actually, I’ll have my regular breakfast. I’m gonna sit here with Hawk for a bit.”
Josie nods before heading back to the kitchen.
Buck slides into the booth across from me.
My stomach is in knots. I can guess with one look at him, but he’s already talked to Jaxon. Just what I fucking need to start my day.
“You’re not gonna be at the job site today, then,” Buck says slowly.
“Don’t suppose I am.”
Buck coughs, as if uncomfortable. “You know, Jaxon can be a little bit of an asshole. When I talked to him this morning, though, it’s more than him just being stubborn. He’s pretty fucking pissed.”
“I don’t doubt it,” I say staring at my black coffee.
“So, what’s the plan here?” Buck asks as Josie walks over, pouring his coffee.
After she walks away, I look up at him. “The plan? I have no fucking clue. I have a million things to do before I can get her back.”
Buck raises a brow in surprise. “You want her back?”
“What the hell kind of question is that? Of course, I want her back.”
Josie delivers our food, but suddenly I don’t have an appetite.
“We’re talking about Honor here? That’s the girl you want back?” Buck asks, pouring hot sauce on his scrambled eggs.
“Who else would we be talking about? I love her. I love her babies. I met her in this diner, sitting across from her and I knew. The moment I saw her, I knew that she was going to be my woman. I can’t lose her because Jaxon and Harper think our love is wrong. I’ll do anything to have them back. Jaxon didn’t want to hear any of that. He just assumes—” I shake my head. I don’t have the energy to fight with someone else.
“Damn, I had no idea you felt that way.”
“Yeah, well it’s our business. Nobody else’s.”
“I hear where you’re coming from. Hell, I know that better than anybody else. I fell in love with Rosie right here in this diner, too. I know a thing or two about love at first sight. So, if you really love this girl, if you really want this girl, Hawk, you better make a few hard choices. It’s time for you to step up and be a man.”
“Right, I understand that. I just feel like there are a hundred things I need to do before I can claim her as mine.”
“Starting with getting a house, I suppose?” he asks.
“Yeah, and a fucking job. Sounds like Jax took me off the crew. And the mechanic shop I used to work at, hardly gave me enough hours to take care of myself, let alone a family.”
I shake my head, not really wanting to uproot Honor to some unknown city—Honor needs a support system, and if I go open a mechanic shop it’s gonna take months to get it off the ground. We need a steady paycheck right now.
I look over at Buck, shaking my head. “You know, I thought the world was finally on my side. That all the cards were falling into place, but it was a fucking fantasy. Now I know exactly what I want, but have nothing to offer the woman I love.”
“Man, I know you’re bent out of shape, probably didn’t sleep all
night, but you need to get your act together. She doesn’t love you because of your money, she doesn’t love you because of your job. She loves you because of the man you are, the man you probably promised her you’ll be.”
I exhale, shaking my head. “I need to go back to the city then, find work there.”
“Hell, don’t let Jaxon push you around. You can get back on his crew, he just needs to know that whatever you are intending to do with Honor is pure.”
“You think if I get my shit together, come back to Honor with something more to offer than my pickup truck, he might understand?”
“Hard to refuse a man willing to commit to a woman.”
“I love this mountain. I love this work. I told you at the barbecue, how I thought I’d spend my life in a mechanic shop, but that was before I spent any time in the great outdoors.”
Buck nods his head slowly. “You know, I’m co-owner in the business. You want to stay on the crew, you fucking can.”
“Oh yeah. You think Jax will like that?”
“Jaxon doesn’t have to know a thing about it. You’ve been working on the house out on old Mill Road? It’s not done, right?”
“Yeah, there are just a few loose ends to tie up. They are bringing out appliances tomorrow. The whole thing can go on the market in about a week.”
Buck nods slowly. “You need to buy yourself that fucking house.”
I run my hands over my beard. “You're right, man. It’s not much, but it would be a home. There are only two bedrooms, but that’s enough space for us to start with.”
“You think you could get together a down payment?” Buck asks.
“Yeah, I was thinking I oughta sell my truck anyway.”
“If you need any help, I can always—”
I shake my head. “No, I have about 20 grand in the bank. I was saving it to open my mechanic shop. I never thought of buying a house, I thought I was too young to settle down like that.”
“But now?” Buck asks raising his eyebrows.
“Now I don’t want to be fucking anywhere but here. Now I want to stake a claim for my family.”
The Mountain Man’s Babies: Books 1-5 Page 37