Standing Bear had hoped hearing Alax say his name and almost beg him to quench her thirst for him would ease his guilt. But as he lay with the woman, while she mindlessly traced his ribs, all he could be sure of was that he had only claimed her body.
Knowing the next question he planned to ask her would either lessen some of his emotions or make his life miserable, he did his best to speak without allowing his emotions to bleed through. “I am going to ask you a question and I need the truth. Can you promise me that? The truth, no matter what it is,” he began.
Alexandria raised her head and looked at him with a puzzled look on her face. “I promise, if it is that important to you.”
Standing Bear sighed deeply, slowly moved away from Alexandria, stood, and began dressing.
Alexandria sat up and covered herself with the robes, waiting for him to ask the question that seemed to weigh so heavy on his mind.
“Do you love me?” he asked, turning away from her.
“Of course I do,” she answered quickly, before standing to move beside him. “You know that.”
A warmth filled Standing Bear when he heard her answer. It was the one thing he had prayed he’d hear since they had been together. A tear threatened to fall, so he wiped his eyes quickly.
He turned when he felt her hand on his arms.
“What is the matter?”
“You are naked,” he observed, bending to place a kiss on her collarbone before moving to the nape of her neck. “I believe we can finish this discussion later,” he decided as he attempted to lift her into his arms.
Alexandria pulled away. “No. I want to finish this.”
Standing Bear wasn’t happy with her demand but moved away to continue to dress. She had said she loved him, but he still couldn’t allow himself to be happy. After he tied his knife to his leg, he spoke again. “Do you love me the same way as you love Running Elk?”
The lengthy silence his question received forced him to slowly face the woman.
“I love you as I have any other man in my life … except Running Elk,” she answered quietly.
Standing Bear was hurt, but again, his emotions were all his fault, so he nodded before speaking, just to ensure he would be able to keep his voice even. “I asked for the truth, so it would seem I am going to have to live with it.”
As he spoke, he claimed her in his arms.
“I know I owe you my life and my son’s. I will continue to be happy with you. How could I not be? You are a good man,” she spoke into his chest as she held him tightly. “I miss my son. Would you come to Abigail’s with me?”
Standing Bear knew being in his cousin’s company wouldn’t help with his guilt, but he was slowly realizing nothing would help as long as he held so tightly to Alax. “No. I have to speak to my father. But I will return soon. Tell Abigail hello for me,” he said before leaving the tipi.
***
Alexandria slowly dressed, rethinking the conversation she’d just had with Standing Bear. It was not like him to speak Running Elk’s name, but he had stressed how badly he wanted the truth. She hadn’t wanted to hurt the man, but it seemed she had. She might have given up on Running Elk coming for her, but she would never stop loving the man, no matter how hard she tried.
Only a week after the war party returned, they were planning on leaving again. Standing Bear had brooded the whole time he was with Alexandria. He was absent during the days, and at night he would loving beg Alexandria to speak his name when he took her as his.
Alexandria didn’t care for being alone and had asked several times that he spend more time with Little Eagle and her. His response was the warrior and elders needed him to help prepare for the coming battle.
The morning he was to leave, Alexandria lay in the sleeping warrior’s warm, muscular arms and attempted to vanquish the dream that had awoken her. As hard as she tried to do just that, she soon realized she couldn’t shake the images of Standing Bear being killed in the battle. Thinking that getting some fresh air might help, she attempted to slip away to go outside. As soon as she moved, he pulled her closer. Alexandria knew from the change in his breathing that he was awake. He slowly opened his eyes and saw the look of terror on her beautiful face.
“What is the matter?” he asked sleepily.
“I want you to stay home. Do not go today. Stay with me,” she pleaded, trying to stop the tears from forming in her eyes.
“I would if I could, but I am needed,” he explained, cradling her close to him. “We will not be gone long.”
“I don’t want you to go. They will be fine without you. Please stay.”
“Alexandria, I will be home soon,” he promised as he ran his hand through her golden tresses before kissing her deeply.
“I pray you are right, Standing Bear.”
“Fear not. Now get out of bed, you lazy woman, and help me prepare to leave,” he said teasingly.
“If I get up, will you stay?” she asked hopefully as she grabbed the warrior around the waist.
“Woman, I don’t have time to play,” he said, gently throwing her on the pallet and rolling on top of her.
“Make time. I really want you to stay,” she said, pulling his face close and kissing him deeply.
“I would if I could. But you are a warrior’s woman. Instead of enticing me to stay, be proud of me.” His tone was slowly turning from playful to concerned.
“I am proud of you. I just have a bad feeling. It isn’t about me doubting your fighting ability,” Alexandria said, kissing him again before standing and dressing. Banishing the visions from her dream wasn’t easy, but she knew he was right. She had to be strong and have faith he would return to her. It wasn’t the first nightmare she’d had, and she was sure it wouldn’t be her last.
“It is normal to fear for those who leave, but you will be back in my arms very soon,” he assured her as he walked towards the sleeping Little Eagle. “I will see you soon, son. Take care of your mother and keep her safe,” he said, gently patting the sleeping child’s chest.
The Kiowa warrior grabbed his pack and walked outside.
Alexandria followed. “We will be awaiting your return,” she said, holding him one more time.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Standing Bear hadn’t let Alexandria see just how much her begging him to stay affected him. Her words were tearing his heart out. If not for the shame it would have brought to his family, he might have considered staying. Between the nagging guilt, and the shameful need for her, he hoped the ride to Quanah’s Quahadi band would give him time to think.
By early afternoon, the Kiowa ranks doubled in size. The Quahadi warriors slipped into step, almost silently.
As soon as the group melted into the ranks, he heard Running Elk’s voice behind him.
“Little Eagle, I need to speak to you,” the Comanche warrior voiced as he rode beside Standing Bear.
“It is good to see you are well,” Standing Bear greeted halfheartedly as he slowed his horse’s pace.
“And you. I would like to ask you a few questions. Do you know of a white woman with golden hair in your camp? Her name is Alexandria.” Running Elk began his interrogation without giving Standing Bear time to say no.
Standing Bear couldn’t help but notice how the Comanche warrior’s voice softened when he said her name. He had hoped that their meeting would be much like the previous one, yet Running Elk’s question was putting an end to that possibility.
Standing Bear took a deep breath before answering. “Alaxandra,” he repeated the name as Running Elk had spoken it. “There are many white women in our camp. I do not know all of their names,” he lied.
“From what I have gathered, she lives with a warrior named Standing Bear. He is supposed to be one of your best warriors, and yet I heard none speak of him the last time we were together. He was with your band this winter.”
Standing Bear quickly looked at Running Elk. “How can you be sure?”
“I saw her. She is the woman I have lived
for, and when I was told she was with child, I had to see for myself. I rode to your camp and saw her standing outside of the man’s tipi. When I watched him put his arms around her, I left,” Running Elk explained.
“Did you see the man?” Standing Bear asked, knowing if the Comanche had, they would not be having this civil conversation.
“No. I felt it was time to give her up. And I honestly tried to. But my brother came to see me and informed me that I should question my rash decision.”
“What did your brother say to you?” Standing Bear asked as he stopped his horse.
Running Elk stopped beside him. “Do you know of the man I seek?”
“I do,” Standing Bear admitted after a long pause. “What do you want to know about him?”
Standing Bear noticed he and Running Elk were now alone. Everyone else had moved on while they talked. He wasn’t sure he was happy about the situation, but he had already answered Running Elk and knew there would be other questions. If the two were alone, maybe it would be easier to tell another untruth.
“Where is he?” Running Elk asked as he dismounted from his pinto. Standing Bear couldn’t miss the excitement in the man’s voice.
“He is not with us. He stays close to the woman,” Standing Bear lied as he dismounted so that he could be on Running Elk’s level.
Disappointment crossed the Comanche’s features. “Is the child a boy? Why does he risk dishonor by staying with her? Is he afraid she will run? When I last saw her, she didn’t seem to be in distress.”
Standing Bear listened to the list of questions and kept his attention focused on the trail the two were walking.
“I believe the child is a boy. Why do you ask?” he inquired, trying to hide his surprise.
“My brother, the shaman, told me as much. At least he saw that right,” Running Elk said, more to himself than the Kiowa. “Why does he stay with her?”
“From what I hear, he loves the woman powerfully,” he answered quietly, still not facing his walking partner.
“I can understand that. She is easy to love. Now tell me, Little Eagle … does she love him?”
Standing Bear took a second to answer the question. “I believe so. She stays with him. From what I’ve seen, she does not appear unhappy. Running Elk, I do not know the answer to that question!” Standing Bear growled. He was finding it increasingly difficult to speak of Alexandria.
Running Elk heard the irritation in the Kiowa voice.
“I have touched a nerve, haven’t I? You know the warrior better than you have been letting on. You must answer my questions,” Running Elk said, grabbing his walking partner’s arm. “You have to know how important this information is to me,” Running Elk stressed.
“I know nothing more than I have told you. The woman does not seem unhappy,” Standing Bear said defeatedly.
“Then tell me of the boy. Does the child look like the Kiowa?” Running Elk continued, undeterred.
“I have heard he does look like his father. And it is said the child has her strange eyes.”
“The babe has a fire in his eye?” Running Elk asked, letting go of his hold on the Kiowa. “I called her Two Fires because of her eyes,” he informed Standing Bear.
“The name seems just,” Standing Bear spoke as he remounted his ride. He knew if he didn’t put some space between them, he would not be able to keep his voice level. “There are more important subjects to speak about. It is not good to have a woman on your mind when preparing for battle. Nothing good will come of it. You need to clear your head. I do not want to make a habit of saving you,” Standing Bear said quickly, in hopes Running Elk would see his sound reasoning.
“You are right. But we will speak more about her later,” Running Elk informed him before kicking his horse and putting some distance between the two.
Standing Bear was relieved Running Elk was gone. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could have kept talking about Alexandria without giving himself away.
He quickly decided to listen to his own advice and attempt to push the whole situation to the back of his mind until after the battle. Then he would try to find a way to deal with Running Elk before returning to Alexandria.
Chapter Thirty
Running Elk rode from the tight-lipped Kiowa warrior to Kicking Bird’s side.
“Did you learn anything new?” his brother asked as soon as Running Elk’s horse fell into step beside him.
“Maybe … I couldn’t tell. I will speak to the man more later,” Running Elk answered, not attempting to hide the confusion he was feeling.
“I know this might be difficult to hear, but maybe you should not seek the man out again until the battle is over. I understand your situation, but we all know our minds need to be sharp.”
Running Elk considered his brother’s words. As badly as he wanted news, he had to admit Little Eagle had saved his life, so he owed the man.
“I know you are right, brother. I will stay away from him tonight.”
Kicking Bird smiled an appreciative grin. “I believe we are almost ready to rest for the night.”
Running Elk looked in the direction his brother was staring. Quanah and White Buffalo had stepped down from their horses and were in the middle of laying a blanket on the ground.
“I will catch up with you all in a few minutes,” Running Elk declared as he pulled his horse in the direction of the trees.
Running Elk wasn’t the most spiritual man, but he wanted to be alone while he prayed for Two Fires. The steps he had taken to locate her were excruciatingly slow, but they were movement. After praying, he dispatched several squirrels and carried them back to the others.
When he returned, he found Kicking Bird stoking the cooking fires. The sight made Running Elk laugh and, with all he was going through, it felt good.
After the warriors finished their meal and laid out their furs, they again began gathering in the center of the makeshift camp.
Before everyone had settled, the runner returned and informed both Quanah and White Buffalo that the soldiers were breaking camp. Moving at nightfall was not something soldiers usually did, but chasing the men wasn’t the best option either. The gathered warriors quickly decided it was best to surprise the men before they could leave.
Running Elk and Kicking Bird each held the end of a long leather strap and began felling the tents. He noticed Little Eagle stayed at the fringe of the melee.
Once the row of tents was down, the brothers separated and began riding back to the beginning of the camp. Running Elk rode past Standing Bear, yipping as he passed the Kiowa.
The resistance the soldiers were putting up was more than Running Elk anticipated. Bullets riddled the air and the only light was from the moon. Running Elk prepared to follow three soldiers as they ran towards their horses. The Comanche knew the men would not find their animals. They had been freed before any warrior rode into the temporary base.
Excitement coursed through Running Elk’s body. He noticed Standing Bear riding beside him at exactly the same time he watched a bullet smash through the Kiowa’s arm.
The force of the impact alone threw the Kiowa warrior from his horse. Running Elk masterfully changed his horse’s direction and reached for the wounded man.
Little Eagle was in an immense amount of pain but managed to grab ahold of Running Elk. As soon as he positioned himself behind Running Elk, a second bullet embedded itself in the Kiowa’s back.
Running Elk felt the impact first and, seconds later, he felt the weight of the Kiowa as he leaned into Running Elk. The Comanche quickly steered his horse away from the battle.
As soon as they reached a distance that was safe from the soldier’s powerful guns, Running Elk gently pulled the Kiowa from his horse. He laid the wounded warrior on the ground and tied a piece of leather around his arm in hopes of stopping the bleeding, or at least lessening some of the man’s pain, before cradling Little Eagle’s head in his arms.
“Little Eagle, I am truly sorry I could not repay th
e favor and save you.”
The Kiowa shook his head before speaking. “I … am …Standing Bear,” he admitted through labored breathing. “Alax … lives with … me. She … she … loves you. I used your … son’s name … as my … own. He was named … for Gray Eagle.”
Running Elk had watched far too many of his people die, but none had given him such life-changing information. It was difficult to hide his shock.
“You have been telling me falsehoods this whole time? Are you the one who wounded my nephew?”
“No. The boy was collateral damage, and I am sorry he was hurt. Go to Alax … tell her … my love was … real. She … wasn’t unhappy … with me. But … her love … her love … for you is still … strong. I am dying. And … I am … asking for … your forgiveness.”
Running Elk held the Kiowa warrior in his arms and knew if the warrior hadn’t been on the back of his horse, he would be the one mortally wounded. The Kiowa had once again saved Running Elk’s life but had been lying to him the whole time. His emotions were confused and jumbled.
“Standing Bear, I will mourn for you. You were a brave warrior. Your name will be remembered amongst your people. As much as I want to hate you, I cannot. Now go to the great beyond with peace in your heart.”
Standing Bear winced in pain and swallowed hard. “Go … to her. Tell her … I did what I did … because I … love …”
Standing Bear didn’t finish his thought before he was gone. The Kiowa warrior’s last thought had been of the woman he loved.
***
Running Elk stayed with the lifeless warrior until the battle was finished. Watching Standing Bear fall had caused him to lose the taste for bloodshed.
When the dust settled, Running Elk handed Standing Bear’s body to White Buffalo.
“I know the truth,” he informed the Kiowa. “This brave warrior is Standing Bear, your son, not Little Eagle. I will give Alexandria time to mourn, then I will come for her … and my son. Tell her nothing. We will be reunited soon enough. She must remember this brave man with friendship, not the hate she will surely feel when she learns the truth.”
Running Elk Page 14