by Kim Liggett
“I’m here,” I said, grasping her frail hands. My eyes stung from trying to hold back the tears. “Where have you been?”
“Coronado came for me in New York City, took me back to Spain. It didn’t take long for both of us to realize I wasn’t Katia’s vessel,” she said as she showed me the cuts on her wrist. “But you and your brother were already here, inside Quivira. She fooled us all.”
I thought of her studio on the day she disappeared, filled with crows—her scent all around me when we met Coronado at the perimeter. I couldn’t believe I didn’t piece it together.
“I can heal you,” I whispered as I cradled her arm in my hands. The cuts looked like they might be infected.
“No.” She pulled her hand back. “I don’t want to heal. This is how I can protect you. This is my destiny. Together, we can end this.”
Suddenly, my entire body tensed as I looked out over the corn. There was a darkness building, spreading out over the field like a storm cloud. It’s the same feeling I experienced when Katia summoned the Dark Spirit before the battle in 1861. The corn was hungry.
I looked back at Katia, who was swaying to the music of her own whispering, and a deep ache settled in my heart. As distorted and twisted as she’d become, I understood her. I felt her rage and despair and hopes and fears in every word she uttered.
“What’s happening?” Dane asked from behind me.
The dark energy pulsed over the field, screaming out for blood.
“She’s going forward with the ritual.” I gave him a bittersweet smile.
My mother’s eyes darted between Dane and me. She dug her nails into my arm. “You’re already blood bound?”
Sensing the tension, Dane said, “I’ll give you a moment,” before walking to the far end of the circle.
“It was my choice,” I said to my mother. An uncontrollable heat rushed to the surface of my skin just thinking about our private ceremony under Heartbreak Tree last night.
Her body went rigid. “You only think it was your choice.”
The first wave roared through the corn, taking down one of the soldiers and ripping his legs clean off his body.
“What are you talking about?” I searched the field, wondering how many of them were hiding in the stalks and why Coronado wasn’t signaling for them to run . . . or charge?
“He’s not what you think.” My mother’s eyes filled with tears.
Teresa said the same thing to me at the Mendoza lodge.
“Dane isn’t like his father,” I assured her over the horrifying wet screams of the Arcanum as the corn picked them off one by one. “You yourself told me we’re not responsible for the sins of our ancestors.”
“I was wrong,” she said as if she were swallowing thick chunks of glass.
“What are you saying?”
“Spencer chose to have a child with Teresa so he could have a son who was of Mendoza and Coronado blood—a cornwalker.”
“He’s a terrible man . . . I know this.”
“Dane is the one who’s been delivering the Larkins to Coronado all these years. He was supposed to deliver you to Coronado when you first came to Quivira, but he refused.”
“What are you talking about?” I looked at her like she was crazy. She was crazy. There was no other explanation. Why would she be saying this to me? What did she have to gain? I tried to pull away from her, but she only dug into my skin with more fervor.
“I was there, Ash. When Dane let go of you in the corn, he spoke with Coronado. They’ve known each other for years. Dane saw an opportunity at immortality and he took it, but he also saved your life.”
I didn’t want to believe it, but doubt quickly seeped inside of me, ripping me to shreds. The way Dane held out his hand on that first night, asking me to come with him into the corn, telling me we had to hurry, and the savage look on his face when we were interrupted. How he nearly led me right into Coronado’s arms the night of the bonfire, then changed his mind.
Rhys warned me over and over again and I didn’t listen.
I felt my world crumble. I wanted to burn down villages, cut out people’s beating hearts, and rip the stars down from the sky.
My entire body trembled as I turned to face him. I didn’t have to ask if it were true. I saw it in the deep flush creeping up the sides of his neck and the way he shifted his weight like he was getting ready to dodge a moving train. “You killed my family,” I said as I stalked toward him.
He held up his hands in front of him and tried to back up, but there was nowhere to go. “I . . . I was born into this, just as you were,” he tried to explain, his bright eyes clouded with tears.
“So, you knew all along I was the vessel,” I cried. “You lied to me. You manipulated me.”
Dane pulled me tightly to him; I writhed in his arms and tore myself away. “You were going to take me to Coronado, but you changed your mind. Why?”
“I was in love with you.” His voice caught in his throat. “I thought we could be together—”
“You knew I would blood bind to you. You saw a weakness in me and you took it. Because everyone knows the Larkin women are fools for love.”
“No, I . . . was . . . I couldn’t turn you over to him,” he said, his face contorted in agony. “I could never hurt you. Everything I did was to protect you.”
“Protect me?” I gasped. I looked back at Katia, hoping she’d smite him or something, but she was still lost in her own world of longing as she traced symbols in the dirt and chanted aloud.
“Ashlyn, please.” Dane sank to his knees before me. “I will spend the rest of eternity trying to make this up to you.”
“You have no eternity. Not with me.”
“We’re blood bound.”
“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have taken me to him in the first place. You wouldn’t have lied to me. You would’ve found a way to let me go.” Looking out over the bloodstained crops, my eyes filled with tears. “I’d rather be dead than be bound to someone like you.”
I felt the shame, hurt, and despair within him and I didn’t want to feel that right now. I didn’t want to feel him at all. I wanted to open my veins and spill him from my soul.
Not knowing what else to do I lashed out at him in murderous rage, my fists swinging wildly.
“Enough!” Katia turned her attention on me and took control of my body—I felt my ribs cracking but I didn’t care. I wanted to feel anything other than this betrayal.
I collapsed to the ground in agony.
Dane moved toward me to help me to my feet while Katia raised her hands to the sky, summoning another terrible wind, which wrapped around Dane’s body in a howling vortex, pinning him in place. I didn’t know if it was to protect him, or me.
I dragged my body toward my mother. I’d never felt so raw, haggard, and pathetic. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing. My heart felt like a thousand-pound brick dragging in my hollow chest.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” My mother’s eyes were dark and wild.
“Yes,” I answered through clenched teeth, glaring at Dane on the other side of the protective veil. Veins protruded from his neck as he tried to reach me, but it was futile, like trying to walk into a hurricane.
“There is a way out. But the pain has only begun,” my mother warned. “You’re going to feel like you can’t take another breath, like your heart can’t stand to beat another second. But in that suffering, you’ll find redemption, then freedom, and finally love. As much as it hurts, you must keep your heart open. That is the price you must pay.”
“I don’t understand.”
My mother held me close. “If you want to break the blood bond, you must find Aiyana. There are ways, but make certain it’s what you truly want. You will never feel as strongly for another human being as you do to the person you are bound to. Love is love, no matter how you come by it.”<
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I didn’t understand what she was saying. Soon, I wouldn’t be me anymore. The only chance I had of hanging on to some semblance of myself was through Dane and I could hardly stand to look at him. The eyes of my love and now my enemy.
46
VESSEL
“NINA, BRING HER to me,” Katia called, her black hair billowing around her face like agitated snakes.
My mother gathered her strength and helped me to my feet. She walked me to the edge of the chasm where Katia waited. I wanted to resist, I wanted to scream, I wanted to dig my heels in and fight, but I could feel Katia taking control of my body—shutting down my will. Raw power pulsed through every cell, luring me in like prey.
My mother whispered, “I loved you before you were even a complete thought in my mind. You gave me a reason to live, to fight, to remember that good still remained in this world. Katia let me go because you were already inside of me. I’ve been practicing for this moment my entire life—I just didn’t know I was practicing for you. You gave my life meaning and I will always be a part of you, but the time has come for you to let me go.”
I hugged her tighter, but she broke away from me and stepped back. A wave of pain swept over me, so crushing I thought it might bury me. I was grateful I got to see her one more time, but I knew this was truly good-bye. The next time she saw my face, I wouldn’t be me anymore.
My mother smiled. “I didn’t leave you unprotected.”
Despair and confusion gripped me.
“It’s time,” Katia announced.
I couldn’t believe it all came down to this. All of the struggle, all of the fighting, all of the pain added up to nothing. Katia got what she wanted, and so did Dane.
I felt the black silk ribbon slither from my neck and drift off into the corn. Without it, I felt hollow and cold. Just like Katia wanted me to feel. Just like I deserved. I was never anything more than a vessel.
47
THE KISS
KATIA RAISED HER ARMS to the dusky gray rose sky above the sacred circle and took in a deep breath. She fixed her eyes on me. I felt my chest inflate involuntarily, my lungs filling with tiny sparks of electricity and magic. She exhaled, breathing white flames onto my skin—a celestial fire. I wanted the fire to burn the flesh from my bones and char my memories, but I felt no heat from the flames.
The words that flowed from Katia’s mouth through mine felt as natural to me as a nursery rhyme, something that I’d known since the womb. “Kirikus icawatka ru’, cirasa ru’, kaawakit ru’ rikus kiru kiaarawataar,” we spoke.
Katia leaned forward to kiss my mouth, taking in a deep breath of the white fire that danced across my lips. I watched the flames move through her in a flash, releasing her soul from her body. Black vapor seeped from her mouth, creeping toward me like a sickness, and her body collapsed to the ground, like a snake shedding its skin. I felt her presence probing me, trying to find a place of weakness to get in. My mind told me to resist, but my body wanted to breathe her in, like the most beautiful perfume.
I heard my mother’s words in my ear. Uhurahak a u’ a—Let go and let yourself fall.
When I couldn’t hold it any longer, I took in one last deep gasp of air—every memory, every feeling, every dream, every fear collapsed upon me, imprisoning me. I felt like a stranger in my own body. At first I could hear my heart beat, like being in the womb. I felt the euphoric sensation of Dane’s presence. But I also felt myself disappearing, receding. Little by little being absorbed into my own bloodstream. Any hope that Dane and I had of being able to keep even a shred of ourselves was a beautiful lie. Nothing remained but despair and emptiness. I felt myself slipping away into the abyss.
I let go.
A ripping sensation etched through my chest—a sound of screeching agony escaped my lungs, as if my heart were being torn from my body with forceps. I came back to my senses to see the black inky tendrils of Katia’s soul suspended in midair, hovering between my mother and me. The tremendous force of pure energy my mother summoned as she chanted nearly took my breath away. Despite the chaos around us, my mother looked more radiant than ever, her chestnut hair flowing like that of a goddess, the golden light behind her illuminating her frame. I recognized the words; this was something she practiced at home all the time, but I never understood it until now. She always said she was practicing hanging on to her soul as the world collapsed around her and now she was using that same power to control Katia’s soul, to hold her at bay. But it was more than that . . . it was a resurrection chant.
My mother’s attention seemed to be focused on a spot beyond me. I turned, thinking she was looking at Dane or Coronado, but they were still trapped in Katia’s spell, looking on, completely helpless. But as I turned back, something caught my eye. Pale, narrow fingers clutching the edge of the chasm. My heart seized as I watched Marie climb out of the crevice. She walked straight toward me, blood dripping from the palm of her hand, She grasped my hand. The feel of her cold, slick skin pressing up against mine was like a dark memory—something buried deep within my soul—something inevitable.
My mother acknowledged Marie with her eyes. The resurrection chant was meant for Marie. No longer a ghost or a vision, she was completely corporal now, made of flesh and bone. And then in one forceful inhalation, my mother sucked in the black tendrils of Katia’s soul. My mother’s body shook, her eyes bulged, dark veins protruded from underneath her stretched skin.
Marie pried the golden blade from the hand of Katia’s discarded body and pressed it into my palm.
The knife molded to my hand as if it were meant to be there.
“It’s the only way.” My mother struggled to speak. “I won’t be able to hold her for long.”
Marie tightened my grip around the knife.
My knees buckled.
“No,” I whispered, horrified by the realization of what she wanted me to do.
“If you don’t do it,” my mother said, “Katia will take over your body and soul. Think of Rhys. He needs you.”
“I can’t,” I whispered. I closed my eyes to the horror before me and thought of my mother teaching me to swim in the Sargasso Sea, holding me up above her as the waves came crashing down. Showing me how gentle the world could be through nature and scent. Drying my tears with gold-tinged fingertips. Brushing my hair back from my damp cheeks, telling me how special I was. She taught me how to be brave, how to love—protected me at every turn. How could I end her life when she’d given me so much?
“Do it,” my mother grunted in pain. I opened my eyes to see her convulsing, struggling to keep Katia’s evil inside of her.
“I can’t!” I screamed. “I can’t let you go.”
“We’ll do it together.” My mother managed to smile through her pain.
She took my trembling hands within hers, placing the tip of the knife against her chest. Her beautiful moss-green eyes enveloped me with tremendous love and warmth.
Marie wrapped her arms around us both in a violent embrace.
I heard the golden knife slipping between my mother’s ribs, and felt the warm burst of blood as it entered her heart. Her jaw went slack, her eyes darkened, and her body went limp in my arms.
As I held on to her, a great radiance blossomed beneath my mother’s skin, until hundreds of tiny drops of light bubbled up, clinging to her like golden beads. I felt every one of them—each bead, a soul. The souls of my ancestors, the souls Katia had collected over the years.
I felt love, peace, and forgiveness beaming from her skin.
The golden beads intensified into tiny molten suns until a huge explosion ripped through her body, throwing me to the ground.
As my mother’s ashes rained down on me, I watched Marie grasp the ankle of Katia’s discarded body and drag her back toward the chasm. “A daughter’s love is the greatest love of all,” she cooed as she pulled Katia with her over the edge.
; 48
ASH
A SONIC BOOM ripped through the fields, collecting all the energy from the atmosphere. In a great show of power, the menacing wind encircling Dane and Coronado was pulled inside the chasm. Dane collapsed to the ground, gasping for air, while Coronado disintegrated into a pile of black blood, skin, and bones. The ground shook and heaved until the chasm surged together, leaving behind only a narrow crack in the earth’s crust.
As I lay there, facedown in the barren circle, I stretched out my hand, tracing my fingers over the thin crack in the earth. My mother made the ultimate sacrifice. Coronado and Katia were gone. Marie was finally at peace. I’d never felt such sorrow and relief—it was over.
With great effort, I pushed myself into a sitting position to find Dane digging through Coronado’s remains. He stood, wiping the blade of Coronado’s dagger clean on the side of his pants.
As I studied him, a tiny bit of static rushed through my heart.
He walked toward me. A deep chill raced through my bloodstream. Something was off.
His eyes carried a dark glimmer that didn’t belong there.
His gait.
His scent.
Sandalwood, mandarins, strawberries, and the sea invaded my nostrils—Coronado’s scent mixed with his own.
“It’s you.” I exhaled a tremulous breath.
“You’re a remarkable woman. Highly intuitive and very brave.”
He had Dane’s voice, but the phrasing was all wrong.
“How?” I asked in horrified awe.
He rolled up his sleeves, exposing the brand on his inner wrist. “Dane has been marked since birth. He’s always belonged to me. But I never imagined it would come to this. It was fate.”