Something in his response makes me snap and I can‘t control my reaction. “No, Jake, that’s not all you need to know and if you would take your head out of your ass long enough to let me explain, then maybe you’d understand what I’m trying to tell you!” My voice is loud and out of the corner of my eye I can see George stick his head out from behind the kitchen and then duck back out.
I grab Jake’s arm, trying to get him to look at me, and he winces and pulls away from me. At first I think he’s just trying to get away from my touch, but it’s more than that and then it hits me.
“You’ve been tatted.” As I say the words I wonder how it was possible that I hadn’t noticed it before. His new ink peeks out slightly from under his t-shirt sleeve.
“I’m an Angel now.” Jake says the words in such a matter-of-fact way that it takes me a moment to realize what it is that I’ve just heard. “Well, not quite yet, there’s still one more thing I have to do.” He looks between me and the cash register. Suddenly it all makes sense.
“This is your initiation.” The words ring dully in my ears and I wonder how I could have been so stupid not to have realized what was going on before. “You’re not here to see me. You’re here because they sent you.”
Jake has the decency to look sheepish and, just for a second, I see a crack in this armor of indifference that he’s put on and the real Jake comes shining through. I see the good, strong, honorable man that had been my best friend for years and who had become the love of my life.
I look past Jake and down the steep stairs to the street. I think I already know who it is that I’m going to see before I even manage to focus my eyes on him. Ryan is leaning lazily against his bike as if this is the most boring night of his life, but his gaze is trained on both of us.
There’s no mistaking the leery smile that he shoots at me when our eyes meet. I had never really known what it was like to hate someone so much until Ryan had done what he had to me. I had always believed that it was wrong to kill another human being, no matter what the circumstances. But my experience with Ryan had changed my point of view. He was the only person I could imagine wanting to do serious bodily harm to. Even Scar, who gunned down my father in broad daylight—I don’t think I could bring myself to actually end his life. Ryan is the only person that I can imagine doing that to and I have to admit, the idea does give me a small amount of comfort.
“Jake, talk to me. Please. It’s me, Jake, it’s Aimee.” My voice is a plea and I know that it’s reflected in my eyes as I look at him. That small chink in his armor that I had found widens and I get another look at that the real Jake, my Jake.
“I look at you, and I feel like I know you. But the person that I knew wouldn’t have done the things to me that you have.” Jake has positioned himself with his back to the door so that Ryan can only see my face and not his.
“If you’d let me explain then you’d see that the only things I’ve done to you have been to protect you. Can you get that through your thick head?” I make sure to keep my features as unreadable as possible—not for Jake, but for Ryan. I know that he’s watching me as closely, if not more, than Jake.
“My thick head?” A small, rueful smile manages to escape Jake’s amazingly kissable lips. He’s back, I think to myself. But just as soon as he reappears he’s buried again.
“How long do we have?” I ask, flicking my eyes towards Ryan.
“Not long. I’m supposed to come in here, take everything you have out of the register, and get out.” Jake says the words as if he’s just talking about the weather, but I can see how hard he’s taking what he’s being forced to do.
“And are you going to do it?” I know the response that I want to hear, but I also know how unlikely it is.
“I don’t have a choice.” Jake’s reply comes through gritted teeth and his eyes flash with something close to anger.
“You always have a choice.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize the hypocrisy in them and I know I’m about to pay for them.
“Is that why you slept with Ryan behind my back? Because you had a choice? You’re telling me that’s what you chose to do?” The bitterness in Jake’s voice hits me like a freight train. “Now get me the money that I came here for so that I can leave.”
“Jake, don’t do this. You’re not like them.” I bite my lower lip, preventing it from trembling as I watch the man that I love do something I hoped that I’d never see.
“I’m not like them, but it turns out I’m not like you either.” Jake’s jaw is set hard in an expression that I know all too well.
“Fine, is this what you want?” I elbow past him to get to the cash register and take out the small handfuls of dollars that we’ve made in the past twenty-four hours. It’s a pitiful amount, really, and nothing close to what we would have made in what I know Big George would call “the good old days.” I hold up the money, which can’t amount to more than a couple of hundred dollars. “What if I won’t give it to you? Will you take it from me?” The challenge in my eyes can’t be mistaken, but my hand is shaking as I hold the dollars between us.
“I would never hurt you, Aimee. I’m not Ryan.” And the way he spits the name out makes me hope that all is not lost between the two of us.
“I know you’re not; you’re nothing like him.” Our eyes meet and I try to transmit all the love that I feel for him in that look. “Please, come to the shop tonight. Give me a chance to explain, to tell you what happened. Jake, you know me better than anyone else—do you really think that whatever happened between Ryan and me is as simple as the Angels are making it out to be?”
I can see that my words are getting through to Jake but there’s still a ways to go. “I’m going to give you this money, without causing a scene or making it any harder for you than I know it already is. But in return you have to come tonight—you have to hear me out. I love you, Jake. Isn’t what we had worth giving me a chance to explain myself?” My fist with the dollars clenched in it is shaking and I know that if Jake doesn’t respond to this last-ditch attempt of mine, then it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that I’ll completely lose it.
So many emotions pass over Jake’s face in the space of a few seconds. He seems to be wrestling with his own wants and desires. All I can do is pray that I haven’t misjudged how much I’ve hurt him or how much of the trust he had in me is still left.
“Even if I wanted to, it’s not like the Angels are going to let one of their new Patches just waltz out of the compound,” Jake points out. But the mere fact that he’s entertaining the option of coming to see me tonight gives me hope.
“The Jake I know wouldn’t let that stop him.” We lock eyes and I feel that familiar electricity pass between us. Whatever the Angels have tried to do to us, I know that we’re still a part of each other. I never feel more alive than when I’m with Jake and I so desperately want to believe that he feels the same way.
We’re both caught off-guard when the bell over the diner door dings insistently behind Jake. I look past him and feel my breath start to quicken as Ryan walks through. Jake and I have both been so caught in up in our own world and the intensity of our reunion that we’d forgotten about Ryan, the dark presence watching us from outside.
“Everything alright, Summers?” He takes a look around the diner and I feel myself stiffen up as his eyes drift over the Feds who are still sitting in their booth, in plain sight of the entrance. But Ryan doesn’t seem to think they’re worth his notice and I have to try hard not to let out a sigh of relief.
“Everything’s fine.” Jake’s voice is hard and he manages to make himself sound bored, like it’s a big effort for him to give Ryan the time of day.
“Just thought I’d check in and see what was taking so long.” Ryan trains his attention on me and that slick grin that I’ve seen so many times makes my skin crawl. “Is Winters here giving you any problems?”
“No problems.” Jake looks straight into my eyes and the cold stare makes a shiver run down my
spine. “Not unless you call begging a problem.” He barks a laugh and it sounds forced to me, although Ryan buys it completely.
He slaps Jake on the back like he’s proud of him. “I’ll let you finish up,” he says before stepping back and leaning against the door-frame, making it clear that he’s not going anywhere until the job is done.
“Aimee, this is getting embarrassing. I don’t want you back. I don’t know how to say it any other way. I. Don’t. Want. You. Is that clear enough?” Jake says the words as if he’s been repeating them over and over again and is getting bored. Ryan laughs under his breath—he’s enjoying the show. Humiliation and pain seem to be his forte and here he’s getting boat-loads of both.
Jake’s words are like a punch to the stomach and they knock the breath out of me. I try to tell myself that he’s just acting, that he’s just showing Ryan that he’s a team player and that he’s a world away from the guy he was only a day ago. The tension between us buzzes loudly in my ears and I have to concentrate to stop the tears from making their way through the barriers that I’ve been working on erecting against them.
“So are you going to give me the cash or are you going to just stand there with your mouth open?” Jake scratches the stubble on his chin in a manner that I know so well, but I feel like the person in front of me is someone completely different from the man that had once been my best friend.
I’m too upset to say anything. I so desperately want to believe that he’s just playing a game, making a show for Ryan, letting him see what he wants so that he doesn’t suspect anything.
I hold out the money, but I keep eye contact with Jake, forcing him to look at me, trying to find the man that I love behind the eyes that don’t seem to show any feeling at all. I can’t be sure, but I think I might see a flicker of the person I used to know, the person that used to be in love with me behind the eyes that look so dead.
Without any ceremony, Jake snatches the bills out of my hand and pockets the money, quick as a flash. He does it like a pro, like he’s been doing this for a long time.
“Jake—” I start, but the truth is that I’m not totally sure what it is that I want to say. I guess it would be a mix of “don’t go,” “don’t do this,” “stay with me,” “I’m sorry,” and “I love you.” But I don’t say any of those things; I’m not given the chance to.
“I’m tired of hearing your voice, Aimee. I’m going to say it again, for one last time, for the cheap seats up in the back: It’s over. Get over it. We’re not together anymore and we never will be. Get used to it.” With those words, he turns his back to me and nods at Ryan, his new partner in crime. “Let’s get out of here.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Ryan looks between Jake and me to see if there’s any shadow of a doubt. The desolation that he must see on my face speaks volumes. I don’t think I could have pretended to be any more upset than I already was. I hold tight onto the Formica counter until my fingers go white from the pressure. I don’t know how I keep standing up straight. All I want to do is collapse onto the floor and hug myself until the tears come and I can cry myself to sleep.
But I’d made a promise to myself. I was never going to let Ryan see what he’d done to me. I was never going to let him see the pain that he’s caused me. So there are no tears tonight. I’m not allowed any tears until Jake is free of the Angels and until they get what’s coming to them. But what if Jake doesn’t want to be free of them? The little voice in my head makes an unwelcome return. I push her away, closing her behind a door. I can’t think about that possibility. If I do, I’m sure it would drive me mad.
“Ah, Jakey-boy, you don’t have to be so harsh. Just because Winters here has been a little free and easy with her affections, doesn’t mean you have to cut her out.” I’m surprised at Ryan’s words. I would have thought that this is exactly what he would have wanted—for Jake and me to be as far away from each other as possible. But I know better than to trust him and, yet again, my suspicions are proved right. “It doesn’t mean that you can’t use her for what she is.” The encouragement in his tone is unmistakable and it doesn’t take me long to understand his meaning.
“You’re right, Ryan.” Jake almost sounds grateful for Ryan’s pearls of wisdom, and that in itself makes me sick to my stomach. “Come down to Wheels anytime,” Jake says, his tone deceptively soft. “I’m sure one of the boys would be happy to oblige.” Jack locks eyes with me and I feel like he’s trying to communicate something to me, but I’m blinded by the awfulness of his words—they make me just want to lie down and play dead. “If you play your cards right, Winters, you could be our own little whore. Seems like something you’d be good at.” With those words Jake turns around and heads straight out the door, not waiting for a response.
“Oh, that’s gotta hurt!” Ryan’s appreciation is evident and his gleefulness just makes me hate him even more. How is it possible for someone to take so much pleasure in someone else’s pain? “Well, Aimee, looks like you still have a chance with Jake, if you don’t mind being his little slut. Just like you were for me.” The last words are a whisper and his face is so close to mine that I can smell his rancid breath. It takes me back to that night in his bedroom where all I wanted to do was to run away. “Be seeing you, Winters. Don’t have too much fun without me.” He laughs at his own parting line and gives me a meaningful look from underneath his greasy blonde hair before he follows Jake out, slamming the door behind him.
I hear the noise of one bike start up, then the second, and they both roar off into the distance. I’m feeling dizzy, the first signal that I have a panic attack coming on. I concentrate on my breathing and repeat to myself over and over again that I’m fine, that I’m not scared, that I’m safe. After a minute my breathing is back to normal and I can open my eyes again.
George is standing next to me with unbelieving disbelieving expression on his face. I hadn’t even heard him come in.
“What in god’s name just happened?” He looks about as shocked as I feel. George looks between the open cash register and me and then towards the door where the two men made their escape.
“I’ll replace the money from my wages.” I say the words without even having to think twice. Right now the money is the least of my problems.
“That’s not what I meant.” George’s words are a low rumble.
“I know it isn’t. But that’s all I can cope with at the moment.” I stare down at my hands that have gone numb from holding onto the countertop so hard for so long. Movement in the corner of my eye brings me back to where I am and I realize that the Feds must have heard and seen pretty much everything that just happened. “I’ll be back in a minute,” I tell George as I head over to their table.
The two men are just sitting there looking down at the table when I arrive, and their lack of a reaction makes me wonder if I was wrong and if they’ve actually managed to miss what just played out in front of them.
“I’m sorry about that—” I start to say before Agent Warner holds his hand up to stop me.
“I think Agent Jones has something that he wants to say to you first.” He looks meaningfully over at Mr. Tall. Finally, he has a name, I think to myself.
“Whatever reservations I had about you before, I don’t feel them anymore. I understand why you want these guys dealt with.” His words sound sincere and the look in his eyes feels the same.
I’m embarrassed that these men have just seen the worst parts of my private life play out in front of them like a bad daytime soap. But I appreciate Jones’s words. I know how much it takes for a man like that to admit that he was wrong. “Thanks, that means a lot,” I respond quietly, my eyes fixed on a faraway spot out of the window.
My brain is still whirring with what just happened. I ask myself if there’s any chance that Jake will do as I asked and come to the studio tonight. After everything he said to me, I’m finding it hard to hold out a lot of hope for that. But hope is the last thing that we give up—my dad taught me tha,t and the things
he taught me haven’t stood me in bad stead so far.
“The wire will get delivered to the body shop in the next 24 hours. Don’t tell anyone that you have it or anything about our conversation. When you have any information, you get in touch with us. This is the last time we’re going to meet like this.” Agent Warner pulls out a cell phone from his pocket and hands it to me. I stare at it in my hands as if it’s the first time I’ve seen one. “It’s a secure line and my number is the only one on there. Only use it when you’re sure that you have something. You’re on your own from here. Don’t put yourself in any danger. Don’t go into any potential situation without our back-up. Do you understand?” He fixes me with a serious stare that leaves me in no doubt over why he’s a man that’s used to giving orders.
“I understand.” I swallow any questions or concerns—there’s no time for either.
“Good.” He nods and, as if that were a signal, both men get up and start making their way out of the booth.
“Sorry about your food. Guess I got a little side-tracked,” I admit, rubbing my eyes like that might dispel everything I’ve just seen.
A Dream of Summer (Bleeding Angels MC Book 3) Page 9