The Rocker Who Shatters Me

by Terri Anne Browning

  She nodded then turned to look at everyone sitting around the living room. “Rules.” She said it firmly, like a teacher about to leave her students to their own devices while she left the room for a few minutes. “Unless this is your bus, you do not go into the sleeping area. The bathroom is to be respected. If I come back to this bus and there is urine all over the floor I will make you take turns scrubbing it. We have a trashcan and plenty of trash bags. Use them. When the can gets full, take the trash out and replace the bag.”

  The members of Trance and Alchemy who were there nodded their heads and each said, “Yes, ma’am,” respectfully. I snickered as I hit send on the app and then called the store. Once I’d sorted everything out and made sure that the delivery driver knew which bus to deliver to, I glanced at Jesse. Out of everyone, I trusted him to be the most responsible.

  “Scribble my name on the credit card slip when the food gets here, and make sure he gets a good tip,” I told him.

  Jesse nodded his bald head. “Of course.”

  I gave him a smile in thanks before turning to Harris who was still standing in the kitchenette. “Shower.”

  He rolled his aquamarine eyes at me. “Okay, Mom.”

  I punched him in the arm. “Are you and Lucy going to hang out?” Jenna was planning on having a girls’ night in with us, and Lucy was invited when the movies were appropriate. Tonight, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be. Which meant that Lucy either had to hang out with Felicity and the smaller kids, or with Harris.

  “We’ll probably watch a movie on the bus or play a few video games,” he assured me.

  “In the living room, not the bedroom.” Jesse was quick to make that clear.

  “Yes, sir.” Harris nodded his head courteously. It was no secret that Jesse scared the shit out of the sixteen-year-old. “In the living room, with the lights on.”

  I hid my smirk and pushed Harris toward the hall. I followed him through the sleeping area and into the bathroom where I pulled a towel from the linen closet along with a washcloth. “Just leave your clothes in your dad’s laundry basket and put on a pair of his sweats.” They would only be a little baggy on him, since he was still shorter and leaner than his dad, though not by much.

  Harris nodded. “Okay… Wish you’d gone with us today, Nat.” He sighed and shook his head, making me notice that he was in need of a trim. Harris didn’t keep his hair long like his dad did. He didn’t like for it to get too long. I made a mental note to set him up an appointment to get it cut.

  “Me too, buddy. Next time, no matter if I have a headache or not, I’ll tag along. Okay?”

  He nodded and reached for the hem of his T-shirt. I gave him a small smile and left him to it. When I closed the door to the bathroom, I wasn’t surprised to find Devlin leaning against our roost. I’d been hoping that he would come back here so that I could kiss him before I left for the evening.

  “I wish you’d been with us too,” Devlin told me, letting me know that he’d been in there long enough to hear his son. He opened his arms and I stepped forward so that they could wrap around me. His lips pressed against my forehead and I had to close them tight to keep the sudden sting of tears away. “How’s the head?”

  “It’s good,” I lied. I was actually in need of more Tylenol, but I didn’t want to worry him any more than he already was. Devlin had already voiced his concerns with my constant headaches and I’d promised him I would see a doctor for them as soon as I could.

  “When will you be back?” he asked, his lips trailing from my forehead down my nose and skimming softly over my lips.

  “Late.” I leaned up on tiptoes and pressed a deeper kiss to his lips before reluctantly stepping back. “Don’t let the others wreck the bus.”

  He grimaced and nodded. “If your head starts hurting again, text me. We can go out. I’ll take you to a hotel and you can sleep peacefully tonight.”

  I grinned up at the sexy drummer. “Yeah, sleep.” He’d been deep inside of me within seconds of getting me behind a closed door. Not that I would be complaining.

  He lifted a hand and touched the dark circles under my eyes. “Sleeping is all I want you to do, Nat. When this tour is over I’m taking you on vacation. Somewhere that doesn’t have cell service or Wi-Fi or people.” He leaned down and kissed my eyes closed, as if he were trying to kiss away my tiredness. I swallowed hard to get the sudden lump in my throat to go down. “Better go now, baby.” He kissed the tip of my nose and stepped back. “Have fun.”

  “Y-you too,” I breathed, reaching for the still-warped door with a trembling hand.

  Devlin

  I ran a tired hand over my face, wishing I were back at the bus in bed. A week had gone by since our last guys’ night, and normally I would have been happy to be sitting in some bar drinking with the majority of my friends and the rockers who were slowly becoming friends.

  We needed nights like this to just kick back and unwind. Tour was stressful no matter who you were or how long you’d been doing it. Taking a night off and just hanging out prevented burnout, something that we’d all come to understand over the years.

  Tonight, however, I’d have much rather been back at the bus, cuddled up to Natalie. We didn’t have to make love or talk, simply hold onto each other and let the stress of the last week go. Maybe I’d even grow a pair and tell her I loved her when she was awake this time.

  “So, when are you going to tell me what really happened between you and Z?” Shane asked. He was sitting beside me at the tables we’d pulled together earlier. It was just him and me because everyone else who had come out with us tonight were in the back playing pool. Axton and Wroth were playing pool with Rhett and Linc while the others pretended to play pool, but mostly soaked up the female attention that they were getting.

  My gaze went to Zander who had his hands around some chick wearing a skirt that barely covered her ass and a top that was so sheer you could see her bra underneath. There was a time when a girl dressed like that, who giggled and flirted and batted her fake eyelashes up at me, would have done something for me. Now she just made me grimace as I realized what shitty taste I’d once had.

  Zander whispered something in the chick’s ear, making her giggle again. I rolled my eyes, but a small grin tried to lift my lips. I doubted that Zander and I would ever be as tight as we once had been, but now that I had Natalie back and she seemed to have gotten over that fucking bet, my hate for him was starting to simmer down.

  “Dev?” Shane snapped his fingers in front of my face and I remembered that he’d asked a question.

  I blew out a frustrated sigh. I couldn’t tell my friend what had caused the fight that had completely destroyed my friendship with a man who had once been like a brother to me, even if I’d wanted to. Natalie would kick me in the balls if I confessed that I’d busted Z’s ribs because he’d spilled the beans about a juvenile bet we’d made over bagging Shane’s sister.

  But I had to tell him something or he wasn’t going to give up. I shrugged and lifted my beer to my lips, needing an extra minute to figure out what to say to him. Might as well go with part of the truth, just no names. “Z and I wanted the same chick…” Shane made a face and I shrugged again. “The chick was into me and I was really into her, but Z wanted her too. When I got her, he wasn’t happy. Started running his mouth. So I shut him up… But I lost the girl.”

  “Because of a fight?” Shane obviously knew that there was more to the story.

  “No.” I took another long swallow of the beer and dropped the empty bottle on the table. “Z and I made some stupid-ass bet about who could get the girl into bed first. When he started running his mouth, he told her about it. She thought I was just playing a game and I couldn’t convince her that I cared. So she walked away and I didn’t deal with that well.”

  Shane’s blue-gray eyes narrowed, but he just nodded and lifted his beer. After studying it a moment, he nodded again and took a long swallow. “Yeah. I can see why she walked.”

  Axton dropped
down into the chair across from us, his phone in his hand and I knew he was talking to one of two people: Emmie or Dallas. One was his best friend, the other was his other half. I doubted an hour went by that he didn’t have some kind of contact with those two chicks. After a few more seconds of typing, he put his phone on the table and picked up an unopened bottle of beer. “What are you two fuckers doing?”

  “I’m about ready to head out,” I told him. “You coming?”

  “Dallas is still with the girls, so no. I don’t want to go back to the bus yet. Might go get something to eat. Take my girl something salty to snack on.”

  I nodded. Dallas was having cravings already and they mostly consisted of things that were salty. Potato chips, pretzels, pork… None of it stood a chance when she was around.

  Since the girls were having their night in on my bus, I knew I probably shouldn’t go back yet, but I just didn’t give a fuck. I wanted my girl in my arms, and I wanted it now. So I said goodnight to them and went out to grab a cab back to the buses. It took fifteen minutes to get there and I gritted my teeth the entire time against the ache in my chest. Damn, it was getting worse. What I felt for Natalie was getting to the point that I didn’t want to be away from her at all.

  Once I paid the driver, I headed toward my bus. From Drake’s bus I could hear him talking and laughing with Nik and Jesse, but didn’t stop to see what they were doing. Three buses down, I knocked on the door to warn them I was coming in and stepped onto the bus.

  Dallas, Harper, and Marissa were dancing to some shitty song that was playing along with the movie that they were still watching. Lana and Jenna were sitting on the couch but I didn’t really see any of them other than to skim across them in my search for Natalie. When I saw her sitting in the recliner, her sweatshirt on and her feet tucked under her, my chest seemed to tighten and I couldn’t keep away.

  It took a handful of steps to reach her. Those blue-gray eyes were glued to mine and her mouth was slightly gaped open as she watched me walk toward her. She didn’t make a sound when I bent and lifted her into my arms. Behind us, I left a room full of stunned women.

  “That was ballsy,” I heard Jenna grumble but didn’t pay her any attention as I carried my girl into the sleeping area and shut the door behind us.

  When I placed her on our bed, she scooted over and I climbed in beside her. When she lifted her head for a kiss, I gently brushed my lips across hers before pulling her closer. I hadn’t rushed back to fuck her, have sex with her, or even to make love to her. All I wanted was to hold her.

  She cuddled against me, her head on my shoulder and her hand over my heart. The smell of her sweet shampoo filled my nose and I inhaled deeply. This. This was what I’d been aching for all evening as I’d sat in a bar drinking beer with the guys. This was my new favorite thing to do. I would never get tired or bored of it.

  It was then that I realized that I wanted to marry this girl. Up until right at that moment, marriage had been something I’d been against. Marriage was like a prison sentence; you couldn’t go do what you wanted when you wanted… Or so I’d thought. But now I realized that when you cared about someone this much, needed them this much, all you wanted was to be with them.

  Marriage wasn’t a prison sentence. It was the Happy Ever After that I wanted to give my girl. That I wanted to give myself…

  “You’re awfully quiet,” Natalie murmured after a few minutes of silence between us. “Everything go okay with the guys?”

  I kissed the top of her head. “Yeah. It was fun, but I missed you,” I told her honestly. “All I could think about was coming back and doing this.”

  She pulled back until she could see my face. “Oh yeah?” A small smile teased at her lips and I lowered my head to kiss them. Unable to resist tasting her, I skimmed my tongue over her soft bottom lip. When she moaned, I slowly lifted my head.

  My body was one big ache for her, but I didn’t want to make love to her right then and ruin the peace that had settled over me right then. “Can we just hold each other?” I lifted a hand and traced my thumb over her cheek.

  Her lashes lowered in pleasure, a soft sigh escaping her. “Yeah,” she breathed. “That sounds perfect to me.”

  Natalie

  I didn’t know how Emmie did what she does. Between kids, work, and handling everything down to the smallest detail would have driven any normal woman batshit crazy long before now.

  I had to admit, however, that helping her with Wroth’s special surprise for Marissa was fun. And seeing the look on Marissa’s face when Wroth asked her to marry him brought tears to my eyes. The wedding that followed was beautiful and I sat between Linc and Zander as the bride was kissed breathlessly.

  From across the aisle, sitting with Harris and Jenna, Devlin shot me a steamy look and I bit my lip to keep my moan of anticipation from escaping. I knew that look and knew that he would be tearing my clothes off me as soon as we were closed off in our roost tonight. That look had my panties dripping and thinking of how soon we could leave the party that Emmie was throwing back in the parking lot where our buses were.

  Maybe we could sneak off and have a quickie on the bus during the party. I hoped so, because I didn’t think I could handle going much longer without the feel of him inside of me.

  When I felt an elbow nudge my arm, I was forced to pull my attention away from Devlin and look up at Zander. “What?” I whispered.

  “Shane is watching you and Dev eye-fuck each other.” Zander nodded his head toward where my brother was sitting with Harper and Jenna.

  I glanced over and saw him staring hard from me to Devlin and then back again. I could actually see the wheels turning in my brother’s head. When he caught my eye on him, he lifted a brow and I forced a smile for him. His jaw clenched and he turned around without returning my smile.

  “Fuck,” I whispered.

  Zander draped an arm around my shoulders. “I have a feeling that your bro is going to be kicking someone’s ass before the end of the night.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “But maybe he won’t tell Drake.” I could hope at least.

  When Wroth finally let Marissa up for air, we all followed the newlyweds out to the parking lot, throwing confetti at them as they got into the back of the limo. I stayed far away from my brother and Devlin, hoping that Zander had been wrong and that as long as I avoided both of them, Shane would just let it go.

  When everyone was climbing into the vans that had brought us out to the warehouse, I climbed into the back with Linc and Rhett since that van only had one seat left. I watched from the side window as Devlin shot a glare in my direction before climbing into the van across from mine. Damn, I hadn’t wanted him to get mad. Just wanted to protect him from Shane’s wrath for a little longer. From the third van I saw Shane glancing around and when his eyes landed on Devlin, I knew that Zander had called it right.

  From the front of the bus Zander was watching exactly what I was watching. When he blew out a long, worried breath I met his gaze and gave him a grim smile. We both knew that by the end of the night someone was going to be bloody, and most likely it was going to be him and Devlin.

  The ride back to the buses took over an hour. It was too much time to have to worry about what Shane was going to do. I could picture the conversation going on the bus that he’d be pulled into by Harper. Drake and the other Demons were also in the same van along with Jenna and Emmie.

  Ten minutes into the ride, I got a text from Jenna saying that the shit had officially hit the fan. Another text quickly followed from Emmie who said that all the Demons were now pissed. I leaned forward and beat my forehead against the seat in front of me.

  “Going to start up another headache,” Linc warned.

  “Already got one,” I told him, but I sat back and looked at Zander. “So, what would you like written on your tombstone?”

  He laughed—actually laughed—and it made a small smile lift my lips. Leave it to Zander to find his impending death hilarious. “I think ‘Here Lies
Stupid’ would be appropriate.” He pointed to the bus behind us, the one that had Devlin on board with his son and a few members of Trance and Alchemy. “But his should probably read, ‘Here lies Stupider’.”

  “That’s original,” Rhett muttered, hiding his grin.

  “You should probably warn the poor dude,” Linc said, but I already had Devlin’s name pulled up on my messages.

  Me: Shane knows about us.

  Less than a second later he sent a reply. About time. Maybe now u won’t run and hide from me with fucking Z. Or did you WANT to go with him?

  I blinked down at my phone for several seconds before the message finally made sense. Did he really think that I’d picked this van because of Zander? Was he jealous and that was why he’d been shooting me the death glare before we’d left the warehouse?

  Clenching my jaw because his jealousy was ridiculous and pissed me off, I swiped my thumb over his name and called him. He let it ring four times before picking up. Was he really being this childish?

  “What?” he snapped.

  “Don’t act like that, Dev. You have no reason to be jealous.” I tried to be reasonable, tried to keep my voice calm so that he would realize that being jealous of Zander was about as stupid as him being jealous of my brothers or even his son. Zander was simply a friend.

  “You let him put his hands on you during the ceremony, Nat. You avoid me and then as soon as we leave you jump into the same vehicle with him. What the fuck do you want me to think when you do something like that?” he demanded.

  I lifted my free hand and pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting a headache on top of everything else that the universe seemed to be throwing at me today. “I want you to think that I wouldn’t avoid you unless I was trying to protect your dumb ass. I didn’t even realize Z was riding in this van until I’d already been on it. So chill the fuck out!” I yelled the last two words and hung up the phone before I started screaming. That wouldn’t accomplish anything but make my headache worse.