I had to love my BFF. She always had my back.
Mia propped her arm on the passenger door. “It’s not me you have to worry about. You both know Amanda will be brushing her big tits against him and marking her territory when she sees him.”
Every damn girl in school would be doing the same. Colton was, for all intents and purposes, fresh meat, and I had no doubt he would have groupies hovering.
“He’s his own person,” I said. I didn’t have time to swoon or get caught up in a love affair. Dad was my responsibility, and I had to spend every free minute I had with him.
3
The cafeteria was brimming with students, and the noise level was so loud, I could barely hear Georgia. Her lips moved as she leaned in across from me, but the thunderous drone was masking her high-pitched voice. It didn’t help that I wasn’t really paying attention.
I was laser-focused on Colton, who was sitting with dickwad Grady. They seemed to be best buds as they laughed and ogled girls who were giggling and flirting with them.
I rolled my eyes as my stomach churned. Jealousy was new for me, and I wanted to trip each hussy as she waved at Colton. Or maybe they were waving at Grady. He was a good-looking guy, but his bully attitude blackened his soul and handsome features.
Georgia banged on the table. “Wake up, woman.”
I sighed heavily. “Why did he come back?” Not that I wasn’t happy. But my world was already upside down. Colton had seemed nice enough when he’d come to my rescue at the Latte House. But he was hanging with Grady, and that wasn’t a good sign.
She shrugged. “Ask him. Ooo, you could sneak next door. Doesn’t your bedroom face his?”
I narrowed my eyes at my BFF. “That’s his mother’s office now.” Mrs. Caldwell worked from home, doing billing for a couple of medical companies.
Georgia tossed a quick look over her shoulder. “Maybe his mom gave him back his room.” She sighed, her shoulders sagging. “I don’t remember him being that studly. He was lanky, if I recall.”
Lanky or not, his body wasn’t the part I was attracted to. I was drawn to his eyes—smooth, brown, and belly-flipping. He had a haunting, quiet, endearing, sexy look about him. She was right, though. Colton’s body was, in my words, hunky, and for me that was icing on the cake. “It doesn’t matter. He’s out of my league,” I mumbled. “And he’s chumming with that asshole, Grady.”
I didn’t see Colton and me together. I didn’t have long hair like ninety-nine percent of the female students. I didn’t flaunt my body like them, either, or at least not like the ones sashaying by him like models on a runway.
Guys liked long hair, big tits, and shapely curves. The list went on. I didn’t fit the mold.
My breasts were a B cup, I hardly had curves, and I was slowly regretting cutting my hair. I wasn’t dissing myself, and I didn’t have low self-esteem. I’d just noticed how guys lusted over the girls with those attributes, and I’d never had reason to want a guy to notice me.
Georgia waved her hand, snapping me out of my pity party. “Skyler Lawson, stop already. You’re beautiful. What you have going for you is not only your looks but your heart, which makes you a force to be reckoned with. And fuck Grady. He’s going down this year if he so much as farts in our direction.”
I snorted. “I love you, too, chica.” Without her, I would be holed up in my room, under the blankets and sucking my thumb.
“Besides, you don’t know what Colton likes.” She played with the gold necklace that hung down over her cream-and-peach polka-dot blouse. “He could very well not care about girls who look like Amanda Gelling.”
I clenched my teeth at the mention of her name. I hadn’t seen Amanda yet. I was sure she would be rubbing her large breasts all over Colton the moment she had the chance.
Suddenly the voices died, as none other than Amanda Gelling, aka Bitch Extraordinaire, glided into the cafeteria. It felt like she had glued everyone’s lips together with a snap of her fingers.
I couldn’t figure out what in the hell she had that made people stop and look—I didn’t see much. Mom had always said, “Beauty is in your heart,” but Amanda Gelling didn’t have one. If she did, I suspected it was black as night.
She flipped her thick auburn hair behind her, searching the room, seemingly eager to find the person she was looking for. One of the three girls on her heels stuck her burgundy-painted nail in the direction of Colton and Grady.
I flicked my chin at Amanda. “Here we go.”
Georgia swiveled in her seat, as did most of the other kids who had their backs to Amanda.
Colton and Grady whispered to each other before Grady belted out a laugh.
Amanda’s heels clicked on the vinyl floor, the only sound in the room other than the clang of silverware as kids stepped into the food line with trays in hand.
She slapped her hands on her hips and stopped at Grady and Colton’s table. Her posse waited a few feet away as Amanda bent over and whispered something in Colton’s ear.
Grady watched intently, as did every other person in the room, including me. Frankly, I wanted to pluck her by the hair and toss her out with the trash. But that wouldn’t serve anything other than to reveal my jealousy to the entire student body. Besides, I promised Dad I would behave this year, and I couldn’t have him worrying about me.
Other guys at Colton’s table sized up Amanda’s groupies, hunger swimming in their gazes.
Colton listened to Amanda as his shoulders lifted, seemingly tense until Amanda laughed. Then Colton’s arm snaked around her, and he seated his hand on her lower back, grinning at her.
I growled under my breath.
Georgia snorted. “Want to start a fight?”
I swallowed thickly. “As much as I would, it would only get me in a ton of trouble.”
“It would be fun.”
The excitement in her tone was infectious, and I couldn’t help but smirk. “Let’s go. The bell is about to ring, anyway.” I needed to get out of that suffocating space.
Georgia grabbed her tray. “Mia wants us to meet her in the library.”
The three of us had a study period after lunch, which made me happy. If I’d had a class, I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate. Then again, the day had been one big blur. All I kept thinking about was Colton, his delicious cologne, the way he’d touched me that morning, and the way he’d looked at me with awe in his eyes. I was toast if I couldn’t get my head on straight.
I stomped over and deposited my tray and trash before walking out, trying hard not to look over my shoulder. I was afraid that if I did, I would do something I would regret. I also didn’t want to torture myself more than I already had.
I didn’t have time for Colton or dating. It was best I forgot about him. My heart and mind belonged with Dad. With time ticking away, he deserved all of my attention.
Yet somehow, it was going to take an army to prevent me from not thinking about Colton. After all, he lived next door. And if the day was proving how I would react to him, my senior year was going to be hell on wheels.
Once Georgia and I were out in the hall, I let out a humongous breath and almost screamed at the top of my lungs.
A handful of kids followed us out and scattered down one of two halls.
She curled her hair around her ear. “You have to show him you’re interested.”
We headed down an empty hall toward the library.
I was about to volley back a barb of some sort when Colton called my name.
Every fiber in me tingled at the sound of his Southern drawl. His voice was like a balm to my frayed nerves.
“Now’s your chance,” Georgia whispered in my ear. “I’ll see you in the library.” Then she hurried off.
I went to stop her when Colton sidled up to me. “How’s the elbow and the hip? Again, I’m so sorry.”
My heart pounded even harder when he placed his hand on my lower back. The most delightful shivers blanketed me, and I was a goner. I knew I wouldn’t make it out
of school in one piece that day or ever as long as Colton was anywhere in the vicinity.
“Can I take a look?” he asked sweetly.
His sandalwood fragrance was messing with my head, and any second, I was about to pass out. “I’m fine.” Well, my elbow was, but my mind wasn’t. Still, as soon as I’d gotten into school that morning, I’d gone to see the nurse. She'd bandaged me up and said she didn’t think anything was broken. Her orders were to take some over-the-counter pain meds if I needed to.
Colton arched a brow, his gaze circumspect. “You don’t look fine.”
My face scrunched. I knew what he meant, but a small part of my brain was heading in a different direction.
He shook his head as though he wanted to take those words back. “What I mean is you look hot—I mean flushed.” His cheeks were turning a light shade of red.
“Which is it?” My voice cracked. “Don’t answer that.” I didn’t want to hear his explanation. It was clear to me he was feeling guilty for hitting me with his truck and nothing more. “I gotta run.” But my legs wouldn’t move.
The guy who’d wrangled my heart in that parking lot earlier sized me up, slowly and surely. What was I saying? Colton had taken my breath away when I’d first moved in next door. Granted, he hadn’t been as godlike then, and the feelings coursing through my body hadn’t been as strong.
The more he casually took his time checking me out, the more my face burned like an inferno. Question after question hit me. Does he think I’m pretty? Does he like me? Is he only paying attention to me out of pity? One thing was certain—the way he was looking at me was starkly different than when Grady sized me up.
Grady always wore a disgusted look, as if I was the scum of the earth. Colton was giving me the vibe that he was trying to get inside my head.
Footsteps clamored nearby, breaking our connection.
I stabbed a thumb down the hall. “My friends are waiting. See you around.”
He caught my arm just as I took a step. “Skyler, would you do me a favor?”
Please say “come over after school and hang out.” Shut up, brain. “Depends.” I had to be careful. As much as I would probably bow at his feet, I couldn’t just open myself up. Colton was friends with Grady, and my weird thoughts went to a dark place—Grady could’ve put him up to something. The football team had a thing with initiating new players. And with my luck, Grady would spew more untrue rumors about me.
Colton looked both ways down the somewhat empty hall. “Can you not say anything to my mom or even your dad that I hit you with my truck?”
The way I was feeling about Colton, I would do just about anything for him, but lying to Dad was not an option. “I don’t lie to my dad.”
He combed his long fingers through his hair, and I almost whimpered. “I get that. But please.” His brown eyes softened to silk.
I craned my neck up at him. I wasn’t breaking my moral code no matter how handsome he was. “I’m sorry. I can’t lie. Have a good rest of your day.” I started for the library.
He growled, muttering swear words.
He probably hated me, but I couldn’t worry about that.
“Wait,” he called. “I said please.”
I pivoted on my heel and shrugged. “Please isn’t enough, Colton. Like I said, I don’t lie to my dad.”
His jaw went slack. I got the feeling girls didn’t say no to Colton Caldwell.
I didn’t fall into that category, even though I might be tempted, given the way my belly was doing somersaults.
Nevertheless, I lifted my chin, mentally giving myself a high five for not caving. But the day was still young.
4
I flopped on the bed, relieved that my first day of school was over. After I’d left Colton standing dumbfounded in the hall, I’d had a stomachache for like an hour, analyzing our exchange as if I was figuring out a complicated calculus problem.
The questions I’d formed as he drank me in had plagued me all day. Not only that, but I kicked myself for saying “have a good rest of your day.” I sounded like… I didn’t know.
Georgia and Mia had given me their two cents.
“He likes you,” Georgia had said.
“I agree, but you should test our theory,” Mia had added. “I think you should wear a sexy outfit like a miniskirt or a dress and do up your face.”
“You mean like Amanda?” I’d asked. The girl was a clothes whore, and I didn’t have the money nor the interest for wearing skirts or dresses. My shorts, tank tops, T-shirts, and Vans were it for me. The last time I’d worn a dress was to Mom’s funeral.
Nan poked her head in, severing my thoughts. “Your dad’s awake now if you want to see him.”
I lifted up to rest on my elbows. “I need to use the bathroom first.” I’d checked on Dad when I’d gotten home, and he’d been fast asleep. He didn’t spend much time in his wheelchair anymore. I imagined that before long, he would be in his bed twenty-four-seven.
She stepped deeper into my room, glancing around as she fiddled with some of the wispy brown strands that had fallen out of her hair clip.
My room wasn’t as cluttered with dirty clothes as it used to be. Since Nan moved in, I’d done a better job at picking up after myself. As part of her caregiving role, she did laundry for us twice a week.
She swung her gaze from my desk, which held a stack of my math and English books, to me before she sat on the edge of my bed.
I adjusted myself, hugging my knees to my chest.
Her gaze flicked to my elbow. “What happened?” She sounded deeply concerned, which only served to poke an old wound.
Mom had been just like her, always doting on me or afraid of me getting hurt when she would take me to the park. Mom hated when I went too high on the swings. “Skyler Lawson, you’re going to get hurt,” she would say.
I’d always giggled. “But Mom, it’s so much fun.”
I covered my elbow with my hand. “Fell off my board. It’s fine.”
“You’re going to break a limb one day,” she said.
“Possible. But it comes with the sport.”
She mashed her lips into a thin line. “Do you wear a helmet?”
I shrugged. “Sometimes.” I wasn’t a fan. Dad had ordered me to wear one several times, but it was too confining.
“You should all the time. Can I see? I want to make sure it’s clean.”
I scooted closer to her. “The school nurse took care of me.” But now that I wasn’t obsessing over Colton, a smidge of pain registered.
Gently removing the Band-Aid, she felt along the bone. “It’s swollen but doesn’t seem broken. Does it hurt?”
Nan was super caring and treated me like I was her daughter. She didn’t have any kids. When Dad had interviewed her, she’d told us her patients were her children. Then she’d laughed.
I didn’t doubt it. She had her hands full with Dad. I helped any chance I could. There were some hygiene tasks that Dad refused to let me do. Still, the lift system over Dad’s bed had been the best thing ever. Nan raved about it every time she got Dad ready in the mornings.
“Just a tad. Nan, please don’t tell Dad.”
She gently placed the bandage on. “He’s going to notice.”
She was right. Dad had a keen eye for everything. I made a mental note to swap out the large bandage for a small one before I went in to see him. “I don’t want him to stress.”
“Skye, he worries about you regardless.”
“I know. I hate to add one more thing to his plate. Any new developments with Dad?” It seemed like ALS sapped his physical abilities further and further every day.
“He’s just sleeping a lot more,” she whispered as if trying to keep her emotions tucked away.
“You care for him?” It wasn’t really a question. It wasn’t hard to see that Nan had developed feelings for Dad, and in part for me too.
She gave me a sad smile. “He’s a wonderful man. I wish I would’ve known him before his ALS.”
I grumbled. “ALS sucks the big one. Why can’t they find a cure?” It was a rhetorical question. According to Dad’s neurologist, the medical industry was studying and trialing different drugs. However, expecting a miracle was a tall order. For the time being, Dad was on special meds to slow the progression, which in my book wasn’t doing crap. His journey with ALS was on a bullet train, even with medication.
“Maybe one day they will,” she said.
I didn’t want to be Debbie Downer, but I knew they wouldn’t in Dad’s lifetime. The average life span for a person with ALS was three to five years. But every person’s journey was different. Case in point: Lou Gehrig barely made it to his second year, and others I’d read about died sooner than that.
Nan rubbed my arm. “I’m here for you, Skye.”
My eyes began to fill with angry tears. I didn’t think I could cry anymore. I’d bawled endlessly when Dad first told me he had ALS, and I hadn’t really stopped. Each day was a challenge to stay positive and not get so raging mad or depressed.
“What do you always say to your dad? No-Crying Monday or whatever day it is.” Her voice was light.
Excessive laughing and crying were symptoms of Bulbar ALS, which Dad had in spades. Hence, my mantra of No-Crying Monday. I laughed weakly as the tears flowed. “I hope at least he gets to see me graduate.”
Silence dangled.
I blew out a breath. “I ran into a guy today.” It was time to change the subject.
“Oh? Tell me about him.”
I wiped my nose with my hand as I straightened. “He’s”—I didn’t quite know how to describe Colton without sounding like I was in love already—“off-the-charts hot.”
Her pink lips split into a smile. “Does this boy have a name?”
Tingles broke out along my arms as I thought of him. “Colton.”
One thick eyebrow lifted. “You mean Bonnie’s son?”
My mouth fell open a tad. “You know him?”
“He stopped by this morning.”
Crazy For You Page 3