“Did they find them?”
“Yeah, fucking bastards didn’t get rid of the car quick enough. They’re doing life in prison. It’s still not enough.”
God, her heart was breaking for him.
She reached for him with her good hand. “Spike, it wasn’t your fault.”
“I failed to protect her. I failed to protect you. I nearly lost you.”
“You couldn’t have predicted that I would get shot. No one could have.” She got it now. Why he was so overprotective. Why he’d brought her into his home when he barely knew her.
“Should never have let you leave the house. It won’t happen again.”
“What? Me leaving the house?” she joked. But she noticed that his face didn’t change expression. Holy. Shit. He meant that.
Okay, one issue at a time.
“Spike, it wasn’t your fault. Do you really think that Jacqui would want you to blame yourself? To live your life alone and in guilt? I didn’t know her, but she must have been pretty special for you to love her this much.”
“She was special.” He brushed some hair back from her face. “I need to warn you.”
“Warn me?” She felt like her head was spinning. She couldn’t keep up with him. Maybe this wasn’t the best time for this conversation. The drugs were obviously still messing with her head.
“I couldn’t let you stay with Steele, yet I couldn’t let myself feel anything for you. But I failed at that. Every day I think I fell in love with you more. You’re crazy and caring. Klutzy and cute. Loving.”
“Not sure all of those were compliments,” she muttered.
“They were. It’s just you. I love you, baby doll. I want you. But that might not be what’s best for you. I’m going to give you this one chance to tell me no. Because if you tell me you love me then there is no going back. You will be mine. In all ways. Your life will change. There will be no holding back. For either of us. I will know all of you. You’ll know all of me. It won’t be one of those relationships where we lead different lives. Unless I’m doing something dangerous, you’ll be with me. By my side. As my woman. And my baby doll. I will love you. Take care of you. Keep you safe. Sometimes my protection will feel like I’m smothering you. And I probably will be. But once you’re in, you’re all in. So this is it. Do you love me or do you want me to leave?”
She sucked in a breath. Say no to him? Was he kidding her? And whoa, who knew he could say so much at one time?
Before she could reply, the door to her room opened and Hack peeked in.
“Is it safe to come in?” Hack asked. “Or do I need to come back in combat wear? Should I bring Green in with me as protection?”
She giggled then hissed as it jolted her shoulder. The drugs seemed to be wearing off a bit.
“Don’t make her laugh,” Spike snapped with a scowl.
“Right. Don’t sit next to her. Don’t touch her hair. Don’t make her laugh. Now, am I allowed to touch her shoulder or is that off the table as well?”
She rolled her eyes at Hack’s questions. Spike wasn’t that bad.
“Only for medical purposes.”
Umm. Okay.
“Make her cry again and you’re gonna lose a limb.”
Right. She was beginning to see what he meant when he said things would go to another level.
Her being shot had triggered something inside him. Understandable given what happened to his wife. But the beast was out of the cage and he wasn’t going back in. She had a feeling she was barely going to be allowed to pee on her own.
Hack gave her a sympathetic look as though sensing her thoughts. “Right, business time.” Hack’s humor drained away. “Millie, you were a very lucky girl.”
“I was lucky to get shot?” That was an odd thing to say.
“Sounds like if Spike hadn’t tackled you, then that shot could well have hit something vital.”
“I owe him my life.” She looked over at Spike who appeared unconvinced.
“You should never have been in that parking lot to begin with,” he grumbled.
She sighed.
Hack rolled his eyes at her. “I see he’s going to take the blame for everything. Hey, Spike, I stubbed my toe earlier, you gonna feel guilty for that?”
Spike just crossed his arms over his chest, looking menacing.
“Right,” Hack said cheerfully, looking unperturbed by Spike’s surly attitude.
“Even though the bullet didn’t hit anything vital, it did do quite a bit of damage to your shoulder. We were able to save your arm when we operated but you’re looking at a lot of recovery time. So long as there are no signs of infection, you’ll probably be able to leave the hospital in about a week’s time. You’re going to need someone to take care of you at home since you won’t be able to use that arm. I know you don’t live here. I’m not sure what your plans are?”
“She’s coming home with me,” Spike told him.
“So you’re still prepared to care for her?” Hack asked.
Still? Had they discussed this already?
Spike grunted.
“One grunt for yes? Two for no?” Hack asked.
“Are you ever professional?” Spike asked.
“Very rarely. It gives me a rash.” Hack turned to her. “After you’re discharged, you’re going to need more time to recover, then physical therapy to help that arm. It might never be the same again.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t really thought that far ahead. What did that mean exactly?
“She likes to sew and make clothing,” Spike told him. “Will she be able to do that?”
Hack gave her a look filled with sympathy. “Hopefully.”
Pain flooded her. To not be able to make her creations . . . yeah, it hurt. But she had to be realistic here. She pushed the pain deep. Into that box.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Hack drawled the word, looking over at Spike for some sort of explanation.
Spike just frowned at her.
“Yeah, okay.”
“You don’t seem too upset by that. You’re probably in shock. It might hit you later,” Hack warned.
“No, I get it,” she reassured him, attempting a small smile. “I’m lucky to be alive. Anything else I can deal with, right? That’s what life is, just dealing with the punches and getting back up.”
Hack studied her. “How many punches have you had?”
“Enough.”
“And does anyone ever help you get back up?” Hack asked.
“I have friends back home,” she said defensively.
“Okay, that’s good. But this could hit you harder later and if you ever need to talk, I have the name of some good therapists.”
“I’ll be fine. Thank you.” She gave him a big smile.
Hack appeared puzzled. He turned to Spike, but Spike continued to stare at her. She swallowed. She had the feeling that Spike saw more than he was letting on.
“If you need them you can ask for them at any time. There are people here in the hospital who can come see you.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said more firmly. “Thank you.”
“Spike, you got anything to say?” Hack asked.
Spike glanced over at him. She braced herself, knowing he would side with Hack.
“She’ll be fine,” Spike told him.
Okay. That surprised her. It surprised Hack too, if his expression was anything to go by.
“All right. I’ve got to get going. Rest when you can. Drink plenty of fluids. You might not feel like eating yet, and that’s okay. Just keep up the fluids. Spike, try not to terrorize the nurses too much. I don’t want to come back to save you from them. If you need me, call.”
He left and silence filled the room.
“You’re not going to pressure me to talk to someone?” she asked.
“You will be fine. I won’t allow you to be anything else. But you will talk to me. You’re gonna tell me why you react the way you do.”
“React the way I do?”
/> “Hmm. Other people, they hear they might not be able to do something they love because they were shot by some asshole, they’d likely get angry. Upset. They might cry or shout or go into shock. You just moved on. And not the first time you’ve done it. We’ll talk about that. And everything else. If I get the answer I want. So gotta know, what’s your answer, Millie?”
She licked her dry lips. “My answer.”
“You should know I’ll take care of you no matter what.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I do.”
“Because you feel guilty?”
“Because I love you.”
“I love you too,” she whispered back. “I’m in this.”
“All the way?”
“All the way.”
A look of such stark possessiveness filled his face that her breath was stolen for a moment. Then he leaned in to kiss her lightly.
“Thank fuck.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “Gonna look after you, baby doll.”
“I know you will.”
“I’m not easy. Not simple. At times you’ll want to kill me. But now one will ever love you like I do.”
She knew that. She felt it in her soul.
34
“Right, Millie, it’s time for a sponge bath.” The nurse who walked in spoke cheerfully. As though this was something she should be happy about.
Having a stranger bathe her. Umm, no thanks. Definitely not on her list to do today.
Even though she’d tried to send him home last night, Spike had insisted on staying. Much to the night nurse’s irritation. She knew he can’t have gotten much sleep sitting in that chair.
She couldn’t wait to get home. She missed Mr. Fluffy. Spike had brought her Chompers, which helped. And he’d actually Facetimed Betsy earlier so that Millie could check on Mr. Fluffy.
But it wasn’t the same. She wanted to be home in Spike’s bed. In his house. Not in the hospital surrounded by strangers. The police had been by earlier to interview her, but they hadn’t had many answers for her either. Spike wouldn’t answer any questions about what was happening with the Devil’s Sinners. If she wasn’t feeling so sleepy and dopey, she might have been irritated at being kept out of the loop.
“No thanks,” she replied as the woman started to fill up a bowl with warm water and soap at the sink. Urgh, hospital soap? She so didn’t think so.
“It will make you feel so much better.”
Right. So she said.
“Sir, you’ll have to leave to give my patient some privacy,” the nurse said to Spike.
“No,” Spike said. He stood and reached for the bowl and cloth.
“Sir—”
“I’ll be bathing her myself. You can go.”
“Look, I can’t just l-let you . . . “ the nurse spluttered.
“She’s mine to care for. I will do it.”
“You can’t get her bandages wet.”
He gave her a look that clearly told her that he wasn’t stupid.
The nurse sighed. “Millie, is this all right with you?”
“Yes,” she said immediately. She’d much rather have Spike bathe her than some stranger.
A buzzer sounded and the nurse gave them both a harried look. “All right. I’ll be back later to take your vitals.”
She left and Spike moved to the door, having a quiet word with the man outside. Then he tipped the water down the sink.
She sighed in relief. But he started to fill it again, moving into the bathroom and coming back with her own shower gel.
“Couldn’t I have a shower instead?” she whined. She wasn’t usually a whiner but this was all getting to be too much. She hated how helpless she was.
“Baby doll, you’re hooked up to a drip. Not to mention you’re weak as a babe. No way I would let you shower like this.”
“Maybe I can wash myself.”
He gently cupped one side of her face with his big hand. “Millie.”
That was all he said, but she knew what he wanted. She raised her face so she was looking at him. She braced herself for his commands, knowing she’d likely give in.
“Let me do this. Please.”
He couldn’t have shocked her more if he’d told her he had a lifetime goal to become a clown in the circus.
“P-please? You just said please . . . am I hallucinating?”
He shook his head at her, but the skin around his eyes crinkled.
“You don’t know how hard it is to feel helpless,” he told her. “When you’re hurt, in pain, I just want to do something. Let me take care of you.”
“You are doing something by just being here. You’re keeping me sane.”
“Keep me sane and let me help you.”
“Are you sure you were ever sane?” she asked suspiciously.
“It’s debatable,” he admitted.
She snorted with laughter then groaned.
“No laughing. And you need more pain killers.”
Damn it. He’d caught on far too quickly that she didn’t like pushing the button to release more medication She huffed out a sigh.
“Millie,” he said warningly.
Only thing was he couldn’t back that up with a threat, right? Because he couldn’t punish her while she was injured.
He leaned over her, careful not to bump her. “Oh, I know that look. That’s the look of a Little girl who thinks she can get away with things because Daddy is wrapped around her finger and won’t do anything while his baby is hurt. But you will get better. And Daddy has a long memory.”
“Well, shoot. There should be an expiration date. Like if a week passes, I can no longer be punished for something.”
“You wish, baby doll.”
“That’s just mean, Daddy.”
Something like relief filled his face. Had he been waiting for her to call him that again? Maybe he had.
“It’s hard for me to slip into Little space here. I feel on edge. Watched.”
“I get it, baby doll.”
And she knew he did.
He moved over and grabbed the bowl and cloth, just waiting. She gave him a nod. He drew the curtain around the bed, although she was certain he’d told her guard at the door not to allow anyone entrance.
Then he carefully pulled back the blankets. She was half-wearing one of the awful hospital gowns. Her injured arm couldn’t fit in the arm hole.
He gently pulled the top half down, leaving her breasts naked.
Picking up the cloth, he squeezed the water out.
“I’m gonna resemble sasquatch by the time I can shave again,” she groaned.
“I’ll get you a razor and take care of it.”
She blushed. She wasn’t sure what was worse. Being a hairy beast or having him shave her. Gently, carefully, he washed her body. And she started to relax. His touch was almost reverent.
As if he cherished her.
Tears filled her eyes.
“What’s wrong, baby doll? Did I hurt you?” There was an urgent note in his voice.
“No. It’s just . . . the way you’re touching me. You’re so careful. You really do love me, don’t you?”
“There was doubt?”
“No one has ever loved me. I mean, my family and friends. But not like this.”
“No,” he agreed. “Not like this.”
* * *
“Millie!”
“Are you okay?”
“Does she look okay?”
“Millie, what happened? We’ve been worried about you.”
She smiled into the laptop screen as everyone tried to speak over each other. “Hi, everyone.”
Spike had moved out of screenshot after setting the laptop up for her.
“What’s going on?” Mrs. Spain asked. “Why haven’t you answered our calls?”
“And where are you?” Mrs. Larsen asked.
They all started talking at once and she frowned, trying to work out who to answer first.
“Quiet,” Spike demanded without raising his
voice.
To her shock, they all acquiesced. Well, except for Mr. Spain. But that was to be expected when he couldn’t hear anything.
“What’s going on? What?”
Spike turned the laptop so he was looking at them all.
“It’s that young man. What was his name?” Mrs. Spain said as though Spike wasn’t sitting right there. “Pike?”
“No, it’s Mike,” Mrs. Lancaster said.
“Spike!” yelled Mr. Spain, surprisingly getting it right for once.
“Quiet, you old coot,” Mrs. Spain scolded. “Young man, where has our Millie gone? What have you done to her? If you’ve hurt her, we’ll make sure you pay.”
“Millie is fine. She’s in the hospital but she is well. I am caring for her.”
She let out a sigh when he didn’t tell them the full truth. The last thing she wanted was to cause them stress.
“You’re taking care of her?” Reverend Pat demanded.
“I am.”
“You better be,” Andrey threatened. “Or I come cut off your dick.”
“I’m good,” she called out. She wasn’t sure, but she thought Andrey might have ties to the Russian mafia.
Spike turned the laptop back around and she smiled at everyone. “I’m fine. Spike is taking very good care of me. Promise. Sorry I worried you. Tell me how everyone is back home.”
That distracted them and she settled in to listen to the gossip she’d already heard last time they spoke. Gradually, her eyes started to grow heavy-lidded.
“Millie needs a nap now,” Spike said abruptly. “Say goodbye, Millie.”
She forced her eyes open. “Oh, no. I’m fine.”
“Say goodbye,” he said more sternly.
She sighed but knew he wasn’t going to budge. “Bye all.”
Everyone waved off and she frowned at Spike. “I was still talking.
“No, you were about to fall asleep. It’s your naptime.”
She sighed. “Don’t wanna nap.”
“Too bad. My baby doll is getting grouchy. That means she needs a nap.” He grabbed Chompers and settled him in beside her.
“You must need the world’s biggest nap then since you’re the king of the grouches,” she muttered sleepily.
Lips brushed her forehead before she drifted off to sleep.
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