by vidit chopra
Chapter 5: Women are experts at messing up a man’s head
Life was normal now, school was just about to start off the following day so I didn’t have much time left for facebook or to think about Tanya, which I had practically stopped doing since the facebook incident.
It was a Saturday evening and I didn’t have anything better to do, so I opened my newly bought laptop and opened my browser to the epidemic and started taking the current health situation of the other diseased.
Facebook had just started off with its photo tagging service i.e. if you are with a friend in a picture you can tag him to let others know who it is. The day I took note of the service I was tagged in four pictures by Kabir. I opened up the pictures and those were the ones that he clicked on our last night together while we were in Dehradun.
He had tagged all of us in the pictures. The pictures were nice and reminded me of all the fun we had back then apart from Tanya spoiling the fun for me!
She too was tagged and I thought this was the opportunity to make my presence felt out here and make her realize that I too am here!
There was a picture in which I was with Simran, Ayesha and Tanya.
“The two girls who are my strength and my weakness as well. Love you both!” I commented.
Then on, the comments started to flow in on the picture.
“I like it. Vishal looks sad, maybe he is still remembering the pranks that Tanya played on her! Lol” Ayesha commented.
“I agree with you Ayesha. Vishal can you please specify which two girls are you talking about because I can see three of them in this pic! ;)” Simran commented.
“Hey come on Ayesha and Simran di. I didn’t trouble him that much. We did patch up by the night or by the morning if I may say so. Right Vishal?
P.S. I can’t deny saying that playing those pranks on him was a lot of fun!” Came the much awaited comment from Tanya.
I was amazed by Tanya’s comment. She was behaving like nothing had happened, as if there wasn’t any facebook incident where she ignored me. I couldn’t understand what was happening.
While I was thinking all this the comments had already started flowing in.
“I bet you both did ‘make up’ by the morning literally! ;)” Ayesha commented.
“hahaha. Rightly said again Ayesha! :D” Simran commented.
“Oh shut up Ayesha we didn’t do anything and as it is we are way under age to do anything! ;) I can’t believe I just wrote that! Lol. And Vishal seriously where are you? I need some support over here because it’s not just me who is being bullied over here, you too are!” Tanya commented
I was unable to understand how should I react but looking at Tanya’s comments I thought I should rather act normal as well.
“@Simran I was talking about you and Ayesha only.
@Ayesha: Yep the pranks were fun.
@Tanya: I don’t have much to say about that night because these guys have a proof and if they put it up we are so dead! So kindly pay respect to the three of them. That’s all I have to say!” I commented trying to draw Tanya’s attention on the photo that these people had of us sleeping together!
“Sure we have the proof. Should I put it up Vishal?” Simran commented.
“Do it Simran di. Let the world see what happened that night!” Ayesha commented.
“I don’t want to miss the fun so here I am facebooking from my coaching class! @Vishal if you want I can directly upload it from my mobile device!” Kabir joined in too!
“What are you guys talking about? K” Tanya commented.
“Oh the poor girl is so clueless about it all. @Vishal why didn’t you tell her?” Simran commented.
“I didn’t tell her because I haven’t spoken to her ever since.” I commented.
“Seriously guys what are you talking about? What proof? Why are you so afraid of it Vishal?” Tanya commented.
“Oh boy. I would rather be a silent observer of this conversation because I am starting to enjoy the confusion or the conversation whatever you might like to call it!” Kabir commented.
“Me too bhai. Playing mum is the best way to have fun in this convo.” Ayesha commented.
“@Tanya: I think I should upload it that’s the only way you will be able to understand what we are talking about. ;)
@Vishal: You haven’t spoken to Tanya ever since? Why is that?” Simran commented.
“I haven’t because there was no means of communication available besides I didn’t want to!” I commented.
“The boy in ‘that’ pic said what? :-o” Simran commented.
“Ditto! :-o” Ayesha commented.
“:-o I don’t like where this is going! I think I should upload the pic and then see how these two are going to react. It will be fun! *Evil smile*!” Kabir commented.
“Seriously bro don’t upload the picture!” I commented not able to show in the comment how much I was pleading for them not to upload it!
“Chuck the pic Vishal. What do you mean when you say you didn’t want to talk to me?” Tanya commented.
No comments came up for the next one minute while I thought of an answer.
“I meant that I didn’t want to talk to you!” I wrote.
“Why is that? Did I do something wrong?” She wrote
“Everything was wrong on that trip since the time you stepped in!”
“What do you mean by that! How about the last night?”
“What about the last night?”
“The talk we had.”
“Ya so you said we are friends but if we are, we should be friends on facebook which we aren’t because you denied my request!”
“And you are mad about me not accepting your request?”
“Not mad at you for not accepting the request on a rather idiotic social networking website but ya maybe.”
“You are such a child Vishal and FYI I never received a friend request from you! I did search for you but I think you had deactivated your account then!”
“I did send you a request.”
“But I didn’t see one!”
“So that’s not my fault.”
“Then is it my fault?”
“No”
“Then why are you mad at me?”
“Because you played pranks on me.”
“I thought that was settled the same night!”
“Was it? I don’t think so. You should apologise to me first.”
“I did that night.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes I did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes I did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes I did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes I did.”
“No, you didn’t. Not in front of these people!”
“Oh so you want me to apologise in front of these people. Okay fine I am sorry. There. I said it.”
“You have to say it thrice!”
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. There. I said it five times. Three times for your ego, fourth time because I am sorry for you and the fifth because I considered you to be my friend. I didn’t know you have a brain of five in a body of seventeen! Good Bye.”
“Bye.”
“Before I go, I would like you to play a game. Stretch out the fingers of your right hand, curl your thumb, you are left with four, curl your little finger, you are left with three, curl you index finger, you are left with two, now curl your ring finger, yep you got it, what I want to say is fuck you!”
After writing all I had written I read all of it. I sure was angry with Tanya but whatever she wrote was true. I was behaving like a spoilt child! In a fit of anger I lost a wonderful opportunity and converted a person who considered me to a friend, into an enemy. I too felt sorry for myself.
“Well done Vishal. You were successful in pissing off my best friend and a person who considered you to be a friend. Awesome!” Ayesha wrote.
“I am disappointed bro. Very sa
d.” Simran wrote.
“I have no words to describe what you just did bro! Sad indeed!” Kabir wrote.
“Shit shit shit……@Tanya I am really really sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just angry and was behaving like a child I am really sorry. Please forgive me. Here I said it twice on a public forum. Please forgive me!” I commented trying to rectify my fault, even though I, on a personal level thought that I was never going to hear her accepting my apology!
No comment came up for the next five minutes. I refreshed the page just to be sure that the net was working fine. It was. I was agitated beyond limit. I was feeling guilty for making a girl cry, because after what she wrote I was sure that she would have cried.
After a couple of minutes of wait a comment popped up. It was from Tanya.
“You don’t have to be sorry Vishal.
@Everyone else: Didn’t I tell you that this one will work. I was able to make him say sorry twice more and that too on a public forum. You all owe me a treat now! ;) :D” The comment read!
On reading the comment, as impulsive as I am, I wanted to literally break Tanya’s head but on the other hand I was happy that it was just a joke! I didn’t make her cry, instead, I made her laugh. She would be jumping around shouting with joy on making a complete fool of me once again like she did before, so they were mixed emotions.
“LPOTZL! You did it once again Tanya. You are in for a treat from all of us for sure!” Kabir commented.
“The best online prank in the history at least in the ones I have seen happening live!” Ayesha said.
“LOL.” Simran commented.
“@Tanya Sharma: I officially hate you and I am never ever going to talk to you ever again in my entire life!
@Everyone else: I am just disappointed. You always support her in everything and anything against me! Not fair whatsoever!” I commented trying to make a fool of them.
“@Simran di: Di go check him out. He wrote shit thrice above. I think the cry baby needs a diaper change. Maybe that’s the reason he is getting so irritated as well! :P” Tanya commented.
“Please stop Tanya. Please. If I laugh once more, my teacher is going to throw me out. Good one bdw!” Kabir commented.
“@Vishal: No matter how hard you try, you just can’t beat Tanya nor can you stop her from beating your a$$ up every time you try and say something! :P” Ayesha commented.
“Okay I know if I say a word more, I am in for a beating from this angry chap sitting in the room right next to me but imho (in my honest opinion specified for Vishal) this sure was a BAZINGA moment and I sure will check on his diapers. They sure need to be changed now!” Simran commented.
“@Tanya-Shut up
@Ayesha- Shut up!
@Simran- You don’t shut up, you shut your room because if I enter you are in for a real ‘treat’.
@Kabir- There soon will be a day when you will be on the receiving end of a women attack! Let that moment come and I won’t be there to back you! :P” I wrote.
“If a layman scrolls a bit up and reads Vishal’s second last comment you will find that he just wrote @Tanya Sharma I am never ever talking to you ever again and when you scroll back down you will find that his next comment starts with the word ‘@Tanya’! How long can you keep a resolution? :P I am off now, bye people.” Tanya wrote.
I didn’t care to comment and sent her a friend request first, so that she accepts it before going offline. I sent it and in a couple of moments a notification came in saying Tanya Sharma has accepted your friend request.
A moment later a chat window popped up.
“You are an idiot……..
But you are also very cute ;) Good night. Bye.” The chat window said with Tanya’s name on top of the box.
“Good night. Bye and please don’t ever call me cute!” I said.
“Okay I won’t. Bye for now. Catch you later!” She said and went offline.
“I think I should rather delete this image and repost it. What mess have you guys created out here! It was such a nice pic and you guys spoilt it! I am reposting it. Now I am just wondering what will happen when ‘that’ pic is posted! Lol ;)” Kabir commented.
“Oh please not that one. I beg all of you please not that one!” I commented.
“What wonderful effect Tanya is having on him. Since meeting her he has started saying sorry, please and now he is even begging. :P” Simran wrote.
“Nice one di! :D” Ayesha wrote.
“@Simran: You are a gonner!” I wrote and logged out of the disease.
After shutting down the computer I went straight to Simran’s room.
“I will shout if you hit me.” She said as soon as I entered.
“I am not going to hit you. Calm down.” I replied.
“Well that’s a transition. Never before was a day when I bullied you and you didn’t care to reply back.” She said.
“Is it? Then maybe it’s your lucky day today or should I say lucky night. Enjoy.” I said and smiled.
“I am not sure if it’s lucky for me or not but it sure is for you.” She said rather softly as if trying to show she was talking to herself yet trying to pass the message across.
“Oh shut up. Enough bullying already. I am happy and that’s the reason I am not saying anything to you now don’t spoil it for me please.” I said and left the room.
This was the first time that a person would like having a disease and having a chance to talk to other infected people! I thought. I loved it and I just couldn’t wait for the next opportunity I could have of speaking to her again.
That night was another restless one; I just couldn’t get myself to sleep in the excitement that the next morning I would get up, go online and once again I will have a chance to talk to her. Her face was stuck as a picture in my mind which popped up as soon as I closed my eyes. After trying for an hour or so when nothing worked I gave up trying and went back online on the disease. It was around 3 in the morning and I didn’t care if I would find any one online to talk to because the disease had certain subsections too which are known as games and apps. A person who once has this disease is bound to stay hooked to these two as well. I logged into the disease and checked the number of people who were online. I expected a 0 to be the figure at this hour of the night but surprisingly there were three people online! There you have it, the disease had developed another symptom in the body and that was ‘insomnia’! The three people who were online were Harpreet, a guy from school, and two other acquaintances whom I had met just once in my lifetime. There was no point in staying online so I turned my online status to offline and started searching for a good app or a good game to try my hand at. At that part of the night even the disease couldn’t take my mind off her. Even when I was searching for the application, all the while I kept thinking of her. It was as if she was becoming an obsession now and I wasn’t like this even a single bit. I killed time by looking and trying a new game which was practically pointless. After about half an hour I decided to go online again and thought of talking to Harpreet, which at the moment appeared to be the best way of killing time! I went online but sadly there was only one person online.
“He might have left by now.” I thought to myself.
I opened the chat window to see who was online and believe it or not it was the woman I had been thinking about all this while. Yes, Tanya was online at 4A.M. in the morning and for nothing in the world was I going to leave this opportunity of having a talk with her or ‘chat’ as the virtual world calls it.
I opened her chat window and sent in the basic and the simplest conversation starter as far as the virtual world is concerned and otherwise as well “Hi.” And then I waited for her to reciprocate the same expression back to me. I waited for a minute but the reply didn’t come. I waited a bit more and still there was no reply from her end. When this happened my mind started drifting to thoughts about her which were messing up my head.
“She is online at 4 A.M. in the morning. How many of friends could be online
at this hour?” I said and looked at her friend list. She had 17 friends and applying the law of average giving the geeks a bit of an advantage and adding them up to the insomniacs I came up to the conclusion that not more than two people could be online at this late hour. Then I looked at mine and it said only 1 person online on a friend list of 100 odd. Now the theory of two people being online didn’t sound practical in the virtual world. But then there has to be someone else who is online and she is talking to that person lest if she was online yet not on facebook, her chat status would have automatically changed to idle which it was not. Even if she was ignoring me there had to be someone whom she was talking to or rather chatting with. This gave my theory a bit of an upper hand. While I was applying all these theories figuring out the probable reason of her not replying she reciprocated the affection, “Hi” the IM read.
“How are you?” I wrote.
“I am fine. Sorry for the late reply I was playing a stupid game.” She replied. The reply was swift this time round and with her telling me her reason for not replying all my theories crashed and were thrown in the pot and flushed.
Vishal: Oh that’s fine. I too was looking for one.
Tanya: How are you?
Vishal: I am doing well. So what are you doing online at such a late hour or early morning if I may say so?
Tanya: Ah. Nothing just trying to pass time. Wasn’t able to grab any sleep whatsoever L
Vishal: hmmm. Sad but why is that? What keeps you awake?
Tanya: Just some weird thoughts.
Vishal: And they are?
Tanya: I would rather not say.
Vishal: Why not?
Tanya: Nothing worth talking of. So anyway what keeps you awake?
Vishal: Same as you. Just some weird thoughts.
Tanya: And they are?
Vishal: I would rather not say.
Tanya: Why not?
Vishal: Because you didn’t. I am not telling you till you do.
Tanya: Is this a tit for tat kind of a thing?
Vishal: Maybe but before that just a request, please don’t use that sentence again. It has more double meaning to it than women can imagine.
Tanya: Which sentence?
Vishal: The one you just used in the last sentence.
Tanya: What are you talking about?
Vishal: That tit for tat sentence you just used.
Tanya: Oh okay. But I don’t see any double meaning in it. What is it?
Vishal: I would pass that question and put forward one of my own. Do you want to know what keeps me awake?
Tanya: Yeah sure. Tell me.
Vishal: Well let’s start then.
Tanya: Sure. Go on…
Vishal: You go first.
Tanya: Why would I? You said you were going to tell me!
Vishal: But as I said, the deal is if you tell me what thoughts are keeping you up, and then only I will tell you the reason for me being up.
Tanya: You aren’t going to give up are you?
Vishal: No I am not!
Tanya: Did that mean a yes? Are you going to give up? If you are, that means you are going to lose from a girl, again!
Vishal: Are you mad or what? I said I am not going to give up! :P
Tanya: As per the IM you just sent, you used two negatives in once sentence which in turn meant a yes!
Vishal: Okay. I am …… (you get it don’t you!) No. I am not going to give up. Now tell me.
Tanya: Haha. I can fill in the blank for you if you want! :P
Vishal: No need for that. Now are you going to tell me what’s troubling you?
Tanya: I will but only if you promise me one thing.
Vishal: And what is that?
Tanya: That you won’t tell it to anyone! Not even Ayesha or Simran di!
Vishal: Okay I won’t and it’s ‘didi’ not ‘di’. For God’s sake why can’t people just say or write just two letters more it takes less than half a second to say or write!
Tanya: You are straying away from the topic! Anyway, so do you promise?
Vishal: Yes I do. Tell me.
Tanya: I am up because I was watching porn. I am pretty much obsessed with it. Sometimes I just can’t control myself. That’s what I was doing, the reason for replying you late at the start of the chat!
For a moment I was taken aback by what she had just written. I had never come across such a situation nor did I know how I should react to it. There was this teen aged girl telling me that she watches porn which is not only illegal for people of her age to watch but also morally wrong! I started to think of a reply but just couldn’t come up with one. Finally, when nothing came to my mind I thought of going offline and the next time I would see her online I would apologise that the net connection got disrupted and hence I had to go offline. The story was quite believable and most probably the only way out for me at the moment. I was going to implement it when a message popped up again.
Tanya: What happened? Did I give you a 440V shock? :P
I thought I should rather reply to her.
Vishal: Well to be honest, yes you kind of did.
Tanya: GOTCHA! BAZINGA! Yet again. Hahahahah ROTFL (FYI if any of you is wondering what ROTFL is, it is the short form or the sms for rolling on the floor laughing)
Vishal: You are such a………
Tanya: Sweet, loving, caring, beautiful girl? Oh thanks. There is no need for flattery. I pretty much know all that about myself!
Vishal: Yeah but those weren’t the adjectives I was going to use out here.
Tanya: I know but that’s what you think about me deep inside. ;) :P
Vishal: So now you are flirting with me? :P
Tanya: Am I? What did I say? Deep down inside you are flirting with me! :P That’s what this means dumbo.
Vishal: But I didn’t say any of it. You said that all to yourself!
Tanya: Yeah yeah, now you cover up but there is no point I know it all!
Vishal: You are impossible!
Tanya: Oh really? That’s your science? I have matter, I have mass, I am a human being with all my organs in their right places functioning properly which means that I am pretty much alive and that I was made possible by my parents sixteen years ago! Dumbo! :P
Vishal: I am not a dumbo. You are one and you are irritating too! :P
Tanya: Irritating- maybe but in no way I am a dumbo or a dumbass as big as you! :P
Vishal: That’s it. I am not listening or talking to you anymore. I don’t want to know what keeps you awake nor do I want to talk to you. Looks like your insomnia is slowly converting into insanity! Bye bye. Good night.
Tanya: Hey Vishal wait wait wait. Please wait. I am sorry. It’s just that whenever I talk to you I am just compelled to trouble you. May be because you give the exact reaction I am hoping for. Please don’t go offline J
That comment, even though was sort of an insult hurled at me but it did make me smile.
Vishal: Okay. I am not going.
Tanya: Thank you. J You are so sweet J
Vishal: Seriously? Have you been asking Ayesha things that I hate to hear or be called and that’s the reason you are using them again and again?
Tanya: Rude! But well no, I haven’t been using my best friend who happens to be your cousin to trouble you. I believe I am good at it naturally! ;)
Vishal: Sure you are. So which porn site were you visiting! :P
Tanya: Oh come on. I told you I was just joking. J
Vishal: When did I deny that! If you can so can I pull your leg. Anyway, so now are you going to tell me the REAL reason for your being up till now?
Tanya: I will but the same deal applies. If I tell you, you will not tell it to anyone.
Vishal: It’s a deal and now please don’t come up saying that you are a vampire and you just can’t sleep! If you do I am not going to believe that unless you come here and feed on me! :P
Tanya: haha. To be honest that thought did cross my mind a couple of minutes ago but now that you have got me o
n that one I would rather use that Bazinga on someone else! ;) BTW looks like you are too eager to meet me. Even if I told you I am a vampire instead of saying that you will hide away you said you want me to come and feed on you! :P
Vishal: Shut up!
Tanya: BAZINGA!
Vishal: What’s up with this word? Why do you keep using it? What does it even mean?
Tanya: Google it to find out! :P
Anyway here is the reason why I just wasn’t able to sleep!
Vishal: Ah. Finally. I thought that it will be morning yet I will never be able to get the reason why you didn’t sleep the whole night.
Tanya: It’s morning already. Look at the time and the breaking dawn outside!
She was right. It was quarter to five in the morning and the sun was on the rise! A quarter of an hour had passed with neither of us, not me at least knowing that it had! I loved talking to her!
Tanya: Coming back to the topic I wasn’t able to sleep because…..
Vishal: What’s with the …… now. Tell me please. I beg you!
Tanya: I don’t know how you will react but I couldn’t sleep because I was feeling afraid!
Vishal: Feeling afraid of what?
Tanya: I don’t know but something scared me. At around 2 AM in the morning a weird sort of a noise came from the living room. I just couldn’t sleep after that!
Vishal: Oh so you were afraid of a noise. Lol. Hahahahah LMAO (another abbreviation for laughing my ass out!)
Tanya: What’s there to laugh? Everyone is afraid of something or the other. You too are of something. I am afraid of the dark!
Vishal: I am not afraid of anything! It’s just you who is! :P
Tanya: Oh really? And all this while I thought you were afraid of me! :P
Vishal: Afraid of you? Why would I be? Are you a ghost or something that I should be afraid of you and as it is I don’t believe in ghosts so you can’t be one and hence I am not afraid of you. You can be a ‘witch’ for sure. :P
And oh FYI even though I can’t see you but I think there is someone standing right behind you staring at your computer screen with a mask on, dagger in the left hand which is hidden! Take care. He or she or whatever it is might hurt you!
No reply came in for a couple of minutes. It did scare me that what had happened. Was it that time of the day when anything that one says comes true and I had just did it? Highly illogical but pretty much possible!
Vishal: Are you alright?
Tanya: STFU (another abbreviation for your urban dictionary it is for Shut the fuck up!)
Vishal: What happened?
Tanya: When you wrote that made up story of yours something fell on my left shoulder and it scared me to shit!
Vishal: hahahahahaha. ROTFLMAO (combine the last two you will get it!) I hope you don’t require a diaper change? Live with it. Your mom will be up in an hour or so I guess, and then she can change it for you.
Tanya: shut up.
Vishal: Tit for tat! Hahahaha. I just can’t believe I just wrote that! :P
Tanya: hmnmmm. So I am done telling you why I wasn’t able to sleep. What’s your story?
Vishal: Story? I don’t have a story. This is kind of my normal routine! :P
I lied. There was no way I was going to tell her the truth that I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking of her!
Tanya: Oh so you were finally able to trick me. Nice. You are learning. Slowly and slowly I will turn you into a professional.
Vishal: haha. Good one. So did you figure out what fell on your left shoulder that scared you?
Tanya: Actually I did but I am not going to tell you anyway!
Vishal: Why not?
Tanya: Because it is much more humiliating than confessing that I was scared!
Vishal: Trust me there can’t be anything else as much humiliating! Go on tell me. I can keep a secret. I promise I will take it to my grave with me ;)
Tanya: Okay but you won’t laugh and you won’t tell it to anyone! If you tell anyone that means you are declaring a war and I should confess, I never lose!
Vishal: Oooooooooooo. I am so scared! Tell me! :P
Tanya: It was actually a strand of my hair which fell on the shoulder and scared me.
Vishal: If I say that I didn’t laugh over that, it will be an insult to the incident. I am sorry. I did say there wasn’t anything much humiliating that you told me before but to be honest this incident beats that 101 times on 100.
Tanya: You have terrific mathematic skills as well! Good going! Now will you please shut up! L
Vishal: Okay okay. I am sorry for being such a jackass but you will have to admit it was funny! :P
Tanya: hmmm I admit it was. Actually, after I figured it out, I laughed at myself! :D
Vishal: Nice. So any plans of sleeping?
Tanya: Um. Yes actually. The sun is almost up and I am no longer scared so I think I will be able to sleep now! J
Vishal: Good. It’s time for bed lil girl. : P
Tanya: Uh. Looks like you have been taking classes from Ayesha trying to find out things that I hate being referred to as. : P
Vishal: haha. I am not and you have a good sense of humour ;)
Tanya: Sure I do and enough flirting for one night mr. sweet boy :P I am off to bed now. Good night or good morning (whatever suits you) I am off and before I go I would like to say that it was nice talking to you. I considered you to be a complete jerk, dumbass, idiotic fool, a brainless person with a huge ego but my opinion about you is changing slowly! Nice talking to you bye bye.
She wrote the final words and went offline. Her last message confused me a bit. I couldn’t understand whether I had worsened my reputation or raised it from a negative to a neutral point. No wonder her last message sure messed up my head yet again.
It was around six thirty in the morning and the sun was out. It always felt nice seeing the sun and going to sleep. It brings a sense of freshness to the dreams!
With this last thought, the thought I was going to use to prevent mom from waking me up early and giving her a reason for being awake the whole night I went off to sleep. It was an eventful day or an eventful morning and I had now lost my ability to think, so I went off to sleep!