41 likes, 68 comments, On the Wall...it's Complicated!

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41 likes, 68 comments, On the Wall...it's Complicated! Page 16

by vidit chopra


  Chapter 14: Classical Indian family drama set up

  So now that I was on a hospital bed with my right leg slung up to keep it straight, which meant it was broken, so was my left arm. I most probably had bruises all over my body, bandages in my right arm, on the forehead and a lot of other places. I was hurt and quite visibly too.

  As soon as Mom entered the room, it was time for the drama to begin. It is at such situations that one thinks of one of those family drama directors who is ready, everything set in place, “Lights, camera and action!” It was similar with my Mom. That’s with most of the Moms is what I would say. No Mom likes to see her child in pain, in suffering or hurt. Soon after she entered tears started rolling down her eyes. She didn’t say much, for soon after she entered, the doctor started examining me, to see if I had any more injuries which were left to be looked at and maybe to see that I hadn’t gotten mentally demented after the baseball bat was smashed on my head. Luckily I wasn’t.

  The doctor examined me, asked me a couple of questions, if I felt any sort of pain in any of the body parts other than the ones that were already bandaged.

  “He is a brave man. He will be alright in a couple of weeks. There is nothing to worry about.” Dr. Rao said after he had examined me. He was Dad’s colleague and that meant we were back in Delhi and hence I was relieved for the time being. We were in the Apollo which happens to be Dad’s work place as well hence I was safe in this area.

  After the examining was over dad went along with Dr. Rao to discuss my reports and hence it was time for the love and fear to flow down the eyes of my mom in form of tears.

  She didn’t say a thing but just kept looking at me with tears flowing down.

  “I am okay Ma. There is nothing to worry about. Soon I will be walking and making a mess of my room again!” I said trying to make her feel better.

  “Yes ma he is fine. Don’t worry.” Simran joined in the battle to make her stop crying.

  She didn’t stop nor did she say anything. I could understand her worry but the fact that she was crying because of me irritated me to quite an extent.

  “Oh come on Ma. There is nothing to cry about.” I said in a tone that I normally wouldn’t have used when addressing her.

  “You will never understand.” She said through her tears.

  “What will we not understand?” I asked.

  “You will never understand the worry of a parent, the worry of a mom.” She said.

  She had pulled out the trump card and there was nothing I could find to reply to that. She was right, maybe I wouldn’t.

  “Please stop Ma. Please. The fact that you are crying is making me sad. I have several other reasons to be sad about at the moment.” I said.

  “What other reasons? First tell me, how did all of this happen in the first place?” Mom asked.

  That was one question which put me on the back foot. There was going to be a bigger drama if I told her the truth and lying would have gotten me into a bigger trouble. It was a no win situation at the moment hence I decided to remain shut and gave Simran a look which meant, “I am not able to think of a story. Find one and tell Mom!”

  “I have told them the truth.” Simran said to me. That was the last thing I would have wanted to hear at the moment but the fact that Simran understood my expressional message gave me some relief.

  “What do you mean by the t-r-u-t-h?” I said slowly.

  “The truth about that girlfriend of yours.” Mom said rather frustrated.

  I gave Simran a stern look.

  “What else was I supposed to do?” She said in a rather angry tone.

  “She did the right thing. She did what you should have and that too a long time ago.” Mom said.

  I didn’t have a reply to that.

  “It’s not been long since she is my girlfriend.” I said trying to avoid ‘not telling her’ part. This time Mom gave me a stern look.

  “What part of ‘I told them the truth’ did you not understand?” Simran said.

  So that meant my parents knew everything about me and Tanya which meant I was screwed up and it was going to be a lot more difficult to face them now.

  I thought of pulling out ‘I was about to tell you’ line, the line which is ever so often used by almost every person in any sort of fiction/reality situation when the person who shouldn’t have known, comes to know a secret that you have, but it would have made it all the more obvious that I wasn’t going to tell them.

  I decided to stay mum and closed my eyes pretending to have dozed off.

  “The reports are fine. He should be fine. They are saying to keep him four more days here just as a precaution.” I heard Dad’s voice.

  I opened my eyes and saw him standing right in front of me.

  “How are you doing young man?” He asked with a cheering smile on his face. This was one thing I loved about him; he would be the most cheerful person around when someone is down and out.

  “I am fine Dad but I surely have been better.” I said. I sure was having a difficult time facing them given that they came to know a lot of things that I should have told them and that too a long time back. I was feeling guilty.

  “I am not going to ask you how all of this happened for we all know about it.” He said and paused.

  I bowed my head in shame and guilt.

  “I do have a question for you though.” He said and paused again.

  “Yes Dad?” I said.

  “How many did you beat up?” He asked with a smile on his face.

  Now that was a question I didn’t expect.

  “A couple for sure.” I said with a grin on my face.

  “That’s my boy.” He said.

  “What is wrong with you? You are asking him how many people he beat up instead of asking why the fight broke out.” Mom said all the more irritated.

  “As I said we all know that and there is no point discussing that. Not in this place at least.” Dad replied.

  The family drama was up and running. We had low viewership though.

  “Have you filed a police complaint?” Mom asked Dad.

  “No I haven’t. Should I?” Dad said looking at me with questioning eyes.

  “I don’t want to Dad.” I said.

  “Why not?” Mom asked surprised.

  “Because it is not going to help in anyway. Do you know who we are dealing with over here!” I said.

  “Yes I do.” She replied.

  “Still you think filing a police complaint would help?” I asked.

  “Yes.” She replied.

  “It won’t and I have a solid reason for that.” I said.

  “What is that?” she asked.

  “While those ba…..” I stopped myself from swearing and restarted my sentence.

  “While those men were beating me up two police men were sitting in their jeep 20 meters from the spot doing absolutely nothing. It looked as if they were supervising the whole thing.” I said.

  Mom didn’t say anything after that. She knew I was right. Police wouldn’t help nor would anyone else hence she felt frustrated and irritated. She was feeling like that lioness whose cub had been hurt yet she was helpless about it, ready to do everything yet unable to do anything.

  “You should take rest now. Simran is here with you. I am sending Mom back home. There are a number of relatives over after they heard about your accident cum fight or whatever. It’s been a mad house. You take care. I will be around. In case you need anything call me. Right Simran?” Dad instructed me and Simran.

  “Yes Dad.” Simran replied.

  I too nodded.

  “Don’t worry you can go back to Dehradun in a month’s time.” Dad said and winked.

  Simran and I smiled.

  “What does he have to do with Dehradun? He is not going back to that place.” Mom said.

  “Dad was joking ma. You surely need some rest. You go back home. I am here with this broken man.” Simran said.

  She didn’t say much and went out of
the room. She was angry and everyone could feel that. It was best if she were left alone, just to avoid any sort of arguments that you would have to repent later on. Dad too went off to see his patients.

  “Why did you tell them?” I asked Simran as soon as they left.

  “What else could I have done?” She said.

  “I don’t know. You should have made up a story or something.” I said.

  “And what would that have done?” She asked.

  “Saved me from feeling guilty for not telling them about this earlier. You could have tampered our dating years at least.” I said.

  “Grow up Vishal. That wouldn’t have done anything. Telling them the truth was the only option that looked right to me hence I did it.” She said.

  I didn’t reply.

  “As far as I think this was the best time to tell them in fact. They were easy on you.” She said.

  “That remains to be seen. How easy they are on me about this.” I said.

  “We will see.” She said.

  “Where are Ayesha and Kabir?” I asked.

  “They are at home. They were here all night hence have gone back to take some rest. I will just text them that you are alive and annoying as always” She said.

  “Yeah whatever.” I said.

  She texted them while I stared at the ceiling. I was missing Tanya again but couldn’t think if this was the right time to talk about her.

  “And Tanya?” I said rather softly.

  “What about her?” she asked.

  “Where is she?” I said.

  “The princess is in her castle. Where else would she be.” She replied rather irritated.

  “Why are you talking like that? Did I miss something?” I asked confused by the way she reacted when asked about Tanya.

  “You didn’t miss anything and that’s exactly what I am talking about.” She said.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “She didn’t even have the courtesy to give a call or message or anything since you have been lying here.” She said.

  “Well I kind of expected that. When her father can send men to thrash me, he might well have taken away her phone privileges.” I said defending Tanya.

  “You expect her Dad to be so free that he would be monitoring her 24 X 7” She said.

  “Well maybe one of his men is.” I said.

  “That’s totally irrational Vishal and even if there is someone monitoring her, I can’t believe that she just hasn’t got a moment where she just wasn’t able to contact any of us. I mean it’s been three fucking days since the event yet none of us has received any information from her of any kind. Even if someone is monitoring her and she wasn’t able to contact me or Kabir, she could have contacted Ayesha at least. She is her best friend and she has the right to talk to her. That wouldn’t have been a problem I guess.” She reasoned.

  I didn’t reply to that for she was right. There was something that just didn’t fit in.

  “I have been here for three days.” I shouted after analyzing that part of her speech.

  “Yes you have been in here for two days after you were transferred from a local hospital in Dehradun to here.” She said.

  I was thinking of a reason why Tanya hadn’t contacted as yet. She even had Kushal with her so it wouldn’t have been a problem. At least Kushal could have called up and asked what was happening given that it was his fault that all this was happening.

  “Any news from Kushal?” I asked.

  “Nothing from him either.” She replied.

  That was surprising. Something was definitely wrong. I could feel it but couldn’t analyze what exactly. There was nothing that could have been done about it at the moment. The best we could have done was to wait for them to contact us.

  “Where are my devices?” I asked. Those little things were the second most loved on my list.

  “Crushed, broken and gone. The remains are at home just in case you want to have a look at them.” Simran replied.

  “Fucking bastards.” I said on hearing the news.

  “You will get new ones. Be happy about it.” Simran said.

  “That goes without saying though.” I said and smiled.

  “Yeah for you it does.” She said.

  “My head hurts.” I said.

  “It’s been hurt so it will hurt dumb head.” She replied.

  “How do I look?” I asked.

  “Honestly…” She said and paused.

  “Yes?” I said.

  “You look like a piece of shit. Just like one of those Bollywood heroes beaten up by the men of his girlfriend’s father.” She said.

  “My story is classic Bollywood.” I said and smiled.

  “Sure it is and hopefully the end too will be even though I have serious doubts about this girl of yours.” She said.

  “Don’t worry. She will call eventually hopefully.” I said.

  She laughed.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that line to you?” She said.

  “Maybe but I trust her and I know she loves me and I know she will call.” I said.

  “Oooo. Love is in the air.” She said with a sarcastic tone.

  “I feel dizzy. I should sleep I guess.” I said.

  “Yes you should.” She said.

  The medicines were taking a toll on me and I soon dozed off.

  The next two weeks were one of the toughest weeks for I had nowhere to go and nothing to do whatsoever. Most of the time went in sleeping, telling the whole story (the cooked up story) of how it happened, where it happened, when it happened and several similar questions to all the visitors/relatives. The remaining went in thinking about Tanya and asking Kabir, Simran and Ayesha every now and then if there was any message from her. Sadly, the answer was a no every single time. It was driving me crazy now. I was having self-doubt now.

  “Was everything for real? Was she just not interested in knowing if I was alive or dead? Did she ever love me or was it all a big fat lie?” I questioned myself. These were the simple ones and then I began to think of several other possibilities.

  “Was she alright? Was her Dad going too hard on her after knowing about us?” The questions and possibilities were many but there wasn’t an answer to any of them. A week after the discharge, I still had a couple of weeks for the plasters to come off which meant two weeks more of misery but it was pretty much lessened by the fact that I had my laptop (not that it has any relevance out here but it’s a laptop and never a lappi) and an internet connection which meant the day was much easier to spend. The first thing I did as soon as I laid hands on my laptop, most of you might have guessed it by now, Mark Zuckerberg’s disease had to be opened and hence it was.

  As soon as I logged in, there were more than 50 notifications all related to the ‘get well soon’ messages and related stuff. I searched if there was any from Tanya but sadly there was none. Kabir and Ayesha had also left for Dehradun the same day and I had requested cum ordered them to get me something about Tanya as soon as they reached. When I found nothing from there, I opened her profile to see if there was any recent activity. Sadly, there was none. It got me all the more worried.

  “Where the hell are you Tanya?” I said to myself worried.

  I looked at the time; it was still about an hour for Ayesha’s train to reach Dehradun. Even with the technology in my hand, the thing using which I could normally spend days without saying a word, I was feeling agitated. I desperately needed some news about her. It had already been two weeks yet there was no news from her. Something definitely was wrong but what, remained to be seen.

  I tried to divert my mind from her and tried to work on something but I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. It had been a while since I picked up my pen and paper to write a poem and taking it to be the only ‘escape from reality’ at the moment I wrote,

  “You are the reason that I live,

  Keeping you happy is my single biggest motive.

 
; You make me laugh, you make me cry,

  You are the person to whom I never lie.

  Life is beautiful when you are around,

  And miserable when you are not around.

  You are the one, who provides me stability,

  Bearing my moods, even my cruelty.

  Those soft hands, that faint smile,

  Everything beautiful about you,

  Making you guilty of a crime.

  The crime of stealing my heart.

  I can’t express how deeply I am in love with you

  But when I say

  I LOVE YOU

  I mean every single syllable.

  I wrote this for not that I miss you,

  But because I am never able to forget you.

  Thank you for making life such a memorable experience,

  Thank you for making me a part of your brilliance.

  Thank you for loving me when I needed it.

  Thank you for scolding me when I needed to be.

  Thank you for consoling me when I needed to be.

  Thank you for everything.

  You are my love, You are my life.

  I’ll love you through every strife.!!!”

  I texted Kabir to ask where they had reached and eagerly waited for the reply but he didn’t reply. I kept checking my phone every other second to see I there was a reply but there was none. It made me feel all the more agitated. I had nowhere to go, the only people who could tell me about Tanya weren’t replying. It was one of those moments when your gut feeling says that something is wrong and you start making up situations of what probably is wrong which makes you feel all the more tensed till you are able to talk to the person you were having a bad feeling about. I was having one such moment and hence nothing other than being able to talk to Tanya was going to satisfy me.

  Just then Simran entered the room.

  My face showed an expression of tension and fear at the same time.

  “Are you alright bro?” She asked seeing an expression of worry on my face.

  “I am fine. Did you hear from Ayesha yet? Where have they reached?” I asked.

  “No. I didn’t get any news about them reaching back. The scheduled time is ten minutes from now.” She replied checking her watch.

  I nodded.

  “Still waiting to hear from Tanya?” She said.

  I nodded again. I didn’t have much to say about it as it is she had her doubts about Tanya.

  “Don’t worry. She will be fine and I am sure you will hear from her soon. You both love each and we have seen that, on tape as well!” She said and winked with a smirk on her face.

  “Shut up. I am freaking out here.” I said even though her little joke had eased me out a bit.

  “Don’t worry bro. She will be doing just fine.” She said.

  “I hope so.” I replied.

  I was feeling very nervous still. It had been more than two weeks since we had seen or even spoken to each other which was a mammoth amount of time given the amount of time we had spent together at college and elsewhere in the past four years. I sure was addicted to her. I just couldn’t help but write another poem for at the moment that looked to be the only way of passing time. It helped for I was thinking about her while writing which meant I didn’t have to take my mind off her!

  It's something that I have never felt before,

  It's something which is still lacking a cure.

  I feel frustrated, I feel irrelevant.

  I don't know what's happening,

  Maybe it's you who I am missing,

  Maybe it's you for what I am craving.

  I do realize,

  The signs are not good,

  But what can I do,

  I feel incomplete without you!

  Yes, I know what is happening,

  Yes, I know what has happened.

  Yes, I am addicted to you.

  Yes, I am addicted to you.

  It's you who makes me rhyme,

  It's you who will be my partner in crime.

  Maybe not being able to talk,

  Made me think, while having a walk.

  That it is you whom I am addicted to.

  Missing you is no longer a happening,

  It's a habit now.

  Craving to talk to you is no longer a wait,

  But just two people meeting their fate.

  I wish you were here,

  To know how much I miss you,

  I wish you were here,

  To know how much I love you.

  I just can't stop thinking about you,

  And maybe that shows how much I am in love with you.

  It's you who is the reason,

  It's you who is the culprit,

  It's you because of whom I am addicted now,

  It's you whom I am addicted to!

  I checked my watch again. It was five minutes after the scheduled time for train’s arrival when I called up Kabir to confirm if they had reached but again there was no answer.

  I called up Ayesha and she picked up. The train was delayed by fifteen minutes which meant we whined over the state of trains in the country before I hung up the phone asking Ayesha to call me as soon as she was with Tanya. Half an hour more of misery before I could hear the voice I was addicted to (hopefully).

  I went back to my laptop to do something productive but nothing really struck my mind hence all I did was right click and kept pressing the refresh button. This happens to be the favorite pass time of a number of computer geeks out there who are hooked to their computer but don’t really have anything to do and at the moment I was one of them!

  Facebook all of a sudden started irritating me. So did all the other websites. Nothing made sense. Maybe irritation was part of the craving. I needed to speak to my drug and that too quick!

  Half an hour passed by even though it looked longer than a day. I checked my phone to see if there was an update from Kabir or Ayesha but there was none. I gave her a call but the message beeped, “The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable”

  I waited for a couple of minutes and dialed again. This time she picked it up.

  “Hello” She said.

  “Hello. Where did you people reach?” I asked.

  “About to reach home. I will call you in a minute.” She said and hung up.

  It was time to face the reality. It was time to get the answers to all the questions that had loomed since the past two weeks. After a couple of minutes my phone beeped and Ayesha’s name flashed on the screen.

  “Yes.” I said.

  “There is some bad news.” There was severe amount of sadness in Ayesha’s voice when she spoke this.

  “What is it?” I asked. Given by her voice, death too didn’t seem farfetched.

  “The house is locked. There is no one home. I asked the watchman. He says that they rarely come home. They have shifted somewhere else last week.” She said.

  I gave a sigh of relief. It wasn’t that bad a news. She was fine which was much more important than where she was.

  “Did he tell where did they shift?” I enquired.

  “Nope. He says that her Dad still lives here. The rest three of them have shifted to a new place he is unaware of.” She replied.

  “Okay. What do we do know?” I asked.

  “We will figure something out. Don’t worry. She is fine. That is more important. I am going home as of now. So will call you later. Take care.” She said and hung up.

  I was confused about it all. Maybe it was the end they had in our destiny. If it was then there was nothing I could do about it.

  “She should have called. If she was shifting she would have got ample time to give a ring but she didn’t. She surely should have called.” I said to myself. It felt as though somebody had plunged a dagger straight into my heart and it pained like hell.

  “She should have called.” I said to myself again.

  I switched on my laptop yet again and opened up the disease. The profile showed a numbe
r of online friends and I didn’t really care about any of them at the moment. Still I opened it up to give a glance. I so wished her to be online but sadly she wasn’t. It was all a big disaster. The questions got bigger and much more heart breaking this time.

  “Maybe it was all a joke to her. Maybe it was nothing but an infatuation for her. Maybe I had got her right at first and then she messed up with my head. Maybe I was the fool. Maybe.” I said to myself yet again. I was so pissed at her that I wanted to remove her from my life and from my virtual life as well.

  I opened up her profile to unfriend her. As soon as I opened her profile there was much joy rather than sadness. There was an update from her a minute ago which read, “Tanya Sharma changed her current city from Dehradun To Mumbai” Right after I read this update, I clicked on the online friends tab and she was online.

  I clicked on her name and wrote ‘hi’ as soon as the chat window popped up.

  “I just hope she hasn’t gone offline” I said to myself.

  I eagerly waited for her to reply. Finally, ‘Tanya is typing’ clause appeared and my eyes beamed.

  “Hi. How are you doing love?” She wrote

  “I am fine. Getting better. Where the hell have you been?” I wrote.

  “I and Mom have shifted to Mumbai. Have joined a college for PG. I really can’t talk at the moment love. Will talk to you later. Bye. Love you.” She wrote and before I could key in a reply she went offline.

  “What was that supposed to mean?” I asked myself.

  Apart from the fact that I had satisfied my craving of talking to her, there were several questions which still loomed.

  “If she loved me and cared about me, she surely would have called up someone in my family in the past two weeks. Now just today, she said she loves me and maybe wasn’t able to contact anyone because of the shifting.” I thought to myself.

  Girls sure know how to mess up a guy’s head.

  I was pondering over a lot things and was completely lost in thought.

  “What are you thinking?” Simran asked. I was startled on hearing her. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even notice her enter the room.

  “What happened?” She asked after seeing my weird reaction. She then looked at the laptop screen when she didn’t get a reply from me.

  Tanya’s profile was open and she read the update, “Tanya Sharma changed current city to Mumbai.”

  “What the hell is this?” she said out of surprise.

  “She has shifted to Mumbai what else.” I replied out of frustration.

  “You still think she loves you?” She asked.

  I nodded and tried to force a smile.

  “I don’t understand any of this Vishal. I mean what sort of love is this. She has moved out of her place to a completely new place when you were in the fucking hospital and she was the fucking reason for you to be in that condition!” She said.

  “I don’t know Simran. All I know is I love her.” I replied keeping it short and simple.

  “And she loves you too?” She enquired.

  “I guess.” I replied.

  “And you say that because?” She asked.

  “Because she said so.” I replied. It was the simplest reply possible.

  “When was that? Two weeks ago? Till the moment everything was good? You know what real love is? Real love would have been when she would have been here with you since moment one. Let alone being here, she didn’t even call up to know if you are alive or dead.” She said furious, her face turning red with anger.

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to know. All I know is that I love her. End of story. About her saying that she loves me well that too wasn’t long ago. We just had a chat and she did say that she loved me even though her behavior looked surprisingly normal. It was as if nothing had changed. As if everything that had happened didn’t really exist in her world.” I said.

  She didn’t really reply to that and stayed mum. Mom called out for Simran from the kitchen which meant our conversation was cut short as she went off.

  I stayed online the whole day in the hope that she will come online again but that didn’t really happen. Most of the friends and relatives had already paid a visit which meant there was silence in the house and I liked it. The only visitors that came in were the neighbor aunties who were always on the hunt for some gossip.

  At around 10 at night, I dozed off when the medicines with anesthetic nature started making their impact.

 

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