41 likes, 68 comments, On the Wall...it's Complicated!

by vidit chopra

  Chapter 15: The Revelation

  It was one rough night yet again. The questions still loomed and there were still no answers to any one of them.

  Amidst all these thoughts and all the worries, the meds did what they were best at- induced sleep into me which was pretty much required.

  In the middle of night I heard my phone ring but the effect of meds was such I couldn’t gather enough energy to pick it up. After a couple of minutes it rang again and I paid no heed to it. It rang again after a couple more minutes. The ringer had done enough to bring me back to my senses and hence I glanced at the screen to who it was.

  It was an unknown mobile number and I had no plans of picking it up. I kept it down and tried to sleep. The ringer buzzed again after a minute. Something told me that this could be Tanya calling up and as soon as this though entered my mind, all the sleep was gone and I hurriedly picked up the phone.

  “Hello.” I said clearing my throat because of the lump that was formed.

  “Hi.” I heard a pretty familiar voice say. It was nothing but what was expected. It was Tanya.

  “Hi.” I said.

  “How are you doing?” She asked. Her voice as enthusiastic as ever.

  “Have seen better days.” I said still trying to clear my throat.

  “Okay. How are the wounds healing?” She asked again.

  “Getting better.” I said. I was still confused if I should be fighting with her or should I be happy that she had finally called hence the answers were plain and straightforward.

  “Looks like I have disturbed you in the middle of your sleep.” She said her tone getting less enthusiastic.

  “Well that’s nothing new as far as I remember. It used to happen every second night. Didn’t it?” I said.

  “Why are you talking rudely?” she said.

  “I am not. I am normal.” I said.

  “I don’t think so.” She replied.

  “And why do you say that?” I asked.

  “Because I know you better than you know yourself.” She replied.

  “Is that so?” I said with a smile across my face.

  “Yes and stop smiling.” She said. It was as if she could see me through the phone.

  She knew me too well.

  “I am not smiling.” I lied.

  “Yes you are.” She chuckled.

  “No I am not.” I replied.

  “See you just said you are.” She said.

  “I didn’t” I replied.

  “You used two negatives in a single statement which made it a positive. Haven’t we gone through this before?” She said, her chuckle broke into a sweet laughter.

  “So I need to use the punctuations even when I am speaking. If I have to, then No comma I am not. Is that fine now?” I replied. The smile just not ready to fade.

  It was her voice, it automatically brought a smile to my face.

  “Okay okay. I was just kidding. You don’t have to justify yourself.” Her mood getting worse every time she spoke.

  I didn’t speak. Silence persisted for a couple of seconds.

  “How are you doing?” I finally asked breaking the silence.

  “I am good. Mom just slept so I thought of giving you a call.” She said.

  “So you finally got the time to talk to time.” I said finally bringing up the issue that I was trying to avoid all along.

  “What do you mean?” She asked a bit startled.

  “You know what I mean Tanya. It’s been more than two weeks since I have been lying in the fucked up place half dead and yet you didn’t even care to talk to me or even talk to your best friend Ayesha to check if I was alive or dead when the beating I took was because of you in the first place.” I said and immediately repented doing so.

  “What the fuck are you talking about? How can you even think that I wouldn’t even care! I was in constant contact with Simran di. I used to talk to her all the time just to know how you were doing.” She replied.

  The words hit me hard. It left me perplexed and confused. Simran never really mentioned it. In fact she was the one bugging me all the time for Tanya not being concerned, for not calling even once since the happening and then it was Tanya who is now saying that she was in constant contact with Simran. Who was to be believed and who wasn’t to be. I loved them both and trusted them as well but who was right and who was wrong I just couldn’t understand. I was completely lost in thought.

  “Hello.” Tanya said again when I didn’t speak for a minute. I woke up from my thought and said, “yes.”

  “What yes?” She said.

  “Nothing. I am sorry.” I said.

  “You are what?” She said pretending that she couldn’t hear what I had just said.

  “I am not playing your sorry game again please!” I said a bit more irritated.

  She laughed.

  “You are so sweet.” She said.

  “Shut up.” I replied.

  “You are shoooooooo shweet.” She said again.

  “Shut the fuck up.” I replied, my irritation level on a soaring high. The thought that Simran hadn’t told me the truth still troubled me.

  “Okay.” She replied, her voice sounding irritated.

  “Sorry.” I said.

  “What? Come again?” She said and laughed.

  “You are…” I said and paused.

  “Sweet and intelligent. I know that, tell me something new.” She said before I could complete.

  “You just wouldn’t change would you?” I said.

  “Do you want me to?” She asked.

  “No, I don’t and this one was with a comma hence I meant I don’t want you to change.” I said.

  “Ya ya I get it. There is nothing to get hyper about.” She said.

  “I am not getting hyper; I am just clarifying before you start your shit again.” I said and repented it soon after.

  “So you mean I talk shit.” She said.

  “I didn’t mean it. I am sorry.” I said.

  “You meant it Vishal. I am me when I am with you and I thought you loved me for it but I guess not anymore.” She said sounding bereaved with every word she spoke.

  “I didn’t mean it Tanya. I am sorry.” I said repenting even though I was still pissed at her.

  “It’s okay asshole I was just kidding.” She said and laughed.

  “You weren’t.” I said.

  “I was kidding. Seriously.” She said.

  “You know this is where you are wrong. You think that you know yourself but the fact is I know you more than you know yourself.” I said.

  “That’s one sexy line. Which movie is it from?” She said and laughed.

  “Shut up. Don’t piss me more as it is I am pissed enough for not giving me a call.” I said coming back to the point of conversation.

  The constant smile that was across her face faded. Even though I couldn’t see it but I could feel it.

  “Vishal I told you. I did call Simran di up almost every single day to ask how you were.” She said sounding a bit irritated.

  “Then why didn’t she tell me?” I spoke.

  “How would I know that Vishal. It’s for you to ask.” She said.

  She was right. I should confirm it with Simran first before confronting her.

  “But why didn’t you talk to Ayesha all this while. She is your best friend. You should have called her at least.” I reasoned.

  “I did try to call her up but most of the times I tried it was either switched off or busy. Maybe she was out of balance or maybe she didn’t want to talk. I don’t know. Moreover I thought that since I am talking to Simran di, everybody would be aware that I was fine. For the later part I was all busy packing up for the shifting process.” She said sounding more pissed every single time she spoke.

  “Okay.” I said.

  There was silence for ten seconds. Neither of us spoke. It was enough of a fight in one night. It was as it is a rarity in our case. I thought of cooling it down.

  “So why did your Mom
move along with you? You still a kiddo or what?” I said.

  “Shut up. I am no kiddo. You are a kiddo. I am very capable of living alone and at first that was the plan but Dad is still mad at me for whatever happened that night. Hence he asked Mom to move with me. It’s just temporary though. She will go back in a month or so. Once I have settled into the system over here.” She said.

  “First, I am not a kiddo. Secondly, you are for you needed your Mom to move with you till you settle in.” I said.

  “There you go. You have found a point to banter me about and you will continue to do so and keep irritating me.” She said.

  “Maybe you are right kiddo.” I said.

  “I am not a kiddo.” She said.

  “You are” I said.

  “I am not” She said getting all the more irritated every time I used the word kiddo.

  “You are.” I said.

  “I am not.” She said.

  “Are” I reiterated

  “Not” She reiterated.

  “Are” I said

  “Not” she said

  “Are” the loop continued

  “Not” the loop continued

  “Are” the loop continued

  “Not” the loop continued.

  “Not” I said trying to catch here with that very old trick which works more often than not.

  “Are. Oh no. Shit. I am not. ” She finally said.

  “There you go. You have finally confessed it. You are a kiddo.” I said.

  “Okay I am a kiddo. Happy?” she said, her voice showing that she had reached the highest level of irritation.

  “I am always happy. I still need to resolve a couple of issues though.” I said after thinking for a second.

  “What issues?” She inquired.

  “The one relating to you calling Simran and her denying the fact that you called.” I said.

  “Well I can’t help you on that front.” She said.

  “I will sort….”

  “I guess Mom is coming. I will call you up tomorrow myself. Bye. Love you. Good night.” And hung up immediately before I could complete my sentence.

  “…it out myself. Good night love you. Bye.” I completed my sentence even though she had hung up a couple of seconds ago.

  A few more questions loomed in my head now. The previous ones were all gone, most of them clarified by Tanya’s call but the big one that now came up was ‘why did Simran hide from me that Tanya had called.’

  There were a couple more things I didn’t know about like what Tanya’s Mom’s stand about the whole issue was. Where was Kushal and what happened to his plan of making-it-work with his Dad. The questions were such that they were making me an insomniac. I was lying in my bed, sleep deprived, lost in thoughts that were making my head pain. It was around 3 A.M. in the morning which meant the misery was to stay for at least four hours more till someone comes to the room. I tried to sleep but the thoughts got better of me. I felt irritated, annoyed. Maybe I was missing Tanya. A number of mixed emotions made me feel all the more frustrated. I couldn’t resist anymore and hence gave Simran a call.

  I dialed her number and waited for her to answer. As was expected she didn’t answer the first time round. I called her again.

  Waking her up in the middle of the night was one job even Hercules would have had a tough time in achieving. She was like the ‘kumbhkaran’ prototype of the modern world!

  She didn’t answer the second time either. I wasn’t going to give up for I was irritated and I wanted to confront her, wanted to know why did she lied. I called her up again.

  No answer. The machine beeped again.

  I redialed. No answer yet again.

  I wasn’t going to give up till she answered. As it is I didn’t have anything better to do.

  I called her up again. No answer. This continued for another fifteen odd minutes and she didn’t answer which meant I had already left 20 odd missed calls on her phone. After that, I lost count of the number of times I called her. It had gotten on my reflex now. I was like a robot now, automatically pressing the call button twice to give a call to the most recent called number which was Simran's. Waiting for her to answer, cutting the call as soon as the machine came up with the message, cutting the call and then pressing the call button twice again.

  At around 4.15 A.M. which roughly makes it 90 odd missed calls later she answered but because it had gotten on my reflex my thumb cut the call even though I didn’t want to!

  It was like:

  Hello.” Simran said still half asleep.

  “Hello” My mouth uttered as I beamed for she had finally picked up but before I could say more I cut the phone for my mind thought that it was the machine which had answered and it was time to recall and wait for her to answer. That’s something you are bound to face if you give 100 odd calls to a person in an hour! Personal advice: Don’t do it!

  I called her up again, this time in a hurry just to prevent her from sleeping again for waking her up this time would take more than a 100 calls! The phone rang and there was no answer for about ten seconds. I felt disgusted at the thought of her having slept again. She didn’t pick up. I called her up again and ‘impatiently waited’ for her to answer.

  Finally, she did.

  “Hello.” She said in a sleepy and irritated tone.

  “Come to my room right now.” I ordered.

  “Why?” She asked still pretty much irritated.

  “Because I am asking you to.” I said

  “Shut up. It’s middle of the night. I am not getting out of bed for no reason.” She said, her voice still sounding sleepy.

  “You want to know the reason for me to call you?” I asked.

  “Yes.” Her plain blunt reply.

  “Well, I have fallen off my bed and I am just not able to get up myself because of the broken hand and foot which is because of the ass whopping I received a couple of weeks back. Now will you please come and help me.” I lied.

  “What?” She shouted. The exact reaction that I had expected. All the sleep in her voice and presumably in her eyes was gone and I could hear her hurriedly getting up.

  “I will be right there. Stay as you are.” She said with a bit of urgency in her voice.

  “I can’t move signifies I will stay where I am.” I said.

  “Shut up. I will be right there.” She said and hung up.

  After around 30 seconds she entered the room. There was urgency in everything she was doing from the way she opened the door to the way to the way she looked in and came close to the bed. Once she stopped and found me sitting on the bed without any sort of trouble her eyes narrowed as she gave an angry stare as if to say, “What the fuck is this?”

  “What?” I said.

  “Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?” She said.

  “No.” I said and smiled.

  “Very funny. You seem to be fine. This was a very bad joke Vishal. You shouldn’t have done this.” She said.

  “Done what?” I said and shrugged.

  “Calling me up in the middle of the night, waking me up in the middle of my sleep for no reason whatsoever.” She said in a rather angry tone.

  “Well I am sorry but I needed to talk to you and you were just not ready to pick up the phone or come here without a valid reason and the real reason was not worth conversing over the phone.” I said.

  “We could have spoken about whatever it is in the morning as well.” She said.

  “That’s the point. I just wasn’t able to sleep hence I couldn’t help but call you here and to tell you the fact I am angry with you.” I said. It was lame and stupid yet I did say that.

  “What did I do know? I should be the one angry with you for what you did, instead you are the one who is saying this to me. How idiotic is that.” She said.

  “It’s regarding Tanya.” I ignored what she had just said.

  She was about to speak something but then stopped after hearing what I had just said.

  “What about
her?” She asked. Her expression changed from anger to a rather strange one.

  “She just called.” I said.

  “Oh……So……finally……she did call.” She stammered.

  “Yes she did but there was something strange about our conversation.” I said.

  “What?” she asked rather lightly.

  “She sounded too normal as if nothing whatsoever had happened that she knew that I was fine.” I said.

  “Oh. Did she? That’s very strange.” She replied.

  “Yes it is.” I agreed.

  “As I told you Vishal. She is very ignorant and I don’t like her one bit. I think it’s time you too realize that.” She said.

  “Is she?” I asked.

  “Is she what?” She asked.

  “Ignorant?” I asked again.

  “I think so. I know you love her but I don’t think she reciprocates the same feeling for you. I can be wrong but at least that’s what I think.” She said.

  “I don’t know that Simran but what I do know is what Tanya told me. I don’t mean to confront you or anything but I am just too confused and want to know what the truth is.” I said.

  “What did she say?” She asked.

  “She said that she was in constant contact with you throughout the last two weeks. She said that you were keeping her updated on everything that was happening and that’s the reason she didn’t call me.” I said.

  “She didn’t call me.” She denied.

  “Please Simran. I trust you and I hope you are speaking the truth because she means more than life to me.” I said.

  She simply nodded and didn’t say a word.

  “So?” I said.

  “So.” She said.

  I didn’t want to get stuck into the infinite loop of ‘so’ hence I finally asked.

  “Listen Simran this is the final time I am asking you. It all depends on you now. I just hope you will tell me the truth because whatever you say might end up turning my life upside down. Shoot me the truth irrespective of the fact that it may be an ugly one. I am ready to take it all. I love her and maybe I will never be able to forget her so it’s really important for you to say the truth.” I said in a very serious tone.

  She nodded as she thought for an apt reply.

  “What exactly happened?” I asked finally.

  “She did call me up.” She finally confessed as her eyes stared at the ground.

  “Tell me about it.” I said.

  “She was with you the entire time when you were in the Dehradun Hospital. That’s where she met Mom and Dad and they came to know the truth about the two of you. When you were moved back here in Delhi she wanted to come along but it was unreasonable. Her Dad was still mad at her for not telling him the truth and also, her call to join office had arrived hence I asked her to stay back.” She said and paused to breathe.

  I was going through mixed emotions. I was falling in love with Tanya all over again and had just started hating Simran for lying to me.

  “Go on.” I said weakly.

  “She called up every single day, two to three times each day to ask how you were doing. Not a day went by without her calling me up. The fact is she supported me and calmed me down more than anyone else did.” She said and started weeping.

  I didn’t say a word. I was still confused and still a bit angry at her for lying.

  “But why didn’t you tell me the truth?” I asked.

  She didn’t reply. Crying always kind of got on my nerves not in a “I hate tears….Pushpa.” kind of a way but “There is nothing to cry about” way.

  “There is nothing to cry about Simran. Stop behaving like a kid. I asked you a simple enough question. Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” I asked in a rather angry tone.

  “I was just trying to protect you.” She said through her sobs.

  “Protect me? Protect me from what?” I asked.

  “Tanya’s Dad and his contacts.” She said.

  I laughed.

  “What’s there to laugh about?” She asked.

  “Just that you were trying to protect me after I had already been thrashed.” I said.

  “It happened once and I didn’t want it to happen again hence I didn’t want you to be around Tanya anymore.” She said.

  “That’s ridiculous Simran. How could you even think of something like that. You thought that by keeping me away from Tanya, you will be able to keep me safe but to me, I don’t see any point living safely if there is a life without her.” I said.

  She smiled even though tears still rolled down her eyes.

  “What now?” I asked.

  “Nothing.” She said and started laughing.

  “Did I say something wrong?” I asked.

  “No. Just the dialogue. You are slowly and slowly becoming that perfect ‘majnu’ that the world talks about.” She said and laughed.

  “Shut up. I don’t care about it. It’s a fact and hence I don’t mind being laughed at about it.” I said.

  “Okay okay lover boy I get it.” She said.

  “Shut up.” I said still a bit annoyed about everything.

  “I am sorry.” She said with a lot of emphasis on the last word.

  “Sorry for what?” I asked.

  “Sorry for everything I did.” She said.

  “Better be. I wouldn’t say anything to you for you know what you did was wrong plus I don’t really have the authority to say anything to you.” I said.

  “Oh come on Vishal. You don’t have to be that rude. Yes, I do realize that I was wrong and I am sorry for it.” She said.

  “It’s okay.” I said and smiled.

  She simply nodded.

  “Go and sleep now. I have satisfied my hunger to know the truth and hence I feel super sleepy now. Good night.” I said and lay in my bed; eyes closed waiting for her to leave the room.

  “Good night.” She said.

  “Good night.” I replied. I still couldn’t really sleep. There were a lot of thoughts which still troubled me. I was, at first, mad at Simran but when I thought about it with a cool mind, she was just trying to protect me, to keep me safe hence I couldn’t blame her for doing what she did. I couldn’t blame Tanya either for it wasn’t her fault whatsoever. What had the world come to! I couldn’t understand what was to be done or what was to be said. I loved Tanya and that’s all I knew as of now. I wanted to be with her no matter what, which was the bottom line. What was to be done next, no one really had a clue about but all that could have been said is that it sure will be filled with adventure.

  “I need to meet her.” The thought came up and it wasn’t ready to fade. With the thought of meeting her soon, I slept off and waited for my destiny to unfurl the way it was planned by the one above.